Total Drama Action Redux
by Lord Akiyama
Summary: An alternate universe story based around my idea of how the series would have gone. - Chapter Ten: Full Metal Drama
1. Alien Ressureggtion

**Total Drama Action Redux**

a _Total Drama_ fan fiction story

by Lord Akiyama

* * *

**Author's Note:** This is an alternate universe story based around my idea of how the series would have gone. It begins from the episode _Alien Resurr-eggtion_ onward. Some elements are the same as in the show, but the rest is taken in a different direction.

_Total Drama_ and its characters are copyright © of Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network. This story was created purely out of sheer enjoyment so please don't sue. Or throw me off a thousand-foot high cliff into a shark-infested lake. That would so smarts.

* * *

**Chapter One**

Alien Resurr-eggtion

* * *

_(Narrated by Chris McLean)_

Last time on Total Drama Action...

Fourteen teenagers. One engaging host. A dilapidated film lot. And a whole lotta coin. KA-CHING! Oh, and did I mention a remote controlled monster? Heh-ha-ha-heh! I love this show!

So any way, Beth, Bridgette, DJ, Duncan, Geoff, Gwen, Harold, Heather, Izzy, Justin, LeShawna, Lindsay, Owen, and Trent are all looking to extend their fifteen minutes of fame two days after leaving the island. Hey, they have a million reasons to subject themselves to even more pain and suffering no one else would be stupid enough to. Why shouldn't I have a little fun torturing the hell outta them if they're willing to endure them?

Beth arrived with her braces removed while Heather has to wear a wig to conceal the fact that she's a bald freak. There's plenty of hormones raging as couples Gwen and Trent, Bridgette and Geoff, and the highly disturbing Izzy and Owen put their love on the line for individual glory. Harold and LeShawna would have been counted in the mix, but LeShawna pulled the plug on their so-called romance before it could even sprout any legs. Or has she...

By the way, Izzy seems to have changed her name to Kaleidoscope. E-Scope for short. Why, I don't know. And frankly, I don't wanna. This is the same psycho who went out on a date with the remote controlled monster.

Long story short, Owen ate a buffet of fake food props to score victory for the guys and get first dibs on the cast trailers. He chose the one destroyed by the monster, much to the shock and disappointment of his fellow male companions. Unfortunately for the girls, their sigh of relief was short lived when the monster returned to crush their trailer as well. Oh well.

We're about to get this show on the road and it's only gonna get more dramatic every step of the way.

Who will survive to claim the one million dollar reward?

Find out on another thrilling episode of...

_TOTAL... DRAMA... ACTION!_

_(Cue Theme Song)_

* * *

It was early morning and the cast gathered at the Craft Services Tent for breakfast. Breakfast cooked by Chef Hatchet. Eggs and bacon, according to the chalkboard out front. But they were highly suspicious that there were additional ingredients added to the meal. Still, they did not have much of a choice as there was no chance in hell they were going to get to eat quality food. Not while they were still on the show.

As they lined up to be served their poisonous dish, Duncan was groaning. He was forced to wake up a lot earlier than usual. He was about to subject himself to another batch of hideous food. But what really irked him was that right in front of him Geoff and Bridgette were engaged in another session of tonsil hockey. To him, it was getting very tedious and very annoying.

"Keep the line moving, lovebirds," Duncan muttered aloud. There was no form of response from the kissing couple. In fact, it seemed like they did not hear him at all. Duncan rolled his eyes and sighed. "Well, this is going to be a joyous run."

"Ah, come on," Trent said. "Let them enjoy it while they can."

"Doesn't mean I have to enjoy it," Duncan responded. "Don't get me wrong, them being in a relationship is cool and all. But they've been sucking face more times than they've been breathing air. Frankly, I'm getting tired of seeing it."

"Aww, what's the matter?" Gwen asked in a teasing voice. "Is someone grumpy because he can't do the same thing they're doing since his Princess isn't here?" She started to laugh along with Trent.

"Bite me," Duncan growled. This only caused Trent and Gwen to laugh some more. Duncan let out a defeated sigh before moving up in line. "God, I hate mornings..."

Over in the front of the line, Izzy had skipped on the eggs and bacon. Instead, she managed to get a hold of some pancakes. Lindsay and Beth watched in horror as Izzy squeezed ketchup all over her breakfast.

"That's... so... wrong..." Lindsay gasped.

"So wrong..." Beth agreed.

Izzy merely giggled. "In battle, we put ketchup on everything," she proclaimed. Then she spoke in a very low voice. "Covering the taste of mortar." With a smile on her face, she left to find a table to sit at.

Lindsay quickly attempted to salvage the situation by changing the subject. Only not that well. "My new nail polish is mortar," she stated, holding the back of her hand up for Beth to see. "Isn't it hot?"

"Grey is so totally your color," Beth said in compliment. The two friends made their way to the other table to sit at. As far away from Izzy as they possibly could.

Tired and exhausted, Owen made his way to the front of the line. Chef placed a plate of eggs and bacon in front of him, the sight of which causing the big guy to moan.

"Oh..." Owen uttered. "No eggs and bacon for me, Chef. I'll just have this-" He gagged slightly, almost as though he was about to puke. When the feeling subsided, he continued. "- Nice bowl of prunes."

Everyone in the Craft Services Tent gasped in shock. Even Izzy could not believe what she was witnessing. Owen was actually choosing a specific dish over another. What's more, he was taking prunes.

Owen looked around at everyone with a confused look on his face. "What?" he asked.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Owen - "My, uh... plumbing's been clogged ever since I ate all those fake food props. Pressure build up's killing me!" /_Constipates._/ "C'mon colon! Don't fail me now!" /_Slight fart is heard._/ "Oh! I hear bells!"

* * *

Soon after everyone had a plate of breakfast, Chris entered. He wore sunglasses, a red scarf with a matching hat, and carried a backpack in one hand with a clapper board in the other. "Welcome to day two of... _TOTAL... DRAMA... ACTION!_" he announced, clapping the clapper board.

"Are you gonna do that every time?" Duncan asked in annoyance.

"Yes," Chris answered proudly. "Yes, I will."

Duncan rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Alright then," he said.

"Today's movie genre... aliens," Chris continued. "Our unpaid interns have been hard at work figuring out what makes an alien movie successful. Chef."

"You got three basic rules," Chef stated while cooking something rather unpleasant. "Aliens wanna take over the world and start makin' lotta baby aliens. People fight back. Then the military's called in." He waved his spoon, during which a chunk of disgusting food flung out and nailed Owen in one eye. "Yo, Chris! Where's my paycheck at?"

"It's... in the mail," Chris managed to say after some thought. Chef frowned, a sight that went ignored. The host dug into his backpack and pulled out a map. "Today's challenge... find an alien egg and return to home base before mama alien finds you. The two fastest get to pick the teams this season."

"Sorry, losers," Duncan announced with a chuckle. "But no one knows alien movies the way I do. The more obscure, the better." His statement was immediately challenged.

"Oh yeah?" Gwen questioned with a raised brow. Then she pointed her fingers at the punk and imitated a masculine male voice. "'I'm gonna blend up those no good aliens and have them for breakfast!'"

"No way," Duncan said. "Dude, _Alien Chunks_ is my favorite alien movie of all-time."

"Seen it twenty-seven times," Gwen stated proudly.

"Only twenty-seven?" Duncan questioned with a laugh. He thumped his chest with his thumb. "Fifty-three."

"Oh, you'll surely be tough to beat," Gwen mocked. "All I have is a lucky charm." As the conversation was going on, Trent watched silently with a look of concern on his face.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Gwen - "I love the scene in _Alien Chunks_ where they turn the aliens into fruity-blended drinks. I even have the necklace." /_Shows necklace to the camera._/

Trent - /_Sighs._/ "I dunno. I get this feeling that maybe there's some kinda connection Gwen has with Duncan. I keep trying to remind myself that Gwen likes me and Duncan likes Courtney. But then they start talking to each other, even if they're ribbing one another... It's when they're all 'friendly' that I start to get worried..."

* * *

"Hey, Chris?" DJ asked, raising a hand nervously. "You got some laser shootin' monster playin' mama alien?"

"Not quite," Chris replied with a sly grin.

It was then that Chef reappeared, no one having paid any sort of attention that he had ducked out from the kitchen in the first place. The big man stood before them wearing a badly made alien suit that just barely managed to cover every part of his back except for his face. He didn't look too happy to be wearing it at all.

"You call that slime?" Chris questioned, unimpressed with what he saw. "Make-Up! More slime over here!"

Everyone watched as a bucket's worth of slime slowly drenched Chef. "I hate my life," he muttered.

Chris reached back into his backpack and pulled out numerous handheld objects. "Here are your GPS devices, complete with maps of the film lot," he stated as he threw each one out to the contestants. "Find the alien eggs. But be careful. Cause today, you're all on Chef's menu."

Chef gave out a sinister chuckle.

* * *

The GPS devices led everyone into a building to the western end of the film lot. It was very cold, very dark, and very gloomy. Steel metal made every inch on what they saw. Somewhere in here they would find the alien eggs they were to bring back to the Craft Service Tent, or for this occasion home base.

"Hey, follow me!" Izzy proclaimed. "I know aliens. Uh-huh. I've been abducted loads of times. There's a tracking device in my neck. See?" She pointed to a specific spot on the back of her neck.

"Does it hurt?" Harold asked curiously.

"Only when I hiccup," Izzy answered. She then hiccuped, resulting in her receiving a minor shock. "Ow." Seeing this worried some of the others. Concerned that she might actually be telling the truth.

"Can you feel that?" LeShawna asked. "It's like there's somethin' in there cold as ice. With no soul."

* * *

Unbeknownst to everyone, their handsome host was in the editing room. Sitting back in a relaxed position and watching their every move on numerous monitors. "Thanks," Chris laughed. Every word he said could not be heard by the others in the building. He then leaned forward and pressed a button. "Now take that!"

* * *

Quite suddenly, cold smoke was sprayed upon the teenagers. Many reacted by flinching in terror. Others gasped or screamed. Harold, on the other hand, immediately jumped into LeShawna's arms. When the sense of danger had passed, the two looked at one another. Harold smiled bashfully. LeShawna merely glared at him.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

LeShawna - "I've already told that skinny lil' tadpole that things between us aren't meant to be. Guess he can't get over the lusciousness that is LeShawna."

Harold - "I'm pretty sure LeShawna isn't over me yet. I see the way she looks at me. Like she's unpantsing me with her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes. Like chocolate almon-"

* * *

"How come we're the only dots on the screen?" Heather complained. Everyone had proceeded onward toward their destination. During which, Heather started tapping on the monitor of the GPS device she held. "Where's Chef?"

"How did you get in our group?" Justin asked curiously.

"There are no groups yet," Heather noted. "Plus, there's only one way we can go."

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Beth - /_Sits in the chair, Lindsay stands next to her._/ "Even though Heather can be really mean, that doesn't mean we should be mean back, right. Buddha says, 'You can lead a sheep to water, but you can't make it nice.'"  
Lindsay - "That is so deep!"

* * *

The teenagers came to a halt upon hearing strange noises. They could not quite make out what it was exactly that they heard. All that they knew was that it was barely audible and it sounded rather squishy.

"Shhh..." Gwen whispered.

As if on cue, Owen let out a rather impressive fart. "Ah, yes!" he cheered in relief. "First one! Smell it!" He chuckled with joy. Until he saw the faces of practically everyone else glaring at him. "Sorry."

The strange sound was still being heard. So it was obviously not coming from Owen.

"What is that?" Trent asked.

After a moment, everyone turned to Beth. Most recalled that she used to make similar quiet sounds back on the island. She looked back at them with a confused brow raised. Then she realized why and showed off her teeth.

"Ever since I got my braces off, I don't make that sound any more," Beth explained.

LeShawna sighed with frustration and looked up to where she figured a camera was. "Chris?" she demanded. "Is that you?"

* * *

"I get blamed for everything," Chris muttered with a shrug from the editing room.

* * *

"It must be Chef," Duncan stated. He then formed a determined grin, cracked his knuckles, and chuckled. "Do you wanna run? Or do you wanna kick some alien butt?"

"Let's kick some alien butt!" Gwen responded with a determined grin of her own.

"Ahem..." Trent coughed.

Gwen looked over to see her boyfriend his with arms crossed and tapping his right foot lightly. She smiled and laughed lightly. "Trent, any thoughts?" she asked.

"You have to ask?" Trent chuckled in response. "Kick some alien butt, of course." Gwen nodded her head approvingly. Duncan, on the other hand, merely rolled his eyes.

"So..." Harold began to say, looking around at everyone else. "Who wants to go first?"

"Uh-uh, please, please," LeShawna replied, patting Harold on the shoulder and shaking her head. "After you."

"After you," DJ said to Izzy and Owen. "I insist."

"Don't worry, Izzy," Owen proclaimed. "I'll protect you." He tried to wrap his arm around the crazy redhead. Instead, he found himself getting flipped over and slammed onto the ground by said crazy redhead.

"Ahem," Izzy stated. "It's 'Kaleidoscope'. 'E-Scope' for short."

"Yes sir, 'E-Scope' sir!" Owen saluted.

"Okay!" DJ stated with a deep breath. "Let's do this!" Just before he could display any sort of sudden bravado, he frantically turned toward where he thought a camera was. "Mama, if yer listenin' to this, you can have my limited edition Raptors cards! They're worth some serious coin!" Most of the others face palmed themselves after witnessing this.

"I didn't suffer through eight years of braces, headgears, saliva spittle, and the ridicule of my parents so I could hide from life!" Beth proclaimed as she marched past everyone.

"You go girl!" LeShawna cheered.

"Watch out, Alien Chef!" Beth cried. "'Cause here comes Beth!" She turned the corner, ready to throw herself into action. Then she came to a stop and looked rather surprised. "Oh..." She took her attention away just long enough to inform the others what the source of the noise actually was. "It's just Bridgette and Geoff!"

Confused, the others looked over to see for themselves. Sure enough, they found the surfer girl and the party dude engage in a seemingly never ending game of tonsil hockey. The wet kissing and moaning that emitted from their mouths were the result of the strange sounds everyone had heard.

"Geez," Duncan groaned. "Don't you two ever get sick of sucking face?"

There was no response. In fact, it appeared that they were oblivious to the fact that someone was speaking to them. They were too busy making out to even pay attention to their surroundings.

"I'm thinking that's a no," Owen said, replying to Duncan's question.

"I dunno about y'all, but I'm wondering how they got so far in front of us," DJ stated. Some of the others began murmuring to themselves, thinking aloud about the same thing themselves.

"I didn't even know they had passed us, actually," Harold noted, scratching his head.

"Enough messing around," Gwen announced in a manner that even to somehow manage to capture the attention of the kissing couple. "We've got alien eggs to capture."

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Gwen - "I wasn't worried about Chef, alien costume or not. I mean, I did place second last season. I think I have a very good idea of what I'm doing."

* * *

Gwen took one good look at the group. Then she looked at her GPS device. A realization dawned on her and she sighed. "Good thing we're all lined up in a row, huh?" she pointed out sarcastically.

"Sh'yeah," Trent said after looking at his GPS device. "Ready for Chef to pick us off one at a time."

"We've really gotta work on our strategizing," Gwen muttered.

"**DANGER!**" a computer voice sounded. It was followed by red warning lights flashing on and off and emergency bells whistling. "**DANGER! DANGER!**" It did not take long for most of the group to panic.

"Let's get out of here!" Heather cried.

"Which way do we go?" Justin asked.

"North is nice, but east is least," Lindsay started blurting out aloud. "West is best!"

"Can't argue with that," LeShawna said with a shrug. "Wouldn't even know how to." Before anything else could be said, Lindsay led Justin, LeShawna, and Beth down a ramp through the western path visible.

Remaining calm, Gwen took another look at her GPS device. "Map says the boiler room is east of here," she noted.

"Alien eggs are always in the boiler room," Duncan pointed out proudly.

"Why is that?" Trent asked curiously.

"Most movies make aliens out to be similar to warm blooded mammals," Gwen answered. "If they were cold blooded, we would be knee deep in alien eggs."

* * *

"And that would've been too easy for you freaks," Chris noted aloud from the editing room.

* * *

Gwen, Duncan, Trent, and DJ started making their way toward the eastern path. Bridgette and Geoff began to follow when they were stopped rather suddenly by the punk.

"Where do you think you're going?" Duncan asked.

"With you," Bridgette answered. "To the boiler room."

"Whew," DJ sighed in relief. "That's great, y'all. The more, the merrier."

"Sorry," Duncan said, shaking his head. "But the lovebirds are on their own." Hearing this caused the surfer girl and the party dude to gasp in horror.

"Dude, that's harsh," Geoff said.

"In any alien flick, the kissing couple's always the first to go," Duncan stated.

"True," Gwen said. "But I seem to recall alien survival rule number thirteen. If you need to complete a particular objective before evacuating, it's ideal to be in a large group than in a small one. Six is better than four."

"They're gonna slow us down, doing nothing but suck face like they've been doing all day," Duncan attempted to reason.

"They managed to get ahead of us when we weren't looking," Trent noted.

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with them around then without them, man," DJ said.

Duncan looked in disbelief at the others. DJ appeared rather adamant that Bridgette and Geoff were included. Trent did not seem to mind the idea. Gwen merely crossed her arms over her chest and raised a brow at him. The punk sighed in defeat. "Fine," he muttered. "Let them tag along." He then turned to Bridgette and Geoff. "Just don't be sucking any more face, alright?"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Duncan - "Look, at the end of the day, they're my competition. If they don't wanna play the game, then they're just getting in the way, I'd say. There's no way Romeo and Juliet are going to ruin my chances at a million big ones. Uh-uh."

Geoff - "Duncan's a cool dude and all. But what does he have against me and Bridge, man? It's not like our making out is getting in his way or something, right?"

Bridgette - "At this point, I'm not all that surprised that Duncan dislikes my relationship with Geoff. This is the same guy who convinced my Schmoopy-Boo to vote me off the island. However, I think all of his vent-up frustration really steams from the fact that he doesn't have Courtney around to make out with."

* * *

Without realizing it, Harold, Heather, Izzy, and Owen found themselves alone in their own little group. Moving in a direction that was randomly selected. Thereby leaving them ahead toward who knew where. A fact that made Owen whimper.

"Everyone, snap out of it!" Heather stated, snapping her fingers for effect. "If we don't play it together, we are going to lose this challenge. Now who is with me?"

In-spite of the location they were in, cricket sounds were heard for a brief period.

"Uh..." Owen uttered. "It's hard to say. Um... Does being 'with you' imply some sort of alliance?"

"'Cause we don't like you," Izzy noted.

Heather was about to say something nasty in retort. She thought better of it and instead chose her words more carefully. "Okay, okay," she began to say in response. "Forget being with me. Who's willing to walk beside me, in mutual pursuit of our goals with no commitment of any kind?"

"I can agree to that," Owen answered. Izzy nodded in agreement.

"Count me in," Harold added.

Unbeknownst to Harold, Chef slowly descended from the ceiling. He was about to make his move when the rope he was hanging from snapped rather suddenly and he fell to the ground. None the wiser, Harold did not bother to look around as he reacted to something that was clearly behind him.

"Did any one else hear that?" Harold asked.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Harold - "I may not be the best looking guy. Or the best dressed. Or the most buff. But I get my butt kicked a lot. So my senses are totally heightened. I can sense when something's coming. Nothing gets by me."

* * *

Seeing that the others had their eyes shot wide open in horror, Harold positioned himself to be ready fro an attack. Unfortunately, he did not have the sense to notice that they were all staring behind him. It wasn't until he felt something tap his shoulders that he finally turned and came face to face with a giant man in a green alien suit.

"Say hello to eternity," Chef chuckled. He then pulled the trigger.

The impact of the green paintball pellet sent Harold flying a good few feet, past the others, until he finally crashed onto the floor. "I'm hit, I'm hit!" he screamed.

Owen looked at the other in fear until he heard something. It was accompanied by a particular feeling. One that was in his stomach. And the sound he had heard was one that usually came as a warning. On this occasion, he found it to be relief.

"Ah, it's time!" Owen announced. He then immediately ran over to Chef. "Take me out, I beg you! It's an emergency!" Chef glared at the husky boy for a moment before obliging and shooting him in the stomach. "Oh, thank you! Ha-ho! Thank you!" Owen grabbed Chef's hand to shake it and then immediately began running past the others. "Make way! Coming through!"

Every step he made in running, he let out a series of farts. Each one also releasing green mist in his wake. Izzy and Heather jumped to one side to avoid getting in the way. Harold, however, had been lying on the floor. And when Owen past him, the stench was left behind for the fallen nerd to get more than a good whiff.

"Help!" Harold cried. "I'm choking and I can't get up!"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Owen - /_Looks relieved._/ "Aww, man. I didn't think I was gonna make it!" /_Chuckles._/ "But these bowels never let me down. Great job, guys!" /_Farts and chuckles in embarrassment._/ "Oh. I think there's more. Coming through!" /_Swiftly exits the confessional while stage-hand sprays air freshener._/

* * *

Heather and Izzy watched as Chef slowly began to approach them, letting out a sinister chuckle along the way. With a sense of determination, Heather immediately grabbed Izzy shoulders and held her in front as a shield.

"I am not going down without a fight, you glorified dung-beetle!" Heather proclaimed. "... Lizard! ... Whatever!" Chef merely smirked. However, neither one could of guessed what Izzy would do. Then again, this was Izzy they were involved with.

"One of us... isn't getting out of here... clean," Izzy laughed. Without warning, which whipped out a paintball gun of her own and aimed it at Chef. The sight catching Heather completely by surprise, resulting in her running off immediately.

"Ya call that a paint-ball gun?" Chef questioned. He threw his paintball gun to one side and made a dramatic backflip. As he landed, he had withdrawn an even bigger paintball gun. One that looked like a machine gun. "This is a paint-ball gun!"

"Ha-ha, fun!" Izzy cheered. She threw her paintball gun to one side, reached behind, and pulled out another one that was very much like the one Chef had. "I love this game!"

Heather watched all of this with a mixture of fear and confusion. "Okay..." she managed to utter, darting her eyes in various directions. "I'll just let you two have at it." She backed away before making a full sprinting get away.

"If I can handle hand-to-paw combat with a polar bear, ha-ha, I can handle a bald, emotionally withdrawn cook in a Halloween costume!" Izzy stated.

"Who you callin' a cook?" Chef questioned.

The two immediately began firing upon one another. Engaged in an epic shootout. Chef fired multiple shots that Izzy managed to avoid with a backflip. Izzy would return fire, with pellets that Chef barely managed to dodge. They continued to fire until Chef managed to finally hit the gun out of Izzy's hands. He followed by nailing her in the chest. She was sent flying to the floor and did not move for a short time afterward.

"Uh-oh," Chef uttered. "Not again!"

Chef immediately ran over to Izzy. The crazy redhead looked to be dead. At least, until she made a goofy face. This followed by blowing a raspberry at him and cackling before getting to her feet.

"I thought you were dead," Chef stated in relief.

"Yeah, I get that a lot," Izzy laughed.

* * *

"What was that?" Chris complained. "Where are the guts? The gore! I'll fix it!" Chris reached down and replaced his beret by putting on a camo military cap. He looked at himself in a hand-held mirror and admired the reflection that he was seeing. "I really should wear camo more often."

* * *

Believing that she had managed to get as far away as possible from Chef, Heather slowed her pace and began nervously searching for the alien eggs. The quiet atmosphere, combined with how cold it was, sent chills up and down her spine. The only sounds she could hear were her footsteps and the occasional drops of water escaping from a faucet. Heather turned a corner and found herself encountering that last thing she wanted to encounter.

Screaming, Heather immediately bolted away from Chef. However, the big man was giving chase. And he was armed. "This is for last season when you put laxatives in my brownies!" he hollered. "The only thing that should give people the runs is my undercooked meat!" He fired, nailing Heather square in the back.

The impact of the hit was enough to launch her wig to fly off of her head and land on the floor. A floor that had holes. Holes that were just open enough for a wig to slip down. Which Heather immediately recognized was starting to happen.

"My wig!" Heather screamed in horror. She threw herself as quickly as she could to grab her wig. But it was too late. The wig fell through the hole. Never to be seen again. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" Heather stood up and was about to cry when she gasped. She remembered that she was on a reality show. And the cameras were rolling. Looking over to where she thought a camera was, she threw her arms out in a desperate attempt to cover the view of the lens. "Don't look at me!"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Heather - "Ever since my head was shaved last season, my hair is growing in all patchy and uneven. I have tried everything! Lotions, lasers, traditional Burmese medicine." /_Drinks Burmese medicine in disgust, gags in disgust._/ "BAH! Loser shaman!" /_Throws away mug in disgust._/

* * *

As quietly as possible, Beth, Justin, LeShawna, and Lindsay walked in the direction suggested by Lindsay. All seemed to be going smooth. Or rather as smooth as possible given that they were being hunted by a large man in a stupid alien costume and were in a very cold and damp environment that sent shivers up and down their spines. But smooth nonetheless. Until they found themselves coming to a dead end.

"Um... how did we get here?" Lindsay asked, scratching her head as she examined her GPS device.

"Ah-heh," Justin began to say sarcastically. "If we knew, we wouldn't be lost."

"You are so smart, Justin," Lindsay cooed. The sarcasm having flown completely over her head. "And gorgeous!"

"What a knock-out!" LeShawna mused along.

"Totally gorgeous!" Beth swooned as well.

A creaking sound caught their attention. They watched in horror as a door suddenly slammed down from behind them. Trapping them in a contained space with no chance of escape.

"I hate to be the barer of big bad alien news, but I think this may be a trap," LeShawna stated.

Instinctively, all three girls immediately clung onto Justin.

* * *

"We gotta hire an effects crew," Chef mumbled to the camera as he attached a hose into an open faucet. Once they were tightly fastened, he turned the handle. Chuckling in a sinister manner.

* * *

Without warning, the sprinkler system above activates. But it's not water that was raining down upon Beth, Justin, LeShawna, and Lindsay. It was green slime. The girls screamed in horror at being drenched in the sticky substance until the down pour finally comes to a stop. That was when the whining began.

"Gross!" Beth cried.

"Grodie!" Lindsay added.

"Ooo..." Justin moaned, rubbing the slime upon his chest. "Feels so good." This did not go unnoticed by the girls. All three immediately beginning to fawn over him in love-struck admiration.

"Looks even better!" Beth proclaimed in enchantment.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Beth - "You know what, models are people too! We stare at them, but they've got feelings. just like the rest of us. They've got hopes and dreams." /_Gets all girly._/ "My dream is to marry Justin! My mom says if I concentrate really hard, one day all of my dreams will come true!"

* * *

Opening the door slowly, Trent was the first to peek into the room. He was followed by DJ, Duncan, and Gwen. Then Bridgette and Geoff. They had a good look around to find that there was no danger. For now. What they did find was a room that was warm as a result of a furnace being used. In a lower platform below the furnace was a large collection of what appeared to be alien eggs. The six slipped into the room and closed the door shut before examining the eggs below.

"Wow," Trent said with a whistle. "I gotta admit. They look so real."

"Woo-hoo!" DJ cheered. "We won! Yeah!"

"Not so fast, big guy," Duncan said. "We still have to get the eggs to home base."

Upon hearing this, DJ was crestfallen. Then their GPS devices began to beep rapidly. They looked to see that an unidentified dot was within range. And it was heading in their direction.

"Quick," Gwen stated. "Lower me down."

Trent nodded and grabbed hold of the goth girl's waist as he lowered her upside down. Bridgette offered to join up and Geoff was more than willing to help his surfer girl.

"I gotcha, babe," Geoff said as he lowered her upside down.

The girls slowly descended until they were within arm's reach of the eggs. Gwen was the first to make a grab at one of them. Carefully, she picked one up. Until it suddenly burst at the pressure of her apparently tight grip. She fortunately did not have so much as a drop spill onto her.

"Ever heard of plastic props?" Gwen questioned aloud.

Gwen and Bridgette went about grabbing one egg for everyone. Trent had pulled Gwen up and Bridgette had just gotten hold of the last egg when they heard a high-pitched squeal. They all looked over to see that DJ had been hit with a paintball, dropping his egg to crash onto the ground and falling to his knees. Knowing full well what happened and not wanting to see for themselves that Chef was upon them, Duncan, Gwen, and Trent immediately made a run for it.

"Save yourselves!" DJ cried.

"Geoff!" Bridgette cried.

Geoff immediately pulled Bridgette up as quickly as he could. They scooped up their eggs and immediately ran in the direction they thought they saw the others go. They had turned a few corners when a door suddenly slammed before them.

"No, no, no!" Geoff yelled, banging on the door with all his might. "We're trapped!"

"Help!" Bridgette screamed. "Gwen! Trent! Duncan!"

They stopped and froze in silence when they started hearing footsteps approaching. Both dropped their eggs, not caring any more about them, and threw themselves into each other's arms.

"This is it, baby," Geoff whimpered. "Better make it good."

"That is the most romantic thing I have ever heard," Bridgette said in awe.

The two immediately begin to make out, no longer caring about the danger that approached. Chef turned the corner and appeared before them. He aimed his gun at them, but then stopped. He looked on at the making out with a rather slight sense of admiration as he lowered his weapon.

"I once knew a love like that," Chef muttered.

Then he turned his game face back on, aimed, and fired.

* * *

Duncan, Gwen, and Trent pushed their way out of the last door and were making a mad dash away through the film lot. Alien eggs in tow. They had just gotten several yards when they suddenly heard the sound of a helicopter. The stopped and looked up to see just exactly that flying overhead. Armed with bombs.

"Attention, civilians!" Chris announced through a megaphone from the helicopter. "The military is here to protect you now! Unfortunately, we can't let you leave with any alien eggs!"

"But we're supposed to take the alien eggs!" Trent responded is frustration. "That's what you said!"

"Right!" Chris stated. "I did!"

"Should have seen it coming," Gwen cursed under her breath. "Military and government arrive only so they can cover up the whole thing with no evidence and no survivors."

"Okay, when this is all over, we need to watch movies together," Trent stated. Gwen blushed slightly at hearing this.

A crash from behind caught their attention. They looked over to see a snickering Chef appear, cocking his paintball gun. He had just begun to move toward them when a whistling sound was heard. Duncan looked up to find the source. A chuckling Chris and released the bombs and was dropping them onto everyone below.

"Incoming!" Duncan yelled.

Everyone immediately jumped in whichever direction instinct led them to. The bombs exploded on impact, resulting in a giant mass of slime covering everything within a mile radius. All while Chris laughed gleefully at the mess he made.

"Woo!" Chris chuckled. "Glad I don't have to clean that up."

Gwen and Trent emerged from behind a pair of barrels they had managed to jump to. They looked at themselves to find that they were free of any drop of slime. Then they looked over to see that Duncan has been covered from head to toe, having unable to jump into someplace to hide behind.

"Does this mean I'm out?" Duncan asked as he got up from the ground.

"Too bad, so sad," Gwen laughed. "More money for me."

"Ooo, down for the count," Duncan responded sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Trent - "Duncan is always acting like such a touch guy. 'Ooo, you got a Mohawk.' 'Oh, you're so tough, bud.' Yeah, hairspray's really manly. I love seeing Gwen stick it to Duncan. She's so awesome, I'd do anything for her."

* * *

Gwen continued laughing until she gasped in sudden horror. "Oh no!" she cried. "Our alien eggs!"

The three looked around, realizing that the alien eggs had been dropped when they all jumped about in panic. Duncan managed to spy the location of one of the eggs. Resting a top a plank of wood that was upon a slime covered and unconscious Chef.

"I'm on it!" Duncan announced. But before he could even show the others where he found the egg, Trent made an immediate dash past him and towards the direction.

"Dude, you're out," Trent pointed out. "Which means I'm on it."

Instinctively, Gwen placed a hand over her chest. Where her necklace hung over. Which she suddenly discovered was not there. "My necklace!" she gasped. "It's gone!"

Trent heard this and immediately came to a stop. As he was turning to face Gwen, he caught sight of the necklace. It was slowly beginning to slip into a drainage. He then heard the grunting sound of Chef, catching sight of the big man beginning to stir. Which in turn moved the plank the alien egg was on. Any more movement and the egg will sure crash onto the ground. But the necklace would sure fall into the drainage at any second. Costing Gwen her prized possession.

Gwen gasped in horror when she saw the necklace fall right into the drainage. Only for a second later Trent reach in and grab it just in the nick of time.

"Gotcha!" Trent proclaimed to a smiling Gwen.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Gwen - "I know this is going to sound really girly, but I was seriously touched when Trent chose my necklace over the egg. Most guys would've gone for the win."

* * *

"Personally, I would've picked the win," Duncan muttered to Trent as he watched the other pass by to give Gwen her necklace.

They all then watched as Chef began to push himself off of the ground. Doing so caused the plank to tip the alien egg. It dropped and crashed onto Chef's head, covering him some more in the sticky green slime. He merely groaned at his misfortune.

"Sorry about losing the egg," Trent stated as he gave Gwen her necklace back.

"Thanks for saving my necklace," Gwen said. The two gazed into each other's eyes for a moment. Then Gwen suddenly placed the necklace around his neck with a smile. "I want you to have it. For luck. It suits you."

"Girl," Duncan coughed. He received a stern glare from Trent in response.

"You three gave it a valiant effort," Chris announced. The three contestants looked up to see him descending down upon them with a parachute. After his feet touched the ground, he started laughing. "But you're still losers! Guess we'll have to do this all over again from the very beginning."

The three started to groan in disbelief. But then something caught Trent's eyes. He squinted for a bit to make sure what he saw was real. Satisfied, he smiled and immediately began running for it.

"Not so fast, Chris," Trent said. "Looks like my good luck charm is working already." He reached down near where Chef was sitting and picked up two alien eggs. Leaving Chris in a bit of shock and Gwen in a state of joy. "Gwen, meet you at home base!" He immediately began running toward her, just avoiding getting swiped at by Chef.

"I'll get you next time!" Chef threatened with a growl.

"Can't you do anything right?" Chris questioned as he walked over to the big man.

"Where's my money?" Chef demanded in response. "Hmmm? Give me my money!"

"Talking to the wrong person, dude," Chris stated, examining his nails in a nonchalant manner. "It's the producers you gotta ask. Oh, but you won't get to see them until after the show is over. Tough break, man."

Chef growled some more.

* * *

Still drenched in slime, the remaining contestants waited in anticipation to see if one of the others had completed the challenge. Well, everyone except Bridgette and Geoff. They were in the middle of a game of tonsil hockey. They then saw Gwen and Trent arrive. Panting as they slowed their run down to a walk and each holding an alien egg. They also saw Chris and Duncan approach from behind. Duncan covered in slime.

"We have our two winners!" Chris announced. "Our only two winners! The rest of you really stink!" He gleefully ignored the glares he was receiving from everyone else. Rather those who were paying attention. "Well done, Gwen and Trent. You two successfully completed the challenge. For your reward, I bare both good news and bad news. The good news is that you will both be immune from elimination for an indefinite period of time."

Everyone gasped. Even Bridgette and Geoff managed to stop kissing and look over in shock. Gwen and Trent looked at one another and smiled. Everyone else looked flabbergasted.

"They're immune for an indefinite period?" Heather shrieked in rage. "What the hell? You're giving them a free pass to the finals because they won some stupid challenge!"

"Don't you think that's a little unfair to the rest of us?" Beth questioned in a whimpering tone.

"Maybe," Chris replied. "But now I get to reveal the bad news. I seem to recall telling you kiddies that the winners of this challenge would be picking teams. They'll be doing more than that. They're the captains of the individual teams. Which means Gwen and Trent will be competing against each other this season."

Everyone gasped again. Only this time, it was in horror. Gwen and Trent were very much shocked while most everyone else could not believe what they had just heard. Though Heather seemed rather amused at the sudden turn of events.

"What?" Trent cried. "Dude, you can't be serious!"

"Bet you didn't see that one coming," Chris chuckled. "It'll be Team Trent versus Team Gwen. Isn't that awesome?"

Everyone slowly turned their attention to Gwen. She had not said a word when the revelation was made. She trembled slightly until a spark of rage appeared upon her face. With great fury, she smashed the alien egg over Chris' head and then stormed off. Trent watched Gwen leave for a moment before he set his alien egg and quickly followed her.

"Well..." Chris mused, seemingly unphased by what just happened. "That went better than I expected. So any way, you guys have a good night sleep tonight. Because you're all waking up bright and early tomorrow morning at four on the dot."

* * *

Trent looked about the area, looking for Gwen. He considered calling out to her until he spotted her sitting near a low cliff. It gave off a rather neat view of the film lot so that the rest of the cast could just exit their trailers and look out to see all that was happening. It was also giving off a rather nice view of the sun setting. Only he knew that Gwen was far from a pleasant mood to take in what she was looking at. With a sigh, Trent walked over to his goth girlfriend.

"Gwen?" he asked.

"Don't ask the question," she immediately grumbled.

"I won't," he responded gently, throwing his hands up lightly as if he were defending himself. "I just wanted to know if you minded me sitting with you."

"Oh," Gwen nearly cried, as though she had just realized Trent was speaking to her. This also shifted her mood a bit, going from angry to embarrassed. "Oh, no. Go right ahead."

"Thanks," Trent said, sitting himself down next to her.

There was nothing but silence for a moment. Trent admiring the view of the sunset while stealing glances at the goth girl next to him. Gwen sheepishly looking down while on a occasion having the courage to look over at the music man next to her. This went on for some time before some one finally broke the silence.

"You really aren't gonna ask that question, aren't you," Gwen asked.

"Not unless you want me to," Trent replied.

Gwen looked him. He could see that there was a sense of sorrow in her eyes. She then let out a heavy sigh. "I feel so, so stupid," she uttered. "I let a million dollars get the best of my judgment. Now I'm here having to endure this crap all over again. This show, that man, Heather. Now..." She paused, taking in quick, yet deep breaths. He could see that she was breakdown and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. "Now I have to compete against you and they're gonna rub it in our faces the whole time." What happened only once before happened again. Gwen immediately buried her face in Trent's chest and let everything out. "I don't know how much more of this I can take, Trent."

Trent pulled Gwen in for a tight, yet gentle embrace. He said nothing, not really sure how to even calm her down when he himself felt upset at what was going to happen. The fun they thought they might have taken away completely with the inevitable prospects of pain, suffering, and humiliation. All he could do was hold her for as long as they could. Uncertainty setting in on what would take place over the course of the next several weeks.

* * *

_(Narrated by Chris McLean)_

Who will Gwen and Trent pick for their teams?

Will Izzy answer to her actual name?

Will Owen finally get some lunch?

_(Owen - "Thank you!")_

Tune in next time for another exciting episode of...

_TOTAL... DRAMA... ACTION!_

* * *

So, here we go. My version of TDA as how I would have liked to have seen it. Notable changes:

- The whole captains idea in the original show I liked. Then they both end up getting the boot a few episodes in. Kills the concept, don't you think? So it seemed natural to me that the captains get immunity until, at the very least, the merger.

- No elimination in this round, so Bridgette and Geoff last longer in the game. For one, I'd have imagine that Heather would've been eliminated since this was an opportunity for everyone to do so given how much they hate her guts. For another, the way the show played out made me all the more curious to see how these guys would've competed.

I'm gonna be rather slow updating this one since I got the others stories, work, and art going on. But keep your eyes open because I'll post when you least expect it.

**AND SEND IN THE REVIEWS!**

**Next Up:** Riot On Set


	2. Riot On Set

**Total Drama Action Redux**

a _Total Drama_ fan fiction story

by Lord Akiyama

* * *

**Author's Note:** This is an alternate universe story based around my idea of how the series would have gone. It begins from the episode _Alien Resurr-eggtion_ onward. Some elements are the same as in the show, but the rest is taken in a different direction.

_Total Drama_ and its characters are copyright © of Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network. This story was created purely out of sheer enjoyment so please don't sue. Or throw me off a thousand-foot high cliff into a shark-infested lake. That would so smarts.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

Riot On Set

* * *

_(Narrated by Chris McLean)_

Last time on Total Drama Action...

Fourteen teenagers. One spooky film lot. And a whole buncha alien eggs!

In a world where an army chef wore... an alien costume... only the strong could survive. Everybody else... are just a buncha losers. Like Harold and LeShawna. LeShawna has seemingly joined Beth and Lindsay in fawning over the incredible man-candy that is Justin. But poor Harold hasn't given up in his pathetic quest to get back together with his so-called Chocolate Almond. Dude's about as nuts as Izzy, who engaged in a spectacular shoot-out with Chef before getting taken down.

Meanwhile, Owen and Heather are having some very personal problems. Having eaten all those fake food props in the last challenge has made Owen suffer from some serious bowl issues. Like we needed to know that. And during the challenge, Heather lost her precious wig. Leaving her to have to continue onward as the bald freak that she is. I love it!

Bridgette and Geoff just can't seem to quit sucking face. Even in the middle of the challenge. Which is starting to get on the nerves of the poor lovelorn Duncan. He won't admit it, but he badly misses a certain C.I.T. In the meantime, he figured himself to have the challenge in the bag given his knowledge of alien horror movies. Didn't quite turn out that way when, just as he was on the verge of victory, a bomb was dropped on him. Literally. By me!

Finally, two lovers shared a heroic victory. But no! They'll be forced to endure a tragic separation. That's because, while Gwen and Trent will have immunity for an indefinite period, they will have to compete as captains of opposing teams. Shocker!

This week... we're gonna bring the pain! Heh-ha! ... Well... if I have any thing to say about it. And I do, by the way.

So brace yourself for some deliciously painful...

_TOTAL... DRAMA... ACTION!_

_(Cue Theme Song)_

* * *

There was still time before dawn would rise from over the horizon. The contestants were fast asleep in their beds in their trailers. Duncan wearing headphones, heavy metal music blaring. Owen snoring through a sock that was most like placed over his mouth by the others. Justin keeping his good looks in check with facial cream applied. Over in the girls' trailer, all were deep into their beauty sleep. This was especially so for Izzy, who apparently was dreaming about being a dog. It was a true moment of peace.

One that was interrupted by the deafening sound of a bullhorn being blown. Everyone jumped out of their beds in fear that something was going to happen. Then an all too familiar chuckle was heard being spoken through a megaphone.

"All crew on set!" Chris announced. "Call time is four A-M!" The handsome host kissed the megaphone that he had in hand and looked over to the camera with a smug face. "I love this thing."

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Beth - "At first, I thought he was talking to the crew crew. Not us. I was really hoping they'd replace 'Chris The Creep' with a nicer host this time around. Is that mean?" /_Gasps._/ "Sorry!"

Chris - /_Raises curious brow._/ "'Chris The Creep?' Is that supposed to be an insult? Well, you know what? It is. I work very hard to be treated and regarded as the jerk that I am. I demand to be labeled with better insulting names! Shame on you kids."

* * *

Tired and far from fully charged, the contestants shuffled their way out of the trailers and onto the film lot. It was only by a miracle that they managed to get into their regular day clothes and keep it from looking all messy.

"I can't believe I'm doin' another season of this show," LeShawna muttered as she stepped out of the girls' trailer. She was followed by Izzy, the only one who apparently was energized as she danced her way onto the lot.

"This continuing sadistic wake-up call is messing with the natural rhythms of my body clock," Harold noted aloud as he exited the boy's trailer. "My mojo will be destroyed!" For his troubles, he received a rough shoulder bump from Duncan. The punk was clearly in no mood to deal with any one or any thing.

The contestants lined up by gender before Chris. The handsome host stood there, waiting. He then began to tap his right foot on the ground a couple times. It was becoming quite apparent that something was off.

"It's two minutes past four," Chris stated. "Why aren't our two captains out and about?"

The contestants looked confused at first. Then they started looking around. Sure enough, they came to the same conclusion. Gwen and Trent were indeed missing from the group.

"Guess they never came back to the trailers," Duncan suggested with a shrug.

"Excuse me?" LeShawna questioned, as though what the punk said was an insult.

"Some captains they turned out to be," Heather grumbled quietly.

"Like you were any better," Beth retorted. The two girls glared at one another for a short period as a result.

"Did they run away?" Owen asked with a gasp.

"Ooo, fugitives from the law," Izzy said in excitement.

"They haven't left the film lot, that much I'm sure," Chris responded. "Otherwise, they would've tripped one of our many well hidden silent alarms. There is no escape from this."

"Juvie is starting to sounding like a better place by the minute," Duncan muttered.

"Dudes, there they are!" Geoff called, pointing out in a particular direction that had everyone looking towards.

The two captains appeared onto the lot, looking very much like they had just woken up. Trent looked the most sleepy while Gwen appeared seemingly depressed. They took their places within the separated groups, glancing at each other only once.

"You slept out on the film lot?" DJ asked curiously.

"Guess we lost track of time," Trent managed to say before yawning.

"Doing what?" Duncan questioned with a smirk on his face. The response he got was a death glare shot at him by Gwen.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Gwen - /_Shoots a death glare at the camera._/ "We simply slept in each other arms. Nothing more."

Trent - "I would never take advantage of Gwen! Never!"

Chris - "Unfortunately, I can vouch for them. Was hoping they do something fun with their time alone. But no. She cried herself to sleep and he just held onto her when he slept. Boring."

* * *

"Ahem!" Chris coughed, bringing the attention back to him. "Now that everyone is here, we can begin. You're on a film set now. And you're gonna learn that show biz is not all red carpets and pool parties." He waved his finger at Owen, as if to say the statement was announced specifically toward him. "Today, you're gonna get schooled on how tough on-set production life can be." Chris began walking further into the film lot with the contests trailing behind.

"Whatever," Gwen muttered. "I can deal."

"You think so?" Bridgette asked curious.

"I once had a summer job at a petting zoo," Gwen explained.

"Aww," Lindsay cooed. "That must've been, like, so cute!"

"It's so adorable," Gwen responded sarcastically. "Everybody feeding the adorable goats their adorable cabbages. But somebody... i.e. me... had to shovel up the less adorable end of the digestive process."

"Well, speaking of number two, it's time to pick your teammates," Chris proclaimed, appearing rather suddenly before the goth girl.

"Bite me, Chris," Gwen growled.

"Temper, temper," Chris tsked. "You could have just as easily not won the last challenge, and thereby had a chance to compete with your boyfriend. But you won. So too bad."

"Jerk," Gwen scoffed.

"You know, I was feeling really nice a few seconds ago and was going to let you choose your teammates first," Chris said. "But you're being really mean this morning. So I'm gonna let Trent choose first so that he can stick it to the team you end up with."

The handsome host gleefully smirked as he walked away while Gwen shot a death glare at the back of his head. She remained so until she noticed that someone was standing next to her. She had a very good feeling that it wasn't just any one. Shifting all of her emotion from anger and frustration to depression and exhaustion in one fell swoop, she caught a glance of Trent looking at her with great concern. She sighed and hung her head.

"We're not going to get all competitive and nasty, are we?" Trent asked.

"Absolutely not," Gwen quickly answered, as if in desperation. "We learned from least season. ... Right?"

* * *

The contestants gathered outside the Craft Services Tent. Everyone, with the exception of Gwen and Trent, stood together on one side. Gwen and Trent stood across from them, on opposite sides of the handsome host.

"Okay, let's get this bloodbath started!" Chris announced, rubbing his hands together. "I wanted you to choose school yard style. You know, boy, girl, boy, girl. But somebody... i.e. Gwen... had to be all snippy. So we're just gonna run it so that Gwen has to pick the opposite sex of whichever contestant Trent picks. You're up, music man."

Trent took a deep breath and examined each of the contestants before him. His eyes then came on one person in particular. He glanced over at Gwen, wondering if there was any one in particular she was eying. Only he found her with arms crossed and staring at the ground in brooding fashion. It only left him wondering even more how she would reaction to his selection.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Trent - "I don't know why, but I still have this sense that there's something between Gwen and Duncan. I mean, they're kind of alike and they get along really well. What am I supposed to make of that?" /_Sighs._/ "So I did what I thought would be best to ease my nerves about the whole thing."

* * *

"Duncan," Trent announced. He was managed to quickly look over at Gwen without any one noticing. She made no reaction.

"What?" Duncan questioned, raising a curious brow. "You serious?"

"Hey, you made it to the final four last season," Trent explained.

Duncan merely shrugged and walked over to Trent. "Your funeral," he muttered.

"Trent picks Duncan," Chris commented with a slight chuckle. "Which means Gwen's next pick has to be a girl."

"LeShawna," Gwen said in a barely audible tone.

LeShawna walked over to Gwen with concern on her face. "You doin' okay, honey?" she asked, placing a reassuring hand on the other's shoulder. "You really moody this mornin'."

"I just want to get this over with," Gwen replied quietly.

"Back to you, Trent," Chris stated.

Trent studied the remaining contestants for a moment, tapping his chin with a finger. "Owen," he said.

"The fart machine?" Duncan questioned in an annoyed tone.

"He won last season," Trent explained as the big guy happily made his way over to their side.

"So you're picking all the guys who finished strong first?" Duncan summarized. "Who're you gonna pick next? Heather?"

"Oh God no!" Trent nearly cried as he flinched.

"I heard that!" Heather yelled. A slight smile appeared on Gwen's face as she heard all of this.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Gwen - "And that's why Trent is such a talented musician. He makes such sweet music for me to hear."

* * *

"Your turn to pick a girl, Gwen," Chris announced.

"Bridgette," Gwen uttered.

The surfer girl ran up to the goth girl and placed another reassuring hand on the other shoulder. "Cheer up, Gwen," Bridgette said. "We'll be right here with you all the way."

"Us sist'a's helpin' each other," LeShawna proclaimed. "That's how we roll."

Gwen finally looked up, if only slightly. She looked at both of the girls individually and smiled. "Thanks, guys," she said softly. "I really mean it, even if I don't look it."

"Over to you, Trent," Chris stated.

"Maybe I should pick a girl this time," Trent noted aloud as he continued to look out at the remaining contestants. "Izzy."

"Crazy girl?" Duncan questioned, getting more frustrated and annoyed with each pick his captain made. "What, because she was the next available strong chick after Gwen, Heather, and LeShawna?"

"Why not?" Trent asked with a shrug.

"Woo-hoo!" Owen cheered, arms raised in victory. "Izzy, we're on the same team!" There was sudden silence that followed and the big guy looked over that Izzy didn't even move from her spot. "Izzy?"

The redhead remained in place, looking nonchalant and whistling.

"She likes to be called 'Kaleidoscope,'" Lindsay said to Trent.

"Oh, right," Trent responded with a slight, nervous chuckle. "'E-Scope.'"

"Here!" Izzy called, hand raised. She then giggled and skipped over to her team. "Hi!"

"We're on the same team, Iz..." Owen was about to say in excitement, then stopped himself. "I mean 'Kaleidoscope!'"

"E-Scope approves," Izzy giggled with a nod. She then rubbed her hands together, looking at the three boys before her. Looking as though she was getting ready to eat them up. "Such manly men E-Scope is with. And you're the manliest of them all!" The redhead cackled as she leaped onto Owen's shoulders and perched.

"This bites," Duncan grumbled.

"Time for you to pick a guy, Gwen," Chris announced.

The goth girl finally manged to actually take a look at the remaining contestants, studying to see which one to pick. One face in particular came to mind. But she also knew that it came with some consequences. "Promise me this," Gwen said to Bridgette, nearly startling the surfer girl. "If I pick him, you two will not make out during the challenges. Got it?" Realizing what her friend was talking about, Bridgette lit up in excitement and nodded very rapidly. Gwen sighed. "Geoff."

"Alright, babe!" Geoff cheered before immediately running over to his girlfriend. Bridgette jumped, timing it just right so that Geoff would catch her before she started to drop. Not even a second passed before the two began making out.

"Didn't you just promise Gwen-" LeShawna stated to ask.

"I'll let it pass for now," Gwen interrupted, a slight giggle in her tone. "We haven't started the challenge yet."

"Should probably pick another girl..." Trent thought aloud. He examined the contestants and looked prepared to make his pick. Then he noticed that Duncan was glaring at him and shaking his head slowly.

"Don't you dare," the punk muttered. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare, Trent."

"Amongst the girls, she placed-" Trent attempted to reason.

"I don't care where she placed amongst the other girls," Duncan stated. "Don't you dare pick her."

"Dude, it's not yer call, bra," Geoff said, managing to breaking off the kiss he was sharing with Bridgette if only for a quick moment. "Just let him pick who he wants."

"Easy for you to say, you're over there!" Duncan yelled. "His picks suck! At this point, I'd rather have Heather on our team!"

"Not going to happen," Trent proclaimed sternly. "I pick Lindsay."

The blonde squealed, jumping up and down with excitement. Which in turn caused a couple of the males to follow her bounces. She then skipped over to her team, clapping her hands. During all this, Heather seethed in frustration.

"I hate you, man," Duncan grumbled at Trent.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Heather - "Don't they realize who the most valuable player here is? I mean, seriously people!"

Duncan - "Gwen's a good friend and all, but man I gotta question her taste in boyfriends. Trent's too much of a good guy for me to be around with for too long. He wants to be friends with every one and not hurt any one's feelings. Half of the people who ranked as well as they did last season got lucky, simple as that. They're not going to be of help to us. This is a competition for a million bucks. Rip out Gwen's throat! She'll do it to you, pal." /_Stares at the camera then leans back in a relaxed position._/ "Just like Courtney would to me. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

* * *

"You're up, Gwen," Chris stated.

"DJ," Gwen said after getting a good look at the remaining contestants.

"This is gonna be so cool, dude," Geoff proclaimed, giving his new teammate a high five.

"Glad to on you guy's team," DJ said after joining the group.

"Whatever you do, don't pick Harold," Duncan stated rather suddenly to Trent, startling everyone on his team as he spoke. "I swear, if you do, you will live to regret it."

"Uh, hello?" Harold cried, letting the punk know that he heard every word. Unfortunately for him, he went ignored.

"Oh, you know what would be so great?" Lindsay cheerfully suggested. "If you picked Tyler!" She was oblivious to the looks she was getting from her team. In particular, she was not aware of the face palm Duncan gave himself.

"Um... Lindsay?" Trent said in a near sheepish tone. "Tyler's not in the game any more."

"Seriously?" Lindsay asked, sounding very sad when she heard Trent's statement. Her team each nodded in response. Pouting, she hung her head. "Bummer!" After a moment, she looked up and then noticed someone whose appearance seemed to have suddenly brightened her mood. "Beth! Pick Beth!"

"I'm cool with Beth," Duncan said, getting very agitated. "Just don't pick Harold."

"Alright, alright," Trent stated, throwing her arms up in the air for a slight second. "Sheesh. Beth."

Beth cheered and clapped her hands before running over to her team. She immediately clasped hands with Lindsay and the two new Best Friends Forever began squealing with excitement. Duncan merely sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Don't wicked skills count for anything?" Harold questioned in a loud and rather angry tone. "I mean, who else here went to film camp and is fully trained as a junior cinematographer, with a thorough knowledge of lighting filters, film stock-"

"I pick Harold!" Gwen proclaimed rather suddenly. "If for no other reason than to shut him up."

"Wise choice," Harold said happily as he made his way over to his team.

"Just... stop talking, okay?" Gwen stated in a rather annoyed, yet begging tone. Harold was about to open his mouth when LeShawna immediately placed a finger over his lips to keep it shut. He looked over at her to see that she was shaking her head, telling him not to push it.

"Time for your final pick, Trent," Chris announced. "You can either pick Justin, the hunk stallion who makes all the girls go crazy, or Heather, the girl who tried to break your girlfriend's heart by kissing you right before her eyes." The handsome host ignored the glares he was getting from Heather and Gwen.

Trent found himself stuck in a bit of a predicament. He made it quite clear to everyone that he had no intention of having Heather on his team. The summarization Chris had made was reason enough. However, by not picking Heather, she was going to end up on Gwen's team. He knew that was not going to be a pleasant experience for his girlfriend. Still, it did not take him long to come up with his decision. In his heart, he felt was he making the right choice.

"Justin," Trent stated.

Lindsay and Beth began to squeal again as they about to be joined by the male model hunk. Justin made his way over to the team when the two girls immediately began clinging to him. Trent merely sighed, Duncan shook his head, and Owen looked quite excited himself. Izzy, though, glared at Justin, looking at him with suspicion.

"Which means Heather is on Gwen's team," Chris proclaimed gleefully. "I love it!"

Heather was clearly displeased with how this came about. She was more pissed that she was last than any thing, but she was just as upset who was on her team. Gwen, Bridgette, and LeShawna gave her collective glares that would burn holes all over her body, knowing first hand just how volatile the girl was. Geoff and DJ looked very concerned, having been exposed to her treachery in the past. Harold was the only one who didn't seem to have any sort of care about all of this. With a huff, Heather made her way over to her team, stomping her feet along the way.

"Remember," LeShawna whispered to Gwen. "Keep your enemies closer."

Gwen seemed a little surprised to hear this. She looked over to LeShawna, who merely nodded with a smirk. Then the goth girl got it and grinned herself. "Right," she whispered back.

"Gwen, I christen your team 'The Screaming Gaffers!'" Chris announced to Gwen and her team. He then jogged over to Trent and his team. "Trent, you're 'The Killer Grips!'"

"Grip?" Beth questioned in a worried voice. "I-I don't wanna be a grip!"

"Puh-lease!" Heather scoffed. "It's not like being called a gaffer is something to brag about. It sounds like something that has rabies."

Suddenly, there was a series of crashes and smashes that caught everyone's attention. They all looked over to see two very angry looking interns throwing equipment onto the ground, breaking them into pieces with great frustration.

"I'm sick and tired of gettin' no respect around here!" one of the interns said before walking off. The other other intern merely pushed a television off its stand before following the other. The scene left the contestants feeling rather disturbed.

"Okay, since we're running late now and don't seem to have any more... um... whatever those... two... crew... dudes... did... we better get going!" Chris stated. "You're challenge, for each team to set up a film set!"

Hearing what the challenge was made LeShawna scoff with confidence. "We'll be scarfing flapjacks by seven," she said.

"Oh will you?" Chris asked with a wicked grin. The one that made everyone groan because they knew something was up. And it was not going to be pleasant. "As location manager, I want your sets to go... there!"

The handsome host jerked his thumb over to a specific direction the contestants looked. Sure enough, there was a large, full-scale replica of the cliff from back on the island. Most everyone gasped in shock while the others simply shot death glares at Chris. LeShawna sighed and gave herself a face palm for having opened her mouth earlier.

"You just love doing this to us," Gwen grumbled.

"Yes!" Chris responded cheerfully. "Yes I do!" After chuckling, he pulled out a walkie-talkie. "Chef! Clear for traffic up there?"

At the cliff, Chef looked around. There definitely was nothing there. The big man scratched his head and shrugged.

* * *

**Screaming Gaffers**  
Gwen - Captain  
Bridgette  
DJ  
Geoff  
Harold  
Heather  
LeShawna

**Killer Grips**  
Trent - Captain  
Beth  
Duncan  
Izzy  
Justin  
Lindsay  
Owen

* * *

"Lights!" Chris announced through the megaphone. "Camera! Action!"

With a mad dash, everyone began grabbing whatever they could and starting hauling them up the cliff. Most ran in pairs or groups, doing so in the belief that it will help get the equipment up faster. For the most part, the contestants were not thinking in terms of who was on which team. They were more concerned about getting everything up the cliff.

Gwen and Trent were a few feet from one another, each with their hands full of materials. Almost suddenly, Gwen took a bad step and started to slip. Trent managed to hear her low cry and turned, concern on his face. He looked to see that Geoff happened to be in the right place at the right time to catch the goth girl.

"I gotcha," Geoff said, holding Gwen back up to her feet. "Wouldn't want to lose our fearless leader, right?"

"Thanks," Gwen muttered, feeling a little embarrassed.

Trent sighed with relief, seeing that his girlfriend was okay. He turned and was about to take a step forward when he himself suddenly tripped and fell flat on his face. He looked over and saw that his foot hand been tangled in one of the cords.

"Are you okay, Terrance," Lindsay said as she appeared rather suddenly, running up the cliff to meet him.

"Um... sure," Trent said rather sheepishly, scratching his head. "It's Trent, by the way."

"People, this is crazy inefficient," Heather complained as she made her way down the cliff. She commented at Gwen and LeShawna in particular, who just happened to be passing her by. "I say we organize relay style and pass the equipment up."

Gwen and LeShawna looked at each other than at Heather. "If you say it, we're not doing it," Gwen scoffed before she joined LeShawna in walking away and continuing with the challenge at their own pace.

"But it's a good idea!" Heather yelled.

"I'm totally with you," Harold said, appearing rather suddenly next to the queen bee. "Write down all your ideas and we can bring them up at the next team meeting. I'll second you. Cool?"

"Go jump in a lake, trout-lips," Heather grumbled, storming away from the nerd. Harold seemed bewildered by the response.

* * *

"C'mon, lucky necklace," Trent muttered to the necklace in hand. The one given to him by Gwen. "Papa Trent needs you."

"He-heh, wow!" Izzy cried rather suddenly as she caught up to Trent. "You're talking to jewelry?"

"Everyone talks to their lucky charms as a means of boosting their self-confidence," Trent explained, tucking the necklace back underneath his shirt and continued with the challenge. "I'm just trying to help our team win this thing."

"He-hey, that's actually a cool idea!" Izzy cheered. "You got some lucky earrings? I'd love to have a chat with them!" Trent merely looked at the redhead. He started to wonder if it was indeed a good idea to have picked her for his team.

* * *

"It's neck and neck, people!" Chris announced through the megaphone. He sat comfortably in a beach chair as each team hauled what appeared to be the last of the equipment up the cliff and ran back down. "And now for the heavy stuff!"

* * *

"How the heck are we going to get those trailers all the way up the hill?" Trent nearly cried as the Killer Grips got a good look at the one thing left needed to bring up the cliff. He could tell that the Screaming Gaffers were not fairing any better as everyone literally stopped and tried to figure out just how this was going to happen.

"I have a great idea!" Lindsay cheerfully proclaimed rather suddenly.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Lindsay - "It's so great to be free from Heather. I can totally contribute more and stuff! I have a lot of unwrapped potential, you know."

* * *

"Let's get Tyler to do it!" Lindsay stated happily. Everyone on her team let out a collective groan.

"He's not here any more!" Trent, Beth, Duncan, and Izzy cried.

"Oh, right," Lindsay pouted. She sighed and hung her head in shame. "Bummer..."

The Killer Grips each positioned themselves in their thinking stances. Then a small noise was heard. Trent raised a curious brow and looked over. It was Owen's stomach grumbling. Owen chuckled in embarrassment. But it gave the music man an idea.

"Owen!" Trent said rather loud, catching the attention of everyone on the team. He walked over to the big guy and patted his stomach. "There's a caterer at the top of the hill. Just take that trailer up there with you, and you can eat."

"Eat?" Owen repeated. His eyes lit up and he began to get all excited at the prospect that awaited him. "I love eat!" Without hesitation, he removed his belt, wrapped his around his forehead and tied it to the trailer. His whole body weight and strength alone was more than enough to pull the trailer with ease. Easy enough for him to run it up the cliff.

* * *

"Yee-haw!" Izzy cheered, riding the top of the trailer as though she were on a horse. "Go Owen! Run her home!"

"So Duncan, how do you like that?" Trent asked the punk as they ran behind the trailer. "Still think our team sucks now?"

"Yeah," Duncan responded with a slight scoff. "But we're winning, so I'm not complaining."

* * *

"Dudes, they're making this look easy!" Geoff cried. He, along with the rest of the Screaming Gaffers, felt helpless as they watched the Killer Grips on the verge of victory. "We gotta get up there!"

"C'mon, DJ!" Bridgette called. "Let's get this thing moving!"

"Oh no!" DJ fearfully responded. "Don't expect me to-" He paused slightly, noticing the shocked and disappointed faces he was receiving from his teammates. "What if the trailer slips and rolls back down the hill and possibly hurt someone? What then? I couldn't handle bein' responsible for that!"

Gwen gave herself a face palm in annoyance and frustration.

* * *

Things were going smoothly for the Killer Grips. They were half-way up the cliff when Owen suddenly stopped. The team could not figure out why, so they hurried over to see what the problem was. Once they saw for themselves the reason behind the stop, they nearly screamed and turned away. Owen's pants were falling. Feeling that his team needed him, Owen tried to continue onward. At the same time, however, he was trying to keep his pants up. Resulting in his pace being slowed considerably.

"Oh, this is just great!" Duncan complained. "Not only is his pants dropping slowing him down... but we're about to get permanently blinded because of it!" There was a sudden cheer that caught his attention. He looked over and flinched. Then he gave himself a face palm "And Izzy's not helping!"

"You don't need pants, Owen!" Izzy cried. "Just take them off and run us to the top, baby! Woo!"

* * *

"Do it, DJ!" Harold chanted. Seeing the Killer Grips slowed gave the Screaming Gaffers a chance at possibly catching up. They just need to get the ball rolling as quickly as possible. "Do it, DJ!"

"How many times do I hafta say no!" DJ stated, almost with an angry tone. He crossed his arms over his chest and stood his ground. Much to the frustration and disappointment of the rest of the team.

"You know what?" Gwen grumbled suddenly. "Screw this!" She jumped to her feet and marched over to the back of the trailer. The rest of the team watched with curious brows raised as Gwen began pushing the trailer with all her might.

"Girl, what in the world are you doin'?" LeShawna asked.

"I don't care if all I do is move it one inch!" Gwen managed to grunt as she struggled to push the trailer. "One inch is better than not moving it at all! But at least I tried, dammit!"

Most of the team sighed and looked back over to see how the Killer Grips were doing. They then suddenly heard the sound of a heavy object being moved. DJ, Geoff, Harold, and Heather looked to see that the trailer had indeed moved one inch. They looked over to see how Gwen could have possibly done that. Only they found that she wasn't alone.

"Don't even think yer gonna do this alone," LeShawna proclaimed through her own grunting as she pushed the trailer.

"It's like LeShawna said," Bridgette cried out through her struggling to push. "We're with you all the way."

"I'm with you too, my Bridgey Bear," Geoff declared rather suddenly. The party dude quickly ran over and began pushing the trailer along with the girls. His strength cause it to slowly move along.

"Aww, that's so sweet of you," Bridgette cooed through her grunting.

* * *

"Owen, Owen, he's our guy!" Beth cheered. She managed to find some pom-poms and started doing a routine for the heck of it. "If he can't do it... uh... he's... he's not our guy!"

* * *

"At this rate, we'll never catch up to them!" Heather complained. She watched as the Killer Grips were not three-fourths of the way up the cliff while they were still one-fourth. "What's the point in pushing this stupid thing any further? We lost!"

"Well, what do you know?" LeShawna asked with a grunt. "It's a win-win situation."

"What?" Heather questioned, raising a confused brow. "How is this a win-win situation?"

"Cause even if we don't win, someone from the team is gonna get voted off," LeShawna replied in a struggling voice.

"And how is that a good thing?" Heather asked. There was no immediate answer. Instead, she got looks from Gwen, Bridgette, and LeShawna. Then it finally hit Heather as her eyes shot wide open with horror. "You... wouldn't... dare!"

"After all the things you did last season, I can't wait," LeShawna managed to laugh through her grunting.

"But if we win, you can't vote me off!" Heather stated, as if realizing this fact. She immediately ran over and helped push the trailer, even if she lacked the strength to move it any faster. "We are not losing!"

"That's the way to do it," Harold cheered. He then ran up to join the others in pushing the trailer. "The more people pushing, the greater chance we have of getting it up there faster." His strength only slightly got the trailer moving faster, but it was another helping hand that the others appreciated.

DJ watched all this with a worried look on his face. His teammates were putting themselves in danger. What if they hit a rock and the trailer starts shifting its weight? What would he do then if they got run over by a runaway trailer they worked so hard to push up? Feeling guilty and then determined, the big guy jumped over to join the rest of his team and pushed the trailer with all his might. His strength alone moved the trailer so fast that the rest of the team nearly lost their balance at the sudden shift. They were just glad that they were now really catching up to the Killer Grips.

* * *

"We could be seeing a photo finish here," Chris commented aloud through the megaphone. He watched as the two teams struggled to get their trailers over the final hump. Rather, the Screaming Gaffers were doing just that. Owen was doing all the work for the Killer Grips. And in the end, it paid off by mere seconds.

"Alright, Owen!" Beth cheered in victory. "You did it!"

Trent joined the others in cheering on their win. Then he stopped and looked over at the Screaming Gaffers. They all exhaled and sighed with exhaustion, having just pushed the trailer up the cliff. Gwen looked the worse for wear, having released all her strength in pushing the damn thing from the start. She nearly collapsed, but what quickly grabbed by Bridgette and LeShawna.

"We gotcha, girl," LeShawna proclaimed. The tired goth girl looked up at the other two and smiled as best as she could before being helped back up to her feet. Then she went to find the nearest thing to sit on.

"He actually won!" Beth continued to cheer with excitement.

"Well..." Chris sheepishly, yet gleefully started to say, which caused all of the joy to stop suddenly. "Not... exactly."

"Pardon?" Beth squeaked.

"That was only the first part of the challenge," Chris announced. "Did I neglect to mention that?"

* * *

"It's time to make a movie," Chris proclaimed. The teams were separated onto different sets. Chris approached the Killer Grips, who were set up on a stage decked out like the living room of someone's grandmother. "And what we've got here is the set for a tear-jerker starring an elderly lady considering her long life."

"Boring," Duncan muttered as the handsome host walked past him to address the Screaming Gaffers, whose set looked like that of an abandoned office building with broken down wooden furniture.

"You'll be making a feature about a thug who tries to go straight, but can't resist the allure of the street," Chris stated.

"Yeah," Gwen said in a monotone voice. "It's been done."

"Hey!" Heather suddenly shouted, bringing all of the attention to her. "What about lunch? We have been working for eight hours and you are legally obligated by Union rules to give us a meal break."

"Oh yeah?" Chris asked with a wicked grin. "Who here is in the Union?" The handsome host raised his hand. None of the contestants even bothered to move an inch. "Yeah, I thought so!"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Heather - "I am hereby forming Local One of United Workers Against Chris. Who's with me? Everybody?"

* * *

"And now it's time to choose an actor to perform the scene," Chris continued. Chef appeared with two packets in hand. "Chef, give the teams their scenes." The big man walked over and gave each captain one of the packets.

"Alright," Trent said as he looked at the packet given to him. "We need an old lady."

"Oh, please!" Izzy cried rather suddenly as she ran up to Trent with her hand raised. "Let me do it! It's gotta be me! I've got an old soul! I'm, like, 87-years-old in the inside 'cause I've been reincarnated, like, a whole buncha times! Actually, I'm the reincarnation of my very own Granny Mavis!" She then leaned in closer and began to speak in a Scottish accent. "'Aye there, laddie! Ya spelled a wey bit'a haggis on yer kilt! I can tell ya of the Lochs a risin' up to the claw!'" Izzy exhaled and bowed.

"Okay, fine!" everyone else on the Killer Grips cried, freaked out by her performance.

* * *

"'Big Lucky Parmigiano,'" Gwen said as she read the label on the packet.

"A tough guy..." Bridgette thought aloud as she looked over at the rest of the team.

"We sure have our pick of the litter," Heather noted with a scoff. "Harold? He's as tough as butter." She ignored the glare she was receiving from the nerd. Though neither one were aware that LeShawna was also glaring at the queen bee.

"Don't expect DJ to be your tough guy, that's for sure," Chef chuckled.

"How can you say that?" DJ cried, tearing up before running off in an upset manner.

"That leaves Geoff," Gwen summarized.

"Cool," Geoff said with a shrug in a nonchalant voice. As the goth girl gave the party dude the packet, Bridgette began to quietly squeal with anticipation of seeing her boyfriend perform.

"Like we had much of a choice to begin with," Heather grumbled.

"Alright, set up the shop!" Chris announced. "Whoever can get Chef, Mr. Ex-Army Corporal, to show any emotion, wins the challenge." Everyone looked over to see Chef take a seat behind the playback monitor. He glanced up to see that all the contestants were looking at him. He then growled at them that sent shivers down the spines of a lot of the onlookers.

"Yeah," Gwen muttered. "We're screwed."

* * *

"Your make-up... gorgeous!" Lindsay cooed as she lightly tapped Izzy's face with powder. "And now I'm gonna make you really feel like an old lady." The redhead, who had been standing in a bent position for the last fifteen minutes, merely grumbled.

"I feel like eighty-years have already passed since they started to adjust the lighting!" Izzy stated aloud.

"Don't move!" Beth cried from the top of the set. She was clearly in charge of the lighting and wanted to get it right.

"Oh, don't worry," Izzy responded. "I can't. My legs are totally asleep!"

"Could I get that last line again?" Owen called out from behind the sound board.

Izzy glared at her hefty boyfriend for a moment before yanking the boom mic from out of Justin's hands. "_MY LEGS ARE ASLEEP!_" she screamed into the mic at the top of her lungs. Owen screamed as the increased sound volume overwhelmed his senses and sent him flying back onto the ground. The sight of which made Duncan laugh in amusement.

* * *

"Uh, guys," Geoff said, a confused brow raised as he went over his lines. "It's cool and all if you think I should do this. But I dunno if I can. I can't memorize this much. And these lines are way out of left field."

"Just say what is written and quit being such a prima donna," Heather stated as she placed a marker on the stage floor.

The party dude could see that she was in a very foul mood. Reasonable considering that LeShawna made it clear that the queen bee would be the one going home should they lose the challenge. Thus Heather was now working twice as hard to make sure the team never loses so that she won't get the boot.

"Okay, let's all just chill..." Geoff tried to begin saying calmly.

"I am chill!" Heather roared, nearly startling the party dude. "It's you who is doing all the complaining!"

"Friction between the crew and talent," Chris said aside to a nearby camera from behind the stage. He chuckled quietly with glee. "I love it! It's like a real film set."

"Stop it!" Bridgette called, getting in-between Heather and Geoff. "You're making him nervous." She watched as Heather marched off with a huff before turning to her boyfriend. "Geoff sweetie, I know you can do this. There may be a lot to remember and the lines may be a little off. But if you can nail this..." The surfer girl leaned in and whispered something in his ear. Something that made his eyes pop wide open and his lips curl into a stupid grin. "Can you do that for me, my Cutie-Patootie?"

"Absolutely, my Honey-Boo!" Geoff cheered. He then immediately buried himself into the script and walked off to prepare.

"I can't believe they've settled that so fast," Chris noted aside to the camera. "Sometimes, this business really stinks."

"Tell me you didn't promise him what I think you promised him," LeShawna said with a raised brow as the surfer girl joined her and Gwen at the sound board.

"Nah," Bridgette responded with a slight giggle. "I told him that I'll let him take my top off tonight if we win."

"Girl, you crazy," LeShawna proclaimed with a laugh.

"I'm willing to do it if it helps motivate him," Bridgette explained. "A guy will do any thing for the girl he likes. No matter how foolish or how weird it seems. If he thinks it will win her heart, he'll do whatever it takes."

"You can say that again," Gwen said.

Both Gwen and Bridgette then each let out their own loving sighs. Seconds later, they were back to work. LeShawna watched all of this and hung her head a little. Wishing she could express the same kind of feeling her friends were at the moment.

* * *

"There's seven colors on this tape roll thingy, but I don't know which one to use," Lindsay thought aloud. Oblivious that some one was waiting for her to hurry up and finish her job. "And what kind of a shape would a mark be? Like an 'M' for mark? Or..."

"My legs are starting to tingle!" Izzy complained. Her entire body started to shake uncontrollably. "I don't think I can hold much..." Before she could finish, she lot all feeling in her body and collapsed onto the floor. "Longer..." She then watched as Lindsay, who continued to express ignorance over what just happened, place down a red tape.

"Ahhh!" Beth cried. "We had the lighting just right!"

"Get back to first positions!" Trent called as he walked through the set, unaware of what had occurred moments before.

"Uh, it's been decades!" Izzy yelled in distress. "Can we just get the ball rolling on my eventual Best Actress nomination?"

* * *

"No wonder we're taking so long," Heather complained aloud as she examined her team's set in the back. "This place is a mess, guys. And you haven't-" She froze suddenly when it felt like she got caught on something. She looked down to see that some wiring had managed to wrap around her ankle. And it tightened everytime she tried to move. "Ow. What the..." She jerked her leg very hard. The strength of the pull resulting in whatever the wire was attached to to drop. Thereby pulling the wiring upward. Which in turn dragged a screaming Heather off her feet and hanging upside down. After dangling for a moment, she started to seeth. "Oh! I know you did this LeShawna! Help! I'm gonna need a little help here, people!"

"I'll help you down, m'lady," Harold announced rather suddenly.

Heather flinched in surprise when the nerd appeared. He gripped in his hand a pole with a hook at the end. He used it to loosen the wiring and free Heather. Only there was nothing to catch the screaming queen bee as she fell. Once she had crashed onto the ground, she started grunting, groaning, and growling in frustration and rage. Then she took a moment to calm herself as she got up to her feet and face her "savior."

"Thank you," Heather managed to grumble.

"Anything for m'lady," Harold replied in a courteous tone as he bowed.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Harold - "I've been working on my courting skills. Yep, I've mastered 'Girl Whispering.'"

Heather - "As annoying as hanging around Harold would be, he'll make an easy-to-persuade alliance member. And right now, 'm'lady' needs all the help she can get."

LeShawna - "You know, hangin' wit' my girls Gwen and Bridgette and all their talk about them bein' wit' their men... got me thinkin' about how I just dumped Harold wit'out givin' him a chance. After all... I still like the Sugar Baby. And I'm sure he still likes me. Hope I didn't screw things up wit' him too badly for us not to hook up again."

* * *

"And now, time for the final hair and make-up," Chris announced to both teams.

The Screaming Gaffers went through their final preparations while Geoff sat in a chair, awaiting to receive his final dab of hair and make-up. Which ended up being done by one of the last people he expected to do such a job.

"This light is just appallin'!" DJ proclaimed with an unusually stern tone. "How am I supposed to work without a proper trailer and lightin'?"

As DJ dabbed Geoff's face with powder, the party dude nervously looked to the rest of his team over what he just witnessed from the big guy. Geoff and LeShawna merely shrugged while Bridgette smiled and shyly turned her head. When he was finished, DJ grabbed the make-up kit and headed off stage. Where he was met suddenly, and rather violently, by Chef. The bigger man grabbing the other by the collar and literally through him into a seat on the nearest chair.

"That's enough!" Chef nearly yelled.

"What?" DJ asked in confusion. "My mama always told me I had a flare for applying her church make-up, so I figured-"

"We've got to toughen you up, you big ol' marshmalla!" Chef interrupted sternly, nearly scaring DJ to death.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Chef - "I've gotta admit, I see a bit of myself in DJ. But I had to develop the macho in myself without somebody like me helpin'. This is gonna be fun."

* * *

"Here's the deal," Chef stated, pacing about slowly in front of the shivering teen. "I'll help you man up and win this thing. You don't ask any stupid questions and you split the prize wit' me. Like they say, it's an offer you can't refuse. I won't let you." He leaned in closer to emphasize the latter point. DJ merely replied by swallowing very hard.

* * *

"Wow, you don't look like you," Lindsay cooed as she took a step back and got a good look at Izzy. While Izzy didn't quite look like an old lady, given the limited amount of time and supplies the Killer Grips had to work with, she still looked camera ready.

"'Aye, lassie!'" Izzy responded, speaking like her late Granny Mavis. "'That's ona'count a me bein' a master thespian!"

"Just make sure you lose the Scottish bur, okay Granny McE-Scope?" Duncan noted. He ignored the glare he received from the redhead.

Both teams went through their final preparations. Satisfied, everyone exited the stages except for the actors. Izzy dressed up as best like a sweet old lady. Geoff trying to look as best like a gangster as possible holding a tommy gun.

"And that's... action!" Chris called, hitting the clapper together to get the cameras rolling.

"When I was a young school girl in Poland, frolicking through the fields with my pet goat in the summer sun, those were my happiest days," Geoff began to perform.

Geoff's attempt at a 1920's gangster accent certainly had an effect on his team. Virtually every one of them cringed at how awful it sounded. And that was on top of having heard the first line he spoke, which only terrified them even more. The only person who didn't seem to be bothered was Bridgette. She looked as though she was anticipating him to nail a major acting moment.

"Did you check the envelopes before you labeled them?" Chris asked Chef after hearing Geoff's first line with a curious brow raised.

"I thought you checked them," Chef replied.

The two looked at one another for a moment. Then wicked grins grew on their faces and they began to snicker. This was going to be fun.

* * *

For the Killer Grips, there was no problems with the performance as far as they could see. Izzy very much acted like the little old lady from across the street. The problem was the script. Which clearly did not belong. And it only made the overall scene just very weird and surreal to watch. Nearly the entire team watched with their mouths slightly opened and eyes popped wide open with concern. Duncan merely watched with a raised brow as he rested his head on his knuckle.

"Now you listen and you listen good," Izzy acted. "If your fighter doesn't go down in the first round, you'll be sleeping with the fishes!" As if finally realizing that the lines did not match what her scene was supposed to be, Izzy fumbled over words a bit and started to do the one thing she felt could salvage the scene. Improvise. "And, uh... that's tough to do because... you know, they have no eyelids and it's hard to sleep." She then paused and looked over at the camera, breaking character completely. "Hey, I-I can flip my eyelids! Hey, any body wanna see me flip them?"

Chef watched this with a confused brow raised. No chance of him getting all emotional over that.

"What the hell was that?" Duncan asked in frustrated bewilderment.

"O-kay..." Trent managed to utter. "Granny Izzy may be nuts... but at least she's committed. Right?"

"I'm sure Geoff will have a hard time beating that," Duncan replied sarcastically.

"I've lived a good long life," Geoff acted. He dropped the accent, feeling that it was not necessary for this part of the performance. It was what he consider the money shot. And he put all of his heart and soul into the performance. To the point that a tear ran down his eye. "I've loved. I've laughed, but what I miss most of all is my sweet little goat, Shopa. Oh, baa, baa."

"Baa," Chef repeated, starting to get emotional. "Baa." He sniffs and begins to cry.

Gwen and LeShawna looked at one another and shrugged. It sounded like a performance that would get them the win. Especially with Chef tearing up. But then they looked over at their friend Bridgette. She was literally soaking every tissue she managed to pull out of the box. She clearly liked Geoff's performance. The Killer Grips watched all this and sighed.

"Cut!" Chris called. He looked over at the crying Chef with a raised brow of annoyance and then turned his attention back to the contestants. "Okay, enough. It's too much for Chef to take. Geoff clearly wins for Best Performance. The Screaming Gaffers win it!" The Screaming Gaffers cheered at their victory while the Killer Grips hung their heads in disappointment.

"Hey, Hey!" Izzy complained in her own gangster accent. "Oh, Oh! I was robbed! I'll see you in the morn, capeesh?"

"You're going to teach me how to be a tough guy?" DJ asked Chef, laughing as he watched the older man cry. This attempt at a confrontation turned out to be a bad idea as Chef suddenly shifted emotions. He went from crying to furious. To say DJ was scared would be an understatement as Chef grabbed him by the collar and lifted him up.

"Tough guys cry!" Chef proclaimed. "And did you notice your team just won? Who was the judge, huh? Who?"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Bridgette - /_Crying with joy._/ "Oh... My Schmoopy-Boo... Your sweet little Shopa is right here!" /_Continues crying._/

Justin - "I had a feeling something like this would get pulled. I know some guys who had similar situations happen to them when they tried to break into the business. Being the model that I am, I'm quite familiar with the how the system works out there in Tinseltown. And it's that familiarity that will help me to victory."

* * *

The Screaming Gaffers were about to celebrate in the girls trailer. But before the party could get underway, nearly all of them were shoved out the door by Bridgette. She then quickly closed the door and locked it. A sensual smirk forming on her lips and she slowly turned, her shoulder up slightly, to look at the only other person in the trailer. A confused looking Geoff.

"Um..." Geoff managed to squeak. "Something you wanna say? My Granola Goddess."

"We have a promise to fulfill, my Schmoopy-Boo," Bridgette purred.

Geoff's eyes widened and his lips trembled into a stupid smile. He knew what she meant and he was as excited as any guy would be whenever their girl acted the way she was. If he could only figure out why there was a slight sense of worry as well.

"You don't wanna wait until tonight, Schmoopy-Schmoo?" Geoff asked.

"No," Bridgette proclaimed. And then she pounced.

The rest of the Screaming Gaffers had just managed to get a few feet away from the trailer when they heard a loud slamming sound that was followed by a quick high-pitched scream. They all immediately turned and saw that the trailer was just about to tip over to one side. Then it waited until finally it fell back down to it's original position.

"Ooo, that girl is freaky," LeShawna said with a laugh.

"Ugh," Heather scoffed. "Now everything in there is going to get messed up. They better not ruin any of my clothes."

"So what are we going to do to celebrate now?" Harold asked curiously.

"You guys go ahead and do whatever," Gwen said, beginning to leave the area. "I've had enough craziness for one day."

Harold and LeShawna wanted to call out to her, but decided against it as Gwen looked very determined to get away. They looked at one another and then shrugged. She probably deserved some rest given how much of herself she exerted in the challenge.

"So what do we do now?" Harold asked.

LeShawna looked at Harold for a moment. For the first time in perhaps a long time, the two of them were seemingly alone together. Bridgette and Geoff were otherwise occupied. Gwen had walked off. Heather was in a huff. DJ appeared content to be himself elsewhere. Running through her head as quickly as possible how she had been feeling earlier in the day with the way Gwen and Bridgette went on briefly about their romantic lives, she herself wanted to feel as though she was apart of that. And for whatever reason, she always came back to thinking how sweet it was for this little string bean to give her that haiku back on the island. Perhaps she should give him another shot.

"You know, all that film equipment we hauled up the hill is still there," LeShawna said. "How's about showin' me some of yer skills as a junior cinematographer and have some fun makin' our own stuff."

"Really?" Harold nearly cried in surprise. When LeShawna nodded, he pumped his fist. "Yes!"

* * *

Gwen sat at the same low cliff she was at the night before. Less moody, she had her eyes closed and just let the light wind gently blow against her body. She remained like this until she was sure that she felt a little heat to her left side. She opened her eyes and looked over to find the source of the heat. A certain music man sat himself next to her with a smile on his face.

"I see you're not celebrating with your team," Trent noted.

"It's now a private celebration," Gwen responded with a smile of her own. She then let out a light laugh that came after taking a deep breath. "Just Geoff and Bridgette. No one else. Not even shirts."

Trent chuckled at the thought. "That was quite the performance he did today," he noted, slightly changing the subject.

"It was a little over the top and he had a horrible gangster accent," Gwen commented. "But hey, a win is a win."

Trent nodded. Then he began reaching behind his back. "Figured you might be up for a snack so I snagged you something from the Craft Services Tent," he said. "It may not be an adorable cabbage, but I'm sure an adorable goat wouldn't mind an adorable muffin." He pulled his hand back into view and placed in front of Gwen a muffin.

The goth girl giggled slightly as she took the muffin. "Mm-baa," she said, mimicking a goat.

"If you don't mind me saying," Trent said almost immediately. "You look a lot cheerful now than you were earlier."

Gwen paused for a moment before taking a deep breath. "Well, my team did win," she began to respond, picking at her muffin as she spoke. "But in honesty, this challenge made me realize some stuff. I'm not in this alone. No matter what happens, even when it gets to the individual stuff, I've made friends who have my back when I need them. Now I don't have to worry about having to go through this show all by myself. I have LeShawna, Bridgette, Geoff." She paused again. And then started to blush lightly before turning to face him. "But most important of all, I have you."

"I'm glad to be here for you," Trent said. He slumped slightly with his head sinking in just a little. His way of showing shyness.

"Although I don't wanna be you right now," Gwen noted rather suddenly.

"Because you're gonna have me shovel up the less adorable end of the digestive process?" Trent asked. His attempt at being funny was met with a handful of the muffin being squished upon his face. Both started to laugh as Trent wiped off the food particles from his face and looked back at his goth girl with a grin.

"More like because you have to go vote someone off," Gwen clarified.

"Ah, whatever," Trent said with a shrug. He then wrapped his right arm around her shoulders. "As long as you're still here, and you're not gonna dump me for what I just said, I'm good."

"You know, don't think I haven't noticed," Gwen pointed out rather suddenly, tapping a finger on his nose. "You think there might be something going on with me and Duncan."

"You guys are just friends, right?" Trent asked rather sheepishly, trying to mask any sense of worry his voice might let out.

"Worry not," Gwen stated. "Geoff told me that the guy has a secret photo of Courtney under his pillow."

"Secret?" Trent questioned with a curious brow raised.

"I'm sure he thinks that by having it out for the cameras to see it'll diminish his tough guy persona even more," Gwen noted, which was followed by a light laugh. "What a spaz. And really, why would I wanna go out with him." She slowed her laughter to a stop and then nestled her head upon his right shoulder. "He's no Trent."

The two smiled and looked into one another's eyes for what seemed like forever. Trent then brought his left hand up, cupping it upon her face. He let his thumb gently caress her cheek, which had turned pink. The continued to stare at each other until they finally leaned in for a soft, yet intoxicating kiss.

* * *

The Killer Grips watched with great discomfort as they were forced to sit through a whole sequence that introduced what became their elimination ceremony. The Gilded Chris Awards. Finally, the handsome host came out, looking stylish and spiffy in a light blue tuxedo. Once he was at the podium, he went through his usually hosting speeches.

"It's time to cast your votes," Chris announced. "Under your seats you'll find your voting devices. Just press the button of the person you want voted off. Oh, and no peeking! Or it's 'Nyah-nyah Nyah-nyah-nyah, hey-hey-hey, good bye!' He-Ha-Ha! Who will it be? Who will be cast off the set?"

The Killer Grips reached under their seats and pulled out handheld electronic devices. Upon the screens were all of their faces, though the image of Trent had a big red X over it. Which obviously meant he could not be voted for given his being immune. They then individually cast their votes and waited about as patiently as they were willing for the results.

They were then treated to the blinding sight of Chef bringing out five Gilded Chris Awards. In a sparkling pink dress. The guys wanted to laugh, but were more terrified at what they were looking at and tried to cover their eyes as quickly as possible. The girls, on the other hand, were giggling and laughing. Izzy was have the most fun seeing the big man being humiliated in such a fashion. Chef merely growled in response.

"The votes have been cast," Chris proclaimed. He pulled out a sheet of paper from behind the podium. "If you get a Gilded Chris, that means you're safe. For now. Because, rather suitably, the Gilded Chris represents the luster of fame and immortal greatness. And the first Gilded Chris goes to Trent!" Chef threw one of the awards to Trent, who caught it with ease. "Lindsay, Justin, and Beth are also safe." The girls cheered as they both embraced the handsome model. An act which, for whatever reason, distracted Lindsay as the award that Chef threw to her ended up clonking her on the head and knocking her out cold. Justin and Beth had no problems catching their awards. "So is Duncan." The delinquent merely scoffed before catching his award.

Everything who was still conscious then turned their attention to the remaining two contestants. Owen and Izzy. Owen looked very worried, fearful that his name would not be called and would therefore be eliminated. Izzy, meanwhile, had her arms crossed and her nose up in the air. As though she did not care what the outcome would be.

"And the final Gilded Chris goes to..." Chris began to announce.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Izzy!"

Izzy immediately shot her eyes wide open in sudden surprise. She ignored the award statue that passed her by, which ended up clonking Lindsay on the head again and brought her back to consciousness. Izzy looked then turned over to Owen. The hefty boy sighed and hung his head in defeat.

"But..." Izzy began to whimper. "But why?"

"Sorry, big guy," Chris said from the stage. "You got the most votes. You're outta here. Shame, too. You win last season and now you're the first one out this season. Tough break, dude."

"Well," Owen sighed, getting to his feet. "I guess you can't win them all. Bye guys!" He turned to the other contestants and waved before making his way down the Walk of Shame.

"Bye, Ocho!" Lindsay called out in a tearful voice.

"Adios, fatso," Duncan muttered with a wave.

"We're gonna miss you dude," Trent called out.

Owen continued to walk upon the red carpet. He was within a few feet of the Lame-o-sine when he stopped as he felt something drop onto his shoulders. Then Izzy appeared, upside-down, from above. She looked very sad. A sight which Owen couldn't remember ever seeing the redhead look.

"Who's Izzy gonna play with now?" Izzy asked in a hurtful tone.

"Don't you mean 'E-Scope?'" Owen questioned.

"Izzy's too upset," Izzy replied, on the verge of tears. She then dropped her entire body onto his shoulder, clutching him as if doing so would prevent him from going. "Izzy wants Owen to stay."

Even with her placing all her strength latching onto Owen, Izzy was easily removed by two heavy-set interns. Another pair of interns then quickly rushed Owen into the Lame-o-sine. Izzy struggled in an effort to get back to Owen, but found herself on the losing end. She could only watch in sorrow as Owen looked back at her, equally sad, until the vehicle drove off into the distance.

"Owen!" Izzy cried to the Heavens when the interns finally released her and walked away. After she stopped screaming, the redhead breathed heavily. She then narrowed her eyes in anger and frustration. "Izzy senses tingling. Izzy suspects foul play. Izzy thinks there's a conspiracy going on."

In a mad dash, Izzy ran away from the stage and through the film lot. She by-passed the Craft Services Tent and the sleeping trailers. She kept running until she went up the cliff that had be used previously for the challenge. She continued onward until she reached the stage upon which she had acted on. She grabbed the old lady clothes from earlier, put them on, and then waved her fist out in the direction she believed the Lame-o-sine had left toward.

"'F'ar not, Owen,'" Izzy proclaimed, speaking as her Granny Mavis. "'Izzy well avenge ya. Ya 'ear me! Ya well be avenged!'"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Trent - "People might think I'm voting Duncan because I might still be jealous. But when you think about it, all he did was complain about the team and didn't really contribute anything. He's bad for morale."

Beth - "Even though Owen got the trailer up the hill first all by himself, Justin said that it would be best to vote him off." /_Looks around and then leans in closer to the camera to whisper._/ "He said that he passes gas every time he walks."

Duncan - "The fart machine has got to go if only on account that we'll get a good night's sleep in the boy's trailer. Seriously, the guy stunk up the place real bad these last couple of nights."

Izzy - "E-Scope does not trust Justin. Uh-uh. He's a liar and E-Scope does not like liars."

Justin - "Beth and Lindsay will vote any way I want them to and Duncan has a natural dislike for Owen. Besides, he won last season. It's time for some one else to win this whole thing. And that some one is going to be me."

Lindsay - "Omar is sweet and kind. But Justin said that he ate all the food when we weren't looking. I don't eat all that much, but why did he have to eat all of the watermelons? That's really illiterate of him."

Owen - "Duncan was really mean to everyone. Why can't we just have some fun? That's why we're here, right?"

* * *

Trent - Duncan

Beth - Owen

Duncan - Owen

Izzy - Justin

Justin - Owen

Lindsay - Owen

Owen - Duncan

...

Owen - 4

Duncan - 2

Justin - 1

...

Voted Off - Owen

* * *

Well... That turned out to be a much bigger chapter than I expected...

Part of the reason for the changing of the order of events every now and then is part of the rewriting process. For instance, in the previous chapter Bridgette and Geoff's elimination came later even though how it happened was roughly the same. This was because of the rewrite where Gwen, DJ, and Trent overruled Duncan in letting the two tag along, thereby letting them advance further on. I kept the manner in which they were eliminated the same because I figured that's what they would've done regardless. Traces of the Gilded Chris Awards ceremony that originally happened in "Alien Resurr-eggtion" happens here for the obvious reason that I didn't do an elimination in the last chapter. Besides, that first ceremony had good bits.

**DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN THE REVIEWS!**

**Next Up:** Beach Blanket Bogus


	3. Beach Blanket Bogus

**Total Drama Action Redux**

a _Total Drama_ fan fiction story

by Lord Akiyama

* * *

**Author's Note:** This is an alternate universe story based around my idea of how the series would have gone. It begins from the episode _Alien Resurr-eggtion_ onward. Some elements are the same as in the show, but the rest is taken in a different direction.

_Total Drama_ and its characters are copyright © of Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network. This story was created purely out of sheer enjoyment so please don't sue. Or throw me off a thousand-foot high cliff into a shark-infested lake. That would so smarts.

* * *

**Chapter Three**

Beach Blanket Bogus

* * *

_(Narrated by Chris McLean)_

Last time on Total Drama Action...

He was a boy. She was a girl. And last week on Total Drama Action, a shocking team redistribution pitted them against one another. Only it wasn't as fun as I hoped as Gwen got really snippy with me and forced me to make Trent pick first. By selecting Duncan, he denied us seeing our heroine potentially make a fundamental romantic comedy error. Oh well. Can't win 'em all.

Still, Duncan was not so pleased with being on the Killer Grips as he clearly saw his teammates as inferior and just complained about it the whole day. Then again, the Screaming Gaffers ended up getting Harold and Duncan made it clear that he did not want to be on the same team with him. Perhaps it's because said nerd manipulated the votes to get the punk's Type A girlfriend eliminated last season? I think so.

Heather found herself in a not-so-friendly environment as Gwen, Bridgette, and LeShawna made it clear that she would be the first to go should they lose a challenge. Forcing baldy to be a team player for once on this show. Meanwhile, two men made an illegal alliance. After witnessing DJ's poor display of manning up, Chef has taken upon it himself to toughen the sensitive guy in exchange for a share of the winnings. Chef does know we're filming all that's happening, right?

The teams picked amongst them a master thespian to perform a tear-jerker. The Gaffers went with Geoff and the Grips reluctantly allowed Izzy to volunteer. A mix up in the scripts turned out to be key as, despite a really bad attempt at sounding like a gangster, Geoff still had enough mad acting skills to trump Izzy's... well, madness.

But the real shocker came in our first dramatic Gilded Chris Awards ceremony as Owen, not Izzy, was eliminated. Despite single handedly pulling a trailer up a cliff with his pants falling down, the big guy's flatulence as well as Justin's silent, but deadly approach at playing the game made last season's winner the first to go home. A sight that surprisingly saddened the crazy redhead, who vowed to avenge her hefty boyfriend's defeat.

Will Izzy succeed in avenging Owen?

Will Trent and Gwen maintain their relationship?

Will my non-fat vanilla soy latte ever get here?

All the answers... answered! Right now, in another tear-jerking episode of...

_TOTAL... DRAMA... ACTION!_

_(Cue Theme Song)_

* * *

Morning at the Craft Services Tent. The remaining contestants gathered for breakfast. Unfortunately, it was being cooked by Chef. Heather swallowed as she reluctantly held her plate out to receive the mysterious, and potentially poisonous slop made by the former army man. Taking a closer look at her meal, she was very certain it was moving.

"Now I know how starlets stay thin," she muttered aloud.

"Wish Chef would let me in the kitchen," Harold said to her from behind. The queen bee merely looked at him with an annoyed brow raised in response. "I got me some mad culinary skillz."

"You mind?" Heather said sternly as she turned to walk away. "I was talking to my slop."

She paused once to find herself on the receiving end of a hard glare from LeShawna. Heather raised her nose up and resumed walking to the nearest table. Once she had seated herself down, she had spotted Lindsay and Beth. She waved at them, only to watch them quickly turn and walk swiftly away. Heather sighed and went about eating her slop.

Meanwhile, Lindsay and Beth immediately spotted one of their teammates. More importantly, the teammate they wanted to be with. The male model Justin. As Justin was sipping his soda, the girls quickly sat themselves on other side of him.

"Justin!" Lindsay nearly cried, holding out her plate to him. "Look! I brought you bacon."

"I brought you facon," Beth added, also holding out her plate to him. "Tofu's good for your heart."

"Pig's good for his hair," Lindsay stated.

"Holy crap, I love his hair!" Beth cried. To the shock of the others, she immediately jumped and latched herself in a tight hug around Justin's head. Though there was no reason to prove it, the male model certainly had quite the neck strength to maintain a sense of balance with all the added weight.

"Ladies, please," Justin said calmly as he gently removed Beth from his head and sat her down. "I accept both your offerings. Join me for breakfast?" Both girls began giggling as they watched him dig into his meal. Just before he could take his first bite, the male model noticed that neither one of the two appeared to recognize they had food. "Aren't you eating?"

"When you can gorge your soul on Essence de Beau Hunk, who needs food?" Lindsay cooed.

With a shrug, Justin went about eating his breakfast. He looked over and noticed Beth staring at him rather lovingly. He responded by giving her a wink. An action that caused her to gasp a snort, sending her falling back to the floor.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Beth - /_Making a bracelet._/ "If only making friends with a guy as gorgeous as Justin was as easy as making these bracelets." /_Pulls on the bracelet too tight, causing it to shatter. Gasps a snort and falls over in shock._/

* * *

Trent was sprinkling salt onto his eggs when the top suddenly fell off, dumping all of the salt crystals all over his breakfast. He barely had time to react when he heard a familiar laughter roar in front of him. After rolling his eyes, he glared at the guilty delinquent on the verge of clutching his stomach.

"Ah, sorry about the morning as-salt!" Duncan managed to say through his laughter. He suddenly stopped when something sharp and hard smacked the back of his head.

"Third grade called," Gwen said after pulling her hand back. The goth girl was making her way over to her table when the incident went down and decided to give Duncan a piece of her mind for messing with her boyfriend. "You're due back in class."

"Really mature," Trent said with a sigh. "Don't you know that it's bad luck to spill salt?" He started picking salt off of his plate and tossing them over his left shoulder. It turned out that he had a pretty good pitch as the salt nailed Heather square in the face with many of the crystal particles getting into her eyes. As she stood up and screamed in pain, the other three merely watched with disinterest. "Nothing a little pepper won't fix."

Trent had started sprinkling pepper onto his eggs when the same thing happened. The top fell off, dumping all of the contents onto his breakfast. Duncan went about laughing again while both Gwen and Trent sighed and rolled their eyes. Trent repeated the process of picking the seasoning off his plate and tossing them over his left shoulder. And like before, they nailed Heather square in the face. This time, the pepper causing her to sneeze uncontrollably. Which only intensified the pain she was feeling. She started running about, sneezing and screaming along the way.

"Hey, what do you know," Gwen laughed upon seeing Heather's misfortune. "Good luck's back on your side." She placed a quick kiss on her boyfriend's cheek, who smiled in return.

"You still gonna finish those eggs, bro?" Duncan asked, immediately grabbing one of the eggs and tossing them into his mouth.

"Sure, go ahead and eat my eggs, why don't you," Trent sighed. He was about to slouch in his seat when an idea popped into his head. With a smile, he got up and walked back over to the breakfast line. Gwen and Duncan watched with great curiosity.

"What'cha want, music man?" Chef asked.

"I decided to give my plate of eggs over to Duncan since he didn't get his breakfast yet and he looked real hungry," Trent replied, pointing over to Duncan with his thumb. "I was wondering if I could get his plate in exchange."

Chef looked at Trent for a moment. Trent had not dropped his smile since getting up from the table. Chef then looked over at Duncan. The punk displaying a look of confusion as well as having food in his mouth. Chef looked back at Trent and then shrugged. "Knock yerself out," he said, handing Trent a plate of eggs.

"Thanks," Trent said, proudly walking back to the table.

"Nice one, handsome," Gwen commented.

Duncan watched as Trent happily went about eating his breakfast. He then looked down at the plate of eggs that was now his. Completely covered in salt and pepper. He looked back up at Trent and sighed. Though he would not say so aloud, he had to admit that Trent got back at him real good.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Trent - "Okay, seriously. What is Duncan's problem? It's like everything that any one does around here annoys him so much that he has to be snippy about it. Granted he wasn't an angel last season, but he was never this bad."

Gwen - "There's a very simple explanation for why Duncan's acting the way he is. He. Misses. Courtney."

Duncan - /_Arms crossed, nose up to the camera._/ "Nope. I'm not gonna say it." /_Shakes his head._/ "Not gonna say it. Not gonna say it. Not gonna say it..." /_Slowly begins to form a pouting face._/

Chris - /_Laughs._/ "Spaz."

* * *

As opposed to actually eating breakfast, Bridgette and Geoff had simply placed their plates down on the table and immediately engaged in a game of tonsil hockey. This went on for some time until they both felt that there was some thing pressed against both of their chests. They pulled back slightly to find that there indeed was something. Izzy's head. Positioned between their chests, Izzy was looking out over at the Killer Grips table while wearing night-vision goggles.

"Um..." Geoff managed to say, scratching his head. "What'cha doin' over here, Izz?"

"Izzy gathering recon on Killer Grips," Izzy replied in a silent whisper.

"You're spying on your own team?" Bridgette questioned with a confused brow raised.

"Izzy suspects someone on the team is a traitor," Izzy answered, still in a silent whisper. "That someone being responsible for getting Owen eliminated. Izzy must observe her team in secret so that Izzy can uncover the identity of the traitor." She then slowly began to descend down underneath the table.

"Uh..." Geoff managed to utter. "That's... cool, I guess." He looked back to his girlfriend. They both shrugged and were about to resume their make out when a whistle had been blown. Bringing everyone's attention to the front of the tent.

"Hang on to your coconuts, players!" Chris announced, having been the one responsible for blowing the whistle. He appeared as he usually did, only he wore sunglasses and had underneath one arm a surfboard. The sight of which resulted in a very loud and very audible high-pitched gasp. Everyone knew who was responsible for that.

"Are we going to do beach movies?" Bridgette asked in overjoyed excitement.

"You got it, surfer girl!" Chris replied, shooting a finger at her. Bridgette immediately cheered, making a sound that was both a screaming and a squeal. To say that she was happy about what genre they would be doing would be an understatement.

"Oh great," Duncan muttered. "Just give them the challenge why don't you."

"Just because she's an expert on a subject doesn't guarantee them the win," Trent tried to reason. "Remember the alien challenge? You knew the subject like the back of your hand and yet you didn't win."

"Gee, thanks for bringing that up," Duncan scoffed.

"Ever seen one of those 1950's surfer movies, where the kids get up to neat-o fun before the big bonfire twist-a-thon, and the bully kicks the sand castle in the nerdy guy's face?" Chris asked in a rather fast pace and displaying some sort of physical representation of each word at the same time.

Most of the contestants had no clue what he was talking about while only a few did. DJ shrugged. LeShawna raised a brow. Harold nodded. Heather sneezed. Gwen and Trent both gave blank stares. Bridgette screamed again with excitement.

"_Beach Tango Boogaloo_ is my favorite!" Bridgette cheered, jumping up onto the table and mimicking a surfing motion. "I love that scene where Jimmy triple hops the rocks to avoid the sharks!"

"The rest of us haven't, grandpa," Duncan noted aloud.

"Well, get ready to recreate one, Junior," Chris responded, shooting another finger at the punk. "Two challenges followed by a tie-breaker in necessary. So, grab your swimsuits!"

The contestants got up and made their way out of the tent. Bridgette could hardly contain her joy at what the next set of challenges were based on. Instead of making a mad dash that would have resulted in her running virtually everyone over, she merely tip-toed quickly out of the tent. Gwen and LeShawna shaking their heads, yet smiling at the sight of their friend's excitement. Geoff adjusted his hat as he followed along with a huge grin on his face.

DJ was the last to exit. Although this was because he was suddenly pulled aside by Chef. "If the sand castle thing goes down, make sure yer the kicker," the big man whispered sternly. "Not the kickee."

* * *

After changing into their bathing suits, the contestants were led to their destination. A shooting studio. One that was so cold they would have been freezing if they had been wearing their regular clothes. As expected, they found the handsome host and Chef properly dressed for the occasion. In heavy winter coats.

"When did you guys move the beach to Antarctica?" Lindsay managed to whine through her freezing chatter.

"As some of you can see, we're actually in the shooting studio," Chris replied rather warmly.

"And the AC's cranked because..." Duncan said through his own shivering.

"All the cameras and lights get so hot, they can melt Chef's heart," Chris responded. The contestants suspiciously looked over at Chef, who put on a cute smile and waved at them. "And the network told my agent sweaty isn't a good look for me. Your first challenge... hang ten this deck into the big blue without swallowing tail in the soup."

"What did you just ask me to do?" LeShawna angrily huffed.

"He means whoever stays on the surfboard the longest wins," Bridgette explained.

"Exact-o-mondo, groovy cats," Chris stated. "So... who's going first?"

Virtually none of the contestants were willing to step up first. It was very cold, they were in bathing suits, and they all knew that there were things that Chris was not telling them about the challenge. Things that they would definitely not like. Yet there was one contestant who seemed eager to tackle the challenge head on. But she was stopped by her two friends from stepping up.

"Maybe you shouldn't go first," Gwen said.

"How come?" Bridgette asked.

"Save the best fo' last," LeShawna answered. "Besides, I doubt the rest of us will do all that good, so you don't hafta go all out on yer run." Bridgette looked at her friends, seeing that they had thought this out, and sighed.

"The team that wins will get a half-hour head start on the next challenge," Chris announced. "And given tonight's reward, you should be fighting harder than Justin's abs over who gets first shot."

"Speaking of rock-hard abs, have you ever seen my ten-pack?" Harold quietly uttered to LeShawna. He began flexing his scrawny little body in a poor and heavily foolish attempt to display muscles.

"Boy, you crazy," LeShawna lightly laughed, shaking her head and smiling. It was not laugh she made that was meant to mock. More like a laugh as a means of returning affection.

As Harold was flexing, Lindsay felt the need to put on some suntan lotion. This was despite where they were located. Giving that she was freezing all over, she held the bottle up and squeezed as hard as she could just to be sure that the lotion came out. It came out alright. In the form of a icicle that shot out of the bottle and stabbed Harold in the bottom. The nerd yelped as he jumped forward. Which had a very unfortunate result.

"We have a volunteer!" Chris proclaimed. Harold gave himself a face palm in disbelief.

* * *

Harold stepped off the plank and onto the surfboard. While it was over a water tank, the board itself was positioned on a device that would cause it mimic the motions one would feel riding on a surfboard. "Mad surfing skillz, activate!" he declared.

"And please welcome the return of some season one fan favorites," Chris announced. Every one looked over at him, not really surprised that he indeed had some thing up his sleeve that he did not warn them about earlier. "The sharks!" Harold nearly screamed when one dove out of the water and took a snap at him.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Harold - "I'm very protective of my buttocks. They provide me the low center of gravity that is the key to my many mad skillz. You could say they're my hugest asset. Check it! I can juggle my Magic Steve's Magical trading cards!" /_Stands up, turns, and juggles card from one back pants pocket to the other._/

* * *

Harold clung desperately to the pipe at the very top of the ceiling. Lifting himself as far up as possible whenever a shark jumped out of the water and took a bite at him. "My booty and I are out!" he proclaimed.

"Your booty has an opinion?" LeShawna asked with a brow raised.

"That's a big job for a saggy, sad little thing," Heather commented.

"I'll have you know this is a selfless act!" Harold stated. "My lady fans couldn't handle the loss of this perfect behind!"

"And by lady fans, he means his mother," Heather noted. Which in turn put her on the receiving end of a glare from LeShawna.

"Hey sharks, look!" Harold called out, pointing away from the water tank. "Bacon and facon!" Every one looked over to see what the nerd was talking about. What they saw was that Geoff was carrying stacks of meat by products on his arms.

"What are you doing with those?" Bridgette asked curiously.

"It's how we got Owen out of bed last season," Geoff explained. "I'm sure it'll get the attention of the sharks." Sure enough, the sharks emerged from the water tank and began begging for the food like they were trained sea lions. The distraction gave Harold the opening to drop down and safely get away. Unfortunately, he slammed on the plank back first.

"Ooo, way to stick the dismount, bro," Chris chuckled. He wasn't the only one as Duncan and Heather enjoyed seeing Harold getting injured silly. The fun for stopped, however, when Izzy suddenly zipped up nose to nose at Duncan. She looked at him with narrowed eyes and curled lips. Staring at him with great suspicion.

"Hmmm..." Izzy uttered. "Laughing at the misfortune of others. Izzy is watching you."

"Whatever, crazy girl," Duncan scoffed, rolling his eyes and then walking away. Izzy maintained a watchful eye on him when Beth shyly came up to her and waved one of her many self-made bracelets.

"Friendship bracelet?" Beth offered.

Izzy examined the bracelets, even going so far as to sniff them. "A friendship offering, eh," she said, picking one of them up and looking over every centimeter of it with her eyes. "Izzy will maintain suspicion." The sight of this creeping Beth out a little as she slowly shuffled back to where Lindsay was.

"Did you ever notice... Izzy's a little... weird?" Beth asked aside to her blonde friend.

"Here?" Lindsay repeated. "Who's here?" As if realizing something, she gasped in excitement. "Is Tyler here? That's amazing!"

"Okay, Linds, Tyler is not in the game any more!" Beth stated firmly, trying to get the fact cemented into her friend's head.

"Oh, right!" Lindsay pouted. "I must have a dental block about the whole thing..."

"You have one of those too?" Izzy asked, appearing suddenly in-between the girls in a manner that scared them. She even returned the bracelet to Beth without the smaller girl noticing. "Those can be such a pain, uh-huh. I had to pull one of those bad boys right out from the root. See?" Izzy proceeded to open her mouth with her hands in a bizarre manner so that she could get Lindsay to see inside. All it did was make the other two girls scream and run in opposite directions, to get far away from Izzy.

* * *

The Killer Grips were up next and they sent out the one person they thought could, at the very least, put in a good number. It was not so much his surfing skills that were going to be key. Rather his physical traits. And thus, Justin was picked.

"Yay!" Lindsay cheered. "Go Justin!"

"Yeah!" Beth cheered along. "Go!" This ended up causing a bit of a jealous spout between the two friends.

"Copycat," Lindsay said sternly.

"Tan-orexic," Beth retorted. One that caused both to gasp in shock and horror. "Sorry! Friendship bracelet?"

Justin stood proudly on the surfboard and displayed his shirtless body in all of its glory. Nabbing the attention of nearly every female in the studio. It also happened to capture the lovestruck attention of the sharks, which Trent and Duncan remembered from the first season and therefore led to their decision to put the male model out.

"So... perfect..." Chris commented. "Almost makes me believe in the inherent goodness of the human race..." He then chuckled in a sinister manner as he cocked a custom-made machine gun. "Almost." This did not go unnoticed by the Killer Grips, realizing that this was another trick up the handsome host's sleeve that he gleefully neglected to mention.

"Justin!" Beth cried.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Beth - "I wanted to tell him he looked like a surfing god. Instead, I said..."

* * *

"Your face!" Beth continued to cry. "Watch your beautiful face!"

Justin reacted too late as he found himself being fired upon by Chris. Come at him were scores of live seagulls screeching past him until one nailed him square in the face, causing him to fall into the water tank. The sharks gasped in horror as one quickly dove in and pulled the seemingly out cold male model out of the water. The male contestants watched in utter confusion as the shark began giving Justin CPR until he was conscious again.

"Oh my gosh, Justin!" Beth cried as she and Lindsay ran up to him. "Are you okay?" Both girls were immediately smacked onto the floor by the shark that was over the male model.

"Love's a beautiful thing," Chris chuckled.

"Damn that boy is fine," LeShawna cooed aloud. "Right girls?" She looked over at Bridgette. The surfer girl, blushing, nodded in an embarrassed manner. Heather looked as though she was trying hard not to be in the same boat, but the trembling in her lips gave her away. LeShawna then looked over at Gwen and was quite stunned with what she saw. "Gwen?"

Gwen's attention was clearly preoccupied. The goth girl had lost herself staring lovingly at a chest, alright. But it wasn't Justin's. Trent sheepishly scratched the back of his head in slight shyness as he watched his girlfriend look at him, or rather his apparently sexy chest, in a dream-like state. Then LeShawna brought her back to reality with a tap on the shoulder.

"Huh, wha?" Gwen quipped. "Oh, right. There's still plenty of time." She noticed that LeShawna was looking at her with a brow raised, arms crossed, and a big grin that ran from ear to ear. "What?"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Trent - "I never really saw myself as being this handsome guy lots of girls back home seem to think I am. But seeing Gwen stare at me instead of a male model like Justin..." /_Shyly slouches in chair._/ "I guess maybe I am a little good looking."

Gwen - /_Trying desperately not to act girly._/ "That chest... is so... irresistible!" /_Lets out a loving sigh._/

Justin - "Him? She was looking at him and not me? It seems my charms don't work on every girl like I thought it would. She could be a problem for me down the road."

* * *

DJ stepped up for the Screaming Gaffers. He nervously maintained his balance on the mechanized surfboard. Then one of the sharks jumped out of the water and took a bite at him. While the shark was not successful in even scratching the big man, it was successful in snatching something. His bathing suit.

Every one covered their mouths, more so out of kindness by not letting their laughters be heard at seeing the sight of poor sensitive DJ fully nude in public. DJ immediately ran away as quickly as he could, covering the most sensitive of his body parts.

"The body's a beautiful thin'!" Chef called out to him. "You don't need a suit!"

* * *

The Killer Grips decided upon sending out the next person in their group who could handle all of the obstacles the challenge presented. After all, she was crazy enough to be game for any thing. Unfortunately, Izzy was game enough to bypass the whole change and dive right into the water. Moments later, the sharks jumped out of the water tank and were running away, yelping like dogs along the way. Izzy finally appeared out of the water with a huge smile on her face.

"_Duh-Dah duh-dah duh-dah duh-dah, reeeeeeeeee!_" Izzy said, singing a rather familiar tune before cackling. "That was fun!"

Chris then appeared on the plank and blew his whistle. "Break time!" he announced. "Union rules!"

"Finally!" Heather sighed.

"I don't mean you, shark-bait," Chris stated.

* * *

The contestants watched with great annoyance and frustration as the sharks relaxed in their chairs. They had heating towels over their heads, sipping tea, and being served delicious snacks by Chef. They were living the high life. The contestants were not. Still, Gwen decided this would be as good of a chance to give the Screaming Gaffers a good run.

"No sharks equals no problem," the goth girl proclaimed. Then she heard the familiar cocking of a machine gun. "Crap!"

"I love this game!" Chris chuckled as he fired.

Gwen did the best she could to dodge and avoid getting hit by the seagulls. However, one managed to nail her on the side of the head and cause her to tip over. "Aaah, sky rat!" she cried, just before falling into the water. "Get it out! Get it out!"

* * *

The contestants watched as one by one they all began to fail the challenge in some fashion or another. Generally without the need for the sharks to get involved. Both LeShawna and Heather never really had the balance to stay on the board. Trent took two seagulls to the gut before tipping over. Beth immediately jumped as soon as the seagulls were fired upon her.

Lindsay nervously got onto the surfboard and proceeded with the challenge. Chris rapidly raised his eyebrows a few times before walking away from the machine gun. He instead went to a control station and pushed a button. The scenery behind Lindsay changed from a beach setting to a farm in the middle of tornado season. Which in turn caused the mechanics controlling the surfboard to move at a more frantic pace. As Lindsay struggled to maintain her balance, some of the male contestants couldn't help themselves as they watched each bounce she made.

Chris then turned to Chef, giving him the thumbs up. Chef chuckled and plugged in a cord that caused a pair of high-powered fans to blow at Lindsay from behind. The amount of wind blowing at her was more than enough to send the screaming blonde flying off of the surfboard and into the wall.

* * *

"Remember what I taught you, sweetie!" Bridgette called out to Geoff as the party dude stepped onto the surfboard.

"I got this, babe!" Geoff called back, balancing himself on the board as it began to move.

His ability to main his balance only last for a few minutes as he started to tip dangerously close to falling over. It didn't help that Chris was soon firing upon him wave after wave of seagulls. In the end, he was nailed twice in the chest by a pair of seagulls and was knocked off the board. Unfortunately, the force of the hits sent him flying over the water tank and causing him to crash hard onto the floor. Bridgette nearly screamed as she rushed over to aid her boyfriend.

"He don't got it," LeShawna noted aloud, shaking her head.

* * *

"Finally, for the Killer Grips, we have Duncan!" Chris announced as said contestant made his way onto the surfboard over the water tank. "Try not to get your piercings wet." Duncan responded by merely rolling his eyes.

Duncan took on everything that was thrown at him. He maintained his balance while the mechanics controlling the board twisted and shook rapidly. He was unmoved by the high powered wind being blown at him. And he managed to avoid getting hit by the seagulls, either by dodging or hitting them. Chris stroke his chin, figuring what else he could do to know the punk off.

"Oh, my head!" Lindsay moaned as she casually walked by. This gave Chris a sinister idea.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Duncan stated when he saw what Chris had in mind. He managed to duck just in time to void being hit by a flying and screaming Lindsay, who crashed up against the scenery wall behind.

"Guess that's time," Chris announced, shrugging in defeat. The punk jumped off the surfboard and joined his cheering teammates, or rather what's left of them, in celebration. "And with that, Duncan secures victory-"

"Ahem," Bridgette coughed, grabbing everyone's attention. All turned their eyes over to her, seeing that she had her own surfboard in hand and was ready and determined to compete. "I believe there's one Screaming Gaffer left to surf."

"They threw everything at Duncan but the kitchen sink," Justin said, hoping to argue a reason for her to not be able to surf. "What's left for them to do to make your surf a challenge?"

"I noticed you haven't used those wind machines over there," Bridgette stated, jerking her thumb behind.

Everyone looked over and gasped. Even Chef was shocked to think that Bridgette would be willing to suggest what she was willing to tackle. The wind machines she had pointed at put the ones that had been used to shame. It wasn't just the size of them, which were literally as tall as the studio itself. It was the sheer mass it presented, showing that the power it would blow could easily knock the ceiling into the sky. It didn't help that it was labeled as the Tsunami Maker 5000.

"You sure you wanna do that?" Chris asked with a raised brow, but also a smirk on his face. The girl was willing to throw herself against one of the worst possible obstacles that could ever be presented in the challenge. He was impressed.

"Positive," Bridgette answered without hesitation.

"Alright," Chris said with a shrug. "Your funeral. Chef, crank up the Tsunami Maker 5000."

Chef nervously made his way over to the machine to activate it. Bridgette made her way onto the surfboard. Everyone else made sure they were as far out of the way as possible. Even the sharks were moving. Moments later, Chef swallowed and pressed the power button. Almost immediately, the sheer force of the wind that blew was stronger than any thing that had been used before. So strong that it knocked everyone off their feet. Everyone except Bridgette.

Bridgette cheered as she took on the wind full force. Let her body dictate the way the surfboard moved and swayed, controlling it so that she would maintain her balance. The power of the wind was then getting stronger and stronger. So strong that it actually blew the wet suit right off of Bridgette's body, revealing that she wore a light blue two piece underneath. Yet she looked as though she could care less about what happened to her wet suit. She was determined to master the wind.

"Bridge!" Geoff cried after seeing the wet suit fly. "Are you doin' alright?"

"Is that the best you can do?" Bridgette yelled. "I've surfed waves stronger than this! Come on! Punch it!"

Chris and Chef looked at one another and then shrugged. "You want it, you got it!" Chris proclaimed, amping up the level of the wind power to its maximum setting.

"Woo hoo!" Bridgette cheered as the wind blew harder and harder against her. Yet she still managed to maintain her balance upon the surfboard, riding the wind the likes of which none of the other contestants had ever seen.

"Damn, that girl got skills," LeShawna muttered aloud.

It was then that the machine suddenly had a burst. It blew one final gust, the strongest of them all, that blew the surfboard right off the mechanism and onto the water of the water tank. Which it turn saw the water tank explode wide open, sending the water to spill out onto the floor. And then the far side of the studio blew open, the wall being sent flying for a few hundred yards before finally crashing. Yet Bridgette managed to stay on the board the whole time, even as the board flowed with the spilling water until it become nothing more than a puddle on the floor. Bridgette stood triumphantly with her hands on heir waist.

"Alright, babe!" Geoff cheered. As the other Screaming Gaffers cheered along, Geoff immediately made a running dash toward his girlfriend. He nearly tackled her before sweeping her into his arms and then engaging in the latest make-out session.

"Well I'll be," Chris uttered with an amazed chuckle. "She managed to stay on the board through that. Guess that means the Screaming Gaffers take this one." The Killer Grips hung their heads, dejected at how things turned out.

"Show off," Duncan scoffed.

"Man, Gwen's team is unstoppable," Trent commented, scratching his head with one hand and rubbing the necklace he got from Gwen with the other.

"We have to stop them!" Izzy proclaimed, nearly scaring the music man. "But with what? A freight train? Toot-toot!" Izzy was about the babble on when she froze and focused her attention on Trent. Specifically, the hand of his that was rubbing the necklace. This did not go unnoticed.

"Something on your mind, Izzy?" Trent asked curiously.

"You've been rubbing that necklace a lot," Izzy noted, tapping her chin. "Nine times, to be exact."

"You... say that like it's a bad thing," Trent said before slowly walking away from the redhead.

"Curiouser and curiouser..." Izzy muttered, narrowing her eyes.

* * *

It was later on in the day when the contestants gathered with Chris at the front of the film lot. Chris had his arms crossed and looked at the others, shaking his head. Noting aloud what he did not like about what he was seeing.

"Well, against all advice to the contrary, the players have changed out of their bathing suits," Chris announced, as if to a camera. "Hope you like swimming in your jeans."

"Right," Heather scoffed. "Cause we're totally going to the beach for real this time. The bus is just late." Suddenly, a vehicle horn sounded. Everyone turned to see Chef driving up to retrieve them. In a bus.

"You were saying?" Chris retorted.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

LeShawna - "Chris actually told us the truth fo' once? What's next? Being treated with actual respect?"

Bridgette - /_Sighs with relief._/ "That surfing challenge was so much fun! It's been such a long time since I got take on any thing that intense. I can't wait to do that again."

* * *

"A blue bracelet for Lindsay to match her still frozen lip," Beth proclaimed aloud. She handed the freezing blonde her bracelet before the latter boarded the bus. Beth then displayed another bracelet and gave it to the next member of her team. "A green one for Izzy because she's of Scottish descent."

"'Why thank ye, lassie!'" Izzy said, channeling her Granny Mavis as she accepted the bracelet from the smaller girl before boarding the bus. "'This well be of great use far when I fina'ley tame Nessie!'"

Beth watched the redhead skip off onto the bus and then shrugged. She picked up the next bracelet and turned. Upon seeing who stepped up to her, she immediately gasped and turned red in the face.

"What'cha got there, Beth?" Justin asked

"A-A whole lotta car sickness!" Beth yelled frantically, slowly shuffling away as she continued to speak incoherently. "I'll blow chunks if I don't get the front seat! Barf, barf, barf!"

* * *

"Yes, campers," Chris announced. "We're actually back at your old stomping grounds. Total... Drama... Island!" Everyone took a minute to have a good look around of the place they had just been at for the last several weeks. And they're right back where they started, so to speak. "If you need to take a moment to reminisce about the great times you had here..."

After a moment of silence, all of the contestants started laughing hysterically. They could not believe that Chris would go as far as to say there were great times to be remembered from the island. After all the pain and suffering they went through at his hands. Chris glared at all of them for a moment then threw his hands in the air.

"Fine!" the handsome host said. "We'll skip the good memories montage. Screaming Gaffers! You've got a thirty minute head-start on..." Chef walked over to a portion of the beach and pointed at a huge square area. Complete with plastic buckets and toy shovels. "The sand castle building contest! To be judged by our resident 'King O the Dunes!'" Chef put a miniature prop sand castle on his head like a hat. "Make like prop masters, guys, and give me something awesome. I really don't want the tie-breaker to have to go down. I don't think legal's quite approved it yet."

Chris jerked his thumb over to the direction that everyone else looked toward. A poorly set up trio of wooden pillars tied together at the top with a rope that also carried a large boulder that hovered over a dummy. Suddenly, the rope snapped and the boulder flattened the dummy. Seconds later, the pillars collapsed and crashed onto the boulder on top of the dummy. And then to really add insult to injury, a car suddenly drove off a cliff and slammed into the newly made pile of destruction.

* * *

"DJ, wetter sand in that bucket!" Harold commanded, sending the big man off running in a hurry. "LeShawna, pack it firmer!"

"Who died and made you Bossy McPushy?" LeShawna demanded.

"I'm a bit of a Gehry buff," Harold explained. The immediate response he received from LeShawna was silence. "Frank Gehry? The greatest architect of our time?"

"And this is helpful because..." LeShawna said.

Harold merely waved his hand over to reveal what could surely be described as a masterpiece in the making. Bridgette, Geoff, and Heather were carefully following Harold's instructions and the results were nothing short of astonishing. LeShawna was blown away by the magnificent design of the sand castle. It looked as real as a castle could be. More importantly, she was blown away by the fact that Heather was helping and not complaining. Though she was sure that was more out of the fact that Heather will be the first one gone should the Gaffers lose a challenge, she was still nonetheless impressed.

"Now how about some props for my fine buttresses," Harold proudly stated.

"Well I'll be damned..." she muttered.

"Any one know where Gwen went?" DJ asked curiously upon his return from retrieving wetter sand.

* * *

Gwen had been curious to see what Duncan was up to, seeing that he completely ditched his team and went off into the woods. Given that Harold had the construction of the sand castle firmly under control, she figured she could waste the thirty minute lead they had by investigating what the punk was up to. Upon finding the punk in a clearing, she was more than able to figure out what it was that made him wander off alone.

"Tell me you're not doing what I think you're doing," Gwen said.

"If we're gonna be stuck at the beach, at least we can stay at the cabins," Duncan said upon removing a piece of the engine from the bus and tossing it away. "Never thought I'd miss them."

"I'd figured you'd go to juvie before you'd ever come back to this dump," Gwen noted with a brow raised.

"I haven't been pushed that far yet, sweetheart," Duncan responded with a slight chuckle. "Besides, I've always been more of a dismantler than a builder any way."

"No," Gwen said. "You just love to stir up the s-" She was cut off by the overwhelming sound of the horn going off, causing her to throw her hands up to her ears to cover them. "Stuff! I was gonna say stuff!"

"Should probably disconnect the horn," Duncan noted obviously. "Care to help me out?"

"Nah," Gwen said, turning and making her way back to the beach. "The sooner I'm off of this hell-hole, the better."

* * *

"Three... two..." Chris counted down. The Chef blew on a trumpet, catching the attention of everyone on the beach. "Thank you, Chef. Screaming Gaffers, your thirty minute lead is over. So Trent, dude, get castling."

"Water!" Izzy suddenly proclaimed. "We need water!" She grabbed a bucket and immediately took off.

"I'll hit the mountain stream!" Lindsay declared.

"Or we could use the lake," Beth pointed out.

"Oh, I know, I know!" Izzy cried as she ran back past the others. "Let's ask the bear! I bet he's got a lotta water we can use!"

"Quiet!" Trent yelled. This captured the attention of everyone on his team, forcing them to freeze and stop whatever they were doing. "Look, we need a plan and fast. I'm not going to pretend I know how we're going to beat the other team, so let's just figure out the best way we can at least catch up because running around throwing water and sand together is clearly not going to do us any favors at this point in the challenge. Any ideas?"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Justin - /_Sarcastic._/ "Little Trent mans up. Wow. Even I had goosebumps. And there wasn't a mirror for miles."

* * *

"So when we have the wood all set, I'll steal Chris' hair-gel and apply it on every thing so when we remove the support they won't fall over," Izzy concluded. "And there you have it! Our very own Las Vegas!" The redhead did not really register that the looks she was receiving from the rest of her team was seen as a bad thing.

"Uh, that's not the objective of the challenge, crazy girl," Duncan pointed out.

"It isn't?" Izzy asked, scratching her head. "I thought we're supposed to build a country."

"It's a sand castle building contest, Izzy," Justin groaned. A slight giggle was heard and everyone turned to the source.

"Some thing funny, Beth?" Trent asked.

"It's not a sand castle building contest," Beth explained. "It's a prop sand castle building contest. Any thing goes."

"Oh, I have some any thing!" Lindsay proclaimed, lifting up one of her bags.

"We can make our castle even better than theirs," Beth declared, opening up the bag and pulling out stacks and stacks of magazines. "Every body, tear up these magazines. I'll mix up the pieces with hairspray and voila! Paper maché!"

"Crafty," Justin noted.

"Great idea, Beth," Trent said. "Come on, guys! Let's rip these babies up." The Killer Grips proceeded to rip page after page out of the magazines. Izzy in particular was doing so in a manic pace and fashion, to the point that she was cackling with glee.

* * *

The challenge had turned neck and neck as the Killer Grips managed to make up a lot of time using paper maché to build an design their castle. Chef watched and studied carefully, looking to see if there would be one thing that would make one team stand out over the other to claim victory.

"Say, Gwen," Geoff said, grabbing the attention of his leader. "I don't mean to sound... uh... rude, or some thing. But I get the feeling that Trent is... you know... acting a little odd."

"Odd?" Gwen repeated, raising a confused brow.

"I mean, it's probably nothing," Geoff began to explain. "But I kinda noticed that he's been doing things around the number nine. You know, like he's rubbing that necklace you gave him nine times. He had nine pieces of eggs this morning." He looked over and examined how the Killer Grips were doing in building their prop sand castle. "And he's making nine moats and nine flags."

Gwen looked over to see that Trent was indeed making nine moats and nine flags for his team's prop sand castle. She then looked over Geoff with her brow still raised. "So he does stuff around the number nine," she said, throwing in a shrug for effect. "It's not like it's some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder. Right?"

"Now that you mention it, he's always been doing stuff nine times," Harold said, injection himself into the conversation rather suddenly. "If I reckon correctly, I think it started when he figured out that you might like him."

That statement was what made Gwen feel a little uneasy about the whole thing. "H-He couldn't have possibly been doing all of this... just for me," she attempted to reason. It didn't help that she bit her bottom lip.

"Dudes, I just figured some thing out!" Geoff proclaimed rather cheerfully. "Four letters in your name, five letters in Trent. Put 'em together and what do you get?"

"Nine?" Gwen nearly cried.

She looked over toward him, coincidentally timing it just so that Trent had turned to look over at her at the same time. He reacted rather sheepishly and began to wave. Unconsciously, Gwen counted the number of waves he was giving her. She was very sure that he had waved at her nine times. It turned out she wasn't the only one who was counting.

"You could say you sent him to... Cloud Nine," Geoff said, chuckling heartily as he spoke. The resulted in him receiving a hard punch to the arm from the goth girl. "Ow. Harshness."

"Uh, guys!" Bridgette suddenly called out. "We're gonna need a little help here!"

Gwen, Geoff, and Harold looked over and saw what all the fuss was about. Seagulls had overrun the sand castle Harold had worked so hard supervising. The nerd gasped in horror before running to join Bridgette, DJ, LeShawna, and Heather in shooing them off. But it was becoming a very serious problem as the seagulls hopped about the sand castle, damaging the structure.

"Fly!" Heather hollered at the birds. "Fly!"

"No!" Harold cried. "There's birds in my belfry!" Seconds later, the seagulls finally flew off. But in their wake, the entire sand castle collapsed into one big sand mound. "Dang! They busted my buttresses!" Unfortunately for the Screaming Gaffers, there literally out of time as Chef took one good look at their mound and shook his head.

"We have a winner!" Chris declared. "Beth and the Killer Grips' clever prop... Casa dos Paper maché!" The Killer Grips cheered in victory, having come from behind to escape sure defeat and obtain the win.

"And friendship bracelets!" Beth added to the camera that had been filming Chris. The handsome host merely rolled his eyes and pushed the smaller girl out of the frame.

"Which means we need a new tie-breaker," Chris announced. Then his expression turned sour and looked rather miffed. "And I was hoping for the evening off." Then he sighed and went back to being the host that he was. "Instead, gather ye some wood, campers. For a fire... of the bon variety."

* * *

Trent and Izzy were traveling in the woods, seeing if they could collect any more sticks than they already had to return to their team. Trent suddenly came a stop when he spotted a familiar face collecting some branches.

"Gwen!" he called, grabbing the other's attention. With a smile on his face, he walked over to her. Not really paying attention there was some one else with him. "Hey. Kinda feels like it's been ages since we had any quality time together, huh."

Gwen raised a curious brow. "When you mean together, you mean you and me, right?" she asked.

Trent wasn't sure what she was talking about at first. Then he heard kissing noises behind him. And suddenly remembered that there was some one from his team with him. He looked over at Izzy and crossed his arms over his chest. He did not have to say anything, simply letting his body language tell the redhead all that he wanted to say.

"Oh, you guys want some privacy," Izzy concluded, which she followed with a giggle. "Silly Izzy. Leaving you two alone now." The redhead skipped off, whistling as she went.

Once they were sure that she was gone, Gwen let out a sigh. "Actually, I kinda did want to talk to you about..." she began. Then she paused. Sensing as if there was some thing wrong. She looked over to the tree to her right and glared. "Izzy, I can see you over there!"

"Hey, do you guys mind speaking up?" Izzy asked, hanging upside down from the tree. "Izzy doesn't wanna miss all the juicy bits." She giggled a little until she was hit in the face with a branch thrown by Gwen. Izzy made a goofy face before falling to the ground, presumably in an unconscious state.

With a sigh, Gwen turned back to Trent. Unfortunately, first thing that caught her attention was the sticks he carried. More specifically, the number of sticks he held. "I, uh..." she started to say nervously. "I notice you're carrying... nine... sticks."

"'Course," Trent said in a nonchalant manner. "It's my lucky number."

"I see..." Gwen said, slightly looking away nervously. She then got up and began to leave with whatever branches she managed to gather. "Look, can we talk later? I really need to focus on the game."

"Hey, wait!" Trent called out. But she was already gone before he could say any thing more. Leaving him confused as he scratched his head with a free hand. "Was it something I said?"

"Oh, oh, I know what's wrong," Izzy cried suddenly as she popped up to her feet. "You told her that you had a lucky number and you've been using that throughout the challenge. So you're basically telling her that you're out to beat her brains in. If you wanna make her happy, let her win!"

"Um..." Trent managed to utter, looking even more bewildered than before. "Aren't you supposed to pressure me into beating her?"

"What's it to you?" Izzy responded, sounding more encouraging than pushy. "You have immunity."

"O-kay," Trent said, still unsure he was hearing what he thought he was hearing. A teammate telling him to throw a challenge for the girl he likes. "Maybe we should head back to the others and see how we're doing with the challenge." He turned and started walking back. Picking up a little speed as he went.

Izzy remained in her cheerful demeanor until Trent was out of sight. Then she shifted to looking suspicious. "Hmmm..." she uttered aloud, rubbing her chin. "Trent concerned about relationship with Gwen, but is also concerned about success of team. Still, Trent is unsure about throwing challenge. Meaning Izzy is unsure Trent is the traitor. Izzy must investigate further."

* * *

Exhausted, both teams arrived on the beach with as many sticks and branches as they could gather. It was night time and Chris had them gather in a particular spot. He then clapped his hands twice, cause a number of tiki torches and a fire pit to light up. All of the contestants groaned in disbelief.

"Why'd you bother sending us out to get fire wood?" Heather complained.

"I needed some alone time," Chris stated. "You think these hands manicure themselves?" He flaunted his manicured fingers in front of the queen bee for a moment before resuming with his hosting duties. "Which brings us to the tie-breaking challenge! A Watusi-Twist-Mashed-Potato-Dorky-Old-School-Dance Contest! Teams, choose your best groovier for battle."

"Oh, you gotta pick me!" LeShawna declared, stepping out in front of her team with great determination. "My nickname back home... Le-Shakin'-It!" There were no immediate objections from the rest of the Screaming Gaffers.

"I vote for Trent!" Lindsay said.

"We heard you got some fly moves," Justin added.

"Better you than me," Duncan noted.

"Really?" Trent asked shyly. After seeing the rest of the Killer Grips nod with approval, he shrugged. "Okay... I'll do it."

* * *

Chris pressed the play button on the stereo. The kind of dance music perfectly suited for the beach played as Trent and LeShawna met at the center of the staging area.

"Prepare for a world of pain, son!" LeShawna stated.

"Bring it!" Trent responded.

Hopping back from each other, the two contestants than began to dance. And everyone saw for themselves that it was clearly and completely a one-sided affair. Every one except for two people. The Killer Grips were on the verge of laughing, Duncan in particular, while nearly every one of the Screaming Gaffers had dropped their jaws in horror.

LeShawna was a horrible dancer.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

DJ - "Sh'yeah. I bet I know LeShawna's real nickname back home. Le-Bomb-Ba!"

Heather - "Prima Balleri-No!"

Harold - "Two words: Fun-Ky! What? I loved it."

* * *

"Go Trent!" Beth cheered.

"Shake your lady lumps!" Lindsay called.

Trent continued to dance and dance very well. Of course, when compared to LeShawna, he was a master dancer. He looked over at the Screaming Gaffers and noticed that Gwen looked rather mortified at what she was seeing.

"LeShawna can't possibly be this bad," Bridgette murmured to her goth friend. "Can she?"

Trent continued to look at Gwen for a moment, who had sunk her head in defeat. He then looked over at Izzy, who looked back at him with intrigued anticipation. As if to wonder if he really would throw the challenge. With he sigh, he made his decision.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Trent - "I really didn't like the idea of throwing the challenge as some feeble attempt to win Gwen's attention or even affection. But seeing the way she looked during the dance contest... I couldn't help myself."

* * *

Trent looked around as quickly as he could, trying to avoid letting his wandering eyes give away what he was about to do. Upon finding a stick lying nearby, he made his move. Dancing backwards, he tripped on the stick and twisted. Letting out a light yelp, he fell on his back and clutched his leg. The Killer Grips gasped.

"Dude, get up!" Justin cried.

"Ah!" Trent groaned, still clutching his leg. "I think I've turned my ankle!"

"You've gotta be kidding me," Duncan groaned.

"Come on, Trent!" Izzy called out, playing along perfectly to the act Trent was performing. She started wiggling like a snake, as if doing so would make the music man do the same. "Do something! Do the worm! Do the earthworm!"

Trent, groan and moaning, attempt to move his body about in a dancing motion while remaining on his back. It was a horrible display. One that made LeShawna look like a dancing queen. The Killer Grips were in utter disbelief while the Screaming Gaffers watched in amazement. Even Gwen could not believe what she was seeing. Trent's dancing was stopped when a figure stood over him with arms crossed and an annoyed expression.

"That's not dancing!" Chris declared.

"It's modern," Trent tried to reason. "It's uh... interpretive!"

"I interpret it as sucking," Duncan stated.

"Shut it, Duncan!" Gwen cried, pointing a firm finger at the punk. "At least he's trying for his team. Like the leader that he is."

"Easy for you to say," Duncan responded in frustration. "You're on the other team. We're the one's stuck with him."

"I'm sure the rest of them would rather be with him than with you," Gwen said rather angrily. "From where I stand, all you've been doing from day one is complain and insult your team."

"What's it to you?" Duncan yelled back. "You have no business criticizing us any way. You should be criticizing your teammate for being the horrible dancer that she is."

"Boy, you just jealous cause you don't have the moves like I do," LeShawna proclaimed with a laugh.

"I'm glad I don't," Duncan retorted. "Besides, I have the common sense to know that I'm a horrible dancer. I wouldn't trust me to have to be the one to carry the team's success on my shoulders."

"I bet you would if Courtney wanted you to," Gwen noted aloud. There was no immediate response. Which perked everyone's interest. Gwen grinned and started laughing. "You would! You would dance if Courtney wanted you to!"

Duncan's eyes were shot wide open, the shocked expression clearly pointed upon his face. His eyes darted from one person to another. He came to conclusion that he had just been called out and he could not answer back. It didn't help that he was blushing as soon as Courtney's name was mentioned.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Duncan - /_Pouts and squirms until he finally breaks._/ "Alright! I miss Courtney! Are you happy now?"

Chris - /_Laughs._/ "Spaz."

Gwen - "I guess you can say that I got tired seeing them not confront Duncan with the issue. So I did it for them. And it felt so good watching him squirm like that!" /_Laughs._/

Bridgette - "Did you see the way Gwen broke Duncan? That was amazing!"

LeShawna - "That's my girl! I was just about ready to put that punk in his place myself, but I think she did it better than I would have ever done. You go girl!"

* * *

"Well, now that the fireworks have calmed," Chris chuckled in announcement. "LeShawna and the Screaming Gaffers are the winners. And your reward... the greatest beach party ever pitched!" The Screaming Gaffers cheered in celebration while the Killer Grips hung their heads in defeat. "As for the losing team, please follow me to the bus." Chris was about to say some more when Chef, covered in patches of oil, whispered some thing in his ear. Chris looked annoyed and sighed. "Which is broken. Which means the losers have to stay and watch their rivals gorge on victory. And poi."

The Screaming Gaffers cheered and made their way over to the party. All except Gwen, who stopped after taking a few steps and looked over to Trent. He hopped gingerly along with the rest of the Killer Grips, who were sulking away so that they would not subject themselves to watching another team celebrate, until he too turned to look over at her. The two smiled and then individually made their way off of the beach and into the forest.

* * *

Gwen waited for only a short moment until Trent caught up with her. The first thing she noticed with a curious brow raised was that Trent was walking. Walking as if he had not suffered any sort of injury like he supposedly did minutes before.

"For some one who's turned his ankle, you seem to be walking just fine," Gwen commented.

Trent sheepishly scratched the back of his head with a guilty smile on his face. "I know you really wanted the win," he said.

"I guess..." Gwen admitted with a sigh. Then she walked up and firmly pressed her finger repeatedly against the music man's chest. "But don't you ever do it again. Okay?"

"Okay, I won't," Trent answered with a chuckle.

"I'm serious, Trent," Gwen stated. "It would be unfair to everyone else by not being the team leaders that we're supposed to be. They're the ones who are competing in fear of being eliminated next while you and I have immunity for who knows how long."

"I got it, I got it," Trent proclaimed, throwing his hands up slightly. "I promise I won't throw another challenge."

Gwen sighed in satisfaction. She kept her finger on his chest, lightly running it in circles. Trent did nothing to stop her, rather he smiled. "You know..." Gwen said rather suddenly. "You're a really good dancer."

"Yeah?" Trent asked. "You like that?" He then went about doing a small dance around her, which made her giggle uncharacteristically in girly fashion. He then stopped dancing and gently wrapped his arms around her. She in turn wrapped her arms around his waist. "I dunno why. I just never saw myself that way."

"I think you're a really good dancer," Gwen stated. "That should be enough for you to accept."

"Well, if you say so," Trent chuckled. "Then I guess I really am."

The two looked into each other's eyes for a moment. Then they started to slowly lean their heads toward one another. They were about to close their eyes, until some thing caught both of their attentions. They turned toward it, looking very annoyed.

"Awww!" Izzy whined, hanging upside down from a tree. "Izzy wants to see you two put Geoff and Bridgette to shame!" Seconds later, she was smacked in the face by two branches that had been thrown at her. She made a goofy face before falling onto the ground and was presumably unconscious.

"Where were we?" Gwen asked with a sly grin.

"I think we were right here," Trent answered with one of his own.

They leaned back in and kissed. Gwen let out a loving moan as she brought her hands gently up to the back of his head, as though keeping him from pulling back. Their lips remained locked for a moment before they finally pulled back slightly. They stared into one another's eyes for another moment. Until some thing crossed Gwen's mind.

"You know, I've been meaning to talk to you about some thing," Gwen said.

"Oh?" Trent asked. "What would that be?"

"Your lucky number," Gwen replied.

Trent blinked, looking confused. "Some thing wrong with it?" he asked.

Gwen let out a sigh, looking slightly away from him for a second before turning her gaze back onto him. "Well, I don't necessarily have a problem with some one having a lucky number," she explained. "But you did do a buncha stuff around that number today. Rubbing the necklace nine times. Making nine flags and nine moats for your prop sand castle."

"I guess I got a little carried away with it," Trent chuckled sheepishly, looking quite embarrassed.

"Just tell me you didn't come up with that because when you combine the letters in both of our names you get nine," Gwen stated, sounding as though she was pleading for this to be the case.

"What?" Trent questioned, looking genuinely bewildered. He then began to count off the letters in both there names. "Huh. Never thought of that." He gave out a very nonchalant shrug. As if it was of no real great importance.

"Thank God," Gwen sighed in relief.

"You thought that was the reason why it was my lucky number?" he asked with a slight chuckle.

"I just didn't want to think that you were doing these things because of me," Gwen answered.

"You really want to know why it's my lucky number?" Trent asked gently.

Gwen looked back up into his eyes once more. Seeing that he was far from being as crazy as she was concerned he was on the verge of becoming. Rather he was the guy who was truly himself. Some one she liked very much. "We've got all night," he said in reply. "We're not leaving the island until tomorrow."

"As you wish," Trent chuckled. He led the both of them in a light sway, during which he let her place her head upon his chest as he began to explain the origin behind the number nine being his lucky number. "When I was six years old, my Granddad gave me a ten-wheel toy train for Christmas..."

* * *

Back on the beach, the Screaming Gaffers celebrated in their own individual fashion. Geoff and Bridgette were once more engaged in a game of tonsil hockey. DJ nodded his head along to the beat of the music being played. Harold and LeShawna were both dancing individually. Heather merely stood to the side with her arms crossed. After watching Harold twirl on the ground, she kicked dirt into his face.

"What was that for?" Harold asked as he coughed.

"'Cause you actually have mad skills and dance," Heather answered with a scoff. "We could've used them in the challenge."

"Oh, lighten up," LeShawna said through her dancing. "We won the challenge thanks to my smooth moves!" Heather merely rolled her eyes in annoyance and disbelief.

Meanwhile on the other side of the beach, the Killer Grips sulked. Duncan kicked about whatever he could find on the ground. Lindsay was trying to read what remained of whatever magazine she had left despite having no light to help her read. Justin walked over and sat himself next to Beth, who immediately began to blush in shyness.

"Thanks for winning us the sand castle contest," Justin said to her. "Especially since I blew the surfing challenge. You really saved my bacon... or should I say facon?" This caused the smaller girl to snort a giggle. "Except, I kinda noticed you gave everyone on the team friendship bracelets. Everyone but me. Aren't we friends, Beth?"

"'Course!" Beth cried. She frantically pulled out a bracelet from her arm and handed it over quickly to Justin, her entire body shaking throughout. "Here! It's kinda wet. My palm's a little sweaty."

"Red..." Justin noted as he examined the bracelet he was given. "Nice."

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Izzy - /_Holds notepad and pen in hand._/ "Izzy has concluded the following based on recon of Killer Grips." /_Begins crossing out names._/ "Trent is not a traitor. Already has immunity and would therefore have no need to eliminate threats to success. Besides, more concentrated on relationship with Gwen. Beth is not a traitor. Genuinely wants to be friends with everyone and cares about what they think. Lindsay is not a traitor. Same as Beth and has dental block." /_Taps the notepad with pen._/ "That leaves Justin and Duncan. Justin is a liar and cannot be trusted. Duncan is a punk and mean to everyone because Courtney is not around. One of these two is the traitor. But who..."

Justin - "Let's just say I'll do anything to win this time. Anything 'Oh Beth, I love it. I was thinking, Beth. It could be really good for us if we were in an alliance.'"

Chris - /_Watching from the control room._/ "Wow. Dude is as crafty as he is good-looking. Maybe we're related." /_Laughs heartily at the idea._/ "He wishes."

Justin - "Um... No, Chris. No, I don't."

Chris - /_Switches the screen to Make-Up Confessional off._/ "Poor delusional guy could never even swim in my gene pool. More importantly, tune in next time to watch more... me!" /_Laughs._/ "And a few minutes of Justin, on Total... Drama... Action!" /_Looks off camera._/ "Which one of you geniuses left the two-way mic on?"

* * *

Voted Off - Owen

* * *

While my story isn't necessarily the first to develop the concept of rewriting a season, I feel as though it's been responsible for spawning writers to do the same lately. This is something I've noticed since the first chapter of this story was published as there's been a recent batch of stories that, at least from reading the summary, are rewrites of seasons. One such story is from my good friend **Kobold Necromancer**, whose rewrite of _Total Drama World Tour_ has really gone into a completely different direction. It's very apparent from the start just how different **TDWT: Reducks Redux** is from the original. And I'm not just talking about the title. The changes in my story, on the other hand, are beginning to slowly take shape. Leaving Geoff and Bridgette in as well as eliminating Owen first was just the start. I'm just hoping everything pans out as well as I want them to.

**DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN THE REVIEWS!**

**Next Up:** 3:10 to Crazytown


	4. 3:10 to Crazytown

**Total Drama Action Redux**

a _Total Drama_ fan fiction story

by Lord Akiyama

* * *

**Author's Note:** This is an alternate universe story based around my idea of how the series would have gone. It begins from the episode _Alien Resurr-eggtion_ onward. Some elements are the same as in the show, but the rest is taken in a different direction.

_Total Drama_ and its characters are copyright © of Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network. This story was created purely out of sheer enjoyment so please don't sue. Or throw me off a thousand-foot high cliff into a shark-infested lake. That would so smarts.

* * *

**Chapter Four**

3:10 to Crazytown

* * *

_(Narrated by Chris McLean)_

People have always been drawn to the beauty of the sea...

Ne-ha-ha-ha! But that's not where we were last time.

Lindsay's surfing adventure turned trailer park when a twister ruined her fun. And DJ was stripped bare. Heh-heh-ha-ha. Nice pecks, dude. It was no surprise that Bridgette would use some gnarly moves to secure the win for the Screaming Gaffers. What was surprising was that she wore a two-piece underneath her traditional wet suit. Nice.

Meanwhile, Trent tried to quietly display the fact that he had a lucky number a little too much. Fortunately for the sake of his relationship with Gwen, it wasn't inspired by the number of letters there were when their names were combined and rather from some childhood memory that's too boring to mention here. Beth won over her teammates with her intricately woven friendship. Though the Taj MaHarold was cool, the next challenge went to the Grips with their Casa dos Paper mâché.

Tied at one apiece, the Gaffers were crowned the Watusi winners when Trent "accidentally" twisted an ankle and LeShawna got down! Scoring them a Hawaiian-style luau. Gwen managed to break Duncan into publicly admitting that he missed Courtney while Izzy has narrowed down the list of suspects responsible for Owen's elimination to the punk and a certain male model. If she can only figure out just how close she is to the truth.

With only thirteen left, maybe the Grips will stand a chance this week.

Find out next, on...

TOTAL... DRAMA... ACTION!

_(Cue Theme Song)_

* * *

It was hot. Rather, to say it was hot would be an understatement. It was sweltering. Most, if not all of the contestants could barely do any thing as they either sat up against something laid themselves out on the ground, underneath whatever shade they could find. And even then the shade could do nothing about the increasing temperatures that was being felt by all.

Harold tried to muster whatever strength he had to pull himself up onto the window still of the boys trailer. But the heat was beating him down harder than any thing he had ever felt before. "Too... hot... to... do... any..." he attempted to say before giving up as he collapsed onto the floor.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Harold - /_Slowly pulling himself off the floor and onto desk._/ "My mad skillz are leeching out of me. I can feel it. My mojo isn't sweat proof!" /_Holds his head and falls back onto the ground._/

* * *

There was one person who was not quote sweating it out like the others. Although she was sitting up against a tree trunk all the same. It was just that Gwen found herself coming down with a case of the common cold, as evident by her sneezing.

"I can't be getting a cold in this heat," Gwen complained. She sneezed again, covering her mouth with one of her hands.

"Bless you, babe," Trent said, handing her a water bottle.

"Thanks," Gwen managed to say through a sniffle as she took the water bottle. After taking a sip, she groaned. "Today is so gonna suck. Not only will I have to deal with this heat, not only will I have to deal with Chris, not only will I have to deal with Heather..." She sneezed again. "But now I have to deal with this damned cold."

"Just relax and take it easy," Trent stated, rubbing her nearest arm in a comforting manner. "It's gonna do you no good if you just complain."

"You mean like how it's no good for Duncan?" Gwen noted, cocking her head in the direction of the punk in question. The two shared a light laugh before Gwen found herself sneezing again, cursing once more as a result. "Stupid million dollars..."

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Trent - "I have dated in the past, but I don't think I ever really had a serious relationship with any one until Gwen. It's kinda nerve-wracking having to be on your toes and figuring out what are the right words to say for the right situation."

Gwen - "I wouldn't exactly say that I have been on dates. More like guys treating me to dinner and a show. We haven't really had an official first date yet, but Trent has done well presenting himself as a really good boyfriend. Even if I have to tell him so that he doesn't act so shy about every little thing he does."

* * *

In spite of the heat, Bridgette and Geoff managed to lock lips with all the apparent free time that they have from competing. But while the passion was there, the overbearing temperatures was keeping them from engaging at a level that was typical for the two to be making out at normally.

It also did not help that there was a strange feeling that some thing was squeezed between their chests. They looked down and saw what it was. And frankly, they were not surprised. After all, who else would would their head between the couple's chests wearing night-vision goggles? Although they were curious how the redhead was not sweating under the heat.

"Um..." Geoff managed to utter. "So... you're still spying on your team, Izz?"

"Izzy believes either Duncan or Justin to be the traitor," Izzy whispered in a determined tone.

"What makes you say that?" Bridgette asked.

"Duncan is a jerk and Justin is a liar," Izzy explained rather simply. She then looked around, causing Bridgette and Geoff to lean back quickly as she was still wearing the goggles. "Present position not good enough. Switching to a more secure location to gather recon." She then slowly began to descend down until she suddenly disappeared.

"O-kay..." Geoff said. He looked to his girlfriend. They both shrugged and were about to resume their make out.

Then came the loudest high-pitched scream any one on set could have possibly imagined. All turned toward the source, finding Lindsay in tears as she covered her chest. Then the scene became very complex to all watching when they saw Beth trying to hold back what appeared to be a bewildered looking Izzy.

"Izzy!" Beth managed to cry as she held the redhead back. "What in the world are you doing?"

"It's the perfect hiding place," Izzy replied in a seemingly nonchalant voice.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Lindsay - /_Cries__ and frantically covers chest._/ "What was Irene talking about? Did she misplace some thing earlier and thought it was inside my shirt? She could have just asked, I would have looked for her!"

* * *

While every one had their attention focused on what was going on with Izzy, Chris McLean, dressed as cowboy by simply putting on boots and a hat, glanced about the scenery. He then pointed a gun into the air and fired. The sound of which bringing everyone's attention over to him, many in what he would consider to be hilarious fashion.

"Ow!" Harold cried after his sudden jolt reaction caused his head to be slammed up upon the top of the window frame.

"_AAAAAHHH!_" Beth screamed before looking very upset and angry. "Chris!"

"My cranium," Harold complained, rubbing the top of his head.

"_YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!_" Izzy declared before running off, cackling as she went. Every one looked in her direction for a quiet moment before Chris brought their attention back to him.

"Take it easy," Chris declared. "Guns are loaded with blanks." He blew at the pistol end, which caused some of the smoke from the fired off blank into Harold's direction and causing the nerd to cough. "At least, I'm pretty sure one of them is." Chris laughed rather gleeful as he twirled his pistols and then fastened them into the holsters. He then began speaking in a stereotypical cowboy tone as he addressed the contestants. "Since there's no beatin' the heat, we're goin' west this week! There's a town meetin' at high noon. Be there, or I'll drive ya deadbeats outta town!"

"If you're driving us out of town, can we go to the mall?" Lindsay asked in excitement. She was quite oblivious to the looks she was receiving as a result of her sudden statement.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Heather - "I learned a valuable lesson last challenge. Never put your fate in the hands of others. I was so fortunate that there was both no elimination and Trent's tripping giving us the win. Otherwise, I would have been voted off simply because of LeShawna's horrible dancing. The girls are dead set in eliminating me, so I need to convince the boys to vote differently. But I highly doubt they would vote against the other girls. Which means I need a patsy to be tied with."

LeShawna - /_Fans herself while hands apply make up when hair suddenly puffs into an afro._/ "Ah! Darn humidity." /_Looks off camera with a suspicious brow raised and crosses arms._/ "What'cha think yer lookin' at? Nothin' ta see here!" /_Glares at off-camera crew member who chuckles in response._/

* * *

It was exactly noon when every one arrived at the section of the film lot designed as a setting for a western. Complete with big building signs as a rolling tumbleweed. Although the weather was so hot the tumbleweed got set on fire and turned into ash within a matter of seconds. The contestants were definitely feeling the heat, but then completely forgot about it when they saw LeShawna walking by. Her hair having turned into a giant afro as a result of the humidity. The sight of which was clearly amusing to Heather who giggled. Unfortunately for her, this did not go unnoticed.

"I'm sorry, do you see some thin' wrong with my hair?" LeShawna questioned the queen bee sternly.

"Not from where I'm standing," Duncan said, moving aside some of her hair in the middle so as to give her a good look at him.

"Now that's a great hide place," Izzy proclaimed rather excitedly.

"Say what now?" LeShawna questioned with a bewildered brow raised.

"Listen up, partners!" Chris declared, bringing the attention back to him. "In any good western, there are heroes, outlaws, horses, and pretty dames. The hero defeats the outlaw then rides off into the sunset on the horse."

"What about the pretty dame?" Beth asked curiously.

"None of your beeswax!" Chris answered rather firmly. Before Beth could make any sort of proper reaction, Chris started chuckling and rubbed the top of her head. "Just messin' with ya. They usually hang out in the saloon during the bar brawl."

"Bar brawl," Harold mused thoughtfully. "Cool." The nerd then began to act as though he were in a middle of one. Only his movements were more along the lines of a kung fu film. LeShawna watched this, shaking her head with a smile. Then, Harold found himself tripping over some thing and landing in the water troff.

"Awesome reenactment, Harold," Duncan chuckled. "Ah, most brawls do end up with the loser in the water troff."

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

LeShawna - "Back home, my peeps and I look out fo' each other. Harold may be small and strange, but he's still my peep. Matter of fact, he's my man! I've got my eye on Duncan."

Izzy - "Hmmm... Duncan is a jerk and doesn't like any one here. But then that would mean he would not be able to form alliances with any one. That means..." /_Gasps in realization._/

* * *

Harold emerged from the water troff all damp and wet. He shook his head rapidly, causing the water in his hair to fly off. Most of them splashing upon the chest of a certain male model.

"Oh yeah," Justin said, feeling the cool water hitting his chest. "Feels good."

"Enough with the man candy!" Chris declared. "All eyes on me!" He fired off his pistols into the air a couple more times and then once more twirled them before fastening them back into the holster. All to continuing bringing attention to him. "Time for your first challenge. No cowboy worth spittin' at would go one day without saddle practice. Time to saddle up!"

He cocked his head in the direction of the horse to be used in the challenge. Every one looked over to see positioned over a giant red bullseye on the ground was a very old looking horse eating its meal. And then letting out the kind of fart that would put Owen to shame. Seriously, it was a long rip that lasted at least a good five minutes. And then it let out a quick one shortly afterward.

"That's the best steed we could afford?" Chris asked curiously as he scratched his head.

"You wanna five-star hotel and champagne and caviar fo' breakfast!" Chef proclaimed, punching in numbers on a western-style adding machine. "I gotta cut some where!"

"Dude, it's perfect!" Chris laughed with joy. "Don't change a thing."

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Beth - "Ooo, I love horsies! Justin told me I look like one! He's so..." /_Suddenly realizes that the statement may not have been as complimentary as she had thought._/ "... great..."

Harold - "I spent three summers at Medieval Steve's Medieval Camp. We learned to joust, ride horses, and how to look manly in tights. It's harder than it looks."

Geoff - "Who says a western has to end with a guy on his horse, bra? This is the movies! The guy always gets the girl. If I'm gonna ride off into the sunset, I'm gonna ride with my Schmoopy-Schmoo in my arms."

Bridgette - /_Giggles._/ "Geoff likes to think of himself as a cowboy because of the hat he wears. I guess this is as good of a time as any for him to prove himself to this pretty dame."

Izzy - "I knew it! That liar is responsible for getting my Owen eliminated! It wasn't enough that he was a bad boyfriend, uh-uh. He gets my current boyfriend booted for no good reason! He thinks he's so smart laying low, making poor unfortunate girls do his bidding by flashing his chest at them, and thinking he can get away with it. But he forgot one thing. Izzy is still in the game! I will not rest until Justin pays for what he did to my Owen!"

* * *

"You call this a challenge?" Duncan scoffed as he took a look at the horse. He then began to climb onto it when he was stopped rather suddenly from a familiar voice speaking.

"Not so fast!" Chris announced, speaking in the western voice. "You cowboys and cowbabes are gonna hafta mount the steed from up there." Every one looked up, noticing that there was a barn roughly behind the steed. They looked to the top of it. This only made Chris chuckle. "Not there. Way up there!" Every one looked and realized the handsome host was standing in front of a ladder. The lead to a water tower, the height of which was higher than the barn. And then they noticed another ladder attached to it. One that went well above the height of the water tower. It was really high up before they finally managed to spot a diving board attached to the top of the ladder.

"Ooo, fun!" Izzy squealed with excitement.

"Since the Gaffers won last week, they go first," the handsome host added. None of the Gaffers were particularly thrilled to hear this. "Don't worry, our unpaid interns have assured us it's safe."

* * *

"No, no, no!" the intern cried, trying to hang on for dear life. But the stomping on his hands by Chef were too much and he soon plummeted to the ground with a loud thud.

"Looks safe to me," Chef said, snickering in a sinister manner.

* * *

"We won last week," Gwen stated in defense. "Why do we have to go first?"

"Because I said so," Chris answered in his obnoxiously gleeful manner that he was so proud of. "And I'm your host." He looked to the camera and smiled. "Chris McLean." He teeth sparkled.

The Screaming Gaffers looked upon the challenge very nervously. Then they heard Gwen sneezed. Seeing their leader look sick made them even more concerned. "You okay, Gwen?" Bridgette

"Damned cold," Gwen grumbled. "I really think I'm coming down with something."

"Fear not, oh great leader," Geoff proclaimed in a rather heroic fashion. "We'll help you up the ladder."

"Geoff!" Bridgette cried in an appalled tone that caught her boyfriend off-guard. "You should be ashamed of yourself. Forcing poor sick Gwen to do the challenge in her condition."

"There ain't no way any'o'y'all are gonna make my girl go up that ladder," LeShawna stated firmly, placing an arm around the shoulders of the goth girl in question.

"Well, if you don't want to climb up that ladder and risk life and limb in the hope of landing on this here horse, that's your call," Chris began to respond. "I mean, we can't make you if you don't want to. But it does give the other team, those who dared to take the plunge, and perhaps on the off chance succeed in landing on the horse. And then that would mean they would claim victory and the so called leader of the bunch, who chickened out because she had a cold, has to live with the fact that, despite her past acclaims, did not give it her all regardless of the conditions set before her."

There was a quite period in which no immediate reaction was made. Then Gwen groaned. "Goddamned guilt trip..." she muttered.

"Come on, Chris," Trent "I'm sure you could allow some leeway on this one. She's clearly sick and if she sits out, it'll even out the number of Gaffers we have to contend against."

"Hmmm..." Chris uttered aloud, giving the idea some serious thought as he stroked his chin. "That is a fair point you make there. But I like the idea of Gwen trying to compete while under the weather better."

"You one sick bastard!" LeShawna huffed.

"I'm not the sick one," Chris pointed out gleefully. "Gwen is."

"Jerk," Gwen cursed. She then looked up at the ladder and sighed in defeat before walking toward it. "Wish me luck." The Screaming Gaffers tried to cheer her on. Only they knew there really was nothing to be cheerful about, watching her sulk as though she was approaching her own funeral.

"We're going to need a new team captain," Heather muttered quietly aside.

"I heard that!" Gwen yelled.

* * *

Gwen gingerly pulled herself over the last step and onto the board. Slowly, she crawled along to the very end and dared herself to look over in a feeble attempt to figure out how exactly she was going to accomplish the task. Recognizing just how high in the air she was got to her and she pulled back slightly, closing her eyes and shaking her head in hope that it would bring her back to her senses. She blanched when she heard some thing that clearly did not make her feel comfortable.

"Break a leg, Gwen!" Izzy yelled in trying to sound encouraging.

"Izzy!" Trent yelled in disapproval.

"Can you please control the Psycho Hose Beast on your team?" Heather yelled back in question.

"We have a hard enough time doing so for our benefit, I doubt we'd be able to do so for yours!" Duncan yelled in response.

"Shut up!" Gwen cried. She had now reached the point of panicking and got up. "I can't do this!" She turned, intending to call it quits and get down from the bloody thing. It was just rather unfortunate that she suddenly had a sneezing attack that sent her flying backward and off of the board.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Harold - /_Writing equations on a notepad._/ "Acceleration equals mass times the gravitational constant occasional equational..." /_Looks up at camera._/ "Not good, people. Not good."

* * *

Gwen screamed as she found herself plummeting to what was certain doom. All the others could was watch and pray that she managed to arrive at a safe conclusion, regardless of whether or not it meant landing on the horse. Before long, Gwen finally did land upon something. And it seemed like a miracle as she managed to land upon the horse. Although she looked far from relieved, given how one would have to land on the horse.

"Ooo, harshness," Geoff uttered in a quiet painful tone.

"Heh-Ha-Ho!" Chris cheered. "That was awesome, Gwen!"

"You okay, girl?" LeShawna asked, seeing that Gwen had not once removed the sour look on her face.

Gwen did not move for a moment until she finally started to tip. She fell over to one side. Where Trent managed to catch her into his arms just in time before she could crash onto the ground. She did let out a slight hiss of pain upon landing in his arms.

"I gotcha, Gwen," Trent said in a comforting tone.

"My left arm feels funny..." Gwen managed to whimper.

"Just make sure no one moves that arm of hers and she'll be fine," Chris said rather suddenly. He was tapping his foot rapidly and looking down at a pocket watch he had in his hand. Clearly wanting things to proceed faster than they were at the present moment. "Let's get-a-movin' here, people. Grips, you're up!"

* * *

Trent took a deep breath before closing his eyes and leaping off of the platform. It was probably a bad idea that he closed his eyes as every one else could see that his aim was way off. When he landed, they all winced in pain and horror. Trent hand to clench his teeth together to keep from screaming out. He then took his time removing himself from the wooden fence post.

"Ooo, glad it wasn't me," Chris commented with a chuckle. "Gaffers one, Grips zip."

"Nice landing," Duncan noted sarcastically as Trent slowly walked past him.

"Just... missed... it..." Trent managed to whisper quietly.

"Oh, you missed it alright," Duncan said. "You missed the horse big time and landed on a wooden fence."

"Not... talking... about... that..." Trent clarified as best as he could.

All Duncan had to do was blink once and he figured out exactly what Trent was talking about. "Ah," the punk uttered, nodding his head once slowly. "I see. Guess every thing's good then."

"Ha... ha..." Trent scoffed, or rather as best as he could under the circumstances.

"Gaffers are next," Chris announced. He started to stroke his chin as he looked about those within the Screaming Gaffers who had yet to jump. "Who shall I pick? Harold! You're up."

* * *

Harold let out a yell as he fell downward from the platform. Moments later, he landed and found himself upon the horse. Sensing that he was not in a whole lot of pain, he pumped his fist in victory. "Wicked!" he cried.

The glorious moment did not last as he suddenly found himself being crashed upon. He was just barely hanging to one side while Duncan sat triumphantly upon him and in a perfect position upon the horse.

"Way to pad the saddle, Duncan," Chris commented with a chuckle. "It's now Gaffers two, Grips one."

"I think you broke my coccyx!" Harold cried in pain.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Heather - "Ah, the perfect patsy. My good friend, Harold. If Duncan doesn't bully him into oblivion, at least he'll be softened up for me to take him out for good."

LeShawna - "I'd like one good reason why that punk-haired, skull-shirted wanna-be keeps picking on poor Harold!"

Duncan - "You wanna know why I pick on Harold? Here's a hint. She's about yay tall, has beautiful brown hair, and can tear you limb from limb." /_Playback skips ahead a few seconds._/ "No, it's not a bear. It's Courtney. Harold got Courtney booted last season. Yep. Payback's a bi-" /_Playback cuts off._/

* * *

"Okay," Bridgette muttered to herself aloud, taking a deep breath. "This should be no problem. Just like that first challenge from the first season." The surfer girl jumped off the platform in a swan dive motion. Halfway down, she rotated her body so that she would land on the horse in a sitting position. Unfortunately, the rotation caused her to also shift the direction of her descent from straight down to toward the barn. "Oh crap!" Seconds later, there was a loud thump in a pile of hay that sat outside the barn.

"If this had been a diving challenge, I'd given her a ten," Chris commented with a chuckle.

"Babe!" Geoff cried, rushing immediately to where his girlfriend landed and frantically searching for her in the hay. "Babe! Are you alright?" Quite suddenly and without warning, Geoff found himself being struck on the chin and nearly knocked out by a leg that popped out unconsciously from the hay.

"Oops!" Bridgette gasped in horror upon seeing what she accidentally did. "I'm so sorry!"

* * *

"Weeeeeeeeee!" Izzy squealed, leaping off of the platform as if to perform a belly-flop. Her excited sounds caused the horse to look up with worry before deciding at the last second to back away. This resulted in Izzy crashing stomach first onto the ground. Izzy coughed a little and looked up at the horse. "Wait, wait, lemme do that again! I'll nail it this time!"

The others watched with a mixture of raised brows, curled lips, and concerned looks in their eyes as Izzy began chasing after the horse. It did not help that she was cackling along the way. Whenever she appeared to get close, she would jump only for the horse to pick up enough speed to avoid the redhead from landing upon her. This went on and on for a good while.

"Normally I would say some thing to mock all of this," Chris noted in a disturbed tone. "But frankly I'm finding every thing that Izzy is doing today really creepy. So I'll just stick with noting that the Gaffers are still up two-to-one on the Grips."

* * *

DJ, very fearful of just about everything, was whimpering and on the verge of tears as he floated down from the platform. Using a makeshift parachute, it seemed he was on to some thing and would make a nice gentle landing on the horse. Unfortunately for him, a strong wind blew and set him on a direct path away from his target and into some thing less comfortable.

"Not the electrical wires!" DJ cried because he was cut off by a series of lights and electrical sounds being shown and heard respectively to the others.

"Uh, Chris?" LeShawna asked in a concerned tone. "You are gonna send some one to help DJ, right?" Chris was about to laugh rather heartily at the question when...

* * *

**(Control Room)**

Chris - /_Reads a statement in an unenthusiastic manner._/ "We here at... Total... Drama... Action... care about the health... and welfare... of our... competitors... Furthermore... no animals were hurt... in the making of this show."

* * *

"Uh, it says right here, page thirty-seven of my Glutius Maximus Modeling contract, I am forbidden from any form of jumping that might strain my, uh... assets," Justin announced rather sheepishly, holding up his contract for all to see. "Huh. Sorry!" Both Trent and Duncan glared at the male model for pulling such a stunt to get out of the challenge. They weren't alone.

"Liar!" Izzy yelled, pointing her finger at Justin. She then began trying to push him toward the ladder with great force. The sight of which causing Lindsay and Beth to gasp in horror as they watch helplessly. "Izzy's gonna make you get up that ladder!"

"Can some one get her off of me?" Justin cried, digging his heels into the ground to keep her from pushing him any further.

"You're not gonna get outta this one!" Izzy proclaimed. This was in-spite of Duncan and Trent finally coming about to drag her away from the male model.

"I am not jumping," Justin stated, crossing his arms firmly.

"Shame for your team, dude," Chris noted. "Still behind two-to-one."

* * *

"Yee-haw!" Geoff cheered as he jumped down from the platform. He landed upon the horse, who into turn suddenly stood up in a posing stance while Geoff proudly put his hat on. The Screaming Gaffers cheered wildly for this, none more so than Bridgette.

"Best landing yet, if you ask me," Chris commented with a chuckle. "That puts the Gaffers up three-to-one."

"Thanks a lot, beauty queen," Duncan grumbled to Justin, who purposely ignored him.

* * *

Not wanting to lose, Trent and Duncan put pressure on Beth and Lindsay to make the jump as opposed to backing out like Justin. It was more of Trent's calm approach than Duncan's threats that finally made them climb the ladder on the condition that they would get to jump together as doing so individually was too scary for them.

"If I go to that big beauty parlor in the sky, don't let Heather have my hair, okay?" Lindsay asked.

"On no, never!" Beth assured. Then she thought for a second. "Uh, can I have your hair if you die?"

"I don't think so," Lindsay replied firmly.

The two girls jumped together and screamed in unison as they fell downward. They continued to screaming, clinging to one another, until they landed. They opened their eyes and found that they had landed upon the horse in a sitting position. This resulted in them squealing with joy.

"Alright!" Chris chuckled with amusement. "Grips and Gaffers are now tied at three each." Trent and Izzy cheered while Duncan and Justin merely sighed with relief. The punk found time to glare at the male model again for skipping out on the challenge though. The handsome host turned his attention to the Screaming Gaffers, in particular Heather and LeShawna. "It's up to you two to break the tie. Who wants to take one for the Gaffers?"

"After you, teammate," LeShawna said, pushing Heather toward the ladder. Heather glared back in hatred.

* * *

"Why is it that we hafta stare at yo navel all day?" LeShawna complained aloud as the two girls made their way up the ladder and toward the platform. "Put a shirt on!"

"Oh, oh, right, right," Heather began to retort back as she hoisted herself onto the platform. "Because we all love looking at those kumquats on your mall kiosk T-shirt!"

"Least I have hair," LeShawna responded back as she pulled herself up.

"Your afro is so big, it has its own gravity," Heather scoffed.

"Oh, I'll give you gravity," LeShawna huffed. She then marched over and pushed Heather off of the platform. However, Heather quickly reacted and grabbed one of LeShawna's wrists, pulling her down as well. The two girls screamed as they plummeted down from the platform.

But then the screaming stopped. Every one looked around, wondering what could possibly have happened as they did not see either LeShawna or Heather landing on any thing. This moment of silent searching went on for what most of the others believed to be too long. Making them very anxious.

"Where'd they go?" Bridgette asked Chris with concern.

The handsome host chuckled and pointed up. Everyone look up at the water tower. "Not there," Chris said with another laugh. "Way up there!" He then pointed over to the barn. Every one looked and saw that Heather and LeShawna were indeed up there. Only they were further up above the roof of the barn, hanging by their pants on a roof ornament. And that was when every one noticed that LeShawna's pants were beginning to rip.

"Uh oh!" LeShawna managed to utter before the rip was large enough to cause her to fall. Then some thing rather miraculous happened. Landing on her head, her afro cushioned the fall. What's more, it caused her to bounce up slightly so she could land on her feet. LeShawna looked up at Heather and taunted proudly. "Ha! Bet you're not laughing at my hair now!"

"Well, I guess you showed her," Chris managed to say with a chuckle. "And by her, we mean our entire viewing audience!" LeShawna looked at him with a questioning brow raised. He pointed, allowing her to see that her pants hand been ripped down enough to expose her entire backside. Harold immediately rushed over and covered it with whatever he could find while LeShawna growled furiously at the handsome host, who merely continued to laugh gleefully. "Looks like the teams are still tied at three apiece! To the next challenge for the tie-breaker, cowfolks!"

Chris led the contestants off away and onward to another area of the set. Seemingly oblivious to the idea that perhaps some one was being left behind. Some one who might still be stuck on the roof ornament.

"Some body better get me down now!" Heather screamed. "Hello! Any one?"

* * *

Some time later, after Heather was recovered and had rejoined the others, the group stood in a line and watched as Chris approached them in typical western fashion. By simply tipping his hat. "The hallmark of any good western is the quick draw cowboy showdown!" the handsome host announced. "Captains will pick their strongest cowfolk to compete in what will likely be... a fight to the death! Ha-ha!" Suddenly, a cell phone rang. Which Chris promptly answered. "Y'ello! ... Uh-huh... I see... Fine..." He hung up and sighed. "Our lawyers have informed me that you may shoot until someone is mildly injured or cries like a little baby. But a fight to the death is strictly prohibited. Time to pick your cowboys!"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Heather - "I think I can convince DJ and Geoff to vote against Harold. They did enjoy helping Duncan pick on the Alpha Geek last season, so it shouldn't be too hard to talk them into giving Harold the boot. Now I just need to convince Harold to vote for some one other than me. But who..."

Izzy - /_Ripping up various pictures of Justin._/ "No good liar! He wasn't even hot! How crazy am I to have dated him in the first place? Oh, he's going to pay! And now that I know he's the one who got my Owen booted, he's really going to pay!"

* * *

"Well, I think it's pretty obvious who to pick from our team," Trent stated with the others nodding in agreement. Every one on the Killer Grips then turned their attention to the punk in question.

"Now this is my kind of challenge," Duncan said, cracking his knuckles.

"You think you can pull this off, Geoff?" Gwen asked the party dude.

"No worries, dudette," Geoff replied confidently. "I've never lost to my brothers at these kinds of games."

* * *

Some time had passed. Most every one else were either sitting upon or leaning against a nearby wooden fence. Duncan and Geoff stood near one another. Waiting for the challenge to begin. Although it would also help that they had the water pistols.

"So... are we just gonna stand here, or what?" Duncan questioned sarcastically.

"It seems some one... coughChefcough... has misplaced the water pistols that you're supposed to have," Chris answered.

"I know I left 'em 'ere," Chef muttered as he searched about the area, looking for the water pistols.

"_BANZAI!_" Izzy cried suddenly, catching every one off guard. Seconds later, she fired the water pistols at Justin's rear end.

"What the hell!" Justin yelled. Clearly he was not prepared to be fired upon, let alone be fired upon with ice cold water.

"Take that!" Izzy yelled, continuing to fire at the male model. "And that! And that, you no good yell'a belly'd varment!" She started cackling and kept going until there was no more water left in the pistols. Every one stared at her with mixtures of bewilderment and disbelief. She had clearly gone well off the deep end.

"Izzy!" Chris whined. "We needed that water for the quick draw cowboy showdown!"

"Don't look at me," Chef stated sternly, crossing his arms over his chest. "I ain't luggin' up any more water."

"He so deserved it," Izzy proclaimed, unaffected by the looks she was getting.

"Okay, new challenge!" Chris announced in frustration, marching off to figure out how to salvage the situation.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Duncan - "Izzy is now on a whole new level of insanity. I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up burning down the whole film lot tomorrow just because it seemed like a good idea. I actually wouldn't mind if she did that, but I would be stuck in the middle of the inferno. If we lose, I'm voting her butt off before she gets me killed."

Beth - "How could Izzy call Justin a liar? The Justin I know doesn't lie. She sounds as if they used to date and I know that's some thing that could never have happened."

Lindsay - "Why was Isabel spraying water on Justin's butt?" /_Gasps._/ "Was there some thing there that wasn't supposed to be there? Like a bug?" /_Screams and stands up to check her back side for bugs._/

* * *

"Hey, Izzy!" Trent called, chasing down the redhead while every one else tried to take advantage of this unexpected break period by cooling off. "What's gotten into you today? You're not... your usual self."

"Oh, I'm not being my usual self?" Izzy questioned in a sarcastic tone. "I'm the crazy girl and I'm acting crazy. Sounds like I'm being my usual self to me." She then crossed her eyes together, stuck out her tongue, and made strange noises.

"That's not what I meant," Trent said, trying to act calm and friendly. "Being... eccentric... is part of your personality, and that's fine. But you're usually the type who's very... positive. Being excited about stuff even if the rest of us are worried sick. You haven't been like that today." Izzy stopped with her antics to pause for a moment and then listened attentively to her leader. "It's like you're lashing out about some thing and making Justin the target."

"That's because he's a liar and a traitor," Izzy stated, on the verge of yelling. "He got my Owen eliminated!"

"Okay, okay, just calm down," Trent said, quickly trying to calm her back down. "You think Owen was unfairly voted off and suspect Justin being responsible. I'm not going to try to change your mind about that. But you're letting that overwhelm you into becoming more... eccentric... than before. And in a negative way. You're making a case for the others to simply vote you off."

"So what," Izzy said, crossing her arms firmly over her chest. "They all think Izzy's too crazy any way and therefore won't listen to Izzy about Justin. Why should Izzy be of use to them if they won't take Izzy seriously?"

"Because I'm sure Owen would want you to keep going," Trent answered. One that caught the redhead a little off-guard before finally giving the music man her full attention. "I'm sure he's sitting wherever they're having all the losers stay at and hoping that you would make it all the way. Just like I did for Gwen last season."

"You think so?" Izzy she asked after thinking about what she was told for a moment.

"I'm certain," Trent replied. "Just as I'm certain that he wants you to do your best and win every challenge. And I'm also certain that he wants you to be the positive eccentric girl he really likes. So what do you say? Will you help us out? For Owen?"

Izzy stared at Trent for a moment, not giving a hint of how she would respond. Then she formed a smile that certainly was eccentric on her lips and giggled. "Izzy likes you," she stated. "If it wasn't so obviously that you and Gwen were meant to be and that I have my Owen, I would kiss you and rip your clothes off." She then skipped off, leaving Trent in a bewildered state.

"Um... thanks?" Trent managed to utter, scratching the back of his head as he watched her off with a confused brow raised.

Trent turned and was about to make his way back to join the others when he was noticed that he was not quite alone. Leaning against the other side of a nearby corner he found a certain goth girl with a smirk on her face. No doubt she listened to most, if not all of the conversation he just had with Izzy. After a moment, she pushed herself to a full standing position and walked over to him. She lightly tapped his cheek a couple times with her hand and widened her lips to a grin.

"Maybe I should do that last part some time, eh handsome?" Gwen said before walking off.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Trent - "Well... That was... quite... some thing..." /_Scratches the back of his head and blushes._/

Gwen - "Me? Ripping Trent's clothes off?" /_Pauses and then grins wickedly._/ "I wouldn't mind seeing more of his chest..."

* * *

Every one gathered around Chris once he had returned. The Killers Grips to his right and the Screaming Gaffers to his left. He appeared to look much happier than he did moments ago. "Since Izzy ruined the last competition, your final challenge of the day will be calf roping," he announced with a big smile on his face.

"Where the cute little baby cows at?" DJ asked, looking around for the cattle to be rounded up.

"There aren't any," Chris replied with a chuckle. This was where every one knew that the handsome host had some thing up his sleeve. "Grips are the cowboys, Gaffers are the cattle. The cowboys rope the cattle, they win. The cattle dodge the cowboys, they win." The Grips found themselves liking the idea, in particular Duncan. The Gaffers merely groaned in frustration.

"How do we know who's who?" Beth asked curiously.

"Grips get to wear these stylin' cowboy hats," Chris began to answer, pulling up a pair of hats in his right hand. He started to chuckle again. "Gaffers get to wear... udders!" He laugh heartily as he pulled up the udder in his left.

"You just had to ask," Heather grumbled at Beth as an udder hat was thrown to her.

"Sorry," Beth said, although she was clearly not as she had trouble containing her amusement. "But I bet you'll look really cute in the hat, Heather. 'Udderly' adorable." She giggled some more and snorted, ignoring the glare Heather was giving her.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Harold - /_Wears cow udders, chuckles._/ "I have cow boobies on my head!"

Heather - /_Wears cow udders, looking miffed and grunts._/ "Stupid million bucks..."

* * *

"Would the cattle care for some hay?" Chris asked, continuing to gleefully display his amusement after the contestants had put on their hats. There was no question the fun he was having of seeing the majority of them looking as embarrassing as they did.

"Very funny, Chris," Heather growled.

"It is, isn't it," Chris noted with another chuckle. "Chef will now judge the competition. Yo, Chef!" When the big man came out, nearly all the contestants groaned in horror. Most had covered their eyes for the obvious reason that Chef wasn't just wearing a dress. He was wearing a see-through dress. Chris found it even more hilarious. "Love the dress, Chef-ette."

Chef growled and decided that he had had enough.

* * *

"Maybe when I change, I'll come back and untie you," Chef stated, wiping his hands in satisfaction and walking off.

Every one else looked at Chris, who was tied down to a post from shoulder down to his knees. He merely glared off in the direction Chef left through. "Guess some one's not gonna get a recommendation for a raise," the handsome host said before shifting his attention back to the contestants. "Let the calf roping begin!"

Not really sure if he meant that the challenge had started, the Gaffers shrugged and started running off. The Grips watched all this, shrugged, and then went off after them, twirling their lassos above their heads. After the contestants went to chase each other about, Chris began to struggle in getting himself out of his predicament.

The Grips went off the catch the nearest Gaffer they could run up against. Justin tried to lasso Heather, but ended up overshooting and missing her completely. Fortunately, he wasn't the only one gunning for the queen bee.

"Yee-haw!" Beth cried as she threw her lasso and successfully captured Heather, pulling her down to the ground.

"Where did you learn to do that?" Heather questioned in shock.

"Baton twirling, cow roping," Beth began to answer as she tightened the rope around Heather. "All in the twist of the wrist."

DJ had watched Beth's roping skills in amazement. Forgetting completely that he was a cattle and was suddenly pulled down when he realized he had been roped by the ankles. Upon crashing, he looked up to see his captor.

"For a big guy, you're pretty unstable," Duncan noted with a chuckle.

"And that's two cows down," Chris announced, having managed to escape his rope prison and was back to commentating the challenge has it happened. "Five more to go."

Lindsay chased after LeShawna. With great determination, she threw her lasso at the other girl. Only she was not really paying attention as the lasso ended up wrapped around a post. Lindsay had no idea this was the case until, during her chasing LeShawna, she felt a hard tug that pulled her back. In the process, she found herself getting all tied up from the momentum.

"None of this would be happening if Chris had taken me... ugh... to the mall, like he promised!" Lindsay complained.

* * *

Trent found himself cornering Gwen. As he promised, he did not hold back or throw the challenge. Only she was not holding back either as she would dodge his lasso motions. Fortunately for him, he was able to quickly alter the motion of the lasso to keep pace with the goth girl. They kept at it for some time until Trent felt the lasso tighten. Unfortunately, it was not around Gwen.

"Nice moves," Trent said in compliment.

"Same to you," Gwen responded with a grin. "Too bad you're all tied up."

"Huh?" Trent uttered. He looked down and realized that he had indeed tied himself up before follow over and nearly crashing on his face. He looked up to see his girlfriend blow a kiss at him and then take off.

"She's good," Beth noted aloud as she approached Trent.

"Yes, she is," Trent said with a chuckle.

* * *

"Can't catch me!" Harold proclaimed proudly as he ran. "Can't catch me!"

"You're just begging for it now, four-eyes!" Duncan announced as he popped up from behind a pile of hay. Harold was caught off-guard long enough for the punk to lasso him and then quickly wrap the rope around every inch of the nerd's body. Once Harold was on the ground, Duncan placed a foot on him in victory. "So what now, huh? You gonna go medieval camp on me?"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Harold - /_Roped from head to toe, struggles to get out._/ "I can get out of this any time." /_Continues to struggle._/

* * *

As Trent finished freeing himself of his lasso, he found another having been thrown upon him. He looked over and found that it was Lindsay who was responsible. And she looked quite happy about it.

"Gotcha, cowboy!" Lindsay cheered.

"Lindsay, I'm on your team," Trent tried to explain. "Rope the cattle. You know, the people with udders?"

"Ha-ha-ha, you're funny!" Lindsay stated in laughter, having clearly forgotten how the game was played.

* * *

The Grips chased after the remaining Gaffers for what seemed like a long while. After creating some distance, the Gaffers stopped and took note on the pile of rope that had previously been used to tie Chris down to a post. An idea came into their heads and immediately picked them up, proceeding to turn the tables on the Grips.

"They can't do that, can they?" Duncan questioned as he and the rest of the Grips found themselves being chased after by the seemingly more experienced and talented Gaffers.

"I guess it's a better way to win the challenge than to simply dodge all day," Chris responded with a shrug.

Gwen successfully captured Lindsay while Bridgette and LeShawna captured Trent and Beth respectively. Duncan and Justin separated as they tried to avoid getting captured by the others. Only Justin found that Geoff was hot on his trail.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Justin - "I just found out I have a new neck modeling contract. Apparently, I have excellent tendons." /_Stretches his neck out for the camera to see._/ "See? See, check it out. You like that?"

* * *

Justin found himself cornered and turned to Geoff in a panic. "Not the face!" the male model cried. "Or the neck, hands, feet, legs, knees, or any thing in the chestal region!" Seconds later, he dropped down into a fetal position. Geoff merely shrugged and gently tossed the lasso onto him.

"Got'cha!" Geoff stated. "That was too easy, bra."

Moments later, Duncan found himself boxed in by Gwen, Bridgette, and LeShawna. The three girls slowly circled around him, waiting for him to make the first move. Which turned out to be a mere step in any direction. Once that happened, all three attacked and successfully had him tied up in their lassos. The Gaffers began to cheer on their victory.

"Well, what do we have here?" Chris commented with a chuckle. "The cattle have roped the cowboys." He then looked around and scratched his head before turning back to the others. "Only there's one missing."

"They're all here, right?" Heather questioned. "Who could possibly be missing?"

The Gaffers looked about their captured opposition. Then they finally realized some thing. "Izzy!" the all cried. Seconds later, a giant lasso dropped down and tied up every one. All of the Gaffers, all of the Grips, even Chris and Chef. Every one looked to see the one person who clearly was not tied up sitting upon the platform from the previously challenge.

"That's my steak, pilgrim!" Izzy proclaimed, impersonating a certain western genre icon.

"It certainly is," Chris noted as he managed to slip out of the lasso and address the contestants. "Thanks to a remarkable comeback from an even more remarkable source, the Killer Grips win!" The Grips cheered in celebration, finally getting a much needed victory. "You Gaffers are losers! And you know what happens to losers?" Chris walked over to a fire put and pulled out a branding iron. "Which Gaffer wants to take the heat?" Every one gasped in horror until Chris laughed and threw the branding iron back into a water troff. "Just kidding. Legal says branding's out. Guess I have to settle for booting one of the Gaffers, save for Gwen, off in the most exciting Gilded Chris Ceremony ev'a! Now, go shower. You stink!"

* * *

Harold stood in the water barrel, making sure that he was careful in washing his hair. Ignoring the fact that most every one else was waiting on him to finish and they were getting very impatient.

"Hurry up, Harold!" Lindsay cried.

"Yeah, I have to pee real bad!" Izzy add. She was oblivious to the disgusted looks those around gave her.

"That is so gross!" Lindsay cried again.

"The barrel's not chlorinated, Izzy," Bridgette noted.

"It's not?" Izzy questioned then became crestfallen. "Oh poo! Guess I'll have to go lumberjack style." She began to squat down and was about to roll up the end of her towel when most of the other girls screamed.

"Could you please do that behind a shed or any other place private, please?" Bridgette asked in a frantic manner.

"Alright, sheesh," Izzy sighed, rolling her eyes as she got up and walked off to find some place to go to the bathroom at.

Despite all of this, Harold continued on washing his hair at his pace. Finally, the first person waiting in line got fed up. That person happened to be Duncan. The punk grabbed the barrel and started shaking it about.

"But I haven't finished suddzing my hair!" Harold cried, trying to keep the barrel still. Unfortunately, he did not have the weight or the strength to fight off Duncan as he found himself pushed over and falling to the ground. "Ugh! Ow! Soap in my eyes!"

"That's it!" LeShawna hollered, catching every one off-guard. She then suddenly grabbed Duncan by his neck collar and with full force shoved him up against the nearest wall.

"What the hell?" Duncan uttered in shock.

"You be pickin' on my Ginger Biscuit fo' the last time!" LeShawna proclaimed with great anger and fury.

"Your what?" Duncan uttered, still shocked and becoming even more confused over what was happening to him.

"You have a problem with my man, you have a problem with me!" LeShawna stated sternly.

"You mean we're going out again?" Harold asked, immediately standing right beside her with his eyes wide open with joy upon hearing what he thought he was hearing.

"Of course, baby," LeShawna replied rather lovingly and giving him a smooch on the cheek, causing him to swoon.

"What?" Heather cried in horror.

"Oh my gosh, that's wonderful guys!" Bridgette squealed happily.

"Alright, Harold!" Geoff cheered. Even DJ, Beth, and Lindsay were excited by the news.

"You gotta be kidding me," Duncan uttered in disbelief.

"So I dare you to mess with my Ginger Babycakes again," LeShawna said, bringing her attention back to the punk she had pressed roughly up against the wall. "I double dare you. Cause that'll give me all the excuse I need to rip them piercin's off yer brow and shove them right up your rectum. You dig?"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Harold - /_Completely nude._/ "I'm back together with my Chocolate Goddess! I'm so lucky I can hardly contain myself!"

LeShawna - /_Smiles._/ "What can I say? The little String Bean knows how to woo a fine lady like me."

Duncan - /_Groans._/ "Great. Just great. First I gotta hang about with a buncha losers without Princess to play along with and now my one guaranteed source of fun has himself a bodyguard. I knew trying to win a million bucks was gonna be tough, but I didn't think it was gonna be this tough. Just how much worse can things possibly get?"

Heather - /_Panics._/ "No, no, no! This can't be happening! DJ and Geoff love the idea that Harold is hooking back up with LeShawna! And since they're so tight with the other girls, now there's no way in hell they'll vote for him without making them upset! And that stupid dweeb is so caught up in that Big-Butted Loud-Mouthed Mall-Shopping Homegirl, he doesn't even register the presence of any one else! I'm screwed!"

* * *

"You two should be groveling at my feet for being able to have your own private showering room, being Captains of your respective teams," Chris said to Gwen and Trent. The three were standing before the shower room that looked vaguely familiar to the one they had back on the island. "The money used to pay for it was intended to be Chef's raise until he tied me up earlier. So enjoy your shower time. Together. Alone."

"Pervert," Gwen scoffed.

"No respect, teenagers these days..." Chris muttered, rolling his eyes as he walked away. Once they were sure the handsome host was far beyond hearing range, Gwen and Trent turned to one another.

"So..." Trent began to say. "Do you want to shower first?" There was no immediate response. In fact, he noticed that she was not quite looking at him in the eye. She was looking at another part of his body instead. "Gwen?"

"Huh?" Gwen uttered, bring her back to focus as she shook her head. "Sorry. I was... distracted."

"So I can see," Trent said with a chuckle. They shared a light laugh together for a slight moment when she suddenly came up to him and wrapped her arms around him for an embrace. "Not trying to sound unappreciative, but what's this for?"

"For not throwing the challenge for me," Gwen replied with a gentle sigh.

"Is that so," Trent noted with a raised brow as he brought his arms around her to return the embrace. "Then I guess I can expect some more of these every time my team beats you."

"Not if my team wins," Gwen retorted with a light laugh, looking up to face him. "I will admit. If you can motivate some one like Izzy, then we've surely got our hands full."

"You better believe it," Trent responded with a chuckle. "You're going down."

The two then simply lost themselves in their embrace and in each other's eyes. For a simple moment, time seemed to have stopped and Gwen and Trent focused upon one another.

"You only have to do one thing for me, Trent," Gwen said rather suddenly.

"What's that?" Trent asked.

"Be yourself," Gwen replied. "That's what attracted me to you and that's what will win my affections. Don't worry about being the perfect boyfriend. Because you already are the perfect boyfriend to me."

"I will if you do the same for me, beautiful," Trent responded. The two widened their smiles at one another and were beginning to lean in for a kiss. Then they noticed some thing out of the corner of both of their eyes.

"Izzy!" both yelled out in annoyance.

"Hey, they're the ones who told me to find some place to pee behind!" Izzy responded in equal annoyance. A response that left Gwen and Trent feeling very uncomfortable.

"I think I badly need that shower," Gwen muttered as she made her way through the door leading into the shower room.

Seconds later, Izzy emerged from behind the building. She appeared satisfied and then noticed that Trent was looking at her rather sternly with a brow raised. "What?" she asked in be bewilderment.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Trent - "I once asked my dad about how he fell in love with mom. He said that he just knew. They had been going out for a good time, but then one day he realized how much she meant to him. And that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. I've only known Gwen for a couple months... but I might be getting that feeling. Maybe..."

Gwen - "My parents were too young to be such when I was born. And when mom became pregnant with my brother, dad walked out on us. Heard he drank himself to death several years back. In any case, it really broke my mom emotionally when he left. Took some time before we managed to get her to be our mom again, or at least a resemblance of the mom I remember. If we take things one step at a time, I think Trent and I will be alright. I dunno if we're destined to be together... but I'd like to think so."

* * *

The Screaming Gaffers sat, forced to endure the discomfort that was a whole sequence that introduced the Gilded Chris Awards ceremony. Moments later, Chris made his way to the podium wearing the stylish and spiffy looking light blue tuxedo. Seconds later, a machine produced a piece of paper with the results of the voting. Chef, who thankfully was in his normal attire, retrieved it and handed it over to the handsome host.

"The votes have been cast!" Chris announced. "If you get a Gilded Chris, it means you're safe. For now." He then paused and looked over at Chef. "What happened to your dress?" He merely received a growl for a response before the big guy walked off.

"Why is the other team here?" Heather questioned. "Shouldn't this ceremony just for our team?" Seemingly ignored by the rest of her team was the fact that the Killer Grips were indeed in attendance with them.

"All will be revealed in due time," Chris answered with a light chuckle. He then continued to speak before the queen bee could make any response. "But for now, let's hand out some statues. Of me!" He laughed some more rather gleefully as Chef reappeared with an armful of Gilded Chris Awards. "And the first Gilded Chris goes to... Gwen!"

"D'uh, she's immune," Heather noted in annoyance, crossing her arms over her chest. "Can we hurry up and get this over with?"

"Gwen, if you'll please come up and accept your award," Chris said. Heather watched with a confused brow raised as the goth girl made her way onto the stage to be personally handed the award.

"I have a speech written out that I'd like to read, if I may," Gwen stated.

"By all means," Chris said, stepping aside so that Gwen could stand behind the podium.

"Speech?" Heather questioned in frustration. "When the hell did you start letting people give out speeches?"

"Shush!" Chris demanded. "Let the recipient speak." Heather grumbled and slouched as she had to endure Gwen's speech.

"First of all, let me say just how honored I am to be receiving this fine gold award of egotistical narcissism," Gwen began to say, speaking from a number of note cards she hand in her hands. "I'm sure it will make a fine addition somewhere in my brother's bathroom. What will become of it afterward I cannot say or care."

"Can we please wrap this up and give every one else their stupid awards?" Heather asked in complaint and frustration.

"Crap, I've lost my place in the speech," Gwen said, flipping through her notes.

"I think you were right there," Chris said, pointing at one of the note cards.

"Are you sure?" Gwen asked.

"Well, you could always start over from the beginning," Chris noted with a shrug.

"I might have to do that," Gwen said, putting the note cards back in order. "Would that be alright?"

"I doubt any one else here would have a problem," Chris answered gleefully.

"I have a problem!" Heather proclaimed. She went ignored.

"Please bare with me as I start over," Gwen announced before returning back to the note cards. "First of all, let me say just how honored I am to be receiving this fine gold award of egotistical narcissism."

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Gwen - "LeShawna, Bridgette, and I pitched to Chris the idea of elongating the ceremony as a means of pissing off Heather before giving her the boot. He said he'd do it so long as he got to speak more than every one. I think this is the one and probably only time we would ever encourage him to do so."

* * *

"And finally, I would like to say a few words about Heather," Gwen said, coming to the conclusion of her speech. "But I highly doubt the censors would appreciate the tone or language I had planned to praise this young woman with, so I'll simply say this one thing, which I believe would be ideal given the film genre our challenges today was based upon. Heather... f-/**censored**/ you and the horse you rode in on." She took a bow and walked off stage to the cheers of every one in the audience. Every one, of course, other than Heather, who was fuming.

"Bite me, weird goth girl," Heather muttered.

"What a lovely speech the fearless leader of the Screaming Gaffers spoke, huh ladies and gentlemen?" Chris announced, clapping his hands. "Another big round of applauds for Gwen." He led on the contests to continue clapping. "Come on, I know you can do better than that." He then encouraged them to clap and cheer even louder.

"She's finished with her speech," Heather pointed out in anger. "Can we please get this over with?"

"I have a quick message I would like to make before we hand out our next award," Chris announced. He pulled out another sheet of paper and began to read from it. "The producers are finalizing my request in which the prize for an upcoming challenge will be for a female winner to accompany me as we view '_Badminton_.' a film that yours truly stars in, premiering at the Toronto Film Festival very soon. Details will be given when the request is approved."

"Boring!" Heather yelled in annoyance. "Can we please wrap this up?"

"Our next two awards go out to a very special pair of recipients this evening," Chris announced. "Bridgette and Geoff!"

"Tell me you're not gonna let them do a speech too," Heather fumed in complaint. "All they're gonna do is just make out." She then looked over at the couple in question and growled. "Which they're doing right now!"

There passed several of moments where every one, save for Heather, merely watched and Bridgette and Geoff continued to make out. Not once did the two ever come close to approaching the stage. Heather was livid at the absurdity of the whole thing.

"Well, I think we can wait before we get to them for a speech," Chris finally said. "So with the extra time, this is probably as good as any to hand out the special Gilded Chris Awards for the winners of today's challenge."

"Are you kidding me?" Heather cried. "What the hell kind of farce is this?"

"The first special Gilded Chris Award goes to Trent, the great leader of the Killer Grips," Chris further announced, ignoring the cries and frustrations of Heather. "And I believe he has a song he wants to sing."

Heather lost it completely and screamed from the top of her lungs.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Gwen - /_Speaks sarcastically._/ "Who should I vote for to have eliminated from the show? Gee, that's going to be a hard one for me to decide. I might have to really think on this one."

Bridgette - "Things will definitely be a lot more fun and enjoyable now that Heather is going."

DJ - "She's been a negative person the entire time. I think we've had enough negativity around here."

Geoff - "There's just a lotta bad vibes with you, you know. Not to mention she's very stuck up and takes things way too seriously. She really should just enjoy the ride."

Harold - "Heather wanted me to vote for DJ earlier, but LeShawna warned me that she was just trying to pull one of her schemes. Besides, DJ's a really nice guy and tries his best. Heather may put together some good ideas, she doesn't really do much else to help out the team with her lack of physical participation."

Heather - /_Grumbles._/ "You know what really sucks? I want to push Gwen on the voting device just for the hell of it and the vote won't register. It's been a f-/**censored**/-ing conspiracy from day one!"

LeShawna - /_Laughing about from one side of the room to the other. She is in tears with laughter. She finally managed to look up at the camera after several minutes of this._/ "Like I'm gonna vote any one else."

* * *

Gwen - Heather

Bridgette - Heather

DJ - Heather

Geoff - Heather

Harold - Heather

Heather - LeShawna

LeShawna - Heather

...

Heather - 6

LeShawna - 1

...

Voted Off - Owen, Heather

* * *

This will be a short bit because I can't really think of any thing to say. If you haven't figured it out already, I have a deviantART account that's been up for several years and recently I did some doodles of Total Drama. The main links you can see on my bio page for this account and you can probably work it out from there. As for the story itself, it seemed only natural for me that Heather would get the boot early. No one has really forgiven her and there was no question they would vote her off the first chance they got. Should be fun to try to keep pace with the changes I have made.

**DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN THE REVIEWS!**

**Next Up:** The Aftermath I


	5. The Aftermath I

**Total Drama Action Redux**

a _Total Drama_ fan fiction story

by Lord Akiyama

* * *

**Author's Note:** This is an alternate universe story based around my idea of how the series would have gone. It begins from the episode _Alien Resurr-eggtion_ onward. Some elements are the same as in the show, but the rest is taken in a different direction.

_Total Drama_ and its characters are copyright © of Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network. This story was created purely out of sheer enjoyment so please don't sue. Or throw me off a thousand-foot high cliff into a shark-infested lake. That would so smarts.

* * *

**Chapter Five**

The Aftermath I

* * *

The **Total Drama Action Aftermath Show** introduction plays followed by a series of highlight clips from _Total Drama Action_.

...

"Well done, Gwen and Trent," Chris announced. "For your reward, I bare both good news and bad news. The good news is that you will both be immune from elimination for an indefinite period of time. But now I get to reveal the bad news. They're the captains of the individual teams. Which means Gwen and Trent will be competing against each other this season."

...

Feeling that his team needed him, Owen tried to continue onward. At the same time, however, he was trying to keep his pants up. "Oh, this is just great!" Duncan complained. "Not only is his pants dropping slowing him down... but we're about to get permanently blinded because of it!"

...

"How is this a win-win situation?" Heather questioned, raising a confused brow.

"Cause even if we don't win, someone from the team is gonna get voted off," LeShawna replied in a struggling voice.

"You... wouldn't... dare!" Heather responded in horror.

"After all the things you did last season, I can't wait," LeShawna managed to laugh through her grunting.

...

"Sorry, big guy," Chris said from the stage. "You got the most votes. You're outta here."

"Well," Owen sighed, getting to his feet. "I guess you can't win them all."

...

"Izzy gathering recon on Killer Grips," Izzy replied in a silent whisper.

"You're spying on your own team?" Bridgette questioned with a confused brow raised.

"Izzy suspects some one on the team is a traitor," Izzy answered, still speaking in a silent whisper. "That some one being responsible for getting Owen eliminated."

...

"Let's just say I'll do anything to win this time," Justin explained in the Make-Up Confessional. "Anything."

...

"I think I can convince DJ and Geoff to vote against Harold," Heather stated in the Make-Up Confessional. "Now I just need to convince Harold to vote for some one other than me."

...

"You have a problem with my man, you have a problem with me!" LeShawna stated to Duncan sternly.

"What?" Heather cried in horror.

"Alright, Harold!" Geoff cheered. Even DJ, Beth, and Lindsay were excited by the news.

"You gotta be kidding me," Duncan uttered in disbelief.

...

"LeShawna, Bridgette, and I pitched to Chris the idea of elongating the ceremony as a means of pissing off Heather before giving her the boot," Gwen explained in the Make-Up Confessional.

...

"So with the extra time, this is probably as good as any to hand out the special Gilded Chris Awards for the winners of today's challenge," the handsome host announced gleefully.

Heather lost it completely and screamed from the top of her lungs.

...

_(Cue Theme Song)_

* * *

The **Total Drama Action Aftermath Show** introduction replays, but this time it was followed by a fade in to a shot of a talk show set in front of a live studio audience. The audience is applauding and cheering. At the center of the stage is a couch that was being sit upon by the apparent hosts of the show. And they appeared to be just as excited as the audience.

"_EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE_!" the wanna-be twins squealed with absolute delight.

"Ohmygosh, Sadie!" Katie cried happily. "We have our own show!"

"I, like, always wanted to have my own show!" Sadie responded, crying happily as well. "And now I have one with my BFFFL!"

"I know, right?" Katie stated. "This is so exciting!"

"_EEEEEEEEEE_!" the girls squealed at an even high-pitch than before.

On the right side of the stage there was two couches, the back couch elevated slightly above the other in height. Seated in the couches were six more recognizable faces. On the top row sat Cody, Tyler, and Eva. On the bottom row sat Courtney, Noah, and Ezekiel. They all looked at the apparent hosts with a mixture of disbelief and discomfort. Except for Noah, whose attention was placed upon a book he was reading.

"How come they're the hosts of the show?" Courtney asked the others.

"Well, the rest of us did turn down the producers when they asked us if we wanted the job," Cody replied with a shrug.

"Like I'm gonna talk about a show I'm not on for thirty minutes," Eva snorted, having crossed her arms over her chest.

"I w'oos t'oo afraid n'oo 'oone w'ood like me, eh," Ezekiel noted rather sheepishly.

"It doesn't get me any closer to being with Linds," Tyler stated, shaking his head.

"No interest whatsoever," Noah said, retaining his attention upon his book.

"Right," Courtney said. She then breathed out a determined exhale. "I should be competing, not gossiping."

"I bet Katie and Sadie had no problems being hosts of a TV show," Cody noted.

"Not to mention it saved the producers from having to pay an extra hundred bucks to beg us to be the hosts had they said no," Noah added. A sentence that caught the others by surprise.

Seconds later, Eva, Tyler, and Courtney were yelling at the producers off-stage, verbally displaying that they would have taken the job if they had offered the extra money in the first place. In the mean time, Katie and Sadie had spent the entire time speaking to the camera about how great it was that they were finally getting to host their own television show.

"Oh, and hi Denise!" Sadie called out, waving to the camera. "We told you we'd, like, be so TV stars!"

"Totally!" Katie cheered in agreement. She then started giggling with even more excitement than before. "Oh, and I bet all the boys back home are gonna, like, wanna go out with us now that we're TV stars!"

"I believe the producers want you to get the show rolling," Noah said suddenly, his attention still on his book.

"Oh, right!" Katie gasped in horror. "Sorry, Noah!"

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to the producers," Noah noted, once more keeping focused on his book.

"You're so right, Noah," Sadie said before looking off-stage to the producers. "Sorry, producers!" She paused when she realized that they were telling her some thing. "What's that?"

"I think they, like, want us to explain what this show is about," Katie explained.

"Oh, goodie!" Sadie cheered, clapping her hands repeatedly. "So, like, what's it about?"

"You two didn't bother finding out what you were getting yourselves into?" Courtney asked with a confused brow raised.

"Nope," Noah answered. As expected, he was still reading his book. "Just Sadie."

"This show is gonna be so fun, Sadie," Katie told her would-be twin. "We get to, like, read messages and texts sent to us from the viewers. We'll even get to see them on a live web cam"

"_EEEEEEEEEE_!" Sadie squealed with some more excitement.

"C'ooments from peop'ool?" Ezekiel questioned, eyes wide open in horror. He then began to shudder in fear over what this could mean for him. "I bet they'll say a l'oota bad things ab'oot me for what I said on the island."

"I'm sure all the comments will actually be about those who are competing," Cody noted in an attempt to calm the prairie boy.

"Great," Eva scoffed in annoyance. "That makes us worthless."

"Michael better get me some good news soon about our lawsuit," Courtney muttered.

"What lawsuit?" Tyler asked curiously.

"She's suing the producers of the show," Noah answer. His attention still fixed on his book.

"And she's here?" Tyler questioned further.

"They can't afford multiple lawsuits being active to drain away money," Noah explained.

"How come you're suing the show?" Cody asked Courtney.

"I have been advised by my attorney to not make any comment about my lawsuit against the show," Courtney answered, crossing her arms over her chest and sticking her nose up in the air.

"Translation, she feels they cheated her out of competing for a second time when Chris decided which ones got to compete on the show this time around," Noah noted. It was as though his eyes could not be removed from the book even by force.

"How is it you know all this?" Eva questioned Noah with a curious brow raised.

"I have the unfortunate ability to listen attentively to my surroundings even when I don't want to," Noah answered. "Like how Katie and Sadie have continued to go on about how great it is to be TV hosts instead of actually performing the jobs of such."

"Oops!" Katie gasped in shock. "Sorry, Noah."

"So, like, what do we do now?" Sadie asked Katie.

"I think we're, like, first supposed to introduce the Peanut Gallery," Katie replied.

"The Peanut Gallery?" Courtney repeated, sounding as though the name was insulting.

"Guess that's the best name the producers could come up for us," Cody noted with a shrug.

"What a stupid name," Eva stated in a huff.

"Maybe we should, like, go alphabetically and stuff," Sadie suggested.

"Good idea, Sadie!" Katie cheered, clapping her hands rapidly. "So that, like, means the first person to introduce is Cody!" The audience cheered and applauded as Cody's image appeared on camera. Many girls in the audience started to squeal, which in turn caused the techno-geek to blush slightly.

"Next is Courtney!" Sadie announced. Courtney smiled and waved in a rather professional manner as the audience cheered and applauded her upon seeing her image on camera.

"And then there's Eva!" Katie announced. Eva merely glared at the camera, her arms still crossed over her chest. There was mild applauding from the audience directed to her.

"Followed by Ezekiel!" Sadie announced. Ezekiel slouched within himself and managed to sheepishly smile and wave. He was fortunate that the audience gave him a light applauds.

"After him is Noah!" Katie announced. Noah continued to maintain his attention upon his book, barely registering that the camera was on him. The audience applauded him mildly.

"Finally, we have Tyler!" Sadie announced. Tyler pumped his fist to the camera. The audience applauded him more strongly than the previous three, but nowhere near what Cody and Courtney got. "So, like, what are we supposed to do now?"

"I think we're, like, supposed to introduce some guests," Katie answered.

"Is one of them Justin Bieber?" Sadie gasped in excitement.

"I hope so," Katie stated, herself engaging in a giggling fit.

"Why don't you take a look at the green room and see for yourselves," Noah suggested, still buried in his book.

"Good idea, Noah!" Katie cheered. "Let's, like, see who's in the green room!"

Every one turned their attention to whatever monitor was most convenient for them to look at. The image switched from a more close up view of every one on the stage to the green room. It was here that others waited to be called to the stage. Those present were the most recent competitors eliminated from _Total Drama Action_, Owen and Heather.

"Awww," Sadie pouted. "Justin Bieber's not there."

"W'oo's J'oostin Bieber?" Ezekiel asked curiously.

"You don't wanna know," Noah answered, still reading his book.

"Hey," Katie announced suddenly. "Guess what, Sadie. We can, like, listen in on what they're saying."

"Oh, let's listen in!" Sadie cheered, clapping her hands together rapidly.

"Okay!" Katie said with excitement, nodding her head both in agreement to the idea and to let the producers know to turn on the audio feed to the green room.

"This is a travesty," Heather complained angrily, crossing her arms over her chest and slouching in the couch she was sitting on. "Having it out for me from day one with no probable cause. I never had a fair chance this season. And then they had the audacity to elongate that farce of an elimination ceremony."

"Well, you were really mean to every one all the time on the show," Owen noted, sitting on the other end of the couch and stuffing himself with the cheese and crackers that had been set on the table in front of them.

"Oh, so just because I was mean to every one that I got to be booted the way I did," Heather complained further. "It was so humiliating what they did with that elimination ceremony the other night. Even I have feelings, too. I bet it didn't cross their minds that I might have been emotionally hurt by all that."

"Awww," Owen said. "Sounds like some one needs a hug to make them feel better."

Heather's eyes shot open in horror. She had a very good idea what the big guy was about to do and she only had seconds to prevent it from happening. "Don't you dare!" she demanded. He started to get closer. "No, Owen! No!" Too late. She found herself struggling for breath after he wrapped his arms around her for a very tight embrace.

"Don't worry, Heather," Owen proclaimed, oblivious to what his hugging Heather was actually doing to the girl. "My mom told me that when some one is down all it takes it a hug to cheer them up. I bet you're feeling good as a new right now."

"Can't... breathe..." Heather struggled to utter as her face started to turn blue.

"Maybe you should bring them out before he accidentally commits homicide," Noah noted. Not surprisingly, his face was still buried in the book he was reading.

"Oh, I've so always wanted to do this!" Sadie cheered with excitement once again. She then cleared her throat and tried to look as professional as one looking like her could look. "Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Owen!"

The audience cheered and applauded loudly as cheesy daytime television music played. However, it was quite apparent that all of this noise did not register to Owen that it might be that he was to exit the green room and appear on stage. Much to Heather's increasing discomfort as she could not hold her breath for much longer.

"Owen!" a stagehand yelled from behind the camera in the green room. "You're on!"

"I'm on?" Owen questioned. It took a second for him to finally realize what was going on. "Oh crap! I'm late!" He released his hold on Heather and immediately rushed out of the green room in a hurry. Heather dropped onto her knees and breathed heavily to get the oxygen flowing in her body again.

Owen on stage, smiling and waving in a jolly manner as he acknowledge the cheering and applauding directed to him. The Peanut Gallery merely applauded as they watched the big guy take a seat on one of the couches on the left side of the stage, arranged in the same manner as the ones of the right.

"Like, welcome to the **Total Drama Action Aftermath Show**, Owen!" Katie announced.

"Hey, guys!" Owen said happily. "Really excited to be here!"

"For some one who won last season only to be eliminated first, you seem to be taking things in stride," Cody noted.

"Bet you regret giving up the $100,000, huh," Eva stated with a grunt.

"Nope!" Owen responded in an excitable manner. "I had a great time!" This confused most of the others.

"You had $100,000 in your hands and lost it all on a gamble that didn't pay off," Courtney stated, pointing out the facts to him. "How could you possibly have had a great time in spite of that?"

"I got to do a lotta fun stuff," Owen answered honestly. "I made friends, played a buncha games, ate some really good food." He then paused and exhaled lovingly, which was followed by a giggle. "But most of all, I got to met Izzy." This made some of the others flinch just a little bit in horror.

"Dating Izzy isn't worth giving up $100,000 for, dude," Tyler said.

"We're talking about Owen and Izzy here, Tyler," Noah noted. Again, he was focusing pretty much all of his attention upon his book. "Logic is just a bump in the road for them."

"Izzy l'ooked sad when you g'oot v'ooted 'oof, eh," Ezekiel stated.

"Yeah," Owen sighed, looking a little crestfallen when the subject was brought up. "I've never seen her look that upset before. I hope she misses me as much as I miss her."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that," Noah proclaimed. Again, face still in book.

"Hey, Katie," Sadie said. "What is, like, that producer person waving his arms about?"

"I dunno," Katie answered, twirling the back of her hair. After a few seconds, it appeared as though she had finally figured it out as she smiled with delight. "I think he's, like, saying that there's some one on web cam or some thing. Who wants to, like, ask Owen a question. I love fan participation!"

"Me too!" Sadie cheered, clapping her hands together rapidly. "They're so much fun!"

"A fan wants to ask me a question?" Owen questioned in excitement. "Woo hoo!"

"I can only imagine what kind of question some one would ask him," Cody said in a worried tone.

"I doubt it would be any thing pleasant for the mind," Eva grunted.

"So, like, um..." Katie started to say. She looked off-stage for the producers to tell her who was on the web cam "Cally! You're on the air!" She then giggled quietly and leaned over to Sadie. "I've always wanted to say that." The wanna-be twins continued to some more of their giggling-fit.

Every one turned their attention back to the nearest monitor. The image switched from the stage to a web cam feed. Appearing on the screen was a girl who appeared no younger than thirteen. She had short red hair, freckles running across her cheeks, and a pink shirt that apparently was custom made as it contained black lettering that read "_D x C 4 EVA!_"

"Hi everyone!" Cally cheered, waving about with great enthusiasm and glee. "Love the show. Looking forward to seeing the rest. I have a question for Owen. When you ate all those fake food props, was that the first time you ever had them or do you recall maybe accidentally eating some before."

"Why would any one ever want to know some thing like that?" Courtney asked aloud with a confused brow raised.

"He reminds me a lot of my brother," Cally explained unabashedly. "He won't stop eating things he's not supposed to even after we've told him time and time again how bad they are for him."

"How old is your brother any way?" Tyler questioned curiously.

"Three," Cally answered, raising her hand up to show off three fingers.

"I think my mom once told me I shouldn't have eaten this one pizza one time," Owen started to say in answering the initial question to him. "I thought it was just a friendly chef handing out free pizza and that I accidentally ate his hand."

"W'oot happened t'oo the chef, eh?" Ezekiel asked with a slight hint on intrigue.

"It wasn't a real chef," Cody explained. "It was a cardboard standee set up to advertise the place that was selling the pizza."

"I'm surprised he didn't eat the whole standee, actually," Eva snorted aloud.

"Oh, is there any way to ask a question to a contestant who is still competing?" Cally asked, hoping in place a few times.

"I dunno," Sadie replied, scratching her head. "Is there?"

"I think that producer person is saying no," Katie said as she looked off-stage to the producer. "Sorry, Cally."

"Awww," Cally pouted. "I wanted to ask Duncan about that secret photo of Courtney he keeps under his pillow."

"Oh, I wanna know too!" Sadie squealed in excitement.

"Maybe we could ask Courtney about that photo," Noah suggested. Still reading his book.

"Good idea, Noah!" Katie cheered. "Hey Cally! Maybe Courtney can answer your question."

"Hey, Courtney!" Cally called out with even greater delight. "My friends and I are, like, so big fans of you and Duncan as a couple. We just wanted to know how he got that photo in the first place and if you gave him any thing else."

Every one now turned their attention to Courtney. Who was frozen from head to toe in her seated position. Eyes wide open with her pupils shirking into tiny dots. Her cheeks burning with an intense pink coloring that left no doubt that she was blushing. She remained like this for what seemed like several moments.

"Aren't y'oo g'oona answer the question, C'oortney?" Ezekiel asked, breaking the silence.

"I..." Courtney started to squeak. "I..." She didn't have the courage to speak any further.

"Perhaps she's thinking about how exactly to answer the question of whether or not she gave him some thing else in addition to the photo," Noah noted. Once more, still reading his book.

"What would she give him that would be so embarrassing?" Cody questioned curiously. It took another moment of silence before a vast majority of the girls in the audience along with Katie and Sadie as well as Cally on web cam gasped with great excitement.

"You didn't!" Sadie squealed.

"Bra or panties?" Katie asked with increasing glee.

"Oh my gosh!" Cally swooned in delight. "My sister would, like, so die if she heard you did give him your panties!" When no immediate answer was made, just about every one had a very good idea what it was that Courtney had given Duncan. And it made all of the girls in the audience squeal.

"You gave Duncan your panties?" Owen asked. Then he started to giggle. "Courtney, you're so naughty."

"I shudder to think what he does with them when he's alone," Eva scoffed with discomfort.

"I've been meaning to ask," Cody stated rather suddenly, drawing much of the attention to him. "What is a guy supposed to do when he has a piece of a girl's underwear any way? I still have the bra Gwen gave me and I'm not sure what to do with them." He pulls out the black bra and started to wave a little. The sight of which managed to cause Courtney to react.

"You can stop waving them about, for one!" Courtney snapped in offense. Cody nearly screamed as he flinched in horror and immediately stuffed the bra into his shirt.

"No need to get snippy with him," Eva noted with a slight chuckle, amused by what had been on display before her very eyes. "It's not like he has your underwear."

"Have you people no shame?" Courtney questioned in disbelief. "Talking so publicly about underwear. It's embarrassing."

"I highly doubt the producers of this show would have any shame," Noah stated. One could guess where his attention was.

"Katie, that producer person is trying to tell us some thing again," Sadie said, looking off-stage. "What's he saying?"

"I dunno," Katie replied, once again twirling the back of her hair as she too looked off-stage. "He's, like, trying to motion to some big pieces of paper or some thing with words on there that I, like, can't really read..."

"He wants you to thank Cally for her time and then cut to commercial," Noah explained. Still reading.

"Really?" Sadie said, delighted that some one had figured it out for her. "Thanks, Noah!"

"Bye, Cally!" Katie cried, waving to the camera. "We had so much fun!"

"Thank you guys!" Cally called, waving back before the feed was cut off.

"So, like, we have to go to commercial and stuff," Sadie announced to the audience.

"But we'll be right back to the **Total Drama Action Aftermath Show**!" Katie cheered. The audience began to applaud and cheer as music played to transition to the show into commercial.

"I love having our own show!" Sadie cheered.

"I know, right?" Katie agreed in delight.

The two girls started giggling and squealing with joy as they clapped their hands rapidly and hopped slightly up and down in their seated positions. Eva brought up two fingers up to her temple and mimicked pulling a trigger and hanging her head to one side.

* * *

The immediate cut to commercial began with a close up shot of some food. With flies buzzing about on and off the slop. The camera then zoomed out and panned up to reveal Chef Hatchet, who was also holding cup that had a skunk tail hanging out. "This episode of **TDA Aftersho'** was brought to you by _Chef's Roadkill Cafe_," he announced to the camera. "Where Sundays are Bring Yo' Own Meat. You hit it, we spit it."

* * *

The return from commercial featured a shorter, yet similar animation graphic that was used in the introduction. Once the feed was back on set, the audience began to cheer and applaud. There was one noticeable difference the apparently took place during the break. Noah was now sitting in-between Katie and Sadie with his arms crossed, sans the book he was reading.

"Welcome back to **Total Drama Action Aftermath Show**!" Katie announced.

"Why's Noah sitting with you guys?" Cody asked curiously.

"I'm serving as co-host," Noah answered in his usual monotone voice. "Hired by the producers to make sure Katie and Sadie stay on track with the show instead of mouthing off about how great it is to have their own show."

"I thought you said you weren't interested in the job," Tyler noted, pointing out what Noah had said earlier.

"The extra three hundred bucks was convincing," Noah explained. A sentence that caught the other members of the Peanut Gallery off-guard. Seconds later, Eva, Tyler, and Courtney were once again yelling at the producers off-stage.

"So, like, what should we do now, Noah?" Sadie asked in an excited tone.

"Perhaps we should bring out our other guest," Noah answered.

"Oh, right!" Katie cheered. "Ladies and gentlemen, our next guest is Heather!"

The music played and Heather appeared on stage. But before she could even set one foot in the direction of the couch, the audience serenade her with a chorus of boos. Some of the pretty vicious, which shocked and frustration the queen bee as she glared out angrily at the crowd. It only made them louder. Most of the members of the Peanut Gallery laughed at her expense as she finally sat herself down on one of the couches on the left side of the stage. As far away from Owen as possible.

"What is the matter with these people?" Heather questioned in annoyance, crossing her arms over her chest and slouching down in her seat. "Why are they booing me?"

"Seems pretty obvious to me," Tyler answered with a chuckle.

"So I played the game to win, not make friends," Heather stated. "The least they could do is give me a little respect for at least being among the final three last season."

"They're giving you all the respect you deserve," Eva snorted in response.

"You people are just jealous!" Heather yelled in defiance, pointing a finger at the Peanut Gallery. "I have the looks, the brains, and the will to do whatever it takes to be a winner."

"D'oos that mean I have t'oo be b'oold t'oo be a winner?" Ezekiel asked in honest confusion. This brought about great laughter from just about every one in the audience and on stage. It only bewildered him further. "I d'oon't get it, eh."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Heather cried in frustration.

"You really shouldn't be surprised, Heather," Courtney noted, raising a finger up as if she was making a point. "The things you did back on the first season were really antagonistic against those people liked."

"Oh that is such a load of crap!" Heather yelled in retorted, leaning a little closer toward the Peanut Gallery. "Duncan is as much of an antagonist as you make me out to be and yet he's so beloved."

"That's because he's making out with Courtney and has her panties," Tyler said with a chuckle. He then felt some thing sharp connect with his kneecap, causing him to pull it up in pain. "Ow!" He looked down to see Courtney shooting him with an angry glare as she was pulling her elbow back.

"This is probably a good time to move on to the next segment," Noah suggested.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Heather cried. "What about the fan comments for me? At least give me that."

"You sure you want it?" Noah questioned with an amused raised brow.

"Yes!" Heather yelled out her answer. "Give it to me!"

"Okay," Noah said with a shrug. "You asked for it. Go ahead and read one of the e-mails for Heather."

"Which one?" Sadie asked. "They're, like, all the same."

"Doesn't really matter," Noah replied. "Just pick one and get it over with."

"Okay," Katie said, beginning to read the comment nervously. "This one is, like, from some guy called TDZombie189. And he, like, says that Heather is... um... Do I really have to say that word?"

"You can substitute the 'b' with a 'w' and it would still have the same meaning," Noah noted.

"Oh, alright," Katie said, sounding less nervous and more intrigued. "So, like, TDZombie189 says that Heather is so a witch and that, like, she totally deserves what she got because she, like, tried to ruin Gwen and Trent's relationship. Yeah, I remember that. That was, like, so mean of you to do that, Heather."

"People actually like weird goth girl and her stupid relationship?" Heather questioned in disbelief. "What the hell!"

"They're, like, so cute and adorable," Sadie squealed.

"I know, right?" Katie swooned.

"Why?" Heather asked further, throwing her hands up for effect. "Why do people like any thing with her?"

"Well, if we go by what TDZombie189 says, their the embodiment of true love," Noah began to explain as he verbally highlighted some more of the e-mail comment. "Then again, this is the same person who writes about how funny it is that Izzy tried to use Lindsay's boobs as a hiding place, so I doubt he speaks for every one."

"I can't believe Izzy would do some thing like that to my girl, man!" Tyler stated in anger. "She's so lucky she's not a guy, or I would've beaten her down as soon as she got her."

"You couldn't beat up an ant," Eva grunted.

"I so could!" Tyler retorted.

"Oh, there's, like, this really cute picture of Gwen and Trent on the set when they weren't, like, in a challenge and stuff," Katie said, hopping up and down in her seated position with excitement. "Can we, like, see that? Please Noah?"

"If you say so," Noah replied with a shrug.

The image of the monitors changed from the video feed of the stage to a romantic still image of Trent and Gwen. It was a night time setting and appeared to be located on the hill the two seemed to be going to a lot since the start of the season. They sat against the trunk of a tree with Gwen snuggling up to Trent. He in turn had a hand cupping her cheek, which was blushing a light color of pink. The two looked very happy indeed. The sight of the image caused every girl in the audience to swoon.

"They're so romantic!" Sadie squealed.

"Gag!" Heather scoffed, mimicking the appearance of throwing up as she stuck a finger in her mouth. "What the hell kind of world do I live in where people like weird goth girl?"

"Reality sure is a bummer, isn't it," Noah stated.

"Bite me, egghead," Heather hissed.

"Oh my, what hurtful words you speak at me," Noah retorted sarcastic monotone voice.

"Weren't y'oo g'oona d'oo an'oother segment, eh?" Ezekiel asked curiously.

"That's right!" Katie proclaimed. "Like, what's the next segment, Noah?"

"It's a little some thing that I think the producers would want to make sure appears in every episode of the Aftermath," Noah answered. "I believe it's called **That's Gonna Leave a Mark**."

"Oh, sounds exciting!" Sadie cheered. "What's it about?"

"We're gonna show a series of never before seen clips of various people on the show finding themselves on the receiving end of some kind of unfortunate calamity or two," Noah announced. "In short, we're gonna watch people get hurt and laugh about it."

A video package played on the monitors that served as the introduction to the segment. A series of clips from the first season scrolled across the screen from various directions as music played. The clips showed the various hits the contestants had suffered back when they were on the island.

The first clip of the segment was then shown. Back when the competitors were doing the tear-jerker scene challenge. Duncan was following a costumed Izzy behind the set. Suddenly, and without warning, one of the spotlights dropped onto Duncan's head. As expected, the audience began to laugh as the clip paused on the image and a red circle was drawn around Duncan's head and the spotlight to further emphasized what happened.

"Looks like it's lights out for Duncan," Noah joked in his monotone voice.

"Tell me he got some kind of medical attention for that!" Courtney cried.

"Oh, it gets better," Noah said.

The next clip shown was when the competitors were being chased by the monster on the first day on the set. It showed that there was some thing that the monster did manage to step on. That some thing being Duncan. Half of the audience laughed and the other half squirmed a bit from the sight of the punk getting crushed by a giant foot.

"I can see why these clips were never shown before," Courtney stated in outrage. "They're vile!"

"Fortunately for you, Courtney, this segment isn't called Duncan's Greatest Hits," Noah said.

The next clip shown was on the beach, Lindsay was working on the sand castle when she suddenly felt something and screamed. Lifting up her hand, they paused the clip and used a red circle to highlight that her hand was clamped onto by a crab's claw. The audience laughed. The next clip was from the calf roping challenge. It showed Beth practicing how to throw her lasso. Only she released it far too soon with the lasso dropping down over her and wrapping around her ankles, causing her to fall down face first on the to the ground. Again, the audience laughed.

The final clip shown was during the alien egg hunting challenge. Chef, wearing an alien costume, was walking down the corridors in search of some more competitors to eliminate. He was not careful to see that there was a puddle of slime in his path and soon found himself slipping on it, slamming hard on his back that had the audience howling with laughter.

"Since we're on the subject of hilarious on-set disaster, there is another of these fun never before seen clips that I would very much like to show to you all," Noah announced.

"Oh, I, like, so can't wait to see this," Katie said with anticipation.

"I hope it's, like, as funny as those other clips," Sadie said, also in anticipation.

"I think it is," Noah stated. "I'm sure every one watching the show knows by now that Chef forced DJ into an alliance with him. He toughens DJ up and helps him win the competition, he gets a percentage of the prize money in return."

"If I had known there would be so many underhanded cheaters like Chris and Chef running the show, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place," Courtney proclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest and sticking her nose up in the air.

"Turns out, he actually went to some one else first in trying to form an alliance," Noah continued to say. "Izzy."

"He wanted to form an alliance with the Psycho Hose Beast?" Heather asked in surprise. Then she let out a light laugh in amusement. "This should be rich."

"This can't possibly be a good thing," Cody noted, looking quite nervous over what he was about to see.

"Chef wanted to make Izzy into a bad girl?" Owen questioned, sounding very sad that such an idea could possibly happen.

"Calm down, Owen," Noah said. "As this clip will show, she rejects his offer in rather comedic fashion."

Every one turned their attention back to the monitors as it switched from the video feed of the stage to the clip. The clip showed Chef attempting to speak privately with Izzy backstage.

"I'll help you man up and win this thing," Chef stated in a low voice. "We split the prize money, fifty-fifty." He then stretched his hand out for her to shake, solidifying their alliance.

Izzy looked at the hand with a suspicious glare. Then she looked up at Chef in the eyes. Suddenly, and in a flash, she had jumped into the air and planted a kick into Chef's chest. "Hi-yah!" she cried as the kick sent Chef flying off the screen and crashing some where. Izzy merely giggled. "Oh, I don't think so!"

"You were right, Noah," Eva noted with a chuckle as the audience laughed over what they saw. "That was funny."

"I was right, too," Cody said. "That wasn't a good thing. For Chef, that is."

"Dude, did you see the awesome impact?" Tyler cheered. "Any way we can see that in slow motion?"

"I doubt any one here would object," Noah replied with a shrug.

The monitors showed a replay of Izzy landing the kick on Chef. This time, it was shown in slow motion. The audience laughed as they saw just how deep into Chef's chest Izzy got with her foot. The clip then showed that as Chef was beginning to fly off of camera view, there was a witness to the incident. A stage hand watched the whole thing in horror.

"Aww, look at the poor guy watching," Sadie noted with a giggle.

"I bet he, like, thinks he's next or some thing," Katie said with a giggle of her own.

"We're gonna wrap things up with a segment Katie and Sadie here begged the producers to make up when they agreed to be the hosts of this show," Noah announced.

"Ohmygosh, they're gonna let us do it?" Sadie gasped in delight.

"_EEEEEEEEEE_!" Katie squealed. "I'm so excited!"

"I get the feeling this is going to be some thing awful," Eva grunted.

"Okay, so we lost," Heather stated in frustration. "Why are the producers so insistent on torturing us like this?"

"Can't we just end the show now?" Tyler whined.

"Maybe I should close my eyes and cover my ears," Cody stated to himself aloud.

"Is this s'oome thin' scary?" Ezekiel asked nervously.

"Hi, Michael?" Courtney said, having managed to turn on and speaking into a cell phone that she had in hand. "It's Courtney. I think we're about to add some thing else to the lawsuit."

"This sounds like it will be a lotta fun!" Owen cheered. "I can't wait!"

"You won't have to wait any longer," Noah said. "It's a segment the girls like to call..."

"**Like, Really Cute Romantic Stuff That is So Adorable**!" Katie and Sadie announced in complete unison.

"What?" the entire Peanut Gallery asked in disbelief and confusion.

"I prefer to call it Unseen Lovey-Dovey Stuff, but that's just me," Noah noted.

"There's, like, this really cute moment Bridgette and Geoff had that, like, wasn't shown on the show," Katie explained.

"It so should've been shown," Sadie stated.

"So we're gonna show it," Noah proclaimed.

"That doesn't sound so bad," Cody said, shrugging after thinking about it for a moment.

"Sorry, Michael," Courtney sighed into her cell phone. "False alarm."

"This is inhumane!" Heather cried in further frustration. "How can clips of them making out endlessly be considered cute?"

"Because it's a rare showing of them not engaged in tonsil hockey, actually," Noah answered bluntly.

"Okay, this I've gotta see," Eva chuckled.

"They were playin' a game 'oof h'ookey?" Ezekiel questioned in confusion. "I th'oot they were kissin', eh."

"Dude, you really need to get out more often," Tyler stated to the prairie boy. "You're so missing out on stuff."

Every one turned their attention back to the monitors. The image changed from the video feed of the stage to a clip. This clip saw the beach from Camp Wawanakwa at night. As seen during all the beach movie challenges. To the right, there was a faint orange glow. No doubt where the Screaming Gaffers were celebrating their victory. Only Geoff and Bridgette were walking away from it. Geoff carried in one hand a basket and under the other arm what appeared to be a blanket. Once they reached a certain point on the beach, Geoff laid out the blanket for them to sit on.

"We're not gonna keep partying with the others?" Bridgette asked curiously, but in a rather pleasurable tone.

"I figured this would be a nice time for me and my girl to hang alone and have dinner on the beach," Geoff answered, tipping his hat slightly as he smiled. Trying to look all cool and handsome.

"Aww, that's so sweet of you," Bridgette said with a giggle.

"Yeah," Geoff sighed, looking at the surfer girl lovingly. The two stared at one another for a moment, not bothering with the food that they had brought in the basket. Then Geoff chuckled and scratched the back of his head nervously before he decided to reveal some thing rather surprising. "You know, you're actually my first girlfriend."

"Really?" Bridgette asked in shock. "I'd imagine you've gone out with other girls before."

"Never really had the time, I guess," Geoff noted with a shrug. "I'm always partyin'."

"Okay, that I can believe," Bridgette said with a laugh. "But still, I'm shock you've never dated."

"You remember the heart-shaped frame I made you, right?" Geoff asked. Bridgette replied with a nod. "I've never done that before. And it was only after I made it that I realized how cheesy the whole thing was."

"It's the thought that counts, Sweetie," Bridgette stated, gently and lightly patting Geoff's nearest hand with hers. "Even if the inscription you wrote on the back was pretty awful."

"'_I hope you think of me whenever you drop loose change into this_,'" Geoff recounted. He then rolled his eyes and sighed. "What was I thinkin'? Almost as bad as '_You pitch a tent like a guy_.'"

"But you have worked to improve on what you say," Bridgette pointed out positively.

"You have no idea how much help I needed, Honey-Boo," Geoff explained. "I actually went to Noah. Noah, of all people, for advice. And he gave me this book by some chick named Jane Austen."

"Noah?" Bridgette questioned as she began to laugh heartily. "Jane Austen?"

"He said his sisters were enthralled by every thing she wrote, whatever that meant," Geoff stated. "So I've been readin' the one he gave me, _Sense and Sensibility_. Man... There's so many words in there. A lot that I really don't get."

"Awww, so that's where you got that one really cute line you told me the other day," Bridgette noted with a light giggle. She then recited the very line. "'_My heart is, and always will be, yours_.'" She followed with a swoon.

"It was the only one I could remember," Geoff said with a shrug after scratching the back of his head again. "Well, there was '_Is love a fancy or a feeling... or a Ferrars_?' But I never got what it meant."

"Well, Schmoopy-Boo," Bridgette began to say, sounding rather seductive as she leaned in closer to her boyfriend. "Perhaps we can read it together some time and I can help you figure out what it all means."

"You're the best, Schmoopy-Schmoo," Geoff proclaimed, letting out a sigh of relief.

The clip ended and the audience began to let out aww's over what they saw. Katie and Sadie were squealing with delight while Noah maintained an emotionless expression. Owen appeared as though he himself was swooning over what he saw. The rest of the Peanut Gallery, though, seemed quite perplexed.

"That was sicker than them sucking face constantly," Heather proclaimed in a huff.

"But it was, like, so cute!" Sadie squealed, hopping up and down in her seated position.

"Why the hell would you have a Jane Austen book with you, Noah?" Eva questioned with a curious brow raised.

"Being the youngest of nine, I've learned that you're better off impressing a girl quoting Jane Austen than you are quoting Shakespeare," Noah answered in his typical monotone manner. "Frankly, I'm surprised Geoff read the damned thing at all."

"Perhaps you could learn a thing or two from reading Jane Austen, Ezekiel," Courtney stated to the prairie boy.

"Really?" Ezekiel squeaked, scratching the back of his head. "D'oo y'oo have any m'oore 'oof th'oose b'ooks, N'ooah?"

"Unfortunately, I only ever brought one copy with me," Noah answered. "I was unprepared for the possibility of having to cater to other guys in the ways of wooing girls."

"Like you're any kind of real expert," Heather scoffed.

"It seems to be working," Cody noted. He then started to stroke his chin and think about the idea just a little more. "Maybe I should be reading Jane Austen too..."

"How come they weren't eating all that delicious food they brought?" Owen asked curiously.

"Dude, there are other things in life than food," Tyler noted.

"There is?" Owen said in shock and surprise. He then let out a heavy sigh. "Ah, man! I always thought that _Chicken Soup for the Soul_ was about how food was the way to live."

"Are you sure you read the book, Owen?" Cody questioned, raising a curious and bewildered brow. "Because I'm sure it doesn't really have any thing about food in there."

"It doesn't?" Owen said, once more in shock and surprise. "No wonder there wasn't any food on the cover."

"And on that note, the producers want us to end tonight's episode," Noah announced.

"Awww, but we're, like, having so much fun," Katie pouted.

"No we're not," Heather proclaimed. "This is pathetic and degrading."

"What more do you want?" Courtney asked. "You're getting your fifteen minutes of fame extended by being here."

"Go jump in a pool of green jelly!" Heather yelled.

"Why is that producer person, like, counting down with his fingers?" Sadie asked in a confused tone.

"Ohmygosh, we have to, like, end the show now!" Katie gasped in horror.

"Byeee!" Katie and Sadie stated in unison as the audience began to cheer and applaud. The video feed of the studio began to fade to black, thereby ending the show.

"Say bye, Noah," Katie noted.

"Bye, Noah," Noah said in his monotone voice.

* * *

How would you like to be a part of a future **Aftermath** episode? Or rather, how would you like to create a character who could appear in a future **Aftermath** episode? I opened up a forum used specifically for you guys to submit your characters and their questions to eliminated contestants. Post as many as you like until the story comes to an end. I just may end up using yours in a future episode of the **Aftermath**.

Head over to my profile and click on My Forums to participate.

As for this episode itself. I agree with a lot of folks that the initial members of the Peanut Gallery got to barely say much at all. It was primarily dominated by the hosts, in the original version being Bridgette and Geoff, as well as the recently eliminated competitors. The Peanut Gallery never really got a chance to be involved. So it was natural for me to overhaul Aftermath a bit to get the Peanut Gallery more involved. Additionally, Geoff and Bridgette are still in the game, so that definitely meant there needed to be new hosts. Right from the very beginning, I knew exactly which two would fill such roles. Throwing Noah in as the third man was a fun idea that's been running in my head for a while.

**DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN THE REVIEWS!**

**Next Up:** The Chefshank Redemption


	6. The Chefshank Redemption

**Total Drama Action Redux**

a _Total Drama_ fan fiction story

by Lord Akiyama

* * *

**Author's Note:** This is an alternate universe story based around my idea of how the series would have gone. It begins from the episode _Alien Resurr-eggtion_ onward. Some elements are the same as in the show, but the rest is taken in a different direction.

_Total Drama_ and its characters are copyright © of Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network. This story was created purely out of sheer enjoyment so please don't sue. Or throw me off a thousand-foot high cliff into a shark-infested lake. That would so smarts.

* * *

**Chapter Six**

The Chefshank Redemption

* * *

_(Narrated by Chris McLean)_

Last week, the dry desert heat baked our favorite partners like roadkill on the blacktop. But crispy bottoms or not, they still had to mount their ancient steed. From a hundred foot platform! Ha-ha!

Despite having a cold for the first half of the competition, Gwen continued to display her competence as a leader as she, along with Harold and Geoff, successfully mounted the horse for the Screaming Gaffers. However, the Killer Grips were able to avoid a third straight loss by ending the challenge in a tie when Duncan, Lindsay, and Beth managed to score for their team.

The tie-breaker was originally planned to be an exciting one-on-one quick draw duel between Duncan and Geoff. But Izzy went totally bonkers, stealing the water pistols and using up all of the water in some bizarre attempt to harm Justin upon concluding that he was responsible for ousting Owen.

But that wasn't all. A calf roping contest had the teams lasso each other. The Grips were the cowboys and the Gaffers were the cattle. But Chef's attempt to tie me down resulted in the Gaffers turning the tables on their would-be captors. Only they forgot about Izzy, who through a pep talk from Trent gave the Grips their first victory.

And then there was the real fun. Apparently, Harold and LeShawna are back together as a couple. Which is bad news for Duncan, because now he has to deal with an ill-tempered soul sister if he wants to keep messing with the nerd. With the Grips winning, that meant curtains for Heather as Gwen, Bridgette, and LeShawna made sure she was the first one on the team to get the boot in the longest elimination ceremony to date.

Will Harold and LeShawna make the most of their renewed relationship?

Will Izzy be able to complete her vengeance against Justin?

Whatever happened to that so-called alliance between Chef and DJ?

Stay tuned to find out who will win this week. See for yourself, next on...

TOTAL... DRAMA... ACTION!

_(Cue Theme Song)_

* * *

As the morning sun continued to rise higher and higher into the sky, the twelve remaining contestants remained asleep in their beds. Sleeping as comfortably as they were willing to get under the circumstances. Knowing full well that at any moment they would be forced to awaken at the sound of a bullhorn being blown at a deafening level by their handsome host. Regardless, there was a sense of peace as all of the competitors slept with ease.

Then the bullhorn was blown.

In the boys trailer, Duncan immediately shot up into a sitting position upon hearing the bullhorn. It resulted in his slamming his head upon the bottom of the bunk bed above him. Sleeping upon the top bed in question was Trent, who flinched in reaction to the bottom of his bed being hit by some thing. Geoff, who slept on the top bed of the bunk positioned next to Trent, merely yawned. Harold, who slept on the top bed of the bunk parallel to where Trent slept, wiped his mouth of any drool that might have trickled out of his mouth. Justin, sleeping on the bottom bed of the bunk positioned next to Harold, appeared to remain asleep. A mini-fan blowing at him as he wore a face mask and placed sliced cucumbers over his eyes.

"Wizz dibs!" Duncan announced as he jumped out of bed, rubbing the spot on his head he had hit previously. "I called it!"

"Can't believe we actually have to call that around here," Trent grumbled, scratching the back of his head before he slowly sat up and stretched his arms outward.

"Sh'yeah, bra," Geoff sighed, letting out another yawn as he rubbed his eyes to wake himself up permanently. "I have a bad feeling college is gonna be the same way."

Duncan casually made his way to the door and pulled on the handle. Only it felt like he was pulled the handle of a sixteen-ton weight as opposed to a door. He continued to pull, this time with both hands, only to find that the door was not opening.

"Hey, a little help?" the punk called out to whomever was closest. That person happened to be Justin.

"This is day twelve of my manicure," Justin proclaimed. He was still laid out on his bed, letting the mini-fan blow oh so nicely upon his body. "To risk any more cuticle damage would be madness."

"Dude, you sound so much like a girl right now that I wouldn't be surprised if you suddenly announced that you swung the other way," Duncan stated firmly. This made some of the others chuckle at the male model's expense.

"Ha-ha," Justin responded sarcastically. "Very funny."

"The door can't be locked," Harold noted, getting back to the more pressing issue at hand as he dropped down from his bunk and walked over to the door. "It locks from the inside, not outside."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Duncan muttered, rolling his eyes in annoyance. He then looked over at the others. "Are any of you guys gonna help me get this thing open or are you just gonna sit there and watch me try to do this all by myself?"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Duncan - "Seems like all the fun I've been having has been sucked dry. I don't have Princess here to compete with. Harold has hooked up with one of the few people who could give me a run for my money, so I can't bother him without having to deal with LeShawna. And Izzy is this close to driving me to the brink. Might as well mess with the least threatening guy around. What's Justin gonna do, try to cut me with his nail filer?"

* * *

The boys were not the only ones dealing with the problem of being unable to open the door to exit their trailer. It seemed that the girls were also facing the same dilemma. Rather, the ones who were awake. Izzy remained asleep despite the loudness of the bullhorn that was blown. The others figured it would be a bad idea to try to wake her. They were scared of what would happen if they did. So they instead concentrated on wondering how to get out of the trailer.

"It's, like, some thing is making the door not open," Lindsay whined as she continued to struggle in pulling the handle. Not quite realizing that her efforts were fruitless. "It's supposed to open when I pull the thingy, right?"

LeShawna sighed and shook her head, watching the blonde girl try desperately to open the door the way she did. As she turned away, some thing caught her eye that appeared to require her immediate attention. "You okay, girl?" she asked.

"Trying to be calm," Gwen muttered. "Trying to be calm." She was sitting upon her bed, her left leg rapidly twitching in an up and down motion while her foot remained planted upon the ground. Her hand covering her forehead and her eyes closed. One could easily see that she looked any thing but calm.

"It shouldn't be that bad of a case of claustrophobia, Gwen," Bridgette noted aloud. She sat next to her friend, a gentle rubbing the other's shoulder. "I mean, look at all of the space we've got here."

"And you're not being buried alive," Beth pointed out in an attempt to be encouraging.

"Not helping," Gwen stated rather sternly.

"Sorry," Beth squeak, shrinking back a little in genuine honesty.

Bridgette sighed and looked around the trailer. Hoping to see if there was some way they could get out of the predicament they were in. The sooner the better, she felt. She then had a thought. Looking up. An idea that apparently never really crossed the minds of any one else. Once she had looked up, a slight smile of pride formed on her face. "Hey guys," she said, calling out to the others as she pointed up at her discovery. "Look up there."

The girls stopped whatever it was each one was doing and looked up to see what the surfer girl was talking about. Sure enough, they saw a hatch. A seemingly small looking hatch, but a hatch none the less. One that some one could possibly escape through and maybe unlock the door to their freedom.

"Think you can fit through that, Bridge?" LeShawna asked.

Bridgette examined the hatch thoroughly. "I dunno," she answered. "I get the feeling I should be skinnier."

"You have a great figure," Gwen stated, causing the surfer girl to shyly turn her head in flattery. "How much skinnier could you possibly need to be to fit through there?"

"Well..." Bridgette uttered. She swallowed a little and tapped her chin gently, trying to come up with an acceptable answer to give the others. "I was thinking as skinny as..."

At first, it seemed like the surfer girl was being silent because she really could not come up with an excuse for why she felt she should be skinner to fit through the hatch. It took a few moments before the others figured out that she was being silent on purpose. Because the answer was seemingly obvious. One that they would not dare to speak aloud, fearful that saying her name would open a Pandora's Box of uncontrollable chaos. They all simply looked at the girl in question, who slept rather peacefully and, in her own mind, angelic-like in her bed.

"_Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, Dum-dum alum the night,_" Izzy sang happily in her sleep. "_Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, Dun de dun dum plight. He steals dum-dum dun, And dum-dum dum dee. Dennis dun, Dennis dee, dum dum dum._"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Gwen - /_Sighs._/ "I thought I got over my claustrophobia with that God awful challenge last season. Maybe it's the knowledge that Chris is going to throw some thing evil our way that is intensifying it. I'll tell you one thing. He tries to have me buried alive again, I'm gonna punch him so hard it'll knock the gel outta his hair."

* * *

"Just great," Duncan grumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned up against the door. "Never thought I'd have to rely on Dork Boy to help me escape any thing."

"Bra, it was either him or Justin," Geoff noted. Along with Trent, he began to hoist the nerd upon their shoulders. Giving him some assistance in being able to reach the hatch above. But even under the circumstances of their predicament, he still found time to take a jab at the male model. "And besides, Justin doesn't wanna dirty his precious nails."

"You have no idea how much work goes into making these naturally beautiful," Justin explained in a defensive tone, raising up one of his hands to show the others. "I'm not gonna let hours of hard work and careful precision go to waste by having to crawl through some dusty, mangy vent just so we can get out of here."

"The things I gotta put up with for a million bucks..." Duncan sighed as he rolled his eyes.

Once he was positioned upon Geoff and Trent's shoulders, he slowly began to reach up for the hatch. "Almost got it..." he muttered. His fingers managed to touch the metal of the hatch when it was suddenly pulled open faster than he could register what was happening. In a matter of seconds, he found himself face to face with one of the last people he was expecting to see.

"Stand and deliver!" Izzy cried valiantly.

The sudden appearance of the redhead cause Harold to nearly scream. In that same second, he leaned back in an effort to move away from her. Which in turn shifted his weight, loosening the balance Trent and Geoff had on him. Within another couple of seconds, Harold tumbled onto the two and they formed a little pile upon one another. Yet that was the least of their concerns.

"Izzy?" the guys cried in near unison.

"Nay," Izzy proclaimed, trying to mimic an English voice. She also whipped out one of the water pistols from the Western challenge and began pointing it at each and every one of the guys. "Dennis Moore! And now my lords... your lupins, please."

"Our what?" Duncan asked with a confused brow raised.

"Oh, come come," Izzy stated, pointing the water pistol at the punk. "Don't play games with me, my Lord of Duncan."

"What the hell are you talking about, crazy girl?" Duncan questioned in annoyance.

"Your life or your lupins, my lord!" Izzy demanded. She then pointed the water pistol at a certain male model. "In the case of Justin, his life has already been forfeit!" She started spraying water onto her chosen victim, cackling gleefully as she did so.

"Aaahh!" Justin screamed, trying to guard his face with his arms. "I still have the face mask on!"

"Wait a minute," Geoff said as though he just realized some thing. "If she's here, that must mean-"

"Us girls are breaking you out," a familiar voice announced suddenly. All of the boys looked over to see Gwen leaning upon the door frame. The one belonging to the trailer door that apparently was now unlocked and open. "I suggest you boys get a move on before Izzy decides to jump inside."

The boys looked up at Izzy for a moment. Seeing the redhead grin. A sight that was more than enough to cause them to bail out of the trailer as quickly as possible. The girls waiting for them on the outside made sure to keep count of how many exited. The last to exit being, of course, Izzy, who attempted to chase after the boys and fire her water pistol at them.

"Well, the trailer's empty," Beth noted after making the final count. "But how come I only counted five guys instead of six?"

* * *

The reason for there being only five boys as opposed to six was simple. DJ had been pulled out of the trailer much earlier by Chef Hatchet to be given his lessons in manning up. And apparently that included how to properly cook a dish. Which every one knew full well that Chef was downright terrible at doing, even if he would never ever admit to it. Yet he considered it a seemingly fool-proof way to turn DJ into a man.

"Okay, maggot!" Chef called out in attention. "I'm gonna ride you 'til yo' confidence coats the back of a spoon and yo' self-respect forms the peaks! No mo' mama's boy, DJ. Watch and learn." Chef pulled out a butcher's knife and began hacking away at the contents that were placed upon the cutting board. The fact that there was a boot, a fully eaten apple, an empty tin can, and a spoiled banana did not seem to phase the big man.

"Uh, what is that?" DJ asked with a slight whimper.

"Taste perfection, boy," Chef answered, sliding the chopped up contents off of the cutting board and into a pot. He then took a spoonful of the substance and shoved it into DJ's mouth. Not really recognizing that the younger boy clearly felt that the taste of the dish was beyond awful. He then dropped the pot onto the burner and pointed at it. "What'cha tastin' is pride, son. The most important virtue in a man's life. Now stir that pot!" The big man then marched out of the kitchen, leaving DJ to do the remainder of the work all by himself.

"If Chef wants pride, mama's gonna show 'im pride," DJ muttered aloud. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a bottle apparently filled with spices. The label on the bottle had a lot of hearts. "With her special flavor blend. Mama Spice." With a prideful smile, he began to season the contents in the pot with the spice.

* * *

With the remaining boys and the girls all released for their supposed prison, they gathered together near the center of the campground to mingle with one another. Not knowing when their handsome host was going to appear to further ruin their lives, they might as well enjoy whatever moment of freedom they had before being thrown into whatever gauntlet awaited them. Or whatever could pass as freedom under the circumstances.

Izzy placed herself at one end of the campgrounds, hidden behind a bush and using the now empty water pistol like a sniper riffle in an attempt to pick off Justin. The male model was at the other end, looking in a hand-held mirror to make sure all of his beauty enhancements were in check. Beth and Lindsay were not far from him, admiring his handsome appearance from a distance.

Duncan merely sat alone on a log. His head resting upon the palm of the arm propped upon upon his knee. He was trying his best to look away from the remaining six on the campground. For the obvious reason that those six made up three couples. Gwen and Trent, Bridgette and Geoff, Harold and LeShawna. The latter couple making him want to puke.

"I could have been the one to free us guys from our trailer," Harold proclaimed to his girlfriend. "If Izzy hadn't shown up, I would have been able to slip through the hatch and unlock the door from the other side."

"I know you would've, Sugar," LeShawna said with a light laugh. She then placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, sending the nerd into a euphoric state of delightful and loving chuckling. A scene that caused the punk to gag behind their back.

"You okay, babe?" Trent asked Gwen curiously, rubbing her shoulders.

"Yeah," Gwen sighed, rubbing the ends of her eyes lightly. "Just kinda got a little uneasy with the whole notion of being locked in there. I have a bad feeling today is not going to be pretty."

"Sh'yeah, really," Geoff said in agreement. "It's like being locked in the trailers is trying to tell us something."

"Like what kind of challenge we'll be facing, perhaps?" Bridgette questioned curiously. Whether she wanted the answer or not, it came in the form of a familiar voice that made the contestants groan in horror.

"Looks like you kiddies managed to escape your predicament," Chris announced as he walked up to them. Some of the contestants immediately took note of the clothing he was wearing. And they did not like it one bit. Particularly Duncan, who immediately slapped a hand upon his forehead in frustration. "Hope you all enjoyed your first taste of the gulag."

"Gulag?" Lindsay asked in confusion. "I didn't get any gulag." The others decided not to glare at her in response.

"Well, prepare for it to get a whole lot worse," Chris stated with a chuckle. "Because today... is prison flick day!" Decked in a policeman's uniform, Chris waved his nightstick out for the contestants to see that the lot had been surrounded by walls with barbed-wire fences above. The walls encircled the campgrounds, locking them in the area.

"Aww, man," Geoff gasped in worry. He then turned to the punk. "Makes me wish we had you on our team, bra."

"It was only juvenile detention, don't get too excited," Duncan noted, rolling his eyes. "And besides, this is prison Chris style. I highly doubt any one could ever escape from whatever horror awaits us no matter their jail time experience."

"Ah, prison," Chris said as he began to monologue. Acting to a performance that only made the contestants moan with discomfort at having to endure such pain in the first place. "The confinement. The claustrophobia. The vile, nasty food. And your always looking over your shoulder... cause Mr. Killer Dude wants to cut ya for taking the last tater tot. And no matter how hard you try digging out spoon-fulls of dirt year after year, there's no escape! Unless you get voted off, of course."

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Harold - "Talk about overkill. This place is plenty prison like already. Not that I'm complaining. I mean, I should probably be locked up for the ladies' sake any ways."

* * *

The contestants were moved into a studio, decorated specifically as the interior of a cell block. There were lines of prison cells on two floors. In the middle of the studio were two cells independent of the walls and a few tables with various dishes. Each dish filled with content the contestants would rather not want to take a look at. They were then split into their respective teams. It was during the split that they noticed that DJ suddenly appeared. They would have questioned him as to how he got there, but then their handsome host began to talk.

"Lock down, people!" Chris announced. "Today's first game is the Prison Chow-llenge! Each team of prison chefs whips up the foulest, nastiest, most barf-inducing slop this side of Alcatraz. These fine delicacies will then be served to one member of the opposing team. They will have to stomach as much as they can. Last one to power hurl wins!"

"Tell me again why I signed up for this?" LeShawna grumbled with a sigh.

"Let's get this challenge started!" Chris declared. "Teams, take a prisoner from the competition. And Chef..." He paused upon seeing Chef walk up, wearing his military uniform. This made the handsome host grin. "I mean, Warden... lock 'em up!" Chef chuckled in a sinister manner. The kind that sent chills down the spines of the contestants. Then with great hesitation they began to form up into their respective teams and deliberated on who to pick.

"Okay, guys," Trent said in a quite voice, once more assuming his role as leader of the Killer Grips. "We need to pick some one from the other team with a weak stomach. Who should we pick?"

"Oh, pick me!" Izzy cried enthusiastically, hopping up and down in place with a hand raised high above her head. "I'll make 'em puke faster than you can say Walla Walla, Washington five times!"

"We have to pick some one from the other team, Izzy," Beth explained in clarification.

"Oh yeah," Izzy responded in realization. She then turned and called out to the other team. "Hey guys! Pick Justin!"

"Izzy!" Trent said sternly.

"I say we should go with Bridgette," Justin suggested. "She can't stomach any thing that clearly isn't vegetarian. And I highly doubt Chef would ever serve such a dish." While it sounded like a good idea to the others, the fact that the male model even dared to open his mouth made Izzy shoot him with a death glare.

"Dude, pick Harold," Duncan stated. "He claims to be allergic to a lotta things, but I'm banking that he just doesn't want to eat the stuff. Sure sign of a tender stomach."

"Let's flip a coin," Lindsay proclaimed, pulling out a quarter. "Heads, we win. Tails, victory is ours!" The other members of the Killer Grips simply looked at her with a sense of worry in their eyes.

Meanwhile, the Screaming Gaffers were engaged in their own discussions on who to send out from the opposition. "Remember when Lindsay locked herself in the bathroom?" Bridgette asked in remembrance.

"She lost it!" Gwen answered with a light laugh, recalling the details of the event in question. "She drank every one's shampoos as if any of them were Magic potions then barfed on herself."

"She'll crack for sure," Geoff added with a chuckle.

"Maybe we should pick Justin," Harold suggested thoughtfully. "He's very sensitive about his image and having to digest disgusting food would surely make him easily nauseous."

"You ain't gonna like this, girl" LeShawna stated with an apologetic sigh to Gwen. "But I think we should pick Trent."

"Yeah," DJ agreed, nodding his headed. "I still remember that challenge like it was yesterday. He begged us to hold him down since he couldn't eat that stuff willingly."

"Choices?" Chris announced, bringing the deliberation to a close. "Gaffers?"

Gwen looked over at the Killer Grips, picking out one person in particular, and sighed. "We're gonna pick Trent," she said.

Trent flinched upon hearing his name, though he appeared as though he was not surprised. Duncan merely rolled his eyes and groaned upon remembering why the music man would be an ideal candidate for the opposition to pick. Justin, Lindsay, and Beth sighed with relief since they would not have to participate in the challenge. One person, though, was not happy with the pick.

"You got lucky this time, Justin," Izzy muttered firmly to the male model. "This time..."

"Grips?" Chris asked, turning his attention to them.

Trent took a good look at the Screaming Gaffers and gave out an apologetic sigh. "Bridgette," he announced.

Bridgette winced upon hearing her name. Geoff tried to rub the surfer girl's arm in reassurance, but he reacted like the rest of the team. Knowing full well that Bridgette was just as likely as Trent to puke first. Because she was a vegan and the kind of ingredients Chef put out for the food to be made and fed to her would be any thing but to her liking.

"So it will be Trent against Bridgette," Chris noted with a chuckle, rubbing his hands with glee. "Two of the weakest stomachs from the Brunch of Disgustingness challenge last season. I love it!"

Chef made sure that Trent and Bridgette each made their way into one of the two independent prison cells. Once they were in, he locked the doors, ensuring that they would not try to escape their doomed fate of eating whatever nasty meal they were about to be forced to endure. Both contestants were far from pleased to be in the predicament they were in.

"You can do this, babe," Geoff said to Bridgette, trying his best to sound supportive and encouraging to his girlfriend. "Just close your eyes and don't think about what it is you might be eating."

"The less you know, the better," LeShawna added.

Trent watched as Bridgette paid attention to what her teammates were suggesting, nodding her head nervously. The music man then turned to his team. None of them providing him any kind of support. "What, no pep talk?" he asked curiously.

"Dude, you stand as much of a chance winning this as Tyler being able to handle being around chickens," Duncan answered rather bluntly. The others, save for Izzy, appeared to be of the same mindset. No one was sure of how the redhead really felt.

"Gee, thanks," Trent sighed.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Trent - "I'm not gonna hold it against Gwen for picking me for the challenge. I mean, even I would pick myself if you needed some one to puke first. After all, we promised one another to compete for the sake of the others. My heart will accept that all the way. But I don't think my stomach will."

Bridgette - "Oh, why did it have to be an eating challenge that I could so easily lose? It's like this show has it out against vegans just because we don't eat meat. Well, I'm sorry for not being morally comfortable with biting into some thing that was alive. But that doesn't mean you should force me to ingest them under threat of losing out on a million dollars."

* * *

"Gross!" Bridgette cried, taking a very good look at the ingredient on the table that were about to be used to create the food she was going to be forced to eat. The sight of which nearly caused her to vomit right away. She covered her mouth quickly in the hope of calming herself before the seemingly inevitable could happen. "Oh no!"

"The reward better be worth it," Trent groaned. He himself growing very uncomfortable at the sight of what he was about to digest in a moment's time. He then looked over to the handsome host in the impossible hope for some good news.

"Have I ever let you down?" Chris asked. He then quickly spoke before any one could even fathom giving him a response. "Wait! Scratch that. Any way, the winning team gets this." He held up what appeared to be a golden shovel. The contestants did not know exactly what to make of this.

"What are we supposed to do with a shovel?" Lindsay asked in a confused manner. She did not receive an immediate answer.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Harold - "Every body knows that more wars have been won with a shovel than a sword. Give a man a hole and what does he have? Nothing. But give a man a shove and he can dig a hole to contain the nothing."

* * *

"Prisoners ready?" Chris announced to the contestants not locked up in cells. Trent and Bridgette swallowed, realizing that they also have to watch their meal being made in front of them. "And... culinate!" Adding insult to injury, Chris provided commentary on the dishes being made to the displeasure of the two caged contestants. "Duncan goes right for the roaches, Harold tops off the Gaffers' dish with some slimy anchovie paste and oh! Here come the horse lips!"

"Where do you even get these things?" Gwen asked with a bit of shock and awe at seeing the ingredient Harold had used.

"They're obviously imported, gosh!" Harold answered, sounded a bit frustrated as though such a thing was common knowledge.

The goth girl merely shook her head as they walked slightly away from the table. The distance, though, was enough that DJ could approach the table and speaking to himself without the others noticing. He took one look at the dish and was appalled. "How's a self-respecting chef supposed to serve that?" he said in a whispering tone. He then dug into his pocket and pulled out what would surely be a secret ingredient to be added. "Mama Spice. And mama would be proud. I think." He then began to season the dish.

"Nice work, Beth," Justin said in compliment to Beth. She had gathered together a large chuck of dead and discarded hair from the ground, no doubt to be used in the dish they would serve to Bridgette. "I knew I could count on you."

Being complimented by Justin caused Beth to fluster. She had just handed over the dead hair particles to him when she began to hyperventilate and then falling back, nearly passing out as a result. But what went completely unnoticed by every one except the cameras was that her retainer had dropped out of her mouth and into the dish. Her own accidentally added secret ingredient to be served for the surfer girl to eat.

"A whole lotta dead hair going into the Grips concoction," Chris said, continuing to commentate on the ingredients being added to the dishes. "Oh! And what's this?" He watched as Izzy literally shoved Justin out of the way and proudly held up a small bowl. The contents within were very clear to many of the contestants and the handsome host. And they were content to leave it at that because they were too afraid to know how in the world the redhead got her ingredients in the first place. She giggled as she sprinkled them into the dish with Chris singing along with glee. "On top of spaghetti, All covered in flakes, And Bridge has to eat it, 'cause thems just the breaks!" This display of showmanship causing Bridgette to get sicker as she clutched her stomach and moaned in despair. This was not going to be a pleasant day for her.

"You are one twisted man, Chris," LeShawna proclaimed to the handsome host in frustration.

"Thank you!" Chris responded with a bow. "Time's up! And jailbirds? Hope your appetites are prime."

"Feeling queasy?" Justin asked in a mocking tone and he handed Bridgette her dish. She was very much afraid of the food she was given and the fact that she was going to have to eat it. Justin grin only made her feel even more uncomfortable. It was at this point that she began to wonder why she signed up for the show.

"We have the brazed horse lips with the goat brains fricassee and the fish gut reduction," Harold explained and he handed Trent his dish. "Topped off, of course, with some toe nail clippings. Bon appétit!" Trent closed his eyes and shuddered. He clearly did not want to hear virtually every single ingredient that had been used to create his meal. Even he knew it was going to take a miracle for him to digest any of this.

"Ooo, tasty!" Izzy mused as she took a good look at the dish Trent was given.

"Horse lips are low fat and low carb, right?" Lindsay asked curiously. This resulted in her receiving looks from Justin, Beth, and Duncan. An act that some how went completely unnoticed by the blonde.

"Are you maggots ready?" Chris asked in announcement. What the majority of the contestants did not see was that there was at least one actual live maggot in Bridgette's dish. Seeing it nod its head only made the surfer girl even more queasy. "One minute to down that chow. And... dig in!"

With great reluctance and hesitation, Trent and Bridgette began to dig into their meals. Bridgette made sure to push aside the maggots before scooping up her first bite. Once it was inside her mouth, she started to moan with great suffering. "So... gross..." she managed to say through the disgusting food in her mouth.

Trent took a series of quick deep breaths before finally shoving a spoonful of his meal into his mouth. He squirmed until he started tasting the food. He opened one eye in confusion. As he chewed some more, he opened the other eye and starred at the dish in his hand. "Huh," he started to say aloud. "You guys are not gonna believe this... but this is actually pretty good." He took a second bite to make sure he believed what he was saying. He could not understand it, but the food was actually pretty tasty.

"Really?" Izzy asked with excitement. "I knew it! Lemme try, lemme try!"

The rest of the Killer Grips expressed a different sense of enthusiasm. "Yay, we're winning!" Lindsay cheered.

"I actually don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing," Beth commented in awe.

"How can some thing so obviously unhealthy taste good?" Justin questioned, scratching his head in confusion.

"Clearly you've never eaten fast food," Duncan replied in a dry tone to the male model. The punk also made sure to glare at him for effect. "Which means you're even less of a guy than ever before."

To say the Screaming Gaffers were perplexed would be an understatement. "Dudes, he's enjoying our grub," Geoff stated.

"Don't look at me," Gwen said, raising her hands up in defense. "I didn't even want to touch it."

"She's right," Harold said. "Only us guys were committed to making the dish as disgusting as possible."

"Then why is Trent scarfin' it down like it's Thanksgivin' turkey?" LeShawna asked in disbelief. None of the four were really paying attention to their other teammate, DJ. Who seemed to take a sense of pride in the fact that he contributed to a meal that actually tasted good. The opposite of what the challenge required.

Not wanting to let her team down, Bridgette continued to eat her food. It was when she took a third bite that she noticed some thing was off. And since the dish was disgusting in the first place, that made her very concerned. She pulled some thing out of her mouth and looked at it in horror, dropping it onto the floor. "Oh my God!" the surfer girl screamed upon seeing the object on the ground and pointing at it. "What is that?"

"Thanks!" Beth cried, which caught every one by surprise. Then they watched as she bent down and picked up the object. Upon closer inspection, some could make out that it was a retainer. "My dad woulda killed me." Every one watched as she placed the retainer back into her mouth. Without regard for where it had been.

The sight of this caused every one else to be sick. Particularly Trent and Bridgette, who had been eating disgusting food. Even though his tasted surprisingly good, the fact that he had been eating it and having watched Beth put her dirty retainer back into her mouth was too much for the music man to handle. Before he knew it, he unleashed a projective vomit right out of his mouth. He was unconscious to the fact that he was facing Bridgette and that he was about to puke upon her. The second she was hit with Trent's vomit, the surfer girl immediately barfed herself. Every one else was getting very close to doing the same.

"Oh, a double whammy!" Chris announced with a glorious chuckle. "But Bridgette kept it down longer for the Screaming Gaffers and wins the reward!" Some of the Killer Grips looked over at Beth. Seeing the glares that she was receiving from her teammates, she sheepishly shrunk into herself in embarrassment.

"This is... so... vile..." Bridgette managed to say through deep breaths upon being released from her cell.

"Aw, don't worry, Bridge," Chris said, trying to sound supporting and reassuring. "You and your Gaffers have the golden shovel. They'll be thanking you in the elimination challenge." He then tossed the golden shovel to the Screaming Gaffers, which was caught by Geoff. The winning team appeared to have kind of cheered, but the enthusiasm was very much removed. Any and all attempt at excitement was replaced by wonder. Was a shovel worth Bridgette's suffering?

After Trent and Bridgette moaned their way out of their cells, Izzy skipped over to the cell her teammate was in and picked up the dish. She scooped some of the food and stuck into her mouth. After swallowing, she smiled with joy. "Hey guys, you gotta try this!" she called out to her team. "It really is good!"

"I'll just... take your word for it," Justin responded, flinching at what he had just seen.

"Wimp!" Izzy declared before dumping the rest of the food into her mouth.

"Chef, sir," DJ said with excitement as he ran over to the big man. The latter being cloaked in the shadows. "Did you see that challenge? You were right, Chef. Pride is every thin'. Thank you."

"You've learned nothing!" Chef barked in anger.

DJ looked bewildered. "Bu-But pride, Chef," he tried to say.

"Pride?" Chef questioned in response, as though the word itself was insulting. "Pride and two bucks will get you a cup'a coffee! What a man really needs is loyalty. If it wasn't fo' Beth's disgustin' retainer thing, ya coulda blown it for the whole team."

"Oh wow," DJ uttered, as if he had just realized what it was Chef was trying to say.

"I was once like you," Chef said, playing a hand on DJ's shoulder. "Young, weird, kinda ugly. But you've got a gift. Now want it! Don't let it go to waste. Like I did." Turning on a dime, he dropped the nice guy act and resumed his military drill sergeant persona. "Meet me in the kitchen after the challenge. Yer on permanent K.P. duty, soldier." He turned and walked away.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

DJ - "Who knew Chef was such a softy. But I can't argue with the man. I got a gift. More spice. I love my mama."

Justin - "Just when I thought Izzy would be the perfect target for the next elimination, Duncan starts hassling me nonstop about how I take care of my appearance. Being a model takes dedication and hard work to make sure this body does not spoil. And he's really starting to get under my skin with all of his mockery. If he keeps it up, he just may end up prolonging Izzy's stay."

* * *

The contestants right outside of the studio they had just been in. The handsome host waited for them next to two large laundry carts. Behind him was an open field filled with various obstacles. One looked to be a series of motorized posts swinging nightsticks in the open space between. Another had swinging duffel bags over a pair of thin wooden walkways that were above a pool of water. The last was a series of dolls dressed up as convicts with sharp spikes sticking out of their hands. An obstacle course worthy of being conceived by one Chris McLean.

"Elimination challenge!" Chris announced gleefully. "Here we go! No get outta jail free cards here, people. This is Escape from Total Drama Pen. Each team must hop into their laundry carts while one member pushes through the obstacle course to freedom. When you reach the wall, get diggin'. First team to reach the boxcar of freedom wins immunity. Convicts, select a pusher."

"I'll do it!" DJ announced rather suddenly to the shock of his teammates.

"Do my ears deceive me or did Mr. I-Don't-Wanna-Get-Any-One-Hurt-So-I-Won't-Be-The-Ox just volunteer," LeShawna stated. While her words sounded as though they were meant to make DJ second-guess himself, she was actually speaking a playful tone. The rest of the team followed along in teasing their teammate.

"Dude, every thing is riding on this," Geoff noted.

"You sure you can handle the pressure?" Gwen asked.

"Um... yes?" DJ after thinking about it for a moment. Upon giving his answer, the team dropped the act and gave a proper sense of encouragement for actually volunteering for the sake of the team.

"Alright, DJ!" Harold cheered, pumping a fist in the air.

"Way to step up for the team, bra," Geoff stated, lightly slapping DJ on the arm.

"Yeah," DJ said in a prideful tone. "That's right. Steppin' up for the team." The joy was temporarily cut short by the sound of puking. The team looked over to see Bridgette coughing down toward the ground.

"Oh God," Bridgette managed to utter. "I think there's some aftertaste of the retainer still in my mouth."

"So which of you guys is gonna be pushing us?" Beth asked, looking specifically at the male members of the Killer Grips. As soon as she was finished asking the question, Trent gagged and nearly threw up.

"Sorry, guys," the music man apologized, catching his breath. "I think I'm... still a little..." He did not need to complete his sentence as every one could see that he was clearly was not going to be the one.

"Justin," Lindsay suggested, sweetly looking at the male model. "We could sure use some real manliness here."

"Him?" Duncan questioned with a scoff. "Manly? Ha! He's about as manly as Katie and Sadie combined."

"How could you say that about Justin?" Beth responded angrily. "Look at his gorgeous chest."

"Oh believe me, that chest of his is all talk and no action," Izzy stated, waving it off as some thing that clearly was not all that special. "Izzy would know, Izzy speaks from experience."

"How dare you state such lies!" Lindsay yelled as though she were the one who was insulted.

"Ladies, ladies," Justin said in a calming voice, easing the tension down before it exploded any further. "There's no need argue with those who are ignorant. They don't know any better. But, just to prove a point, I'll humor them this time and volunteer to push the cart." Beth and Lindsay squealed with joy.

"You just watch how strong Justin is," Beth proclaimed at the doubting punk and redhead.

"This should be rich," Duncan noted.

"For sure," Izzy added with a nod.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Duncan - "... Did I just become chummy with Izzy? ... Okay, it's clear that I've gone completely nutty."

Izzy - /_Face up against camera, whispers._/ "Izzy may have gained an unexpected ally in Duncan. Duncan taking his frustrations out on Justin. Izzy likes this. Izzy sees this as an opportunity to get Justin eliminated if we lose. Izzy just needs to see if Trent will help in slaying that liar for good."

Justin - "Oh! Getting tag teamed by Duncan and Izzy. If only there was some way to eliminate the both of them at the same time! The nerve of them to say things about me like that."

* * *

The teams piled into their respective laundry carts while their chosen pushers placed themselves into position. Both DJ and Justin looked determined to proceed in the challenge, wanting to prove their worth to their teams. They were so focused, their eyes were fixed upon the wall that they were pushing towards.

"This is it, teams," Chris announced. "On your marks... get set... escape!"

DJ and Justin began pushing and running with all of their might in an effort to out race each other. This sense of productive activity surprised their respective teammates. The Killer Grips were impressed that the male model could actually back up his muscular appearance while the Screaming Gaffers were amazed that DJ is actually performing like some one who seemed to be willing to do whatever it took to win. Both pushed through the obstacles with no problems. The real concern for both of the pushers turned out to be the occupants in the carts.

"DJ, slow down!" Bridgette cried, her head hanging out of the laundry cart. "I feel like I'm gonna..."

"We can't slow down!" DJ responded. "Not when we're neck and neck with the other team!"

"Is it just me or does it seem like DJ is more committed to the challenge than ever before," Harold mused aloud.

"As long as he doesn't mind being on the receiving end of a Bridgette barf in about thirty seconds," Gwen noted.

"Maybe I shouldn't have scarfed down as much of that dish as I did..." Trent muttered aloud.

"Would you mind holding it in for just a little while longer there, Trent?" Justin asked, a sense of worry in the tone of his voice. There was a clear and obvious reason for this. One that did not go unnoticed.

"What's the matter?" Duncan questioned mockingly. "Can't handle being doused in our leader's stomach content?"

"Blow chunks!" Izzy chanted. "Blow chunks! Blow chunks!"

"Izzy!" Beth cried in frustration. "This is not helping the team!"

Despite these distractions, DJ and Justin continued to push through and run their race. Toward the end, Justin started to pull ahead and made his way to the wall first. He stopped upon seeing that there was a pair of white X's on the ground. Recognizing that they would be digging from there. Shortly after stopping, Trent found himself vomiting over the side of the cart. Unfortunately for the redhead, none of the particles hit the male model.

"Awww, you threw up too late," Izzy pouted.

"So, like, how are we supposed to get through this wall?" Lindsay asked as the Killer Grips exited their cart.

"We're digging," Duncan replied. He bent down and picked up several objects on the ground. "With these."

"Spoons?" Beth questioned in disbelief.

"Even better," Duncan responded as he tossed a spoon to each teammate. "Plastic spoons."

"How does Chris expect us to tunnel our way underneath the wall at all using plastic spoons?" Justin asked in frustration.

"Clearly you've never been incarcerated," Duncan noted. He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Come on, follow my lead."

Moments later, the Screaming Gaffers came to a stop at the other X. While Bridgette did not hurl, she was still feeling queasy, rocking her head back and forth while giving out a low moan.

"It's okay, babe," Geoff said in an assuring voice. "We've stopped now."

"No time for rest," DJ proclaimed, immediately hopping over to the X and digging with the shovel. "We gotta get a move on."

"DJ's right," Harold stated. "We may have a shovel, but it's no good if we don't use it to our advantage." The rest of the team made their way over to help DJ by clearing away the dirt he was digging out. LeShawna noticed that there was some one who was not quite involved. She looked over to see Gwen looking very nervous.

"You okay girl?" LeShawna asked curiously.

"We're going to be digging a tunnel," Gwen began to answer. "Underground. With barely enough room to move."

"Oh damn," LeShawna uttered in realization. "I almost forgot your claustrophobia"

"Don't you mean her fear of getting buried alive?" Geoff pointed out. This resulted in him receiving hard glares from Gwen, LeShawna, and even Bridgette. "Whoops. Sorry."

* * *

On the other side of the wall, Chris and Chef waited by the boxcar to be used as the finish line. Chris was actually sitting in it while Chef merely leaned against it. Both waiting patiently for one of the teams to appear from underneath the ground and finish the race. Rather, waiting as patiently as they were willing to be.

"So..." Chris began to say, breaking the silence. "You ever seen that prison flick? The one with the guy in it? You know, the guy with the face?" He looked over at Chef, who gave no immediate response. "So... you doing any thing after work? We could always rent a..." There was still no response coming from Chef. "Or not. I was... busy... any... way..." Chris swung his feet about. "Very busy, just throwing it out there..."

* * *

Having only plastic spoons to use, the Killer Grips found themselves in a dire predicament if they hope to have any chance at beating the Screaming Gaffers, who had a shovel. Still, Duncan's directions allowed for the Grips to move along at a pace they clearly did not expect to have using the tools available to them.

"I'm amazed we've managed to dig this far this fast on plastic spoons," Trent commented aloud in amazement.

"When you're trying to escape from a desperate situation, you'll use any thing," Duncan noted.

"We just might win this after all!" Lindsay cheered with excitement.

"I wouldn't be so confident," Duncan stated. He then motioned over to Justin. "Not when some one is keeping us from going any faster by not digging because he's so concerned about getting dirt in his nails!"

"It's not my fault that I have to keep every inch of my body primmed and clean at all times," Justin explained to why he was simply sitting back and letting the rest do the work. "Being a model takes dedication."

"Yeah, it's not his fault he has to look the way he does," Beth said, trying to defend Justin. "You leave him alone!"

"It's called soap and water," Trent proclaimed, rolling his eyes with annoyance. "Just dig already!"

"Speaking of, like, some one who is so not helping," Lindsay noted. Some thing that surprised every one on the team, including herself. She then managed to continue her point. "Where is Indy?"

Almost as if on cue, some thing burst out of the soil in ahead of them. After they cleared the dust from their eyes, the Killer Grips could see that it was Izzy with her head popped out. They also noticed that she was wearing fake buck teeth as well as a camo hat with branches sticking out at the top.

"Yip, yip, yip!" Izzy cried, acting like some kind of animal. One that suddenly jumped up and appeared on top of her head. "Hey guys, check it out! I've made some friends since I started living among the prairie dogs!" The animal then began to yell at the apparent intruders into its home. It was even waving a fist at them in anger. "Aww, Butchie. It's okay. These are my friends."

"I think for the sake of my sanity I'm not gonna comment on just how wrong this whole thing sounds," Duncan managed to say, speaking aloud the very same thought that every one else on the team had about Izzy.

"Follow me!" Izzy declared. "I know a shortcut to the finish-place!" She then popped her head back into the soil, disappearing from the sight of her teammates. Leaving them further confused and bewildered.

"Soil is much looser if we follow her," Trent noted, breaking the silence that last for a moment.

"And I don't like the idea of having to dig a different path," Duncan said with a sigh. "Come on."

* * *

Meanwhile, the Screaming Gaffers were moving along at a steady and easy pace. One team member would dig with the shovel while the rest would clear away the dirt. After several moments, they would trade off who would do the digging to a fresh pair of hands. At the moment, Harold was in possession of the shovel.

"Team!" DJ began to declare rather suddenly. "We're the Screaming Gaffers. We're gonna win even if we have to dig with our bare hands, even if we have to eat our way out." This started to get on the nerves of his team.

"Dude, we have a shovel," Geoff pointed out in annoyance. "No need to yell like that."

"But it's the thought that counts," Bridgette said, patting DJ's arm in reassurance.

Over in the back, LeShawna was keeping watch over Gwen, who was still bundled up in nerves over where exactly she was. "Thanks for taking over, LeShawna," the goth girl said, trying to maintain a clear, calm voice as she spoke. "I'm having a hard time getting over my claustrophobia at the moment."

"Girl, don't sweat it," LeShawna said in assurance. "At the pace we're goin', we'll be outta here in no time."

"Any body hear that?" Bridgette asked rather suddenly, startling nearly the entire team and causing them to stop.

"Please don't say things like that aloud," Gwen whispered sternly.

"Sorry," Bridgette apologized sheepishly. Seconds later, the apparent sound that the surfer girl heard returned. And this time, she was not the only one who picked up on it.

"Whatever it is, it's getting closer," Geoff noted aloud.

"But there can't be any carnivorous mine slugs around here," Harold proclaimed. "They're only indigenous in Brazil."

"Say what now?" LeShawna asked, looking at her nerd boyfriend with a confused raised brow.

"Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm," Gwen repeated to herself over and over in a mutter.

Moments later a large chunk of soil burst out from the side of the tunnel they had dug. While it was nothing within the same league of a carnivorous mine slug, it was some thing that still would typically strike fear in the hearts of many in an enclosed space.

"Izzy?" the Gaffers cried in confusion.

"Ooo, look!" Izzy cried, pointing at the ground of the tunnel. "I found a penny!" She hopped out onto the ground to pick up the penny. In doing so, the rest of the Killer Grips came spilling into the tunnel. Once they had figured out where they were, they realized that they were not that much closer to the finish line than they had been led to believe.

"Are you kidding me?" Justin complained in frustration. "You led us straight into the other team."

"At least we know they're not ahead," Trent noted, trying to keep things positive.

"Even better," Duncan proclaimed. He then ran up and swiped the shovel right out of Harold's hands. "I got their shovel! Let's get moving!" He immediately began digging into the soil with his newly acquired tool.

"Hey!" Harold cried. He then jumped in and made a grab at reclaiming the shovel from the punk despite lacking the obvious strength to do so. "That's our shovel! We won that fair and square!"

"Nothing in the rules about us not being allowed to steal it," Duncan stated. It did not require him to use all that much force of strength to shove Harold easily to the ground.

"Like hell I'm gonna let you steal our shovel!" LeShawna hollered. She then made a grab for a shovel and she had the strength to match Duncan, causing them to engage in a tug-of-war for the shovel. A sight that left every one else in shock and awe, unable to really do any thing else while this was going on.

"You okay, Gwen?" Trent asked upon seeing his goth girl fidgeting.

"We're underground in an enclosed space," Bridgette explained. "If we don't get her outta here soon, she's gonna freak."

"Is that bad?" Lindsay asked curiously. Under normal circumstances, she would have received glares from those who heard her.

"Nice going leading us into the other team, Izzy," Justin stated in further frustration at the redhead.

"At least I'm doing some thing to help the team," Izzy pointed out in defense, crossing her arms over her chest. "Unlike you, Mr. Lying-Oh-I-Shouldn't-Dig-Because-I'll-Get-A-Hangnail."

"My contract is very specific about me not receiving such damage to my perfectly groomed body," Justin responded.

"Then why would you wanna come onto this show in the first place, bra?" Geoff asked with a raised brow.

"My agent told me it would help boost my career," Justin answered, as though it was some thing to be proud of.

The fighting between LeShawna and Duncan for the shovel was beginning to reach a dangerous point. As they struggled, the shovel was being swung about. At one point, it came very close to nailing Gwen. Which, unfortunately, set her off.

"Aaahhhh!" Gwen cried, getting up to her feet. As the shovel came near her again, she managed to rip it right out of the hands of both LeShawna and Duncan. The sight of her freaking out caught every one's attention and it scared them. "The walls! They're closing in! I'm like a caged animal, man! I can't take another second!" She took the shovel and started to swing it about wildly. Every one ducked as quickly as they could. Harold, however, did not duck fast enough and found himself on the receiving end of the golden shovel being smashed in half over his head.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Harold - /_Bandage over head._/ "Classic prison madness. And that shovel thing? Heck. Every one knows first day of prison, break some thing over some big dude's back. Then nobody messes with you. I'm kinda scared of Gwen now. And kind of attracted to her. ... Don't tell LeShawna or Trent or... or Gwen!"

* * *

"I'm... so... sorry..." Gwen uttered quietly. In shock and horror over what she had done to Harold. It would end up becoming the catalyst for what would happen next almost immediately.

"Now look what you did!" LeShawna screamed at Duncan.

"Me?" Duncan question in response. "What the hell did I do?"

"You caused all this!" LeShawna replied in great anger.

"How?" Duncan asked back, his frustration building up. "I'm not the one who bashed Harold upside the head!"

"If you hadn't crashed in here in the first place, it wouldn't have happened!" LeShawna answered furiously.

"We were following crazy girl's lead!" Duncan yelled in response.

"You chose to follow her!" LeShawna stated firmly. "Which resulted in you endin' up here! Which in turn caused you to try to steal our shovel! Which in turn caused my girl to freak and accidentally hit my man!"

"Oh, so now every thing that happened was my fault!" Duncan responded, the level of his anger reaching its boiling point. "Just because I chose to follow Izzy! Honey, that's a load of crap and you know it!"

"What did you just call me?" LeShawna questioned. The tone of her voice was much more vicious than any one in the tunnel had ever heard it before. This was an angry LeShawna they had never encountered before.

"You don't like being called '_Honey_'?" Duncan asked, pushing his luck. "What'cha gonna do about it? _Honey_!"

"That is it!" LeShawna roared, stomping her feet toward the punk. "I am shovin' what's left of our shovel right up yo' behind!"

"Bring it!" Duncan responded, not backing down from the impending threat.

In seconds, every one watched in horror as Duncan and LeShawna engaged in what would surely be a legendary fight. Fists were flying and bodies were smashed. Neither one was holding back and were going full force in an attempt to destroy one another. The others were absolutely terrified to even fathom trying to break them up. Instead, they made it worse.

"If your gonna blame some one for any thing, blame Izzy for leading us here in the first place," Justin proclaimed.

"Izzy will not stand for this any longer!" Izzy cried, having been suddenly pushed to her limit in an instant. She then pounced onto Justin and began trying to dig her nails into him, roaring along the way.

"Ahh!" Justin cried, trying his best to hold her off. "Ahh! Get her off! Get her off!" He was quickly losing the battle. Until he received some unsuspecting help from the most seemingly unlikely of people.

"You leave him alone, Izzy!" Beth yelled. She ran up and used all her strength in an effort to pull Izzy off of Justin. It really wasn't working, but it was enough to keep the redhead from actually causing physical harm to the male model.

The rest of the contestants watched with a mixture of disbelief and some horror. Witnessing a pair of fights breaking out while they were all underground in tunnels that they made themselves. Trent held Gwen, trying to keep her calm so that she would not freak out again. Harold was barely conscious after the hit to the head and was being attended to by DJ. Every one else just stared at the violence on display in front of them.

"Maybe we should head back and wait until things cool down," Bridgette suggested.

"I'm with ya, babe," Geoff said, nodding his head.

"But we gotta keep movin'," DJ stated. "We're so close to the finish."

"Not while the way out is blocked by so many people fighting each other," Trent pointed out. "Besides, I think we should get Gwen out of here before she freaks out again."

"And there's all kinds of bugs down here," Lindsay whined.

They got up and were about the head back down the tunnel to return to the starting point. DJ having hoisted Harold onto his shoulders. Then stopped to take another look at the fighting that was going on. And in doing so, they noticed some thing rather interesting. After carefully studying what was happening some more, a realization came over them.

"Hey dudes, check it out," Geoff said, pointing at the display of fisticuffs. "Looks like all the fighting is digging a tunnel."

"It's going at a pace that was faster than when we had the shovel," Bridgette added. The contestants looked at one another for a moment. And then looked back at the fighting in front of them.

* * *

"So the Englishman says, '_I do it for the Queen_', and jumps out of the window," Chris said aloud. After some time, he started telling anecdotes. Chef wasn't really paying any attention at first, but then got bored and decided to listen to some. "And the Scotsman says, '_I do it for my country_', and stabs himself in the head with a pair of scissors. And the Irishman says-"

Chris was suddenly interrupted by the sound of loud screaming and yelling bursting out from underground. Seconds later, a ball composed of Duncan and LeShawna fighting bounced its way from the newly made hole into the boxcar. Chris managed to hop down and move out of the way before he could find himself being nailed by the two. Shortly afterward, another ball emerged from the hole and bounced into the boxcar. This one made up of Izzy, Justin, and Beth.

The rest of the contestants then stuck their heads out from the hole, looking to make sure they were on the other side of the wall. Upon spying the boxcar, they began pushing and shoving one another in an effort to reach it first. Tripping was eventually involved and soon every one began spilling into the boxcar virtually at the some time. Leaving Chris and Chef to figure out which team got all of its members in first.

"Huh," Chris managed to utter after staring for a moment. He gave off a nonchalant tone when he spoke. A potentially telling sign to the contestants who were paying attention. "Looks like a photo finish to me."

"Too bad we ain't got a photo," Chef noted. Also speaking in a nonchalant tone.

"Oh yeah," Chris mused. After another moment of silence, he shrugged. "Guess we'll have to review the tape, then. You kids head on over to the Craft Services Tent and dig into some grub while we figure out who the winner is, m'kay?" Chris and Chef then turned and walked away, as if nothing important happened. Leaving the majority of the contestants looking rather bewildered as to what just occurred.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

LeShawna - "I may not have the power to vote that punk's skinny ass off now, but you can bet I'm gonna make sure he gets what's comin' to him! He thinks he can get away with his crap on my man, he's dead wrong!"

Duncan - "Now she's just looking for any excuse to blame me for every little thing that happens to her precious '_Ginger Biscuit_'. I will gladly take responsibility for my actions, but I'm not gonna let some big butted diva blame me for some thing I did not do. No matter how much I wouldn't mind taking the credit."

Beth - "What is the matter with Izzy? She was attacking Justin for no good reason. As if she wasn't crazy before, now she's totally psycho. She needs to be voted off for every one's safety."

Justin - /_Pouting._/ "That crazy redhead. Trying to ruin my good looks." /_Takes a deep breath and regains posture._/ "It's okay. I've got the other girls hook, line, and sinker. They'll do any thing for me."

Izzy - "Beth and Lindsay have been brainwashed by his stupid handsome looks! He's taken our women! Izzy will not stand for this! Izzy must get Trent and Duncan to join forces so we can take back our women!"

* * *

The contestants sat in the Craft Services Tent, eating their lunch. They were originally separated by teams, but the Killer Grips soon found themselves separating from one another. Justin, Beth, and Lindsay gathered at one end. Izzy sat close to Trent and Duncan at the other. The redhead sending a death glare over to those she was separated from. Duncan was making every possible effort to avoid making any sort of glance over to the other team while Trent looked too uncomfortable with the prospect of eating. Most of the Screaming Gaffers, in particular Geoff, Bridgette, and DJ, watched all of this with a sense of worry.

"I'd hate to be on their team right now, bra," Geoff commented.

"You could feel the animosity even over here," Bridgette noted in addition.

It was quickly decided to just avoid what was going on over there and concentrate on their own concerns. Mainly that Harold had a big lump on his head and Gwen looked extremely guilty for having been responsible.

"I'm really sorry for hitting you over the head with the shovel, Harold," Gwen apologized.

"That's okay," Harold responded with a smile. "I have seen a lot of times back home when people who suffer claustrophobia will do things they regret because of the panic attack they were suffering."

"Here, baby," LeShawna said. The tone of her voice started to sound rather flirtatious. "Lemme make you feel better with a lil' sugar." As she gently applied a new bandage on Harold lump, she gave him a soft kiss to the cheek. Sending the nerd into a euphoric state of bliss. Seeing this brought smiles to Gwen and Bridgette's faces, being able to witness their friend finally be able to engage in some thing romantic.

Moments later, the handsome host appeared with Chef walking in step behind him. Once again, they appeared very nonchalant. "Listen up, contestants," Chris announced, clearing his throat beforehand. "After careful viewing of the tape time and time again, we've come to a clear conclusion. We have a tie."

"Tie?" the contestants questioned in unison.

"Yep, a tie," Chris replied. He then began to talk at a pace that seemed to be picking up speed with each sentence spoken. "We thought about flipping a coin to see which team would get the win, but we couldn't decide upon which team would be heads. So we're just gonna leave it as a draw and postpone elimination until the next challenge. Which is too bad, because the next challenge will feature a reward some of you guys would like very much. So it just adds pressure for y'all to bring your A-game as opposed to slacking off since it previously would have meant it was a non-elimination challenge. But instead, you kiddies tied this one so now the next challenge will have an elimination. Yet we're still gonna keep the reward because we think it's fun if you people try to murder each other over both avoid elimination and trying to win such a lovely reward. A reward I'm not gonna tell you about right now because it would ruin the fun of you kids fighting so hard for a reward I've been hyping up as being some thing worth competing for. Savvy?"

The contestants looked very perplexed. Unsure if they were able to understand all of what was said from the handsome host. Not surprisingly, it appeared that Izzy may have figured out what Chris had explained. Though one could never tell. Still, it seemed reasonable that she would know. Why else would she be grinning like the Cheshire Cat, rubbing her hands slowly, and letting out a low and very maniacal sounding laugh?

"Okay then," Chris said, not really caring if any of the contestants got what he said or not. "You guys enjoy the rest of the afternoon and I'll see you when it's time for the next challenge." The handsome host, along with Chef, then turned and walked away. Leaving the contestants alone to finish their lunch.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Trent - /_Breathing heavily._/ "I think my stomach is gonna need all afternoon to recover. That food I ate in the challenge must've been a lot nastier in-spite of the taste. Don't wanna be feeling this all week."

Gwen - "Just great. I let my claustrophobia get the best of me and I whack Harold over the head with a golden shovel." /_Sighs._/ "I think I really need this afternoon off to ease myself over from this one."

Geoff - "Dudes, I'm so glad to get the afternoon off. Will help me work on more stuff to say to Bridge. If I can just figure out what they mean and all. Like this." /_Holds up '_Sense and Sensibility_' and reads._/ "_'All I want, all I've ever wanted is the quiet of a private life, but my mother wants me distinguished.'_ I think that would definitely impress my Schmoopy-Schmoo, but I don't even know what is being said, bra."

Chris - "Folks are getting feisty. A pair of feuds going down and some one wanting to use Jane Austen to impress his chick. Too bad things are not going to get any easier for them from here on out. Not if I have any thing to do about it. And I do. Because I rule! Na-ha-ha-ha! Check... you... later!"

* * *

Voted Off - Owen, Heather

* * *

Sorry it took so long, folks. But then that is the holidays for you. I will just leave it at that because the details would hardly interest you guys. Any way, on to my notes for this chapter...

The original plan was for an elimination to take place in this chapter. But after writing the original ending, I felt as though it would be a hindrance to what I have been developing to this point. So I changed it and moved the elimination over into the next chapter. Which has to be done there since every thing else afterward has been mapped out proper.

With regards to this episode, it seemed to me that Gwen's claustrophobia should have been a major factor when it came time to digging the tunnel. After all, they're underground, and her greatest fear is being buried alive. Which is what could easily happen if some thing went wrong. In the original episode, it was played out merely as a method of her throwing the challenge. That did not work for me, so I made it as an added obstacle for the Screaming Gaffers to overcome since the majority of the plot had been changed as a result of what I have been doing so far.

Thanks to every one who has so far submitted ideas for the upcoming Aftermath. I know it will be some time before the next one and I also know many of you are waiting until the next set of eliminations happen. But to those who went ahead and created characters and questions in the forum, many thanks. I'm hoping things will move along soon enough so that you will continue to contribute by the time the next Aftermath rolls around. Remember, the link to the forum is on my profile page and you're welcome to submit as many characters and questions as you want. Just don't forget to read the rules. Also, you might wanna check the forum from time to time in case I posted a reply for clarification.

**DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN THE REVIEWS!**

**Next Up:** One Flu Over the Cuckoos


	7. One Flu Over the Cuckoos

**Total Drama Action Redux**

a _Total Drama_ fan fiction story

by Lord Akiyama

* * *

**Author's Note:** This is an alternate universe story based around my idea of how the series would have gone. It begins from the episode _Alien Resurr-eggtion_ onward. Some elements are the same as in the show, but the rest is taken in a different direction.

_Total Drama_ and its characters are copyright © of Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network. This story was created purely out of sheer enjoyment so please don't sue. Or throw me off a thousand-foot high cliff into a shark-infested lake. That would so smarts.

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

One Flu Over the Cuckoos

* * *

_(Narrated by Chris McLean)_

Last time on Total Drama Action...

Imprisoned in a world they didn't create...

The remaining teens competed in challenges related around prison films. Duncan's impressive resume as a juvenile delinquent would play a key role in the Killer Grips keeping pace with the Screaming Gaffers. Better him than Justin, who was more concerned with making sure his precious, beautiful body was not soiled by even a grain of dirt.

Forced to ingest deadly foods, and even to taste them twice...

Trent and Bridgette had to relive their horrific eating memories from last season as they were picked to endure the horrors of terrible prison food. DJ nearly cost his team when he sprinkled his mom's special spice to make Trent's dish delicious. However, the sight of Beth putting her retainer back into her mouth after it had been in Bridgette's made the music man puke first.

Nonetheless, the two courageous teams clawed their way to freedom!

And by clawed, I mean clawing at each other. Six feet below, the teams ran into each other. Tensions flared and the boiling point was reached when Gwen's claustrophobia caused her to freak and break the golden shovel over teammate Harold's head. Yet LeShawna pinned the blame on Duncan, resulting in the two engaging in fisticuffs! Outstanding!

And a lonely Chef made a new friend.

_(Chef - "I'm gonna ride you 'til yo' confidence coats the back of a spoon and yo' self-respect forms the peaks! No mo' mama's boy, DJ.")_

Yep, that so-called alliance between Chef and DJ is still in play. The big guy is giving DJ a buncha lame advices on how to man-up. I say it's lame because it's the reason why he almost cost his team in the eating challenge.

Long story short, the teams finished the day in a tie. One that not even our advanced technological recording devices could sever. Which means our planned elimination has to be moved up. And with the challenge we've got in mind today, I can pretty much, some what, almost guarantee some one will be driven off the lot in the Lame-o-sine tonight.

We're concerned Izzy might mess up our carefully thought-out plans. Seriously, that girl is eight shades of nutty.

Will she drive every one else crazy too?

Find out now on...

_TOTAL... DRAMA... ACTION!_

_(Cue Theme Song)_

* * *

Dusk fell upon the film lot. In a nearby tree, an owl began hooting before the electrical circuits within began to overheat and cause the head to burst off of the body. Down below, the teens gathered around the fire pit outside their trailers. They had spread themselves out into apparent groups. In one group, there was Gwen, Trent, Harold, LeShawna, Geoff, and Bridgette. In another, there was Justin, Beth, and Lindsay. Although what no one seemed to take any notice of was that Lindsay was not quite so close to the other two as one would expect her to be given their history together.

In the middle was what was considered the third group, Duncan all by his lonesome self. There were two bodies missing and it could easily be assumed that they would have been grouped with the punk if they were around. Where DJ was no one could say. As a matter of fact, it did not register to the others that he was missing. For all they knew, he was still around even if they could not sense his presence. But perhaps the primary reason that they did not realize that he was gone was that their attention was occupied by the other missing body. The fact that Izzy was not around made them all very concerned about what she was doing.

"I have met some freaky people in my day," LeShawna said. "But that girl definitely takes the cake."

"I some times wonder if she is doing all of these things for attention," Harold noted.

"I don't know," Bridgette mused. "If she was seeking attention, I'd think she'd be physically glued to the nearest camera. That way all the viewers would be forced to see nothing but her."

"I think she just finds reality boring," Gwen suggested. "That she is doing all of these crazy things because it perks her fancy."

"Sh'yeah, really," Geoff said. "Nutty dudes would steer clear of ill-tempered grizzly bears. Izz claims she played video games with one while she was on the run from the RMCP last season."

"The thing, though, is that she can be focused if she wants to," Trent stated. "Once she is committed to some thing, she goes at it with full force. Like taking her aggression out on Justin because she thinks he was responsible for getting Owen eliminated."

"What would some one as crazy as her have against some one as handsome as you?" Beth asked Justin in a dreamy tone, fawning over him at the same time. "And how dare she claim that she dated you. You would never date some one like that, right?"

"Of course not, Beth," Justin replied in a soothing voice. "Like all mentally challenged folks, she is just letting her imagination get the better of her and not let fact prevail over fiction."

"Where is Iggy, by the way?" Lindsay asked aloud. She was either the only one brave enough to ask the question or was completely oblivious to the discussions that were going on around her. The best bet would be the latter. "It's, like, after lunch she just upped and left without saying a word and all."

"Blondy, there are things in this world that are best left not knowing about," Duncan muttered. "Trying to delve into the mind of Izzy and wondering what she does when she does them is some thing we really don't wanna think about."

Almost as if on cue, a flash of smoke suddenly appeared behind Duncan. It nearly sent the punk sprawling while every one simply looked up in shock and horror. Then they heard the all too familiar sound of Izzy cackling as the smoke began to evaporate to reveal her standing in a proud position, as though she had just conquered some thing.

"Freedom!" she proclaimed, taking a deep breath and exhaling victoriously. "That sweet smell that could only be sniffed when one is no longer behind bars, caged like some wild animal."

"I figured you'd be right at home in a cell," Duncan grumbled as he picked himself off of the ground. "And we were in the challenge for only two hours. It's not like you've been incarcerated for two decades."

"I take it you speak from experience," Gwen teased. Duncan responded by rolling his eyes in annoyance.

"Every thing is so much smaller than I remembered!" Izzy stated in awe, having long ignored Duncan and continued about in her own manner. "I remember that bush!" She then pointed upward. "I remember that tree! I-" She was about to continue running about when she suddenly tripped. She then got up, pointing down toward the ground. "Oh! I remember that rock!" She giggled and started waving at it. "Hey, rock!"

Lindsay got up and yawned. "Well, night every body!" she declared, satisfied with what she believed was every thing being as normal as could be. She walked over to the girls trailer and grabbed the handle. She flung herself forward to push the door open only to find herself slamming against it and falling to the ground in shock. She wasn't the only one taken by surprise.

"You gotta be kidding me," Trent said. He got up and immediate rushed over to the boys trailer. Like Lindsay, he was having difficulty opening the door. "The doors are locked again?"

"Wait, wait, lemme try it," Izzy called. Trent stepped to one side and then watched with eyes shot wide open as Izzy dashed shoulder first at the door. Though she slammed against it with full force, it didn't open and sent her bouncing onto the ground. Seconds later, sirens began to sound. Izzy sat up and gasped in horror. "Cops!" She then tumbled into a roll and hid underneath the trailer as quickly as she could.

Moments later, the teens watched as an ambulance truck drove up to the campgrounds. It came to a stop, a gurney slid out from the back, and then the truck sped off again. They looked out in the direction the ambulance truck went for a moment before turning their attention to the gurney. Izzy even slid out from underneath the boys trailer now that she knew the cops were not around. Every one gathered around the gurney and examined it.

"Eeew, what is that?" Lindsay asked as she pointed at the various lumps and shapes that rose from underneath the sheet. She then gasped in terror. "A _dead_ body?"

"Or an _undead_ body," Duncan muttered with a nonchalant shrug.

Just then, some thing moved from upon the gurney. The sheet slipped off to reveal a body sitting up-right, surrounded by a couple dozen of books. The teens gasped, but then a few grumbled when they saw that the body was none other than their self-proclaimed handsome host, Chris McLean.

"_Boo_," Chris teased. Harold screamed and immediately jumped into LeShawna's arms. Chris chuckled as he picked up one of the books that surrounded him on the gurney. "Calm yourselves. No one's dead... yet. I'm here to prep you plucky ducks for our most awesome challenge yet. These textbooks hold the sum total of eight years of med school. And each one of you gets one, cause tomorrow... we're gonna play doctor!"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Duncan - "I hate doctors. They just get off on telling people what they don't wanna hear. Like don't pick at that scab. Or if you eat nothing but pickled eggs, you'll die. Hey, don't tell me what I can't eat! Now playing doctor... Playing doctor I can handle."

Harold - "I could be a doctor if I wanted to." /_Hand appears to apply powder on Harold's face._/ "I have plenty of hands on experience, because I've contracted nearly three-hundred known diseases." /_Hand stops powdering Harold's face and disappears in horror._/ "And I've been cured of nearly all of them. But there is no known vaccine for loving LeShawna!"

* * *

Chris hopped off the gurney and started tossing the textbooks to each of the contestants. "To win this challenge, you're gonna wanna memorize the entire contents of these textbooks," he announced. "By morning." This did not sit well the with campers.

"But it's already so late," Bridgette cried.

"You got that right!" Chris stated. Moments later, Chef Hatchet arrived driving a golf cart and parking next to the host. On top of the cart was giant cut-out of a slice of pizza. In the back of the cart were a dozen boxes of said eating delicacy. "What med school all-nighter would be complete without pizza?"

Chef exited the cart and grabbed the boxes of pizza. He then handed them over to the nearest body, which turned out to be Geoff. Geoff took a whiff and found himself pleasantly surprised. "Hey, these actually smell good, y'all," the party dude said.

"It's gotta be a trick," Gwen said, expressing a great deal of reasonable doubt.

"More like method acting," Chris said. He then jumped onto the back of the cart while Chef returned to the driving seat. "Med school interns consume eight hundred and fifty percent more pizza than the average human. So dig in! Cause there's plenty more where that came from." Chef turned the key and stepped on the gas, driving himself and the host away from the teens.

Duncan opened one of the boxes in Geoff's hands and pulled out a slice of pizza. He began to thoroughly examine it, looking to see if there was any thing seriously wrong with it. "Looks okay..." Duncan noted aloud. He then took a sniff. "Smells okay..." With a deep breath, he finally dared to take a bite. "Tastes... _incredible_!"

"How is that even possible?" LeShawna asked, watching in disbelief as some of the others began to quickly dig in.

* * *

The answer to LeShawna's question was to be found in the kitchen. It was here that DJ, whom every one else did not realize was missing, was primarily responsible for the making and cooking of their delicious meal. He tossed the dough into the air, spinning it so that it would maintain and expand its round shape.

"Keep 'em comin'!" Chef ordered. "I'll add the final _cheesy_ touch." The big man hovered over some of the pizza that had finished being cooked. He then began to sprinkle a particular ingredient onto the pizza. One that he had no intention of revealing, even to DJ. He merely grinned and continue to sprinkle the pizza.

"My team's gonna wonder where I am," DJ noted with great concern.

"As long as they eatin' they won't," Chef barked in response. "So hush up and spin that dough. Spin like the wind."

* * *

The teens separated into their respective teams. The Killer Grips managed to call dibs first on staying at the fire pit outside the trailers. But instead of sitting on the logs, they sat on beach and lawn chairs that happened to be around. They sat and read the textbooks while eating pizza. Except for Duncan, who simply ate pizza and didn't bother even looking at the textbook.

"This pie is rad!" Duncan stated after taking another bite. "Who knew Chef could rock the 'za?"

While Duncan was stuffing his face with pizza, Lindsay took notice that there was one person on the team who wasn't eating. "Are you okay, Trevor?" she asked her captain curiously.

"It's _Trent_, Lindsay," Trent pointed out. He then exhaled a deep breath, trying hard not to moan. "And no, I'm not okay. The thought of eating is bringing back the horrible aftertaste from the food in the prison challenge earlier."

"Well, no pizza for Trent means more for the rest of us," Duncan declared as he snatched the pizza box that was in front of Trent and placed it upon his lap.

"Hey, Beth?" Justin asked to the girl sitting right next to him. "Do I squint when I read?"

"Uh..." Beth uttered, blushing quickly as the male model was speaking directly to her. "I dunno! You're shirt's distracting me. Unless you..." He voice trailed off when she saw a shirt fly past her. She looked over and saw that Justin was wearing nothing from the waist up. Nothing to cover his beautiful chest. Beth flustered and suddenly knocked the textbook out of his hands. "I'll just read the book to you. Spare your beautiful eyes!" She cleared her throat and began to read while Justin merely sat back and relaxed. "'_Chapter One: Anatomy_'." The word she had just read caused her to fluster even more. "Is it getting hot in here?"

Trent and Duncan were in their respective positions of either sulking or eating when their heads were suddenly pulled back. They found themselves on either side of a suspicious and stern looking Izzy, who was darting her eyes this way and that in every direction to see if any one else was watching.

"Izzy needs your help," Izzy said in a low, determined whisper. "Justin threatens to eliminate every one on the team if we don't get to him first. He had my Owen eliminated and he will stop at nothing to get his way."

"Well, I was gonna vote for him any way," Duncan responded with a slight shrug. "But what makes you think he's gonna get the rest of us eliminated? He's pretty useless to me."

"That stupid chest of his," Izzy noted, quietly pointing at Justin. "It makes any girl who looks at it his slaves. He's already brainwashed Beth and Lindsay. We cannot allow him to get far, or else the other girls will fall under his spell."

"You seem pretty immune to his so-called powers, Izz," Trent noted.

"That's because Izzy used to date that liar and realized how evil he really is," Izzy responded. "We must band together if we have any hope of eliminating him before he gets too strong. He must be stopped right now."

"You know, we might as well dump him," Duncan said to Trent. "I mean, he's hardly the sort of team player you've been preaching about wanting, music man. Remember in the last challenge how he was far too concerned about how dirt would get into his nails if he even tried to help dig through the tunnel?"

"That is true," Trent noted, slightly looking away to remember the details. "It's just that I don't like the idea of deciding ahead of time to vote some one off before they at least had a chance to prove themselves in a challenge."

"Trent is an honest, fair leader," Izzy stated. "Izzy respects that. But be warned, oh fearless captain. Justin cannot be trusted. We must vote him out the first chance we get. If we don't, we may never get another and it will be too late to stop his chest."

"Look, crazy girl," Duncan said rather suddenly. "You and I, for reasons that defy any sense of logic and sanity, appear to be on the same page with regards to who we wanna dump next. Just don't go throwing a challenge just because you wanna get rid of him. I highly doubt that would sit well with Trent here."

"Fear not," Izzy responded. "Izzy will not throw challenge just to ensure Justin's elimination. Unlike him, Izzy is a team player. I was top of my pre-med class before the RCMP started chasing me, so this should be a snap!"

"Right..." Duncan uttered in disbelief. "So are we done here? I'd like to get back to eating some pizza."

"Oh, pizza!" Izzy said, suddenly flipping her personality on a dime. "Check this out. Owen told me about how he and his brothers would have a no hands pizza off. I bet I could beat any one at that. Watch!" To the horror of the rest of the Killer Grips, Izzy immediately sprang towards the nearest pizza box and began munching down like a dog tearing apart a steak. What made things even more terrifying was when Izzy began shaking her head while a slice of pizza was still in her mouth, causing sauce to fly every which way and splatter against any thing that was around.

"My _hair_!" Lindsay cried.

"My _pecks_!" Justin yelled.

"My _stomach_!" Trent groaned. He covered his mouth and quickly ran as far from the fire pit as possible.

Duncan took one look at Izzy then turned to the slice of pizza in his hand that he had been eating. After a moment, he dropped it onto the ground and started walking away. "Well, there goes my appetite," he said as he left.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Trent - "Ever since I promised Gwen that I wouldn't throw another challenge for her, I've felt like that I also needed to be honest and fair about the way my team competes should we ever come down to having to vote some one off. I believe that every person deserves a chance to prove themselves in each challenge. Justin hasn't exactly been doing much of any thing in past challenges, but we still owe it to him to show his commitment to the team in the next before deciding whether or not to eliminate him."

* * *

While the Killer Grips were studying back at the trailers, the Screaming Gaffers had set themselves up at the Kraft Services Tent. Like the Grips, they too were both studying the textbooks and eating pizza at the same time. While they were focused squarely on their studying, there was one thing about the pizza they were eating that caught their attention.

"Lemme ask you some thing, Bridge," Gwen began to say. "You say you're a vegan, so why are you eating a cheese pizza?"

"Oh," Bridgette uttered, looking and sounding quiet embarrassed. "I've always thought vegetarian was too long of a word to keep saying over and over. And a surfing buddy of mine then said one day that he was a vegan. He never eats meat, so I started calling myself a vegan because it's a shorter word to say. I just keep forgetting that vegans aren't just non-meat eaters."

"Well, whatever makes you happy," Gwen noted with a shrug, apparently satisfied with the answer.

"Although I have considered becoming one myself," Bridgette added after taking another bite of the pizza she had in her hand. "I don't like to eat a whole lot of food as it is. In fact, this will probably be my last slice for tonight. It's helping remove the taste from that awful food I had to eat in the prison challenge."

"I heard that vegans who really dedicate themselves to the diet obtain wicked psychic powers," Harold stated, speaking on the subject at hand. "Like that bassist from the band Clash at Demonhead, Todd Ingram." He was about to continue when he noticed that LeShawna had barely touched the pizza in front of her. "Aren't you having any, LeShawna?"

LeShawna looked up at Harold, as though she wanted to answer. She instead kept quiet and went back to studying the textbook.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

LeShawna - "I _love_ pizza. But me and dairy do not agree. And brother, you don't wanna be around for that."

* * *

"It's like you dudettes aren't all that hungry or nothing," Geoff noted aloud. This earned him a hard glare from his surfer girlfriend. He quickly threw his hands up in defense. "Not that it's a bad thing, babe. But, like, Gwen hasn't touched a slice either."

"I'm too worn out to eat after what happened to me in the last challenge," Gwen explained with a sigh. "That and I still don't trust Chef's cooking, regardless of how much you guys are enjoying it."

"You know who else hasn't had a slice yet?" Harold asked curiously after having a good look around. "DJ." For the first time all night, the Gaffers started to realize that perhaps DJ was not around as they had first thought.

"Where _is_ DJ?" Bridgette asked curiously.

As the question was being asked, DJ managed to slip out of the kitchen and seat himself within the group without any one noticing. When they finally spotted him, he tried to look as though he was offended at the thought that he had some how been forgotten about. An act Chef had taught him to do if the situation ever called for it.

"What do you mean, '_Where is DJ_'?" DJ stated, trying to sound hurt. "I've been here the whole time, obviously. Now hand me some pie." None the wiser, Geoff tossed DJ a slice of the pizza. DJ started eating and looked very pleased with himself at how the pizza he made tasted. "Man, I _am_ good."

"You know, Gwen," Bridgette started to say as she sat herself next to her friend. "There really isn't any need for you to stick around. You're obviously tired from today, you're not hungry for this pizza. You might as well call it a night."

Gwen raised a brow in confusion over the offer. "You're letting me off the hook?" she asked.

"You have done more than enough for us these past few challenges," Harold noted. "And this is all in-spite of you having immunity for an indefinite amount of time. You deserve a break."

"Let us have a chance to win it or lose it for us, dudette," Geoff declared. "You've already set the example for us to follow."

Gwen took a good look at her teammates. They looked back at her with comforting smiles and reassuring looks. After a moment, she sighed and got up from the table. "Thanks guys," she said reluctantly, forming a smile of her own. "Guess I just needed to hear that I'm being useful regardless of my safe from elimination."

"You've earned it, girl," LeShawna said. After watching the goth girl finally take off, LeShawna yawned and went back to the textbook. "I could use some sleep myself right about now."

"How about you go ahead and get some sleep, LeShawna," Harold suggested. "I can study for the both of us and get you up to speed so that you won't be so far behind."

"You really want me too?" LeShawna asked curiously.

"You are pretty tired yourself from fighting with Duncan earlier," Harold noted. "Besides, you're not going to eat the pizza. So what is the point of staying up if you are not going to have any thing that will keep you awake. Don't worry, I got your back."

LeShawna took a good look at Harold and then smiled. "Why thank you, sug'a," she said, planting a kiss on his temple that caused him to fluster lovingly. She then got up and walked off toward the trailers.

Once he had regained his composure, Harold looked up at the others. "I hope you don't mind that I did that for LeShawna," he said. "I just figured her trying to study when she was not up for it would be detrimental to us."

"Hey, no probs, bra," Geoff said with a shrug. "You gotta take care of your girl. Just like I take care of mine." He wrapped a free arm around Bridgette's shoulder, causing her to giggle.

"You flirt," she said to Geoff. Then she turned to Harold. "But I don't mind either. If it will help get your guys' relationship going, then I have no problem with it. Besides, there's some really smart people around this table and I bet the four of us can out-study virtually every one on the Grips."

"Yeah, team work," DJ proclaimed, injecting himself rather suddenly into the conversation. "We got each other's backs, there ain't no way we can lose." And with that, the remaining members of the Screaming Gaffers resumed their studying of the textbooks.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

LeShawna - "That was really nice of Harold to let me bail for the night. Besides, he was right. I was pretty tired as a result of havin' to keep that freak show of a punk from continuin' to disrespect my man."

Duncan - "It's like LeShawna is more of bodyguard to Harold than she is his girlfriend. Any time I even try to make a joke about him, she's right up in my face. I'm getting sick of having to deal with her ruining any chance I might have of cheering myself up at the dork's expense. If she wants to throw down with me over some thing a trivial as joke, I'll be more than happy to oblige."

* * *

Instead of going straight to the trailers to turn in for the night, Gwen decided to go to the place that had turned into the one spot where she could go to feel at peace. The low cliff that had the nice view of the whole film lot. Once she arrived, she noticed that she was not alone. And it brought a smile to her face.

"Figured you'd be here tonight, handsome," Gwen said as she gently sat down next to her boyfriend.

"Figured you'd come looking for me, beautiful," Trent said in return, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"How's your stomach?" Gwen teased, poking said body part.

"Don't ask," Trent replied with a chuckle, having flinched only slightly at being poked. "How are you feeling?"

"I just needed to get away from being in a crowd, even though I didn't want to," Gwen answered with a sigh.

"Because you wanted to prove yourself as a team leader, huh?" Trent questioned further with a raised brow.

"They talked me into leaving so that I wouldn't feel too guilty," Gwen replied. She snuggled up so that she would be closer to him.

"Well, then how about just for once we enjoy a moment of relaxing luxury knowing that we won't get eliminated?" Trent suggested.

Gwen looked up at him with a stern brow raised, although her lips curled into a half smirk. "We really shouldn't for their sake," Gwen stated. There was firm tone in her voice, but there was hardly any force behind it.

"Fortunately, I brought a copy of the textbook just in case," Trent said, holding up a copy of the book with his free hand. The reveal caused the both of them to laugh softly for a moment.

"I am really tired, though," Gwen said with another sigh.

"And reading might make me nauseous," Trent noted.

Gwen snuggled some more up to Trent and looked out at the sky. "Let's just watch the stars tonight," she suggested.

"As you wish," Trent responded with a light chuckle. He kissed her on her forehead and then joined her in looking out at the sky.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Gwen - /_Gives out a loving sigh._/ "As I'm sure you're all aware by now, I hate this show with a passion. But I will say this. When I'm finally allowed to go home, I'm gonna thank my brother for daring me to sign up. I've made some great friends through this hell-hole. And most importantly, I've met Trent. My mom has always feared that I'd go the rest of my life single, and I was probably thinking the same. That may change if Trent and I continue our relationship the way it is. All because of my brother."

Chris - /_Sarcastic._/ "Oh, sure. Thank your brother. Not the people who were actually responsible in creating this wonderful show in the first place. Not the people who developed the situations that would lead you to having friends. Not the people who in the end were responsible for introducing you to your music man in the first place. But thank your brother because of a dare."

* * *

The next morning, the teens gathered at the assigned studio where their challenge would take place. The vast majority of them were tired and exhausted, having stayed up virtually the entire night studying. The only ones who did not feel the same way were Gwen, Trent, Duncan, and LeShawna, all four having bailed at some point and gotten some sleep. Gwen, Trent, and LeShawna felt a little guilty as they watched some of the others complain about the condition they were in.

"So tired..." Harold managed to utter through a sleepy voice.

"Owwie!" Lindsay whined, holding her head. "My brain is full!"

Unlike Gwen, Trent, and LeShawna, Duncan saw no problem expressing how refreshed he felt compared to every one else. "Nothing like a good night's sleep, huh Music Man?" the punk said, nudging Trent. Trent merely rolled his eyes in response while those who were tired groaned with annoyance.

"Morning, competitors!" Chris announced as he slid through one of the swinging double doors that lead deeper into the studio. "Or should I say... doctors!" To every one's shock, he pulled out what appeared to be a bazooka and began firing. What came out turned out to be doctor headbands and stethoscopes for each contestant. Lindsay found herself knocked to the ground after her headband connected against her head. "Ready for today's big challenge?"

"Some of us are more ready than others," Beth answered. Though she was glaring at Duncan, it sounded as though she was making her statement to the Screaming Gaffers.

"Not against our mad studying skillz," Harold responded in return. This lead to the tired and exhausted members of both teams to stare off at one another. Gwen, Trent, LeShawna, and Duncan merely watched in slight amusement.

"Ooo, tension," Chris noted with a chuckle. "My favorite! Let's take it inside." Walking backwards, the handsome host led the teens through the double doors to start their challenge.

* * *

Inside, the contestants split up into their teams. Screaming Gaffers to the left and Killer Grips to the right. The studio looked very much like an operating theater. Key differences included two large containers, each positions next to ladders that led up to platforms that were over the containers. There were also two platforms that look as though each could be raised to the ceiling through a long length of chain. Just before reaching the ceiling, they could see that there were two electrical currents.

"Today's elimination challenge is called '_Visiting Hours_'," Chris announced. "To ensure we get a winner this time around, we're adding on a special reward. Only one member of the winning team will get to enjoy the reward." The teens began to murmur to themselves about the idea of a reward being worth whatever trouble they were about to get themselves into.

"Well, a challenge is a challenge," Geoff said aloud with a shrug. "It's one for all and all for one."

"Yeah, but if we win, who gets to be the _one_?" Beth questioned curiously.

"The person who most directly contributes to the win," Justin answered.

"So if we win, it obviously won't be you," Duncan stated. The male model glared at the punk, which only made Duncan laugh.

"Chris, you haven't told us what the reward is yet," Harold pointed out.

"You're very perceptive, Harold," Chris noted. Unfortunately for Harold, the handsome host completely ignored the question and continued in his desired direction. "Let's see if that'll help you and your team assemble... a cadaver!"

"You mean, like, a _dead_ body?" Lindsay gasped in horror.

"No," Chris replied then laughed. "I mean, like, a _giant_ dead body! These kegs contain the dismembered parts of two identical cadavers. Each player will climb their respective team ladder, strap on the bungee-cord, and jump into the tank with hopes of retrieving a body part. Any parts you find will be snapped in place on the platforms. Use those chains to raise them all the way to the roof, where they'll be reanimated by a blast of lightning! First team to bring a FrankenChris to life wins. First crack goes to the team who can tell me how to treat some one with a bean stuck up their nose."

"Oh, oh!" Beth cried, raising her hand up so that Chris could see she wanted to answer. "Administer two cc of pain meds and probe the infected area with a sterile swab."

"Correct-o-mundo!" Chris declared.

"Yes!" Beth cheered, pumping a fist in victory.

* * *

Strapped into the bungee-cord, Beth dove off of the platform and into the container. When she came up out of the liquid, she had some thing in her hands. But it was not a dismembered body part. The every one's shock, she had pulled up an electric eel and it immediately shocked her. Having quickly dropped the eel back into the container, Beth waited until the bungee-cord pulled her up high enough so that she could grab onto the platform.

"What the heck was that?" Beth cried.

"Oh yeah," Chris said in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. "I forgot to mention the electric eels. Three zaps and you're out." None of the teens were very happy about hearing this last minute detail.

With the groan and a deep breath, Beth jumped back down into the container. This time she emerged form the liquid with a dismembered body part in hand, specifically the right leg and foot. "Got it!" she called out before tossing it over to her team. It was decided that since they did not study, Trent and Duncan would catch the body parts and place them onto the platform. The Screaming Gaffers decided upon the same set-up with Gwen and LeShawna.

"Okay, next question," Chris announced. "Your patient has an itchy red inflammation on their butt. Diagnosis?"

"Diaper rash," Bridgette answered quickly. "Apply salve repeatedly achieve humectant dispersion."

"Yes!" Chris declared.

"Alright, babe!" Geoff cheered.

* * *

Once she was strapped to the bungee-cord, Bridgette took a deep breath and dove into the container. When she emerged from the liquid, she found herself clutching an electric eel that immediate zapped her. "Oww!" Bridgette cried, dropping the eel back into the container. She continued to speak as she dropped back down into the liquid. "I can't tell the difference..." She stopped when she was submerged. Upon emerging, she found herself clutching another eel that zapped her. She groaned and dropped the eel before continuing her sentence. "... in that liquid, Chris!" She submerged once more and this time finally emerged with a dismembered body part in hand. "Yes!" she cheered before throwing it to her team.

"Got it, got it!" Gwen called before catching what appeared to be a right arm minus the hand and placing it on the platform.

"Next question," Chris announced. "Your patient's got a white tongue, red eyes, and they're oozing gooey crud. Diagnosis?"

"Oh, oh, I know this!" Lindsay called, raising her hand in the air. "Pinkus-Eyeakus! Treat with two rounds of flopperty gibbits!"

"Absolutely correct!" Chris declared. He then chuckled and leaned toward the camera, speaking to it quietly so that the teens could not hear him. "I messed around with some of the terms in the textbook."

* * *

Lindsay gingerly tip-toed to the edge of the platform before finally jumping off, screaming as she dropped down toward the container. She emerged not with an electric eel, but with a body part in hand. "I did it!" she cried. "And it was on the first try!" She threw the body part toward her team.

"Don't let it touch my hair!" Justin cried as the body part sailed over his head.

"Dude, you really are such a girl," Duncan commented as he grabbed the part. It was the left leg and he placed it proper on the platform, while giving a look to Trent as if to tell him about the way Justin acted.

"So how do I get out of this?" Lindsay asked as she tried to remove the strap that attached her to the bungee-cord. Unfortunately, she did this while she was still hanging over the container. Upon successfully freeing herself from the strap, Lindsay realized her error and screamed as she dropped into the container. She was shocked a few times before she managed to escape out of the liquid and onto the floor. She whined and complained about her sudden bad luck. "Aww, come on!"

"Smells like ear wax?" Chris asked the teens.

"Pineapple-Itus," DJ answered. For answering the question correctly, he was able to give a high-five clap to Chris.

* * *

DJ held his nostrils closed before he jumped into the container to retrieve a dismembered body part. Unfortunately, he emerged out of the liquid having three electric eels wrapped around him. They zapped him without mercy.

* * *

"Perb between the toes?" Chris asked.

"Stick two horse feathers up the whiz bang!" Beth answered rather enthusiastically.

* * *

Beth dropped into the liquid and emerged with a dismembered waist.

* * *

LeShawna placed the left leg onto the platform. It was the fourth piece the Screaming Gaffers had succeeded in grabbing along with the right arm, right hand, and the right leg.

* * *

Trent leaned over to place the next body part in place on the platform. The Killer Grips had managed to pick up the upper torso, left arm, left hand, waist, and both legs.

* * *

Gwen placed the wait down onto the platform.

* * *

"Wacka-wacka-two-by-four!" Izzy answered excitedly and successfully.

* * *

Geoff placed the stethoscope upon Chris' chest and listened carefully. "Sissy-Pants McGee!" the party dude declared. Chris looked rather taken aback, raising a brow in bewilderment when he heard the diagnosis.

* * *

Duncan was allowed to take a shot at answering a question and managed to get it right. When he jumped off the platform, he descended with a bat and began whacking away at any electric eel that came right at him.

* * *

Harold jumped into the container in an attempt to retrieve a body part. He emerged the first time getting shocked by one electric eel. He emerged the second time getting shocked by another electric eel. He emerged the third time getting shocked by two electric eels. But he did managed to hang onto a dismembered head, thereby achieving success. Once the jolt of electricity stopped coursing through his body, he tossed the head over to his team.

Gwen sat upon DJ's shoulders so that when she caught the head she could place it in the proper place on the platform. She looked proudly at what the Screaming Gaffers had accomplished thus far. They had the head, the upper torso, the right arm, the right hand, the waist, and both legs. All they needed was the left arm and left hand.

"The Gaffers ahead by... a _head_!" Chris announced. The Killer Grips were indeed behind by a body part. They had the upper torso, the left arm, the left hand, the waist, and both legs.

* * *

Lindsay dropped into the liquid. She then emerged with a dismembered body part in hand. With an excited smile, she tossed it over to her team. Duncan was the one to catch it and placed it upon the platform. They now had the right hand of their cadaver. The punk then looked over to see that Justin stood in place, taking a good look at all that surrounded him. The male model had done absolutely nothing in the challenge at that point. Annoyed, Duncan picked up a wet towel, twirled it a few times, and then whipped one end rather suddenly at Justin's behind.

"Aaahh!" Justin cried, immediately covering his butt. He looked over and instantly knew who the culprit was. "You could've caused whiplash and I haven't had my butt insured yet!"

"Then you shouldn't have come on this show, pal," Duncan responded with a snort. "Getting down and dirty is the name of the game and Chris wants every one of us to came out looking like these cadavers. I mean, you haven't done squat this entire challenge since it started. All because you don't wanna mess up your hair."

"Who knows what kind of chemicals they use in that liquid that could permanently damage each strand on my head," Justin tried to reason in his defense. "It took years to fine tune my hair and I am not about to risk losing them all as a result of the liquid causing me to possibly go bald by some horrible reaction."

"Izzy wants to see!" Izzy cried. She suddenly jumped onto Justin's shoulders, a small puddle of the container liquid cupped in both hands. She started to cackle as she was about to bring it over the male model's head.

"Help!" Justin cried. He cocked his head this way and that in an effort to avoid getting even a single drop of the liquid to splash down upon his hair. "Get her off, get her off!"

"Stand still so I may cause your hair to magically disappear!" Izzy roared. She then felt some thing pulling on her leg. She looked down and saw that Beth was trying to pull her off of Justin. "Don't let mind-control get the best of you, Beth! It's preventing you from allowing us to do what must be done!"

"You are completely insane, Izzy!" Beth proclaimed as she continued to pull the other's leg with all of her strength. "Leave Justin alone! He's done absolutely nothing to deserve any of your craziness!"

"And therein lies the problem, Beth," Duncan declared. "He's done absolutely nothing. He just stands there and makes every one else do all the work. That's hardly the act of a team-player."

"Guys, _knock it off_!" Trent yelled. At his command, the rest of the Killer Grips froze in place and looked over to him with eyes shot wide open. "We don't have time for this! We're running behind and in a matter of seconds they're about to have all their parts!" Every one paused for a moment before finally getting a move on, following the orders of their leader.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Justin - /_Pretends to weep._/ "I felt like I was about to be violated. That crazy girl has no right to act that way towards me. Believing herself to think that we could have ever dated. How dare her?"

Izzy - "Unlike a certain liar, I am willing to do what needs to be done of the sake of the team. Some thing a certain liar would know nothing about, seeing as he only ever cares about himself and that stupid chest of his. When our fearless leader Trent wants us to stop fighting, I stop fighting. But when the challenge is done, oh boy, Justin is so gonna get it."

* * *

DJ emerged from his team's container and held the left arm. The last piece the Gaffers needed to complete their cadaver. "Yes!" DJ cheered as he tossed the body part to his team. "Last piece comin' yer way!" LeShawna caught the piece and placed it proper on the platform, successfully assembling a giant FrankenChris.

"The Gaffers have their cadaver!" Chris announced. "Time to start yanking some chain. And be quick about it, because the Grips are right behind you." Not wasting any time, DJ and Geoff immediately began pulling on the chain that would lift the platform holding their cadaver up to the ceiling.

"I got it, I got it!" Izzy cried as she emerged from her team's container. In her hands was the last piece they needed to complete their cadaver, the head. She tossed it over and it was caught by an awaiting Duncan. The punk placed the piece in its proper place and then Trent, Lindsay, and Beth began pulling on the chain that would lift their platform to the ceiling.

"Heave!" Beth began to chant with each tug they made. "Ho! Heave!"

"The Grips are still in this," Chris commented with a chuckle. "Whose cadaver will hit the roof first?"

"Ah!" Izzy squealed with excitement, hopping up and down in place. "It's so exciting, I can't take it!" To keep herself from really letting loose, she needed to chomp down on some thing. And the closest thing she decided to sink her teeth into was the left arm of a certain male model. Some thing she had absolutely no problem tearing into.

"Oww!" Justin cried upon feeling Izzy's teeth violently bite into his flesh. "What the hell, Izzy?"

"How dare you bite Justin!" Beth cried. She released her hold on the chain and immediately ran over to them. Unfortunately, this caused Trent and Lindsay and find themselves having to pull down extra weight. It was too much for them to maintain their hold and were forced to let go, causing the platform to crash onto the floor.

"Well that's just peachy, Beth!" Duncan yelled in frustration. "Just cost us the challenge because Justin got bit why don't you!"

"Can't you see that he's been injured!" Beth attempted to reason. She began to examine Justin's arm, but then gasped suddenly when she spotted some thing. "Oh no! Justin, you have an icky sore!" This caught the attention of the rest of the Killer Grips.

"Cool, he's also burning up," Izzy noted when she instinctively felt the male model's forehead.

Seconds later, Justin suddenly let out a burp. And a mighty burp it was, causing a gust of his breath blowing into Izzy's face. He quickly covered his mouth, as though he was trying to hide the fact that it ever happened even though every one had seen. "Oh my God, I just burped!" he gasped in horror.

"Huh, guess he's not such a girly-man after all," Duncan commented with a grunt. "Not after a burp like that."

"Only it has a lemony scent," Izzy noted after taking a sniff. She then began to gag with disgust and glared at Justin, waving a finger at him. "A real man wouldn't have a lemony scent to their burp."

"Hold on," Bridgette called in a worried manner, causing the Screaming Gaffers to stop pulling on their chain. "Red sores, fever, lemony burps. Aren't those symptoms of one of the diseases in the book?" This caused DJ and Geoff to immediately let go of the chain, causing their platform to also crash down onto the floor.

"Page seven hundred and fifty-three," Beth began to answer frantically. "Mortatistical Crumples Disease." She then gasped in terror. "And it's _fatal_!" The rest of the teens in the room gasped upon hearing the last sentence.

"Dudes, Mortatistical Crumples isn't just fatal," Geoff added, his eyes shooting wide open in horror. "It's highly _contagious_!"

"Okay, looks like it's quarantine time," Chris announced as he slowly backed away toward the double doors. "See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!" He quickly ran through the doors and immediately began locking it shut from the outside. Using every thing from wooden boards to chains to cement, he made sure there was no opening for even the slightest sent of air to escape. He then turned to the camera and chuckled. "There's more to the disease than either team knows."

* * *

"Seriously weird," Gwen commented aloud after the teens had had time to calm down long enough to begin assessing their predicament. "Justin some how gets infected with a fatal disease?"

"I'm sure it's just a twenty-four hour kind of fatal..." Justin attempted to say before realizing how futile it was to speak any more.

"No!" Beth cried, tears nearly streaming out of her eyes. She then took Justin's wrist and began squeezing it. "Some one has handsome as Justin can't be a dead man! I'll find a cure, I swear!"

"Quarantine Justin!" Harold announced. "Stat!"

Even before Harold had spoken, Geoff was already blowing up a bio-hazard containment bubble until it reached its full capacity. "Get him inside before he kills us all!" the party dude called.

Before he knew it, Justin found himself being hoisted into the air by Trent, Duncan, and LeShawna. They rushed him over to the bubble and threw him in. Once he was inside, they sealed it tight so that nothing could escape. Suddenly, they heard some one screaming. They turned to see Bridgette pointing at DJ in horror.

"I see another sore," Bridgette cried. "On DJ!"

DJ looked down onto his arm to see that there was indeed a red spot present upon his skin. In a panic, he began waving it rapidly in the hopes that it was a sticker. "It's gotta be some kinda mistake!" he cried. Seconds later, he was hoisted into the air by Gwen, Harold, and Izzy while Beth quickly began to blow up another bio-hazard containment bubble.

"This can't be happening to me!" Justin screamed frantically. He began banging on the bubble with all of his might in an effort to get out. "The modeling agency won't accept this! Where's the exit door on these things?"

"There isn't one!" Beth replied. She had finished blowing up the bubble so that DJ could be thrown in. Once he was inside, DJ started to really panic as his teeth her chattering.

"Are you kidding me?" Justin complained. He then looked over at DJ and began to worry. He pointed at him so that the others could see. "Um... I think DJ's getting claustrophobic!"

"Is that another symptom?" Lindsay asked curiously.

"_Mama_!" DJ cried at the top of his lungs. "Lemme outta this crazy thing!" He began screaming and running, causing his bubble to roll in whatever direction he ran toward. Every one jumped out of the way as he began bumping into any and every surface he encountered, possibly in some attempt to burst the bubble.

"Great," Duncan grumbled in frustration. "Now DJ is not only infectious, he's a deranged pinball of death."

"We need to confirm no one else is infected," Harold stated. He then scratched his head as he tried to remember how to diagnose the situation. "Symptoms of Mortatistical Crumples Disease include explosive diarrhea..."

Upon hearing her stomach grumble, Lindsay moaned and immediately ran into the porta potty that just happened to be in the corner of the room. "Oh no!" she cried once she was inside.

"... Itchy lips..." Harold said, continuing to list the symptoms.

"My lips!" Geoff cried. He desperately tried to avoid scratching or rubbing his bottom lip, but it simply did not matter. It quickly began to swell to his and every one else's horror. "They're on fire!"

"... Sudden hot flashes..." Harold kept going in listing the symptoms. Bridgette found herself pulling at the collar of her hoodie and fanning her face, but she was sweating so profusely that a puddle was already forming at her feet. "... seasickness..." Beth's face turned green as she bent down to one side and vomited uncontrollably. "... speaking in tongues..." At first, the others were not sure if Izzy was merely being herself or was indeed displaying the noted symptom. After all, they would not put it past her to just talk in gibberish and have her eyes rolling up and down looking like a slot machine. However, their predicament required that they not take a chance. "... and temporary blindness. Any one?" The others noticed that Harold was trying to see if any one was displaying the symptoms he had listed. What worried them was that he looked as though he could not tell. "Any one? Wow, that's a relief." Harold turned and was about to walk, only to run into Izzy and not know it. "_I'm blind_!"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

LeShawna - "I know it's meant to be dangerous and all, but it's still a TV show. No way they'd actually let some body up and die in here. Am I right?"

* * *

Chris leaned back in his chair, sitting comfortably in the control room with a wicked grin on his face. "You'd think we wouldn't," Chris said to the camera with a chuckle. "But... just imagine the _ratings_!"

* * *

After some time, Gwen, Trent, LeShawna, and Duncan managed to strap down nearly all of the other competitors to a gurney while Justin and DJ remained in their bio-hazard containment bubbles. They looked around and began to worry, heavily concerned about the situation they had found themselves in and how they were going to try to get out of it.

"I'm burning up!" Harold cried, an arm draped over his forehead.

"Want us to take your temperature with this thermometer?" Duncan asked. However, there was a slight chuckle to the sound of his voice. As the thermometer got close to his face, Harold took a sniff and immediately recognized just what kind of thermometer the punk was about to stick into his mouth.

"Is that a _rectal_ thermometer?" Harold asked in frustration, knocking the other's hand out of the way. "You're the sick one!" Suddenly, the two began to struggle and Duncan attempted to stick the thermometer into Harold's mouth. It stopped the second the punk felt himself being pulled by the collar and forced to face Harold's angry girlfriend.

"What did I tell you about messin' with my man?" LeShawna huffed in anger. "Even when we're in a dire situation you can't bother to leave him be?" With one swift move, she sent Duncan sailing across the room. She then turned her attention to Harold. "Here baby, have a sip of water." She gently tilted a cup over Harold's lips so that he could sip the water. Seconds later, he coughed, causing some of the water he had sipped to be spit out into LeShawna's face. "This is nuts! We gotta do some thing!"

"Hang on a second," Trent said, taking another good look at the situation at hand. "Geoff said this disease was highly contagious. But the four of us aren't any sicker than we were this morning. Physically sicker, that is." Gwen, LeShawna, and Duncan thought about this for a moment and realized Trent might be on to some thing.

"That's right," LeShawna stated. "We should've been droppin' like the others earlier."

"It's too much of a coincidence that neither Trent or I are sick and we skipped out on the studying last night," Gwen proclaimed as the four of them gathered together in a huddle. "You skipped out too, LeShawna."

"And I bailed as soon as Izzy started going nuts on the pizza," Duncan noted rather proudly.

"I'm startin' to seriously question this Mort-o-Testy-My-Patience junk," LeShawna declared. "We need get our hands on one of those textbooks. There's gotta be some thin' these guys missed."

"Good idea," Duncan said. He then pointed at the double doors. "Except Chris sealed off the only exit."

"Not the only exit," Trent said. When the other three looked at him with curious brows raised, he pointed up to the ceiling. The looked to see that there were indeed openings from where the platforms could be raised up to. And the openings looked to be wide enough for each of them to crawl through.

* * *

Once outside, the four of them climbed down a nearby ladder until the made it to the ground. They took a second to let in the fact that they were breathing fresh air before continuing with their primary mission.

"You guys grab a textbook," Gwen said to Trent and Duncan. "We're gonna go look in the kitchen." And with that, Trent and Duncan went one direction while Gwen and LeShawna went another.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Trent - "It was strange how the partnering up came about, now that I've given some thought to it. We were completely absent minded of the fact that not only were the girls made one pair and the guys made the other, but we were also grouped into our own respective teams. Even though we were rushing to figure out what was going on, I guess we were still in competition with one another. Funny how those kind of things happen."

LeShawna - "I take a practical approach to life and to this game. Namely if some one is too nice to you, there has got to be a reason. And you just know it ain't gonna be pretty."

* * *

Inside, the other campers were not dealing with their predicament all that well. To say that they were far from calm would be an understatement. They were falling apart by the seams and it appeared highly doubtful that they would get a hold of themselves.

"_Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee_!" DJ whimpered. He continued to run about in his bubble, but did so more gingerly given his added need to relieve himself in a less embarrassing fashion as possible.

"My lips!" Geoff cried. The swelling of his bottom lip seemingly getting bigger. "My lips!"

"Maybe they'd feel better if I pressed mine against them," Bridgette managed to say in a quiet-like voice, sitting up in her gurney and trying her best to reach over to Geoff. "Just one more time before we die, Schmoopy-Boo."

"To my mother," Justin began to say. He was making out his will. Unfortunately, he was stuck in the bio-hazard containment bubble and therefore had to get some one else to write it out for him. Beth volunteered to perform the deed. "Please ensure that all of my internal organs are maintained in a frozen state for all of eternity." He would pause every now and then as Beth had to throw up in a nearby bucket. "To the Glutius Maximus Modeling agency... You have my utmost permission to use my body and transform it into a golden statue so that it may be proudly displayed for all to see forever."

Moments later, the double doors burst wide open. A determined looking foursome of Gwen, Trent, LeShawna, and Duncan appeared with various objects in hand. But first, they took a minute to examine the condition of the others.

"Mother?" Harold questioned, sounding as though he was taking his last breath. "Is that you?"

"Relax, every one," Duncan proclaimed. "As some one who has extensive experience with forgery, trust me. This textbook and every thing in it is a total crock!" He raised up a copy of the textbook that had been used the night before for studying. He then ripped off the covers rather easily and displayed its treachery. "The book covers are just old cereal boxes." This caught the others completely by surprise. He was about to continue when his stomach suddenly started to growl. "Uh oh." With a moan, the punk made a mad dash to the porta potty and slammed the door shut as quickly as possible. "Mother of mercy!"

"It can't be a crock," Beth began to say in argument. "No one's faking being sick."

"No," Gwen said is a slight agreement. "But it's still a hoax. LeShawna and I just went to Chef's kitchen where we found this cheese." She lifted up a small spice container with the picture of a cheese on the label.

"Uh, gee!" DJ began to say. He attempted to act as utterly surprised as the others regarding the suddenly revelation on display. His need to go to the bathroom helped to make him look convincing. "What's in that canister I've never seen before? Parmesan?"

"No," LeShawna replied. She peeled off the label to reveal what it truly was. "Itching powder and laxatives." This caused the others to gasp in horror over what they had eaten the night before.

"Chef?" DJ questioned, continuing to sound shocked. His need to go to the bathroom intensifying. "How could he?"

"That explains the diarrhea and itchy lips," Trent explained. As he did so, Duncan exited the porta potty with a heavy exhale. Any one who watched him would have noticed the amount of oder gushing out. "Gwen, LeShawna, and I were the only ones who didn't get sick because we didn't eat the pizza." The evidence was starting to make sense to the others.

"But wait," Bridgette noted, raising her hand. "What about the sores on Justin and DJ?"

LeShawna walked over to DJ and popped his bio-hazard containment bubble with a needle. She then reached over and peeled off what was previously thought to have been a red sore. "It's just a slice of pepperoni," LeShawna proclaimed. She then gave DJ a firm glare. "Broth'a needs to shower!"

"First, broth'a needs to _pee_!" DJ cried. He made a mad dash into the porta potty, spinning Duncan out of his way and onto the ground as he went before slamming the door behind him.

Justin gingerly peeled off the slice of pepperoni on his skin and then dropped it. Knowing now what had been coated on the pizza, he dropped the pepperoni and tried to back away. LeShawna finally popped his bubble so that he could get further away from the meat slice. The others slowly began to sit up and calm themselves as they understood how badly they had been fooled.

"But what about the other symptoms?" Beth asked curiously. "Blindness, speaking in tongues."

"First year med school syndrome," Gwen answered with a shrug. "Too much studying and too little sleep can make you think you've got every disease in the book."

Upon hearing this, Harold opened his eyes and focused. "I can see!" he declared with excitement. "I can see!"

"Congratulations, _Screaming Gaffers_!" Chris announced suddenly. Every one looked up to see him descending into the room one a chain link. "You just won the challenge!" The Screaming Gaffers were shocked and surprised. But they managed to cheer in victory any way. The Killer Grips looked on is bewilderment and disbelief.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Duncan yelled in frustration. "How come they get the win?"

"We're not gonna have another tie since we already had one last challenge," Chris began to answer, crossing his arms over his chest. "Besides, Gwen named the correct diagnosis. Therefore, her team wins. And for their reward..." He paused and then started to scratch his head. "Knew I forgot some thing. Just a sec." The chain was pulled up and he ascended back to the ceiling, leaving the teens alone for a moment.

"Well played, Gwen," Trent teased with a chuckle. "You won this challenge, but you can bet I'll take the next."

"I'd like to see you try, Trent," Gwen teased in return, nudging him slightly in the arm.

As DJ finally exit the porta potty in satisfaction, Trent found himself being pulled to one side by Izzy. Duncan had been pulled aside with them to as Izzy looked on at the male model, who was being attended to by Beth, with a suspicious look on her face.

"We have failed in the challenge, but we still have a chance at victory," Izzy proclaimed in a whisper. "Now is the perfect chance to eliminate Justin and restore peace within the team."

"Is pulling aside to tell us this really necessary, crazy girl?" Duncan asked with a raised brow. "Like I said, I was gonna vote for him any way. And, as expected, he did absolutely nothing in the challenge. What's the point in having him around?"

Trent seemed rather reluctant as he sighed. "Well... you are right about that," he admitted.

"Then it is settled!" Izzy declared in a whisper. "Tonight, the evil one shall fall!" She then slipped away, leaving Trent and Duncan to look at one another with raised brows.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Duncan - "As wacky as Izzy may be, she tends to make sense a lotta times. We all have our ideas as to why Izzy is the way she is. Personally, I just leave it as is. Izzy is Izzy. There is no real need to break it down and try to figure out what makes her tick. Because frankly, I think the knowledge would be more haunt people for the rest of their lives and beyond."

* * *

"Ugh, I need to shower badly," Bridgette said as she took a good look at herself. She had drenched every inch of her clothes in sweat. "This is one of those few times I really hate being wet."

"Say, have you dudes notice some thing odd lately?" Geoff asked curiously. The rest of the Screaming Gaffers looked at him with interested looks. "Like, Trent's dish in the prison challenge was apparently tasty even though it was disgusting looking and the pizza we had last night was gnarly even though it caused us to get sick and stuff."

"What could that possibly mean?" DJ asked. He tried to sound as curious as Geoff was, hoping to paint himself as being in the dark along with the rest of them as opposed to knowing the full truth behind his friend's concern.

"There's absolutely no way Chef could ever be a good cook," Gwen pointed out. "If he could make some thing as simple as a bowl of cereal taste like the nail from a pig's foot, his culinary skills will never improve. I get the feeling he's got some thing to make his food delicious." The team was about to put some thought into the subject until they saw Chris return. Once again, he descended from the ceiling. This time, he had a covered plate in hand.

"As I was saying," Chris began to announce as he walked over to the Screaming Gaffers. "For your reward..." He then lifted up the cover, revealing six framed photographs on the plate. Photographs of familiar faces to each member of the Gaffers.

"That's my mama!" DJ cried with joy.

"Oh, and that's my best cousin!" LeShawna squealed.

"Yep," Chris said with a chuckle. "One of you gets a whole spa night away from this cruddy studio lot with your very best friend. So... who's the lucky stiff?" Almost immediately, each member of the Gaffers announced that they wanted the prize. Some of them even began listing off the reasons why they deserved it.

"Guys, listen for a sec," Gwen called, pulling them all into a huddle. They began whispering among themselves while the handsome host waited, tapping his right foot on the ground impatiently. The team then apparently came to an agreement as they faced with with grins on each of their faces. "Chris, we would like to propose an idea."

"If you're thinking of talking your way into letting the entire team book it to the spa, forget it," Chris stated firmly. "We're about to fork a lotta bucks to bring in your one friend. Besides, the spa only has two openings."

"That's exactly it," Gwen said, pointing a finger at him. "Even though you don't deserve it, we're offering to save your slimy butt from spending the trouble and expense of flying in a guest. Just send two of us to the spa."

"Hmmm..." Chris uttered, tapping his chin with his free hand. "I suspect I know which two you guys wanna send. Tell you what. I'll make this happen on one condition. Beginning next challenge, Gwen and Trent are no longer immune from elimination. Deal?"

Gwen looked over at Trent. The music man, who overheard the whole thing, simply smiled and nodded his approval. "I believe that's a fair trade," the goth girl declared.

"Alrighty then," Chris said with a slight shrug. "So... who're the two lucky stiffs? _CoughTrentandGwencough_."

"Harold and LeShawna," DJ announced, pushing the two toward the host. Chris was taken aback with the pair picked by the Gaffers. It turned out that he was not the only one.

"What?" Duncan questioned in disbelief. "Gwen and Trent are giving up their immunity for them?" Gwen and Trent merely nodded to confirm and approve their decision.

"It's a great place to get their relationship started on the right foot," Bridgette further explained with a huge smile.

"Aww, you guys," LeShawna said shyly, beginning to blush slightly.

"I'm so excited, I can hardly contain myself," Harold flustered with joy.

"Yeesh," Chris uttered. He then turned toward the double doors. "Clean up on aisle two!" A pair of interns entered and escorted Harold and LeShawna out of the studio. The others could see that there was a real limousine waiting for them outside.

"Have fun, y'all!" Geoff cheered as the remaining Gaffers waved at the exiting couple. Harold and LeShawna happily embraced and waved back before being shoved into the limousine so it could drive off toward their destination.

"Well, we finally got that outta the way," Chris stated. There was a sense of relief in his voice as he turned to the losing team. "Killer Grips. One of you, except for Trent, is going home tonight. And there will be no compromise for that."

* * *

Once again, the Killer Grips had to sit and endure with great discomfort as the whole sequence introducing the elimination ceremony, otherwise known as the Gilded Chris Awards, played. Once that ordeal had ended, the handsome host came out to the podium, again wearing the stylish and spiffy looking light blue tuxedo. Chef, in his regular attire, stood in front of the stage with five Gilded Chris Award statues in his arms. The Killer Grips took a few seconds to input their votes in the voting devices so that they could get the whole ceremony over with as quickly as possible.

"Time's up!" Chris announced. "I'll tally the votes!" He pulled up a piece of paper and began going over the results. "Trent, Beth, Duncan, and Lindsay." Chef threw out statues to each one of the contestants named. "Another award and another day to compete." Chris looked back onto the sheet of paper and started to get miffed. "Oh, come on! You people are really starting to get on my nerves with your ties and stuff. Three votes for Justin and three votes for Izzy?" The rest of the Killer Grips looked nervously at Izzy and Justin. Justin looked rather annoyed while Izzy crossed her arms over her chest and held her nose up. "If not for the producers telling me I have to send only one person out tonight, I'd throw both your butts in the Lame-o-sine myself. Guess we're gonna have to do this the old fashion way." He pulled out a coin from one of his pockets. "Heads is Izzy, because she's mental. Tails is Justin, because of his curvy rear-end." He flipped the coin in the air, it landed on his hand, and he slapped it upon the back of his other hand. He then looked down and carefully examined which side faced up.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"So long, Izzy!" Chris announced with a wave of his hand.

Izzy immediately hopped to her feet and let out a might roar. One that truly sounded animalistic, scaring every one around her. "Fools!" she cried, pointing her fingers at Beth, Lindsay, and then Chris in that order as she spoke. "You sad, pathetic fools! You have no idea what you're doing, what you have done!"

"_Security_!" Chris called out. A pair of security personnel walked over and each grabbed an arm of Izzy. Then then dragged her across the Walk of Losers toward the Lame-o-sine as she continued to rant and rave.

"You are allowing the Destroyer, the Dark One, the Beast to continue freely with his evil deeds!" Izzy proclaimed wildly. "You will all regret this night, this chance to rid him! When the fourth moon of Trollack rises above the Cylinder of Eyelass, he will strike! His kingdom will be numberless and darkness will blight the land! All men shall be slaves and the time of weeping will begin! So it is written in the runes of Ollerman-Goth, so it must be!"

Izzy was finally thrown into the Lame-o-sine with the door shutting tight right behind her. Within a second, the Lame-o-sine sped off, eliminating her from the competition. Every merely watched with various looks of bewilderment and confusion on their faces.

"Yipes," Chris said, finally breaking the silence as he turned to the camera. "Just yipes. Well, that's one less headache to worry about. Tune in for more exciting drama that only our teens can deliver. Until then..." He then used on one hand the thumb and index finger to illustrate the first letter of the next few words he spoke. "Check. You. Later!"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Trent - /_Sighs._/ "Given all that's happened today, it's really hard for me to pick any one to vote off. So I had to really think about how well every one did. And even though I made no promise to vote with them, Izzy and Duncan made very good points regarding Justin's commitment to the team. So I'm picking him."

Beth - "Izzy does not deserve to be here any longer. She actually bit Justin and I bet that caused him to have that fever more so than the itching powder Chef used in the pizza."

Duncan - "Justin is a complete waste of space. And is getting very close to being as annoying as Harold and LeShawna. The sooner he's gone, the better I'm gonna feel."

Izzy - "This is it, Justin. You're gonna pay for your crimes against humanity. I just wish we could do some thing else other than send him packing. Like stick the needle in him. Or hanging. I love hangings. I've never seen one before, but I bet they're all cool and stuff with their eyes all popping out. Oh yeah, he totally deserves that."

Justin - "I'm banking on the fact that Izzy is so crazy that at least one more vote will go against her. I think Duncan is the most likely to do just that. He gets annoyed with people very easily and I'm sure he finds her more of a headache than he does with me. Why he's suddenly picking on me, I'm not sure. But the more he pushes it, the more I want him to be the next one gone."

Lindsay - "Justin's been spending a lot of time with Beth and I've been spending more time with the others. That's, like, so strange, don't you think? Maybe it's because I miss Tyler so much now. He has such an adorable butt, too. More adorable than Justin." /_Gasps._/ "Did I just say that? Oh my gosh! How can I make it up to him? Um, um. I pick Illena!"

* * *

Trent - Justin

Beth - Izzy

Duncan - Justin

Izzy - Justin

Justin - Izzy

Lindsay - Izzy

Tie-Breaker - Izzy

...

Izzy - 4

Justin - 3

...

Voted Off - Owen, Heather, Izzy

* * *

As I noted previously, the original plan was for the elimination to take place in the last chapter. And yes, Izzy was going to be the one eliminated. I am glad I changed it, having come to the conclusion that it would have been a hindrance there than here. Izzy was indeed meant to go by this point simply because there really is not a whole lot more I can do with her without recycling things I have already written. So sorry Izzy fans, but her time was pre-planned to come here.

Not much in terms of the changes to how the episode played out on the show, with the obvious exceptions of who was still in the game and who was not. Another difference was how the reward was used. My plan for LeShawna heavily differs from the way she was portrayed on the show. Speaking of the reward, in case any one was interested, the framed photographs for Gwen, Bridgette, and Geoff were of Gwen's brother, Bridgette's mom, and Geoff's best bud.

Oh, I was aware of the differences between vegans and vegetarians. So I figured I play that bit into the story, which turn resulted in a great reference I was able to then input.

**DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN THE REVIEWS!**

**Next Up:** The Sand Witch Project


	8. The Sand Witch Project

**Total Drama Action Redux**

a _Total Drama_ fan fiction story

by Lord Akiyama

* * *

**Author's Note:** This is an alternate universe story based around my idea of how the series would have gone. It begins from the episode _Alien Resurr-eggtion_ onward. Some elements are the same as in the show, but the rest is taken in a different direction.

_Total Drama_ and its characters are copyright © of Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network. This story was created purely out of sheer enjoyment so please don't sue. Or throw me off a thousand-foot high cliff into a shark-infested lake. That would so smarts.

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

The Sand Witch Project

* * *

_(Narrated by Chris McLean)_

Last time on Total Drama Action...

A girl with vision. Vision that took her past everyday thinking.

LeShawna was a street smart missy with a determination to prove that she was a winner. Utilizing talents and abilities few others would even think about, it has turned her into one of the strongest competitors remaining in the game. It seemed like there would be nothing that could hold her back.

But when the chips were down, and even when the chips came back up again, she was among the only ones who could rescue them. Searching for a cure for the disease that was afflicting her dearest friends.

As our contestants were trying to build their own Frankenstein monsters to bring to life, a sudden and contagious outbreak of an apparent deadly virus caused nearly all of them to abandon all hope. Fortunately for LeShawna, Gwen, and Trent, they knew something was up since they weren't infected. I'd count Duncan too, but then he had to take a real nasty trip to the commode.

A challenge was won. A cure found.

And in the midst of it all, Izzy found herself being eliminated via coin toss. Sending the crazy girl even further off the deep. ... Wait, this whole intro stuff wasn't about her. It was about LeShawna. Heh-heh, my bad.

Any way, Gwen named the correct diagnosis to give her team the win. But instead of taking the prize for herself, she and Trent willingly gave up their free pass to the merger so that LeShawna could go to a luxurious spa with her beau, the nerdiest nerd of them all in Harold. So yes, even a tough as nails chick like LeShawna found time to set aside personal success for some loving.

But will the seemingly random act of kindness by Gwen and Trent-

/_Begins munching on popcorn while still talking before swallowing._/

Hey, what can I say? Gross disease movies make me crave a little corn. But it's time to put the snacks away, kiddies. Because after this totally terrifying episode, there won't be a stomach left unturned.

Hold on to your buckets, it's time for some...

TOTAL... DRAMA... ACTION!

_(Cue Theme Song)_

* * *

It was a nice day. A very nice day. The kind where the sun was out, but was not terribly hot. There was a nice cool air that was not turning the temperature to cold and freezing. The grass was bright green and slick without looking dry or wet. Simply put, it was a very nice day.

Nice enough for DJ to be found on the ground, perfectly asleep while clutching his doggy plush toy. Duncan and Trent kicked a soccer ball to one another around the sleeping big man. Once in a while, Duncan would bounce the ball off of him and it would not wake him up. So they kept playing. As one would expect, Justin was lying on a deck chair getting a tan.

Not far away, Bridgette, Geoff, Harold, and LeShawna were playing a game of Go Fish. Geoff and LeShawna appeared to be playing casually while Bridgette and Harold looked determined to come out the winner of this round. It was Bridgette's turn as she studied her cards carefully, her tongue just slightly sticking out to one side of her mouth, and focusing on what card she needed to possibly put the game out of reach for the others.

"Schmoopy-Boo..." the surfer girl began to utter. "Do you have... a five?"

"Go fish, my Schmoppy-Schmoo," Geoff responded.

Bridgette picked up the top card from the pile. With a triumphant smile, she placed all of her cards down, revealing all four suits. "I win," she announced in a matter of fact tone.

"Damn, girl," LeShawna said, tossing her cards onto the table along with the rest. "That's three in a row. You got some mad skills at this game or somethin'?"

"I wouldn't say that," Bridgette answered with a slight giggle. "We just happen to play a lot of different card games on the beach whenever we're not surfing. Go Fish is the game I like to play."

"Y'all still in?" Geoff asked as he gathered up all of the cards. The others merely nodded. "Alrighty, bras. It's shufflin' time." The party dude began to shuffle the fifty-two cards. In doing so, he displayed his ability at doing many tricks during the act. This included shuffling the cards together from one hand into another in an arc.

Bridgette giggled some more out of amusement and affection. "Oh, you show off," she managed to say.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Harold - "Geoff thinks he's so cool. But did he spend three whole entire summers at Magic Steve's Magic Camp? Allow me to demonstrate my mad magic skillz by producing the Ace of Spades!" /_Claps his hands together and then, without looking, shows his hand to the camera to reveal an object. He then looks to see in his embarrassment that it is not the Ace of Spades, but a picture of him naked from the previous season._/ "Oh! Heh-heh... Hey, how did that get in there?"

* * *

A few feet away, Lindsay munched happily on one of the many sandwiches that were on numerous plates about the campgrounds. "I can't believe you managed to steal these from lunch," she stated happily. She took another bite and let out a satisfied sigh. "Yummers!"

"Well, it was an easy choice really," Gwen said with a shrug. "Either steal the good stuff from Chris' private trailer or allow ourselves to eat Chef's slop."

Just then, Beth began to cartwheel her way onto the grounds for all to see. "I call this the Egg Salad Fireworks!" she proclaimed. She then performs a complex flip that sees her landing in a splits position and then pushing herself back up to her feet. "Drumroll!" She does one more complex flip, this time sending a hefty quantity of sandwiches into the air. They started out going up in one direction before they started to rain down from all directions. "Ta-da!"

"Very nice, Beth," Trent said in compliment as he grabbed a couple sandwiches that fell his way.

Beth smiled but then became crestfallen. "Yeah," she sighed. "I just don't like the fact that we stole them in the first place."

"And why not steal them," Justin pointed out as he was eating a sandwich. "Chef's cooking has gotten so good lately."

"I'm still doubtful Chef made these," Gwen noted. "We can actually eat them and there's no unsuitable ingredients to them. Something's up, guys."

More would have been said upon the subject. However, a loud snore was heard and everyone turned their attention to the sleeping big man on the ground. After a moment, they were merely content with him getting as much sleep as he could. None ever had the thought of why he was seemingly so tired in the first place.

* * *

The truth of the matter was that the sandwiches were not made by Chef. Nor were they made for Chris. The sandwiches were made last night, at the Craft Services Tent in the middle of a stormy weather, by DJ. Done out of some strange attempt to deviate suspicion. DJ was happily making his sandwiches when he suddenly felt that there was a presence behind him.

"Lunch!" a voice shouted.

"Yipe!" DJ managed to squeak, flinching in horror as he turned to see the speaker. He then hurriedly picked up a spoon and lightly tossed it toward the figure.

The spoon barely even bounced off of Chef's face. With a brow raised, he took a good look at DJ, who was still in his flinched position and shaking from head to toe. In a mocking manner, he began to slowly clap his hands as a means of bringing DJ's attention back to order.

"Maybe it's time to stop cheatin'," DJ sighed. "Bein' in this alliance with you, it makes me feel all kinds of wrong inside!"

"This is not about right or wrong, son," Chef declared. "It's about you and me winnin' that cool mil."

* * *

"This is fun, huh besty?" Beth said to Lindsay. "Imagine if there was no challenge today."

"Oh my gosh, we could just totally hang out," Lindsay responded with great, positive enthusiasm. "And braid each other's hair. I would love that besty!"

"So, LeShawna," Gwen said as she and Trent decided to hang out with those playing cards. A sly grin on her face. "Bridgette and I have been meaning to ask."

Bridgette gasped with excitement. "You have got to tell us about you and Harold at the spa," the surfer girl stated, hardly able to contain herself.

"Well," LeShawna began to say, rather shyly at first while trying to maintain a sense of composure. "I ain't gonna say too much about what went on up in there. It's not all that special. But I will say my suga' gots the hands that please."

Bridgette slightly squealed with joy while Gwen chuckled warmly. Trent and Geoff gave gentle approving nudges to Harold, who merely blushed and smiled over the discussion. LeShawna was smiling for a moment, but then turned a firm eye over to Duncan.

"What?" the punk asked as he picked up the soccer ball. "I didn't do or say anything."

"And you best keep it that way," LeShawna stated sternly. "Otherwise, I'm shovin' those piercin's someplace very unpleasant for you."

"Oh, I'm so scared," Duncan said sarcastically.

All of the good cheer that was in the air came to a sudden and uncomfortable end in mere seconds when the speakers beeped into activation. "Attention all Total Drama victims!" the recognizable voice of Chris McLean announced. "Please meet me in the northeast corner of the studio-palooza! Bring lozenges. The screaming's gonna hurt!"

"There is a challenge," Beth uttered in disappointment. She then looked over to Lindsay. "Just promise we can still do the hair braiding."

"I think I'll do a French," Lindsay responded, maintaining some positive enthusiasm.

"Yo, Sleeping Beauty," Duncan said to DJ, giving the big guy a slight kicking nudge. "Time to get up."

DJ blinked a few times, waking up and trying to get an understanding of where he was. He sat up and let out a heavy yawn before getting to his feet and sighing. "Man, did I oversleep or somethin'?" he asked, unsure of what was happening.

"Saying that you overslept would be an understatement, man," Duncan replied. "I thought I'd actually have to really kick you in order to wake you."

"The things I have to do for a million dollars," Justin sighed as he got himself properly dressed for the challenge.

"What do you mean, 'things you have to do'?" Duncan asked. "You don't do squat." The punk walked off while the male model shot him a hard glare from behind.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Justin - "You want me to play rough? Well, alright then. I can play rough. Just remember when you're sniveling in the corner in tears over the suffering that you've endured that you brought this all upon yourself, Duncan. I get what I want. And no one is going to stop me from getting it."

* * *

The competitors gathered at the northeast corner of the studio lot as they were instructed. And then they waited. Waited for what seemed like a very long time as they all started to get real agitated about why it was taking so long for the challenge to start.

"We walk all the way over here and Lieutenant Slick can't even be bothered to show up?" LeShawna stated aloud, breaking the silence that was in the air among them.

"Maybe he's racked up too much overtime figuring out new ways to torture us," Justin suggested.

Any further discussion was halted when everyone began to notice that there was a scream that was getting louder. All looked up to see a body falling and everyone jumped out of the way before it was impaled on one of the light stands. A great deal of blood splashing upon them. They all looked up to see that the body was Chris and virtually everyone began to scream, although Beth had difficulty doing so while Gwen and Duncan merely looked stunned to let out a peep.

Duncan waved his hand over the apparently cold dead eyes of Chris. "Huh," he managed to utter. "Guess the producers don't like paying overtime."

"I'm worth every dime," Chris suddenly proclaimed with a smirk on his face, shooting his upper body up to look at the competitors.

"Aww man," Duncan grumbled. "I was just gonna call dibs on your boat."

"Should've known," Gwen added. "The human body does not contain the amount of blood splattered."

"It's the magic of cinema, boys and girls!" Chris announced. He then removed the top part of the light stand, revealing that he had not been impaled at all. "I'm absolutely, perfectly, crystally fine! Wanna see how it's done?"

"No!" all of the competitors shouted.

Chris did not care what they thought and explained anyway. "Our crackerjack effects team seals fake blood in a thin membrane of plastic called a squib," he began to say. "This little baby bursts on impact. An old-fashioned optical illusion helps sell that I've been impaled."

"Can we just get on with this?" Gwen moaned in frustration.

"I can't believe you're so unscarable!" Lindsay stated to Beth, having noticed that she was not heard when the others cried earlier. "You didn't even scream!"

"I did on the inside," Beth said in response, slightly rubbing her throat. "I just can't do it on the outside. Not at the top of my lungs, at least."

"Huh?" Lindsay uttered in confusion.

"When I was ten, and they were doing my tonsillectomy, there was a freak accident and the doctor's earring fell in my throat," Beth explained. "Can't scream worth a darn."

"Get out," Lindsay said in awe.

"Serious," Beth said.

"But you do manage to let out light ones and wailing, right?" Duncan pointed out.

"Like I said, I can't do it at the top of my lungs," Beth proclaimed.

"Time for today's totally terrifying blood-curdling horror movie challenge!" Chris announced. "To figure out which team gets which challenge, a scream off! Think of every great horror movie you've ever seen."

"Oh my gosh, you guys," Lindsay said with a fearful gasp. "Did you see that one with the possessed rug that learned to walk and smother cats. That was so scary!"

"Doesn't that sound like somethin' Izzy would make up?" LeShawna asked with a curious brow raised.

"It's a real movie," Gwen said with a sigh of embarrassment. "One of the few I could get away with watching whenever I'm on a babysitting gig. Not scary enough to scar the little brats forever, thereby meeting with the approval of their conservative parents."

"All horror movies have one thing in common," Chris continued. "Fantastic screaming from actors. And the killers who snuff them. Someone from each team will be serial killer, the rest of you will be the screamers. Now, Screaming Gophers have a one person advantage over the Killer Bass. So you're sitting this one out, Gwen."

"How come we don't get to decide?" Bridgette asked curiously.

"Seems obvious, really," Gwen answered with a shrug. "I know horror movies inside out. I'd ace this kind of challenge in a heartbeat."

"But Duncan is knowledgable about horror movies, too," Harold pointed out. "Meaning he would do just as well in the challenge as the serial killer."

"Already scared I'm gonna make you pee your pants again, four-eyes?" Duncan mocked with a chuckle.

"Just try to scare me, Duncan," LeShawna stated in a dare. "That mohawk of yo's won't be the only thin' green by the end of the week."

"Even I know it wouldn't be as challenging if teams got to pick their own serial killer," Chris announced, bringing the attention back to him. "Which is why the opposition will pick the serial killers who will try to scare them. The serial killer who can cause the most terrifying screams from their opponents wins for their team."

* * *

"So, we gotta chose one of their dudes or dudettes to scare us," Geoff summarized, scratching the back of his head underneath his hat. "Sounds like a great party game."

"The good news is that Duncan will not be the one to scare us since we do not have to choose him," Harold stated with a satisfied smile.

"So that leaves us with Trent, Justin, Beth, and Lindsay," Bridgette noted.

"You know, Justin ain't all that scary lookin'," DJ pointed out. "He spends so much time makin' himself look good that he don't know how to be horrifyin'."

"Sh'yeah, really," Geoff agreed. "Even if he puts a scary mask over his face, girls would squeal rather than scream in terror."

"As much as that sounds like... a good idea..." LeShawna began to say, wanting to speak her words carefully in fear that it would come off in a manner that would make Harold jealous. When Harold showed no sign of such, she continued. "I overheard Beth mention that she can't scream too good. Meanin' we could throw a rabid dog at her and she would barely be able to let out a cry."

"So in order to get the best possible chance of making the Killer Grips scream, we need to take Beth out of the equation," Bridgette said. She gave it some thought and then shrugged. "Well, I don't see her being able to give any of us a good scare."

"That works for me, too," DJ agreed with a nod. The others all nodded along with him.

"Well, alrighty then," Geoff declared. "We're pickin' Beth to try to scare us."

* * *

"If you ask me, we should make Twinkle Toes the serial killer," Duncan suggested. "Harold would make such a lame killer that it would actually be funny."

"I'm not sure," Beth said in response. "Being skinny and lanky, he would be intimidating for some of us. Not to mention that he's wearing a mask, so it would be difficult to believe that that's him."

"Well, it can't be LeShawna or Geoff," Justin noted. "They would be able to pull off scary with little effort. It would certainly have to be one of the others."

"Maybe we should, like, go with DJ," Lindsay stated. "I mean, he's such a cute teddy bear even if you, like, put him in a mask. Plus, he so can't do scary."

"He is easily frightened," Trent said, scratching his chin. "I remember the first day on the last season he was easily scared of a cockroach. That's a pretty good idea you put out there, Lindsay."

"Really?" Lindsay asked, amazed and in awe. "You like my idea?"

"Could have been worse," Duncan answered with a shrug. "You could've suggested Tyler, even though he's not here."

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Lindsay - "Oh my gosh, they like my idea! Can I tell you that felt so delicious! It was almost better than being pretty. ... Well, almost."

* * *

Gwen crossed her arms in annoyance, having to sit next to the so-called handsome host during this challenge as opposed to helping her teammates. All because she was the resident expert of the horror movie genre above all others. She shot a disgusted glare at Chris when he dared to offer her popcorn.

"Suit yourself, toots," Chris said with a shrug. He ignored her when Gwen mimicked cutting her throat and pointing at him as a means of threatening him, instead tossing a popcorn into his mouth. "Victims of the first round ready?"

"Oh, why did it have to be one of those lost in the forest scenes," Bridgette muttered, shaking in terror at her surroundings. "Don't you guys remember that I hate being alone in the forest."

"Well, you're not exactly alone in the forest, per se," Trent said in an attempt to calm her down. His choice of words did not come off the way he intended as Bridgette began to whimper some more. It took the music man a second to realize this. "I mean, I'm out here too! So that means you're not necessarily out here alone!"

"Guess you have no intention of throwing this one, huh handsome," Gwen teased with a smirk.

"This is not funny, Gwen!" Bridgette complained.

"Alright, Trent and Bridgette," Chris announced to the competitors on the stage. "Prepare yourselves for your killers are about to enter. Let's see if we can't get huge, massive, ginormous screams from either of you. We'll be measuring the volume on our Scream-O-Meter." A recording of a female scream was heard to demonstrate the meter's function.

"Chris!" Bridgette cried.

"Lights!" Chris announced. Lights around the stage turning on, illuminating the scene properly. "Camera!" A camera popped up next to him and began recording. "Action!" An intern appeared in front of the camera for a moment to clap the slate so that the challenge could begin.

* * *

Bridgette nervously looked about, a desperate attempt to prevent any one from sneaking up on her. She kept from moving around too much as she was uncomfortable as it was in the forest, nevermind that she was in a fake one that was supposed to evoke darkness.

The surfer girl froze in horror when she heard some quiet rustling. Eyes popped wide open with her pupils shrinking into mere dots, she slowly turned to where she thought she heard the noise. She spied upon a bush. Virtually everyone and their mother would know what would happen next. It just did not make Bridgette any less frightened.

"Boo!" Beth sounded in her best scary voice as she popped out of the bushes, wearing her serial killer mask.

The scream Bridgette let out was deafening.

Beth found herself having fallen back onto the ground by the sheer power of the scream. By the time she got up and removed her mask, she found that Bridgette was gone. Nevertheless, a smile formed on her face when she heard that the Scream-O-Meter reached the maximum level.

"Sorry about that, Bridgette!" Beth called out. She waited for an answer, but she did not receive one immediately. "Bridgette?"

"Might wanna look up, Beth," Gwen said, pointing upward from where she sat.

Beth looked up and found that Bridgette was perched on a branch several feet high. Her arms wrapped around the bark of the tree and clinging with all her might. The surfer girl was also whimpering, letting out soft noises as her entire body shook. It was the calm before a mighty storm.

"I really hate this challenge!" Bridgette cried. "I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!"

* * *

DJ peered from one side of the tree, looking out nervously in search of the victim he was supposed to scare. That person being the music man, Trent. Right behind DJ was Chef, who tried to stay as well hidden from view of the cameras as possible.

"I don't think I can do this," DJ stated in a worried tone.

In a manner done to encourage the younger boy to get moving, Chef let out a roar that caused DJ to nearly scream and go running off. Along the way, he found himself running into Trent, nearly knocking him down to the ground.

"Aww, man," DJ said, feeling guilty for what happened. "I'm real sorry, bro." Before anything more could happen, he heard someone hissing. DJ looked over to see Chef nodded at him, as though signaling that he should put the mask on and try to scare the music man. With reluctance, DJ put the mask on and did his best serial killer roar.

"Um, sorry dude," Trent said with a shrug. "Maybe if you had been wearing the mask when you ran into me, you might've gotten a scream outta me."

"Not like you weren't expecting him," Gwen called out to Trent, teasing him further. "You did pick him to try to scare you after all, knowing he wouldn't be good at it."

"I didn't know critics were allowed to be on set during filming, beautiful," Trent responded with a chuckle.

"With a solid fifty on the Scream-O-Meter, let's notch one up for Beth, Trent, and the Killer Bass!" Chris announced.

* * *

"You know, I gotta say this, dudes," Geoff said, scratching the back of his head underneath his hat. He was looking in the direction where he believed the camera was. "I kinda get that you wanna get us scared in a closed space and all. But the porta-potty?"

From the control room, Gwen shot another stern glare at Chris. The handsome host merely looked back slightly with a raised brow, appearing as though he does not understand what the big deal is.

"Is this some kinda fetish you freaks have, taping us in the toilet?" Gwen stated in a rather vicious tone.

"We couldn't find a basement set that was already built," Chris explained, tossing a popcorn into his mouth. "And we really didn't have the time nor the patience to make one up from scratch."

Gwen grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest once again. She then turned her attention back to the screens to watch the serial killers attempt to scare their next victims.

Quite suddenly, Beth burst in through the door of the porta-potty containing Geoff. She let out the most threatening growl that she could. After a moment, nothing much happened as Geoff merely stared at the masked girl. Then, he suddenly began to chuckle. The party dude attempted to suppress his apparent laughter, but it wasn't long before he was howling.

"I'm so sorry, Beth," Geoff managed to say through his laughing. "But I just can't take you seriously... when you're wearing... pink sweat pants!" He kept on laughing while Beth found herself looking crestfallen in disappointment.

* * *

"That was an accidental tinkle on screen last season," Lindsay stated to where she thought the camera was. She was attempting to explain herself for what happened back on the island. "I'm not doing it again. And how am I supposed to be scared when I know DJ is coming in any minute as he's not scary at-"

As if on cue, DJ opened the door. The appearance of him entering and wearing the killer mask causing Lindsay to scream very much at the top of her lungs. DJ immediately flinched, trying his best to look away out of shame and embarrassment.

"Oh!" he cried through the mask. "I-I'm sorry! I busted in on yo' private moment!"

Just as DJ stopped talking, both paused for a moment. They recognized that a sound was being made. The kind that sounded like something was being poured. The realization of what it really was caused Lindsay to scream and cry even louder than ever before. She just tinkled on screen again.

"Boy, is my face red..." DJ managed to utter, covering his eyes as he backed away.

"And that's round two to DJ, Geoff, and the Screaming Gophers," Chris announced, tossing another popcorn into his mouth. "With a pee-fueled eighty-five on the Scream-O-Meter."

"Pervert," Gwen quietly muttered under her breath.

Seemingly unbeknownst to everyone, Chef peered from behind the porta-potty where DJ scared Lindsay. The big man appeared to be not pleased despite the outcome being favorable for DJ. It was very likely that it was because DJ was not actually trying to scare Lindsay that made him unsatisfied with the results.

"If DJ won't step up, the other half of the alliance has to..." Chef stated quietly.

* * *

"Alright, guys," Chris said to Harold and LeShawna, who were sitting on a couch with scripts in their hands. There was a huge grin on his face while he continued to speak. "This is the tie-breaker scene. Yer gonna hafta act yer faces off."

"Please," LeShawna stated, raising a hand up to the handsome host. "Like there's any scene that's gonna make me and Harold uneasy enough to get lil' Beth to scare us."

"Uh... heh-heh... LeShawna?" Harold managed to say in a rather shy and embarrassed manner. Looking as though he was trying to cover his face with the script. "It says here that we have to... m-make out..."

"S-Say what now?" LeShawna gasped. Her cheeks burning pink just like Harold. "W-We're supposed to be k-kissin'?"

"It's the classic horror movie set-up," Chris chuckled. "There's always one where the killer sneaks up on a couple who are making out. Think you two can handle it? Then good luck." The handsome host continued to chuckle as he made his way off of the stage.

Harold and LeShawna took a nervous glance at one another only to quickly and shyly look away, smiles on their faces and their cheeks blushing pink. After what seemed like a moment's hesitation, they finally leaned toward one another and began to kiss. Lightly at first, but they they started to let each new kiss linger just a little longer than the last.

Seconds later, Beth climbed up from behind the couch, bearing a plastic prop knife, and growling in a manner she felt a serial killer would. "I'm gonna chop you into little teriyaki... bits..." she started to say, but then slowed into a fade. She took one look at Harold and LeShawna kissing and she sighed. "This is a bit unfair, guys. I can't even try to scare them when they look so cute together."

"And you accuse me of only wanting to torture you kids," Chris said to Gwen with a wicked grin on his face. "As you can see, I'm a perfectly fair guy and would love nothing more than to see two lovebirds hook up. They bring in the ratings too, you know. So why not help give that little nudge to Harold and LeShawna, get their blossoming relationship rolling."

"You're still a jerk, though," Gwen muttered, though her attention was less on Chris and more on the lovely display of affection before her, which she was clearly enjoying.

* * *

With the Screaming Gaffers having completed their part of the challenge, it was the Killer Grip's final turn. But with Beth, Trent, and Lindsay having already been used, that left only two players to fill the roles of the kissing couple.

"This has got to be some sick way of you punking us, Chris!" Duncan fumed in anger.

"There is absolutely no way I am doing this," Justin proclaimed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I don't care if it potentially costs our team the victory, this is not going to happen," Duncan stated, also crossing his arms over his chest.

"Might wanna think about that real carefully, boys," Chris announced with a chuckle, speaking gleefully through a megaphone. "By quitting, you are essentially putting yourselves in danger of elimination. Thereby losing your chance at a million bucks."

One million dollars.

To believe that winning that much money would be simple or easy obviously did not know what they were talking about. That kind of money is not really won, but rather earned. Unfortunately for Duncan and Justin, they would have to do the unthinkable as a means of possibly earning one million dollars.

With a great deal of reluctance and an even great deal of hesitation, the boys shuddered and puckered up. They then turned to one another, closed their eyes, and slowly inched their heads closer to each other. Sweat pouring out of their heads like a pair of waterfalls. All they had to do was just get through this. It should not be a problem at all.

Then they opened their eyes.

At the exact second their lips just barely managed to touch together.

Rearing back from one another as quickly as humanly possible, both began to spew and gag in horror at what just apparently happened. Neither one of them feeling even remotely comfortable about the whole ordeal and were even wondering if it was worth a million bucks.

"You taste like street!" Justin cried amid all of his spitting moaning. "My lips may never recover!"

At that exact moment, DJ stood up from behind the couch and mustered to let out the best possible growl he had ever made up to that point. Unfortunately for him, none of his victims were paying any sort of attention. Not when they were preoccupied with their own concerns.

"Your lips may never recover?" Duncan responded in a highly aggressive and angry tone. "Just how much gloss do you apply? And for all of the time you waste prettying yourself up, do you ever spend the time to chew on an Altoid every now and then?"

"Now there's something even I haven't seen," Gwen said, watching the scene before her with a great deal of amusement. "A horror movie in which the killer sneaks up on a gay couple making out."

"You should see the number of such scripts I reject on a weekly basis," Chris noted. "I may have a very handsome look, but I only do the risky gigs if I know for sure there's a good pay off."

"Though I'm sure you had no problem using it as another way of torturing us," Gwen said.

"We like to think of ourselves as equal rights opportunist," Chris announced.

"I suspect you were hoping for the scene to be two girls instead," Gwen noted with a suspicious brow raised at him.

"With the right pair of girls, think of the gigantic spike in the ratings that would result," Chris stated in a very unabashed manner.

"Pervert," Gwen grumbled, turning back to the scene with her arms crossed over her chest.

Quite suddenly, a chainsaw was heard revving up. All looked to see Chef, wearing his own hockey mask and wielding what appeared to be a live chainsaw, appear from behind the camera and motion toward the three boys on stage in a very threatening manner. One that managed to scare all three of them. More than enough to cause the Scream-O-Meter to shoot beyond the max. Seconds later, DJ fainted onto the couch in-between Duncan and Justin.

"Well, looks like DJ and the well-named Screaming Gaffers have won this one," Chris announced. "Seeing as they buried the needle."

"They had help!" Duncan complained.

"Yeah, like that ended up doing a lot of help for us in the end," Gwen noted. "Looking at DJ now, you'd swear he's dead."

"DJ," Chris called out using the megaphone. "Come in, DJ."

All of the contestants gathered around DJ, laying him out on the couch. They each examined him, looking to see if there was any sign of consciousness.

"Is he breathing?" Beth asked in a worried tone.

"I think he's saying somethin'," LeShawna proclaimed.

They watched curiously and anxiously as DJ slowly began to stir. He also appeared to be murmuring something that they could hardly make out.

"Momma?" he appeared to have uttered.

* * *

When DJ opened his eyes, he was quite bewildered at his surroundings. He was not on the film set. In fact, he was not even sure that he was on the ground. If he were to believe where he was, then he appeared to be up in the clouds. As though he were in Heaven.

Staring out into the distance, DJ spotted what looked to be the silhouette of a person. As he squinted his eyes, hoping to get a better look at the features, he discovered that he could instantly recognize the figure. There was no doubt in his mind that it was his dear sweet mother.

"Momma!" DJ cried with joy. He immediately jumped to his feet and began running towards her. "I'm here, Momma!" As he was getting closer, he was surprised to find that she was facing him not with any sense of happiness of joy like he was expressing. But instead there was a stern look of disapproval on her face. "It's me, Momma! It's Poopy-Doo! You're Lil' Devon Joseph Poopy-Doo!"

Upon stopping just inches away from her, he could also see that her arms were crossed firmly over her chest. It was as though she was less than pleased to see him.

"The son I raised would never lie!" his mother proclaimed. "Or cheat!" Suddenly and swiftly, she gave him a sharp backhanded slap across the face.

* * *

DJ winced upon feeling the sting on his cheek. With some blinking of his eyes, he realized that the whole scene he had just experienced was nothing more than a dream. In reality, he was still on the film set. He had apparently been propped up upon a chair. And the one who had slapped was not his Momma, but was instead Duncan.

"I need to see Chef!" DJ declared once he had come to full consciousness. He received an immediate response in the form of another slap from Duncan.

"Dude!" Geoff nearly cried.

"What?" Duncan questioned, almost as though he was oblivious to the fact that DJ was clearly awake. "He's still talking crazy."

"Chef's in a meeting with the producers," Chris said, properly responding to DJ. He displayed a wicked grin on his face, a sign that he was enjoying saying what he was saying. "A disciplinary meeting. He's in trouble. Not allowed to mess with the challenges."

"I knew somethin' was up," LeShawna noted quietly. Only there was someone who picked up on what she had said.

"You're like Albert Einstein," Harold said in compliment. "With better hair... and girly bits." Her response to his attempt at flirtation was immediately interrupted by the so-called handsome host speaking.

"Moving right along," Chris announced. "It's time to pack up those overnight bags, loser Grips. You and your sleeping bags are spending the night in the dining hall." The Killer Grips were crestfallen upon hearing this news while the Screaming Gaffers let out sighs of relief. "Gaffers, back to the comfort of the trailers for a little 'R & R'. I'll see you there in half-an-hour."

* * *

"This bites," Duncan grumbled as he dropped his sleeping bag onto the ground. "I'm forced to kiss pretty boy and now I'm spending the night within ten feet of Chef's cooking. I'm starting to believe all this ain't worth a million bucks, man."

"At least we're spending the place in some place we're familiar with," Trent noted as he placed his sleeping bag on the ground. "I don't want to think about having to sleep in some unknown building specifically by Chris."

Duncan thought about Trent's words and then nodded in agreement. "You make a good point, man," the punk noted.

"Guys!" Chris called out from the other side of the Craft Services Tent. "You mind joining us here?"

The host was sitting on a chair while Beth, Justin, and Lindsay sat on the floor forming an arc around him. Feeling as though there was little else they could do, Duncan and Trent reluctantly joined them.

"I'm about to tell you... why this film lot... was abandoned and closed," Chris continued, speaking as though he was telling a scary story. The others were not necessarily buying it.

"Because it's a death trap," Justin commented aloud.

"Hush, my child," Chris responded in a sarcastic manner. He then resumed in his previous storytelling voice. "This film lot is perfectly safe... on this plane. But in the other dimension..." He reached down and picked up a flashlight. He turned it on from below his head so as to illuminate his face. What caused the contestants to flinch was that the lights in the dining hall turned off exactly at the same time as when the flashlight was turned on.

"Ronnita the Rent-a-Cop, a dedicated security guard who worked here for twenty-five loyal years," Chris continued. He at first spoke rather quietly, but was slowly working his way into creating a spooky atmosphere. "Until her mysterious death. Right here. On this very spot!" The contestants once again flinched, though it was becoming apparent that he was getting them in the appropriate mood. Except for Duncan, who appeared quite fascinated with the story. "Now, her desperate and uneasy spirit walks the lot. No one has been able to spend a night in this Craft Services Tent." Chris took a moment to slowly shine the light around the room. Some of the contestants could swear that some creepy shadows could be seen.

"Cause they were killed by falling sets?" Duncan asked in a joking manner, not buying any word of the story as legitimate.

"Because... of the haunting!" Chris responded, maintaining his storytelling tone. The way he spoke the last word spooked the other contestants some more. Then there was a sudden flash of both the flashlight turning off and the indoor lights being turned on occurred, causing them to flinch again.

"Your task, spend the whole night here!" Chris announced, returning to his hosting voice and standing up. "Without leaving this tent. Manage to do so and your team gets invincibility and nobody goes home." He walked over to a table that had a collection of strange objects. Some electrical devices, one other what appeared to be an Ouija board. "Track any psychic phenomenon using these ghost meters. And just in case..." He was about to hand Beth his flashlight. But when Beth was within grasp of it, he quickly pulled it back and instead gave her one of the extremely small key-chain flashlights.

"Gee, thanks," Beth said sarcastically as he turned the little flashlight on.

"Hang on a second," Trent stated. "If any one of us exits the tent, it's game over for us?"

"Nah," Chris replied, waving his hand at the music man. "The whole team has to exit the tent in order for it to be game over. You could have at least one person still here by dawn and be able to achieve victory. Just like in the movies."

"Guess there's one good thing about having Duncan around here," Justin muttered.

"Pretty Boy afraid of the dark?" Duncan questioned sarcastically. "Don't go pinning all this on my shoulders, buddy. How about proving yourself by stepping up for a change and make it through the night on your own? I double dare all of you to do better than me."

"That's an acceptable challenge," Trent responded. "This is an opportunity for us to show everyone that we're serious contenders this time around. A chance for someone like Lindsay to display leadership for a change."

"Now there's something I'd like to see," Duncan chuckled in a seemingly sarcastic manner. "Blondie being a leader in this kind of challenge." Unbeknownst to him, Lindsay heard the punk's words. She glared at him with a look of determination, appearing as though she was going to take his statement seriously.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Lindsay - /_Holding up an X-ray of her skull._/ "You see those little bumps back there? Those are totally a spine!" /_Throws down X-ray._/ "I'm not a follower. Like at cheerleading, I'm right in the middle of the pyramid." /_Uses her arms to display her position in a pyramid._/ "And when all my sisters and I decide on something, like where to go shopping or whatev's, I'm always the third vote. That's not..." /_Pauses when she realizes what she last said really meant._/ "... Oh... Well, I can change!" /_Sheepishly looks over to one side._/ "If that's okay with you guys."

* * *

The Screaming Gaffers were gathered at a campfire that burned in-between the trailers. They waited until Chris arrived to finally give them the instructions he said he would provide them for their challenge. Once he arrived, the contestants were ready to hear him out.

"The Killer Grips are sitting in the Craft Services Tent like sitting ducks," Chris announced. "Your task is to make like special effects gurus and frighten the pants off them." Now this was a challenge the contestants could get excited about as nearly all of them started to grin from ear to ear. Chris let out a seemingly sinister chuckle to match the mood that was building. "Or at least scare them enough to get them out of the tent before dawn."

"How are we supposed to scare them?" Bridgette asked curiously.

"It's your call," Chris replied with a shrug. "But you get them out, your team wins invincibility and nobody goes home. Oh just so you know, I told them some cockamamie story about a security guard who died on set." Chris let out another chuckle before leaving the contestants to their challenge.

"How are we gonna pull this off?" DJ asked the team curiously.

"Just turn out the lights," LeShawna suggested. "Beth's afraid of her own shadow."

"Chainsaw, bra," Geoff stated. "Nothing's scarier than a dude with a chainsaw."

"I got it!" Harold declared. He then immediately headed off, leaving the rest of the teaming to wonder what exactly he had come up with. With a shrug, they went off to follow him.

* * *

"Thank you my lovely assistants," Harold began to say outside the Craft Services Tent. He was holding some object in his arms which were attached to the hook of a fishing line behind held by DJ. The others hoped he would hurry up and explain himself and his idea. "Now the Magnificent Harold is ready to scare our opponents into submission with the Phantasm Ball!"

"Seriously?" Gwen questioned doubtfully with a raised brow. "The Phantasm Ball is the best you can come up with?"

"You will quake, mortal, before all I've learned at Magic Steve's Magic Camp," Harold proclaimed. "Behold!" He released the object in his hand, letting DJ reel it up slightly to reveal what otherwise looked like a ball loosely covered by a white sheet.

LeShawna noticed the looks she was receiving from Gwen and Bridgette. It did not help that she herself looked concerned about just how doubtfully she thought Harold's plan was going to be.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Gwen - /_Has a hand over her face and sighs._/ "It's because LeShawna is back together with him that I'm trying like hell to hold back saying or doing anything real bad to Harold. On purpose, any way. It's hard because his ideas, while in good faith, are silly and often times very stupid. Usually to the point that I really want to slap him in the face. But I stop myself short because it is out of respect for the fact that he's with one of the few closest friends I have on this damned show."

* * *

Bored, the Killer Grips began to play a game of cards. All of them except Justin, though, he merely laid himself on top of his sleeping bag and tapped his fingers on his knee. But like the others, he too expected that something was going to happen and they were merely waiting for it to occur.

"Do you have a seven?" Duncan asked.

"How do you always know?" Lindsay questioned in amazement. "It's like you're psychotic!" She was oblivious to the chuckle that Trent gave to Duncan, who glared at the musician in return, that her statement could have a hint of irony to them. As she placed the seven down, she was also oblivious to the fact that the gasp Beth made was that of panic and not of awe. "I know, right Beth? Duncan's totally got S.N.P.!"

Beth let out another gasp, once again out of panic. To further illustrate just what exactly type of gasp she was letting out, she was pointing to whatever it was that caught her attention. Everyone looked over and saw what appeared to be a white figure swaying left and right. The sight was enough to make Justin and Beth gasp further in horror while Trent flinched slightly both at the sight and the reaction his teammates were giving off. However, Duncan merely rolled his eyes while Lindsay was carefully studying one of the electronic ghost meters.

"Wait!" Lindsay cried. It appeared Justin and Beth were not listening as they were just about to exit the tent. "I said wait!" This caught their attention as the two came to a dead stop just right as they were inches away from stepping outside. "The ghost meter's aren't reading a thing."

"And if you don't trust Hot Stuff, then how about trusting an expert on horror flicks," Duncan declared, walking over to the swaying object. "I cannot believe the two of you would be so gullible as to fall for one of the most amateurish tricks in the book." He removed the white sheet to reveal that it was nothing more than a soccer ball attached to a fishing line. "You can bet I'll be giving nightmares to the dweeb that was responsible for sticking a hook in my soccer ball in some dumb attempt to scare me."

"I'm quite surprised you managed to keep your cool, Lindsay," Trent noted with an impressed brow raised. "Nice job."

"Thanks," Lindsay said shyly, turning her head slightly and smiling with pride at the compliment given to her.

"Look, just listen to Linds, since she has the ghost meters, and also to me, since I know more than my fair share of Halloween tricks, and we'll ace this challenge," Duncan proclaimed. "Got it?"

"Works for me," Trent replied.

Beth sheepishly nodded in response while Justin quietly and reluctantly nodded his head. He was hardly pleased that the team's success would be placed on the shoulders of someone like Duncan. More humiliating is that it also rested on the shoulders of Lindsay.

* * *

The Screaming Gaffers gave Harold a good, hard glare and crossed their arms over their chests. Harold responded back with a nervous smile and an equally nervous chuckle. "You have to admit..." the nerd attempted to explain himself. "It was quite..."

He slowly shut himself up when Gwen raised a hand at him.

"Harold, it's because LeShawna's my friend and you are with her that I won't smack you upside the head," the goth girl stated. "Whether you want to admit it or not, Duncan is the key to their victory and their defeat in this one. Scare him and the rest will follow. Magic is not going to work against him in this challenge, no matter how good you may be. You need something that will spook someone who knows every trick in the book."

"So how are we gonna accomplish that?" LeShawna asked curiously.

"Fortunately for us, I know every trick in the book as well," Gwen declared proudly.

"And being one of his best bras, I know what creeps Duncan out," Geoff added.

* * *

In the kitchen, Bridgette stirred the special concoction as fast as she could. Gwen walked over and used a finger to obtain a small sample for her to taste.

"Hmmm..." she muttered after tasting. "Needs more corn syrup. Not quite scabby enough."

"I'll get you some," DJ cheerfully volunteered. He took off before any one could object, though there was hardly any one who would in the first place.

"Respect, Gwen," LeShawna stated, admiring the concoction being made. "It really looks like blood!"

"Horror movies may be cheesy in plot, but they're rich in how they develop their effects," Gwen noted. "And when you're on a limited budget, you need to be able to use whatever you can get your hands on to make the effect work."

"But Duncan is sure to recognize that this isn't real blood," Bridgette pointed out as she continued to stir. "How is this going to scare the pants off of him?"

"It's being combined with our secret weapon, babe," Geoff replied with chuckle. "This is going to be so rad!"

It was just then that DJ returned with more corn syrup and handed them to Bridgette. His quick reappearance did not go unnoticed.

"You really know your way around the kitchen, huh," Harold commented. DJ merely smiled and shrugged in response.

* * *

Bridgette and Geoff got themselves in position while the rest of the Screaming Gaffers took a peak at how the Killer Grips were doing in the Craft Services Tent. By now, everyone on the Grips were playing cards, hoping to take their minds off of what had been happening and get through the entire night as quickly as possible.

"Do you have a ten?" Beth asked.

"Maybe," Justin responded with a raised brow and a half grin forming on his lips. "Care to make it interesting?" Before anything more could be said or done, the male model caught sight of something and immediately stood up in horror. "Gah!" This did not go unnoticed by the others and they were able to see for themselves what Justin discovered.

"The... walls!" Trent managed to utter, slightly speaking aloud the obvious. Red liquid slowly began to seep out and rundown from a wall.

"Okay, now we're cooking," Duncan stated in an amused tone. He stood up from his seated position and made his way over to the wall. "I like the realism they're putting into..." His voice began to trail as he suddenly stopped moving.

The others were curious to see what it was that was making the punk stop in mid-sentence when a silhouette appeared on the window next to the spot on the wall that was now completely covered in the red liquid. Only Duncan was close enough to get a better look at what it was that was in the window. It did not help when seconds later he screamed at the top of his lungs. That was more than enough for Justin and Beth to bail as quickly as possible.

"Wait!" Lindsay called, taking a sniff at the same time. "What do you smell?" She turned to the others for an answer. Unfortunately, she found that only Trent stood still, though he was beginning to turn pale white, while Justin and Beth were long gone and Duncan was sprinting out of the tent in horror.

After a brief moment of silence, the music man shrug and began to sniff. After doing so, he raised a confused brow. "Ketchup?" he questioned.

Lindsay walked over to the red liquid. With a finger, she retrieved a sample and tasted it. "It doesn't taste like blood," she proclaimed. "At least, I don't think so. And besides, the ghost meter is still not reading any thing."

"So what was it that got Duncan spooked?" Trent asked further. Seeking an answer, the two walked over to the window to get a better look at what the silhouette was. To their surprise, and later mild amusement, it was a cardboard music store standee of Céline Dion. "Guess he didn't really get over his fear of these after all."

* * *

"Loser!" Chris declared, pointing at Justin while he was catching he breath on the campgrounds. He then pointed at Beth. "Loser!" Seconds later, Duncan came running in, still displaying a sense of fear all over. "And loser! Looks like victory for the Killer Grips rests in the hands of Trent and Lindsay." The handsome host chuckle with glee.

"What the hell happened back there?" Justin complained in frustration. He focused all of his attention on Duncan. "I thought you were the horror expert, knowing every trick in the book."

"Oh, like you would have done any better," Duncan retorted as he tried to catch his breath. "You were the first one to skip out of there, pal. You're worse than a girl!"

"Some great leader you turned out to be," Beth declared, responding on behalf of Justin. "It's like all you do for the team is yell at us whenever we make what you perceive to be a mistake and take all the glory for yourself. You do nothing for the team, you do everything for you!"

"I may be selfish, but at least I recognize that," Duncan responded. "You, on the other hand, are so gullible as to let someone use you as a pawn. For a second time. You've just traded one bossy, deceiving pushover for another. The only difference is that this one has abs that make you quiver as soon as you see them."

"How dare you call Justin a deceiver!" Beth cried in anger. "He's nothing like Heather!"

"Open your eyes!" Duncan yelled. "Or at least clean the lenses of your glasses! You're being duped into helping him get to the finish and you will get nothing in return but humiliation!"

Beth was about the lunge at Duncan when she was held back by Chris. The handsome host, though, was laughing hysterically at what was happening.

"If it wasn't for the fact that we'd get hit with a lawsuit since you guys are technically no longer competing in a challenge, I'd let her go and see how'd she do," Chris noted in-between laughter.

* * *

"Okay, I sure was not expecting this," Gwen admitted, though the tone in her voice made it sound as though she was more impressed than shocked. "Lindsay ain't gonna budge since that ghost meter is not going off and Trent seems content to follow her as a result."

"In other words, we overcome one obstacle only to run into another," LeShawna summarized aloud. "This is turnin' out a lot harder than I thought it'd be."

"So what do we do now?" Bridgette asked. "How are we going to scare Lindsay and Trent out of the Craft Services Tent before dawn?"

"Hey, DJ!" Geoff announced, speaking as though he had an epiphany. "You've been real quiet lately, bra. Surely there are wheels turnin' in your head and all. Any ideas?"

DJ flinched with nervousness as all of the attention from his team was turned towards him. And he was hardly comfortable at having any more of a hand in participating in the challenge then he already had up to this point.

"I-I don't like scarin' people," DJ declared in a sheepish tone. "Momma says it's not gentlemanly and-" He was about to say more when he was rudely interrupted.

"Well, momma ain't here, is she?" LeShawna questioned firmly.

"Listen, DJ," Gwen started to say, looking to avoid having a highly unnecessarily drawn out process in an attempt to convince DJ to participate. "It's very late at night. However, we won't be able to go to bed unless we can scare Lindsay and Trent out of the Craft Services Tent. We need every possible idea we can come up with in order to achieve this. I know your mother told you it's not nice to scare people. But if we can't scare those two out of the tent, someone on our team is going home. And I know you are not comfortable with having to vote someone off as much as you not comfortable with scaring people. But we're all tired and none of us want to go home. Can you help us out?"

Seeing the look his teammates were giving him, DJ hung his head in defeat and let out a sigh.

* * *

"Do you have any twos?" Lindsay asked nervously. She and Trent continued to play cards, though they were hardly in any state of relaxation given all that has happened so far. It did not get any better when the lights were suddenly turned off.

Outside, Geoff nodded at his accomplishment for being responsible in pulling the switch to turn the lights off. He then activated a walkie-talkie and whispered into it. "Night has fallen," he quietly reported.

"Excellent work, Eclipse," DJ whispered back. He was reporting from a position where he could see into the Craft Services Tent without being spotted. "Foxxy Lady, you there?"

"Foxxy Lady at the ready," LeShawna reported back.

Back inside, Lindsay and Trent huddled as close as they were willing to around one of the ghost meters. They focused all of their attention on the electronic device.

"I-I think we're still good," Lindsay uttered nervously. "The ghost meter is still not picking up any thing."

Just then, a low moan was heard that made the two freeze in place. Then there was another low moan, one that sounded rather different from the other. Unbeknownst to them, these moans were being made by LeShawna and Gwen through the use of a megaphone. LeShawna was cycling through different types of moans while Gwen let out low, yet long moans.

Just then, a figure suddenly appeared within the Craft Services Tent. It swung in and out of view rapidly, causing Trent and Lindsay to flinch in horror. They could barely make out that the figure appeared to be wearing a police uniform and that its body had a nice curve. What they were not able to see was that it was Bridgette dressed in costume and her swinging about was controlled by Harold up in the rafters.

"That's a go for Magic Harold and his Charming Assistant," Harold whispered into his walkie-talkie.

"Okay, this is the part where I take off screaming," Trent managed to say to Lindsay. Within seconds, he bailed out of the tent screaming in a panic.

"Wait!" Lindsay cried. "The ghost meters still aren't going off!" When she looked up in the hopes of catching Trent before he exited, she did not see DJ timing his throw of a fork just right so that it would cause the ghost meter in her hand to go off. When it did, Lindsay dropped the electronic device and ran out screaming for her life. As she did so, she failed to notice LeShawna and Gwen standing just outside the entrance with smiles of accomplishment on their faces.

"And that's how we win it!" LeShawna declared before letting out a victorious cry.

"Thank goodness!" Bridgette stated, letting out a sigh of relief. "I've only been strapped to this thing for a few minutes and it's already causing me some painful aches." Her attention was suddenly placed upon a depressed looking DJ walking up to her. "DJ? Are you okay? DJ?"

When DJ looked up, he did not exactly see Bridgette. Instead, he had a sudden vision that he was facing his mother. And once again, she looked far from pleased with her son.

"Momma hates a cheater, Devon Joseph," the vision of his mother proclaimed. "I'm very disappointed you, Poopy-Doo." And in an instant, the vision disappeared and he instead say Bridgette still hanging with a confused look on her face.

"Something wrong?" the surfer girl asked.

* * *

Almost like a broken record, the Killer Grips were once again forced to sit through a painful sequence introducing them to the elimination ceremony otherwise known as the Gilded Chris Awards. Fortunately, they did not have to waste any time waiting for Chris in order to cast their votes as they did so just as he reached the podium.

"And now, Fraidy-Cat Grips," the handsome host announced. "It's time announce who will not win a Gilded Chris this week! Who deserves to go home bitterly disappointed, tears in their eyes?"

To the further disgust and horror of the contestants, Chef walked out in his sparkling pink dress with four Gilded Chris Awards in one arm. With the free hand, he handed Chris the note card containing the results of the voting.

"And the Gilded Chrises go to..." the handsome host resumed in his announcement. "Trent!" The music man was thrown an award by Chef. "Lindsay!" The blonde caught the one thrown to her. "Beth!" The brunette smiled with relief upon receiving hers. "Still on the chopping block... Duncan and Justin."

"Gee, what a surprise," Duncan noted sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"And the final Gilded Chris goes to..." Chris announced. Thus began the long, dramatic pause before he revealed who was staying, thus revealing who would be going. But after nearly a minute into the moment of silence, there was an unexpected interruption.

"Stop!" DJ cried out suddenly from seemingly out of nowhere. Everyone looked over to see the big man and the rest of the Screaming Gaffers on stage. His teammates were just as confused as to why he was doing what he was doing before he spoke again. "I'm gonna do what I should've done long ago. Make Momma proud. I'm voting myself off." This caught all of the other contestants by surprise. So much so that they could not properly react. Though someone else did.

"DJ!" Chef yelled in frustration. He quickly chuckled nervously and walked over to the younger big man. He spoke again, though in a quieter tone, hoping that no one else would listen. "Why don't you and I have a chat before you do anything stupid."

"No, Chef!" DJ declared, causing the older man to be taken aback. "I'm not listening to you any more." He then turned to the others, looking very guilty. "Chef and me, we had an illegal alliance." Everyone gasped much to their further surprise. Chef cracked a nervous grin, as if trying to look he had no idea what DJ was talking about. Only the younger big man continued. "He's been tutoring me in tough, coaching me through the challenges." Upon hearing these confessions, Chris looked far too pleased. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Chef. "I'll miss you all!"

As DJ's words began to sink in, someone made a startling revelation. "Whoa, wait a minute, bra!" Geoff cried. "All that delicious food we've been eatin' lately. The pizza, the cheesecake, the sandwiches. That's your cookin'?"

"Dude, you can't leave!" Duncan stated.

"Yeah!" Justin yelled in agreement. "Can't we just vote Chef off instead?" The male model ignored the glare he was receiving from Chef.

"Sorry," DJ responded. "But I gotta make it right. For Momma." While he hung his head in shame, such a noble and valiant decision was seemingly appreciated by the females as they all let out a loving aww.

* * *

DJ waved to everyone before stepping into the Lame-o-sine. It immediately took off, leaving the contestants crestfallen that someone as gentle and kindhearted as DJ was leaving in such fashion. They all then turned their attention to Chef, giving him hard, stern glares that were designed to burn though him. Chef did not so much care about what the contestants thought, but was more concerned about the glare Chris was giving him.

"So," the handsome host began to say. "Thought you could earn a few extra bucks on the side by trying to rig my challenges, huh?" Chef merely chuckled nervously in response. "Don't think you're gonna be let off easily." Chris then turned his attention to the camera, wearing a wicked grin on his face. "If you think I'm being harsh to the kiddies for no good reason, wait until you see what I do to those who cheat. Tune in next time to find out on Total... Drama... Action!"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Trent - "Even though he still fears those Céline Dion standees, Duncan's still much more reliable than Justin. Once again, he did virtually nothing to help out in the challenge. I'm starting to think Izzy was on to something about not trusting the guy."

Beth - "Duncan is a meany and he's just jealous that he can never be as good looking as Justin. It's the only logical explanation for him being so irrational."

Duncan - "Justin has got to go. He's gotten on my nerves almost as badly as Harold did. At least with Harold I hate his guts with respect. I have yet to see Justin do anything to earn my respect."

Justin - "Just when I think I can take it easy, someone else drops in to spoil the party. Duncan is the very personification of a punk and punk's have no business being anywhere near my presence. I have little doubt the girls will not let me down on this one."

Lindsay - "... Justin wants me to vote for Duncan. But... Duncan complimented the fact that I came up with a good idea in the challenge. And Justin was the first to leave the Craft Services Tent. What do I do?" /_Sighs._/ "I wish Tyler were here to help me decide."

* * *

Trent – Justin

Beth – Duncan

Duncan – Justin

Justin – Duncan

Lindsay – Justin

…

Justin – 3

Duncan – 2

…

Voted Off – Owen, Heather, Izzy, DJ (Withdrew)

* * *

Sure has been a long time since I last updated this story. A lot has been going on, generally things that have been happening in the real world. Other than that, there was a story that, for a while, had higher priority as that one I had not updated in years. Whoops. Thank the premiere of **Total Drama: Revenge of the Island** for getting my butt back into writing Total Drama stories, which I hope to update on a regular basis.

As you can see, there are some more noticeable differences between what I have written and what happened in the actual episode. Chief among them was how Lindsay displayed herself in stepping up. I toned it down because I felt she did not really need to be bossy when she had a supportive Trent and Duncan would be the one to aggressively garner the attention of the team. As for how I changed the kissing scene for the Killer Grips... well... why don't you tell me what you think.

**DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN THE REVIEWS!**

**Next Up:** Masters of Disasters


	9. Masters of Disasters

**Total Drama Action Redux**

a _Total Drama_ fan fiction story

by Lord Akiyama

* * *

**Author's Note:** This is an alternate universe story based around my idea of how the series would have gone. It begins from the episode _Alien Resurr-eggtion_ onward. Some elements are the same as in the show, but the rest is taken in a different direction.

_Total Drama_ and its characters are copyright © of Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network. This story was created purely out of sheer enjoyment so please don't sue. Or throw me off a thousand-foot high cliff into a shark-infested lake. That would so smarts.

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

Masters of Disasters

* * *

_(Narrated by Chris McLean)_

Last time on Total Drama Action…

The world's toughest chef used spoons to bring out DJ's killer instincts.

_(DJ - "This is not about right or wrong, son. It's about you and me winnin' that cool mil.")_

Forming an alliance with a contestant in order to increase a paycheck? Shame, shame.

It was time to spook the kiddies for real with some horror themed challenges. Having the fortunate ability of not being able to properly scream, Beth was chosen to be the masked serial killer and tried to scare the socks off the Screaming Gaffers. While she had success with Bridgette, thanks in part to their stage being set in a dark forest, she did not quite have a lot of luck with Geoff, who could not take her seriously while wearing pink sweat pants, nor could she even disturb Harold and LeShawna from their loving.

Trying to scare the bajeebeeies outta the Killer Grips would be DJ, since Gwen was pulled to make the playing field even both in numbers and because she knows horror films like the back of her hand. Trent couldn't be bothered to even act frightened while Lindsay lost it in the can. But then there was the pure joy of seeing Duncan have to lock lips with Justin. A scary sight indeed, if you were to ask either the juvenile delinquent or the male model. While they did end up screaming, it was no thanks to DJ as Chef was forced to make sure the Gaffers got the win.

The true challenge came when the Gaffers had until dawn to scare the Grips out of the Craft Services Tent. Lindsay surprised everyone by taking charge, earning the respect of her teammates. As if that wasn't enough, it would come down to her as to whether or not her team would achieve victory. But alas, Gwen gave DJ a stern pep talk that resulted in quite the spooky attraction to send Lindsay running for the hills.

Just as the Killer Grips were about to cut someone loose, DJ's conscience, aka Momma DJ, got the best of him. DJ called himself out as a cheater, hopped into the Lame-o-sine, and rode off into the sunset.

How will the contestants survive without DJ's gourmet cooking?

Was it coriander or tarragon he used in that casserole?

Discover all that and more in another thrilling, and filling, episode of…

TOTAL… DRAMA… ACTION!

_(Cue Theme Song)_

* * *

In the morning, the contestants gathered in the Craft Services Tent for breakfast. There was a sense of both anticipation and dread as to what they were about to discover. One thing was for sure, they were immediately in mourning. With DJ gone, they could no longer savor some of the most delicious food they had ever ingested throughout the horrible experience that was competing on this show for a million dollars. They were, however, curious to see if Chef Hatchet would be returning to cook their meals. After all, he had just been caught trying to help a contestant cheat their way to victory, or rather cheating against the contestant's will. And if Chef was not going to keep cooking their meals, who would be cooking them and how good was their cooking abilities.

Indeed, they entered the Craft Services Tent to find what appeared to be a man of Mexican origin in the kitchen. The new chef was wearing a beat-up sombrero, had a huge, bushy mustache under his nose, a white, dirty shirt with the sleeves rolled up past his elbows, and half a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He was whipping up something that engulfed the entire tent in smoke and heat. He also appeared to be speaking non-stop, as though he was engaged in some heavy argument with someone even though there was no one in particular he was speaking with. Covered in sweat and both cooking and speaking at such a speed that might put Izzy to shame, the contestants were too intimidated to retrieve their breakfast from him at first. When they finally mustered the courage to hold out their plates, it was covered in a mixture of beans, rice, tortillas, and a wide assortment of meat and condiments that at first look could not be identified. Harold was brave enough to take the first bite.

"Hmmm…" he managed to mutter as he continued to chew his food slowly. "Not too bad. More edible than Chef's cooking, yet still slightly revolting. I really miss DJ's cooking. It was completely awesome while this is… bizarre."

Sensing that they would not get anything better even if they complained, the others reluctantly began eating their breakfast. They had the same reaction as Harold. While certainly a better substitute than anything cooked by Chef, it was still something that quite frankly they did not find at all delicious. It was not even bland, just something that tasted really strange. Which made them concerned of what might happen to them later as a result of what they just ate.

"I can't tell which is meat and which is not," Bridgette noted, nearly gagging as she tried to pick her plate apart.

"Still not up to snuff compared to the slop they serve in juvie," Duncan muttered, slowly twirling his fork in the dish.

"Boy, am I glad I'm not wearing braces any more," Beth said with a sigh.

"I don't recall beans ever tasting like anchovies," Trent commented while he tried to chew some of his food.

"Why am I still puttin' up with this crap?" LeShawna questioned herself aloud as he examined her dish with a disgusted look on her face.

"I doubt Glutius Maximus Modeling would ever allow this to be part of my diet," Justin uttered, pushing the plate as far away from him as he could.

"It's so icky," Lindsay whined.

"Maybe there's a way to make it better, bras," Geoff stated before turning toward the kitchen. "Hey, uh… Señor Duderino! You got any guacamole we could use?"

The chef, who had continuously been arguing in Spanish to who knows who about who knows what, had now turned his attention to the party dude. It was as though he had been arguing to Geoff the whole time, though no one in the tent could understand a single lick of what he was saying. They were not even sure if he was going to stop talking at all. This appeared to be the case as he continued to argue profusely before picking something up and then launching it into Geoff's face. The chef then returned to his cooking, and seemingly returned to arguing to nothingness. Geoff rubbed the spot on his forehead that got hit before looking down at a hand-sized bowl that apparently contained guacamole. Although it did not look anything like the guacamole they were used to.

"I don't recall guacamole ever being purple," Gwen noted with a brow raised in confusion.

"Are we even sure that is guacamole?" Harold asked curiously.

"You even sure you wanna taste that?" LeShawna asked Geoff with concern.

"I guess I could do without breakfast," Geoff proclaimed sheepishly as he placed the bowl onto the table and leaned away from it.

"Man, this bites," Duncan declared. "It's like Chris wants us to suffer at all times throughout the show, even when we're eating. It's like getting even a decent meal would be too luxurious to cater."

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Geoff - "This is so whacked, man. If I didn't know any better, I'd say they were looking for the craziest cats they could find and putting them on the show. How else do you explain the dude they brought in to replace Chef as our chef?"

LeShawna - /_Holds stomach and moans._/ "Oh boy. I knew I shouldn't have had anythin' that guy was servin'. One bite was bad enough. Beans are as bad for me as dairy. But I think havin' had two bites is gonna cause me some problems. I'm talkin' Owen-like problems. Just hope it doesn't happen at a bad time."

Chris - "For your information, I had no say in the hiring of the new chef. Since I was the one to convince the producers to bring Chef Hatchet on board in the first place, they figured the replacement I would consider might also demand a bigger paycheck. So they went with someone who'd work for cheap. One dollar a day cheap."

* * *

"Oh, I just hate how unhealthy all these dishes have been," Bridgette sighed as she finally pushed her dish away. "Does Chris have something against vegetarians?"

"He likes to consider himself an equal opportunist," Gwen started to say in response. "Which means he tortures everyone equally. From the vegetarians to the medically incapable to the juvenile delinquent. No one is left unscathed."

"And here I thought he would be a nice guy," Justin murmured sarcastically.

"Good morning, victims!" Chris announced, as if on cue, as he entered the tent. He was treated with the expected glares from the contestants as one would have with the way he presented himself and what he called them. "Hope you kiddies have been enjoying the delicacy made by Ricardo Balbone Montez de la Vasquez Asa Loca."

"Not really," Duncan answered unabashedly.

"I could hardly call this a delicacy," Harold said. "More like bad tasting dog food mixed with toxic cat food."

"Gee, thanks for that illuminating description of our slop," Gwen noted with a scornful look on her face.

"What is it exactly that we're supposed to be eating?" Trent asked curiously.

"Didn't you bother to ask the chef?" Chris questioned in response.

"Dude, we don't even know what he's saying," Geoff answered.

"And I highly doubt what he's saying is actual, coherent Spanish," Justin added.

"In fact, he's been talking non-stop," Beth stated. "Like he's in the middle of arguing with someone, only there is no one else there."

"Yeah," Chris slyly uttered. "He's been like that ever since we found him by the side of the road. But not to worry, folks. You won't be holding onto your lunch much longer." He let out a rather sinister sounding chuckle.

"But we're still on breakfast," Lindsay said. "How can we be holding onto our lunch when it's not even noon yet?"

"I believe Chris was speaking figuratively about the possibility of us throwing up very shortly," Trent explained.

"Really?" Lindsay questioned in shock. Then she gagged. "Gross!"

"And exactly what torture have you concocted for us today?" Duncan asked, wanting to get over whatever it was that was about to happen.

"Oh, nothing," Chris replied with a nonchalant-looking shrug. "Just that your day will be total disaster! Get it? It's a disaster movie theme. You know? Like in disaster flicks? People running for their lives from volcanos, earthquakes, astroids, tidal waves. The more disastrous, the better!" A gleeful smile painted his face while many of the contestants were far from happy about what the challenge was going to be based around. In fact, they were quite mortified.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Lindsay - /_Holds a lock of hair._/ "My hair is already a total disaster! It's been three weeks since I had a trim. Split-ends city! How much worse could it get?"

Bridgette - "I guess I wouldn't mind encountering a tidal wave. Might actually be fun. But everything else sound like land-based disasters. And everyone knows by now that I'm just not that coordinated on land like the others. Oh, I just really hate being on this show sometimes. Between the awful food and the awful challenges and the awful host, it's a wonder why I even bother."

Duncan - "Disaster movies, eh? Well, looks like pretty boy better watch his face. Cause he's gonna be one helluva moving target out there."

Justin - "Chris just had to make this challenge based on disaster films. Where my body will be on the line throughout!" /_Sighs._/ "I will just have to do my best to avoid getting hit, even though every inch of my body is insured. But if Duncan tries anything funny in an attempt to mess up my handsome face, he is so going to pay. And pay dearly he will."

* * *

"Your first challenge is… the Earthquake of Inevitable Pain!" Chris announced, directing the contestants to an obstacle course that had been constructed once everyone was outside. With the way it was built, it made everyone concerned that it was hardly the safest thing in the world to be going through. "Each team has to run the course, challenging your dexterity, maneuverability, and other mad monkey skills. First team to the top wins. Best out of two earn today's reward while the losers have to send someone home via the Lame-o-sine."

"Best of two?" Gwen asked with a brow raised.

"Best of the two teams, get it?" Chris responded with a laugh. No one else was laughing. He did not care. "Any way, enough with the chitty-chat. Take your marks."

* * *

The contestants gathered into their respective groups, trying to mentally psyche themselves and physically prepare for the challenge ahead. LeShawna jogged in place to get her blood flowing while Duncan cracked his knuckles and Trent stretched out his legs. Gwen, Harold, and Justin each tried to survey the obstacle course as best as they could to better map out their strategy once the challenge began.

"This will be a cinch, dudes," Geoff stated confidently.

"I can't wait to swing on the monkey bars," Beth proclaimed with great enthusiasm.

"And… action!" Chris declared, blowing on the air horn to start the challenge.

The two teams were off and running. It seemed that everyone's concern about the challenge began to subside now that they had a better look at what they were dealing with. The obstacle course no longer seemed to be that intimidating. Rather, it was just a series of tires to run over, monkey bars to swing around in, and cross beams any one of them could balance upon with ease. If they did not know any better, they would say that this would perhaps be a walk in the park.

"How easy is this?" Lindsay cried with joy as she ran over the first set of tires without any sort of calamity occurring. Little did she realize how badly she would jinx the whole situation.

"Are you ready to rock?" Chris cried as though he was a rock 'n' roll singer. After letting out a wild laugh, he pulled a leaver and the obstacle course began to move and shake. With each passing moment, the movements and the shaking became faster and more violent. Mimicking the effects, and more so, of an earthquake.

Once the shaking had begun, Justin immediately fell backwards just as he was running through a set of tires. Upon landing on one of the tires, he suddenly found himself being fallen upon. After letting out a painful groan, he looked up to find that it was Duncan who had fallen onto him, causing him to groan some more in disgust.

"You break any part of my body, you buy it," Justin warned, seething through his teeth.

"Oh, I'm sure your body is worth millions more than what it really is," Duncan muttered sarcastically. "Zilch!"

As expected, Bridgette did not do well on land and found herself falling almost immediately. Geoff tried to catch her, but he instead crashed into a bunch of orange cones. When the two tried to at the very least get to their knees, both were quite surprised to find two cones sticking to Geoff, almost as though they were bra cones covering his chest. Gwen and Trent managed to maintain as much balance as possible under the circumstances as both made their way to the monkey bars. They would soon find that the earthquake was only the beginning of the disaster that was in store for all of the contestants.

"I believe now would be the perfect time to great rid of some old junk," Chris stated with a snigger.

He then looked over to the two hired hands, both of whom were presumably of Mexican origin just like the replacement chef, and gave them the thumbs up. Seconds later, both men began throwing various objects from the top of the course and down onto the contestants below. One of them threw a football that connected against Harold, who was swinging on the monkey bars with LeShawna. The impact of being hit by the ball caused Harold to fly back into LeShawna and both ended up dropping hard onto the ground.

"Ow!" Harold cried. "My right kidney!"

"Keep it going, amigos," Chris said to the hired hands.

Indeed, the Mexican helpers were throwing any thing that they could get their hands on. Be it a bathroom sink or a bowling ball, a hammer or an old telephone, they threw them all. One found a rubber ducky in the satchel they were digging into and squeezed it a couple times to hear it squeak. After a shrug, he threw it as hard as he could. The rubber ducky managed to connect, albeit lightly, against Justin's face.

"Ah!" the male model screamed as he paused on the monkey bars. "My precious cheekbones!"

It was then that, rather to the surprise of the contestants, Chris pulled the leaver and brought the course to a steady halt from all of the shaking and moving.

"Finally, a break!" Beth exhaled with relief.

"Aftershock!" Chris suddenly announced. With a laugh, he pulled the leaver again and the course was now shaking and moving much worse than it had been previously.

Lindsay found herself tumbling backwards through a set of tires. When she managed to drop into a position that would keep her from rolling any further, she started to moan. Motion sickness was kicking in. Seconds later, she was hurling against her will as the contents of her stomach were emptied through her mouth.

"Ewww!" she cried upon seeing what had just happened. "I think I threw up yesterday's lunch!"

"Oh yeah, that reminds me," Chris noted, scratching his chin after gleefully witnessing Lindsay puke. "It's lava time!"

He pressed a button at the control station and a mechanism was sounded at the top of the course. Seconds later, a river of molting hot red liquid began pouring down toward the contestants. What they did not know was that the liquid was super heated tomato soup, but it might as well be lava given the way it was slightly burning the obstacle course. Those that were on the monkey bars lifted their legs up to avoid making contact while those with their feet grounded looked for places they could stand upon without getting scorched.

"Woo-wee!" Chris called out, mockingly fanning himself. "Is it getting hot in here? How about a cool, refreshing… hailstorm!" He laughed as he jumped onto what appeared to be a retrofitted tennis ball launcher designed to act like a gun torrent. Instead of tennis balls, golf balls were loaded and ready to be fired at rapid pace and speed toward the contestants on the course. "Golf ball sized hail is bad. But hail sized golf balls are even worse!"

The contestants found themselves trapped between a rock and a hard place. There was boiling hot red liquid running down the course while Chris started to unload upon then with golf balls that did more than just sting. It caused so much pain and damage to their bodies. They could do little else but scream in terror as they tried to avoid both disasters as much as they could with little success.

"No!" Justin cried when he saw that Chris was aiming towards him. "Not the face!"

Chris merely grinned and showed no mercy.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Justin - /_Bruised from head to toe, sporting a black eye._/ "I give up! There's no way I'll get that skin care endorsement line now!" /_Rubs face and hisses in pain._/ "Oh, not so silky smooth!"

* * *

Chris chuckled as he continued to fire upon the contestants. Then his grin grew wider when he paused just briefly to pull up a button switch in hand.

"After-Aftershock!" he announced, pressing the button.

The ground was now shaking and moving so violently that it was starting to split open and fall apart. Bridgette screamed as she fell into one of the newly created openings, but Geoff was quick enough to catch the surfer girl and pull her back up while keeping himself in a bridge over the gap. His strength was tested further when both LeShawna and Harold landed square upon his back.

"I can't breathe!" Geoff managed to gasp in pain.

"That better not be a knock on my weight," LeShawna huffed in annoyance.

"Argue later," Gwen stated as she started helping the others back onto their feet beginning with Harold. "We need to get moving before the Grips get too far ahead of us."

"Guess we can put to rest thinking this would be an easy win for us just because we're the most athletically capable left on the show," Bridgette muttered in an attempt at a joke while pulling herself back up onto the course proper.

"Like hell I'm gonna accept defeat," LeShawna proclaimed once Gwen pulled her off of Geoff's back. "Come on, now! Let's get the win while there's still a chance." Before Gwen could even help Geoff back onto his feet, LeShawna took off to catch up with the Killer Grips. Harold followed behind before the other three finally got their balance to rejoin the competition.

While the Grips had the lead, they were beginning to slow down as they cautiously crossed over one of two makeshift bridges that were each a tree positioned over a deep gap. This was largely because the tree would roll ever slightly to either side and Chris was still firing golf balls at them. Their decreasing in speed allowed for the Screaming Gaffers to catch up, but they chose to ignore patience over immediate victory. The golf balls were enough to knock Harold off of the tree and into the gap.

"Ouch!" Geoff cried as he was hit numerous times with golf balls. "Shouldn't someone be yelling four?"

"Four!" Chris yelled mockingly. He started to laugh until he suddenly found that he was out of golf balls to fire.

"Hey, it stopped!" Beth declared, stating the obvious. This allowed for the Killer Grips to start increasing their speed a little going over their tree bridge.

"Muchachos!" Chris called out to the Mexican hired help at the top of the course. "Might wanna rain debris down upon them like you're supposed to do!"

The two hired hands did as they were told, once again throwing whatever they could get their hands on at the contestants, who were getting closer and closer to the top. One of them managed to connect with a potted plant at LeShawna, knocking her off of the tree and into the gap. The Killer Grips were having a better time dodging the incoming projectiles as they started making their way over the last obstacle on the course, which was a thirty-foot high wall with no rope support and hardly on an incline.

"Hang on, team!" Trent cried as they all individually scaled the wall. "We're almost there!"

"We're, like, actually going to beat the Screaming Gaffers!" Beth cheered as she neared the top.

"How awesome is that?" Lindsay added as she pulled herself over the top of the wall.

"I wouldn't celebrate yet until everyone's over the wall!" Duncan yelled as he completed the course first. He then looked over and, to no surprise at all, Justin was not necessarily putting a lot of effort into getting over the wall as quickly as possible. "Hey, pretty boy! How about trying to get your insured butt over the wall before the other team flies past you?"

"Can't you see the welts all over my beautiful body?" Justin questioned back in both anguish and anger. "There is so much pain running through me that I can barely move a muscle."

"That's a load of crap and you know it!" Duncan responded in frustration. "You're gonna experience what pain is really like thanks to me if you don't climb over that wall right now, buddy!"

"Come on, dude!" Trent called out to Justin from the top of the wall. "It's down to you to make it over this wall so we can win!"

"Go Justin!" Beth cheered as she and Lindsay joined Duncan at the finish line.

"I am giving it my all, really," Justin stated, hardly putting any effort into at least making a start to ascend the wall. "But I'm losing strength with every passing second." As if on cue, the Screaming Gaffers were starting their climb over the thirty-foot high wall and easily overtaking Justin in speed. All the while, the male model appeared as though he did not care one way or another that all it took was for him to get over the wall before one other member of the opposing team for the Killer Grips to win.

"I am not losing again on account of She-Man!" Duncan growled. Without anyone else noticing, Duncan reached over into one of the satchels being used by the helping hands. He pulled a random item out and threw it very hard at the first Screaming Gaffer he saw climbing over the wall.

Harold did not see it coming when the object that Duncan threw smashed into his face. He was sent flying right off of the wall and slamming back first onto one of the tree bridges. He ended up bouncing off of the tree and down into the gap that he was positioned over. The other contestants, his teammates in particular, became genuinely concerned when there was dead silence following his fall.

"Harold!" LeShawna cried, jumping down from the wall and rushing over to the gap. "Baby, are you alright?" There was still no answer, which started to frighten her. She was not the only one who became extremely worried as both Bridgette and Geoff immediately jumped off the wall and into the gap to check on their teammate while Gwen merely jumped down from the wall and rushed over to console her friend. During all of this, Justin finally managed to hoist himself over the wall and join his team at the finish line.

"What did you do?" Trent questioned Duncan in utterly disbelief.

"Pretty boy sure as hell wasn't motivated to move any faster than he wanted to," Duncan explained in reply. "So I wanted to make sure the other team didn't get to take advantage of it."

"What was it that you threw any way?" Lindsay asked curiously.

"I think it's a book," Beth replied as she bent down to pick up the object in question. "It says, _Cookin' Bullets: My Five-Star Life as a Five-Star Drill Sergeant and a Five-Star Cook by Chef Hatchet_. This is Chef's unpublished memoir. And it's over fifty thousand pages long!"

"That's sure to make him a five-star nut-bag," Duncan commented, crossing his arms over his chest.

"He's unconscious!" Bridgette announced from the gap. "He needs serious medical attention! He might also have a concussion with the way he was hit in the face!"

"Well, that's just peachy," Chris said with a groan as he walked up to the top of the obstacle course casually. "If there's one thing I hate more than whiny teenagers crying about getting injured is when those same whiny teenagers actually do get injured enough to require a trip to the hospital."

"You think this is funny?" Gwen questioned sternly.

"On the contrary, I think it absolutely sucks," Chris replied. As he spoke, an ambulance truck rolled up and the emergency medical technicians jumped out and down into the gap to begin retrieving Harold. "It's one thing when I'm running you kiddies through a gauntlet of torture so as to physically, mentally, and emotionally scar you for the rest of your lives. But there is a fine line that even I draw. Having to pull a contestant from a challenge on account of them getting legitimately concussed is a real drag, man. That's because the producers and I have to front the payments to get them back on their feet medically. Which is exactly the case with Harold."

"But you are gonna make sure he'll be okay, right?" LeShawna asked. There was a mixture of panic for the well-being of boyfriend and anger toward Chris for his possible indifference when she spoke.

"He'll be fine," Chris answered as the EMTs managed to carry Harold, who was now placed in a stretcher and was wearing a neck-brace, out of the gap and load him into the ambulance truck. "But I doubt he'll be cleared to return for the rest of the day. So you Screaming Gaffers are gonna have to be a man down for the next challenge. The good news is that at least Harold won you the first challenge." The Screaming Gaffers gasped in shock upon hearing this while the Killer Grips were utterly aghast.

"But we got our whole team across the finish line," Beth noted in argument.

"Serious injury trumps all," Chris stated. "Besides, I think it's only fair given it was Duncan who concussed Harold in the first place by throwing Chef's book at him when he technically wasn't supposed to."

"I… am going… to kill you!" LeShawna raged as she marched toward the juvenile delinquent with fire in her eyes. It took the combined efforts of her remaining teammates along with Trent to keep her from getting within arms reach of Duncan. A tinge of concern actually appeared on his face upon seeing her the way she was.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

LeShawna - /_Fuming._/ "He done gone and done it now! That punk is gonna get what he deserves when this is over! He gonna wish he was never born when I'm through with him! I can promise you that!"

Duncan - "I gotta be real, man. I actually felt bad for knocking dork boy this time around. Only because I wasn't intentionally going after him like I usually am. I mean, it could have just as easily been Geoff or Gwen that got hit instead of him. All because pretty boy wouldn't move his behind like he was supposed to. But don't take this mean to I won't stop messing with Harold next time I get the chance. He's still gotta pay for what he did to my Princess. I'm just really sorry and bummed about what I did to him just now."

* * *

Chris had the remaining contestants gather on what appeared to be a harbor pier near a large body of water on set. Hanging beside them over the water was a gigantic submarine with two inflated rafts positioned underneath it. None of the contestants seemed thrilled about what challenge they were about to partake in. Then again, they were not even concerned about what was going to happen to them as they were over the condition of Harold.

"How's Harold doin'?" LeShawna asked in a worried tone.

"Oh, he's fine," Chris answered, though the tone of his voice came off as seemingly nonchalant about the whole ordeal. "Heard he regained consciousness and are now running tests to see if he's got a concussion, and if so how serious. Like I said, don't expect him to be back by the end of the day."

"And you are fronting the medical costs to make sure he's really fine before trying to bring him back to torture him some more, right?" Gwen questioned with a suspicious brow raised.

"Thanks for reminding me," Chris replied sternly through gritted teeth.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Gwen - /_Holds up contract._/ "I wanted to make absolutely sure that Chris and the producers were going to be paying for the bills, so I double checked the contract. Let's see him try to weasel his way out of this one."

Chris - /_Miffed._/ "So this is what it feels like when a contract comes back to bite you."

* * *

"Alright," Chris began to announce, hoping to bring the attention back to the challenge at hand. To ensure this, all of the contestants were in the rafts below the submarine and placed within their respective groups. "Now it's time for the second disaster theme challenge! Who's excited?" There was no response from the contestants. The only sound that was being made was from the crickets that were about. Chris ignored the silent treatment and continued by pulling out a piece of paper. "Because of Harold's win, the Gaffers have the advantage of getting this handy dandy piece of paper for the second disaster challenge."

The handsome host started to mess around with the paper, seemingly crumpling it up, until he successfully turned it into a paper airplane and threw it at the Screaming Gaffers. After doing a loop in mid-air, it finally arrived into the hands of its intended receivers. Rather, it smacked into Geoff's face head on before it fell into his hand so that he could open it up and examine the contents within.

"So how is this an advantage, bra?" Geoff asked curiously. "It's just a buncha numbers and stuff."

"Perhaps it could be a lock combination," Bridgette suggested as she got a look at the paper when it was passed around within the team.

"Since there's also an uneven number of contestants, we need to level the playing field a little," Chris further announced. He pulled out a rope and tossed it over to the Killer Grips. "Since Duncan was responsible for said unevenness, he will have to be tied up from his neck down to his ankles at the start of the challenge. And for the Grips to achieve complete victory, he needs to be freed from his rope prison."

"Gee, why am I not surprised?" Duncan groaned as he picked up the rope to examine its length before handing it off Trent to tie him up, not trusting any of the others to do it properly.

"Okay, time to get inside!" Chris announced, pointing the contestants at the submarine above them and wanting to rush the challenge into starting.

"Are you crazy?" Justin questioned firmly. "I'm not getting in that tin-can! It's all cold and damp and really creepy. Who knows what it might do to my sensitive complexion?"

"Not even for a million dollars?" Chris asked back in an enticing tone.

Justin paused for a moment before crossing his arms over his chest. "There better be carpet in there," he muttered under his breath.

* * *

There certainly was not any carpet to be found once the contestants were inside the submarine. Each team was placed in their own similar looking compartment that barely had enough room for them to move in. There were two hatches per compartment, one on top and the other on bottom. A speaker was placed in the corner along with what appeared to be a red light bulb that was not active and numerous pipes that ran about over every inch of the ceiling.

"I don't like this," LeShawna stated. "Not one lil' bit."

Suddenly, horns were sounded through the speaker followed by the red light flashing. Both the horn and the light turned on and off at an even pace. The sound of the horn echoed loudly in the small compartments, causing each contestant's ears to ring. The red light flooded the room into appearing as the exact one color whenever it was active for the brief period of time. It made everyone feel extremely uncomfortable and even a little scared of what was going to happen in a moment's time.

"What's going on?" Justin asked aloud in a panic.

"Who cares?" Beth responded. Justin looked down to notice that she was not only seemingly relaxed despite what was going on, but that she was embracing him in a dream-like state. "I could stay like this all day."

The horns sounding and the flashing of the red light began to cease. The speaker was still active, only this time it was the voice of their sadistic host that came out of it.

"For this challenge, you've gotta get out before it's too late," Chris announced. Unbeknownst to the contestants, there were hidden cameras placed within the compartments so that the handsome host could see every second that was happening to them from a control room.

"Too late?" Bridgette repeated nervously. "Too late for what?"

"Oh, you'll find out," Chris replied simply. He followed with a chuckle that did nothing to ease the tension that was building within both compartments. "Remember Killer Grips, you need to untie Duncan first before you can completely finish the challenge." He then pulled a leaver, thereby starting the challenge without actually telling the contestants.

Both teams watched helplessly as water suddenly started pouring into the respective compartments at the same time. Be it spraying out of badly covered leaks or from holes that were conveniently placed on the walls, the water was coming in and it seemed that it would not be stopping anytime soon. Thus there were able to figure out instantly that their challenge was to find an escape before both compartments were flooded.

"What is that?" Justin cried in a panic. He flinched and stood on one tip-toe, hoping that the water would not touch any part of his body.

"It's called water, twinkle toes," Duncan answered in annoyance. "It's what you drink when you're thirty, pour over your body in a shower. But too much of that stuff gets in your lungs and you drown. Now how about you stop acting like a girl for a change and untie me so we can get the hell outta this death-trap!"

* * *

"Geez, this water is cold," Geoff noted with a shiver. "Doesn't help that its too dark to see anything."

"Gimmie a second and I can figure out which is where," Gwen said. "My eyes are pretty good at adjusting to darkness. I've managed to develop some good night vision."

"Well, that night vision better hurry up and kick in, girl," LeShawna cried. "This water's pouring in faster than one of them monster trucks guzzles gas."

* * *

"I don't wanna feel like I'm rushing you guys, but the water has now reached our knees and it's taking the lot of you a lot longer to untie me than it should," Duncan complained while the others were suddenly experiencing great difficulty in trying to release him from his rope prison.

"Well, I'm sorry that we don't have great vision in the dark like you say you do," Trent noted in a grumble. "But we're moving as fast as we can under the circumstances."

"You know, we wouldn't be stuck in this predicament if you had not thrown Chef's memoir at Harold, thereby costing us the win and forcing you to be tied up," Justin stated with a groan.

"I wouldn't have needed to throw anything to keep the other team from gaining ground if you had just given some sort of effort to move your butt up the wall in the first place," Duncan retorted in frustration.

"Must you always have to come up with an excuse to blame everything on Justin?" Beth questioned harshly.

"I don't need an excuse," Duncan responded firmly. "Pretty boy does squat for the team, and that's why we have only won one challenge the entire competition."

"There you go again, not accepting responsibility for your own faults and placing them on others," Beth said.

"For your information, I do accept responsibility for my own faults," Duncan explained. "Because I will actually do something while other people like your precious Justin just sit back and complain how they shouldn't be doing anything because it would cause a speck of dirt to get on their skin."

"Will you guys please shut up?" Trent yelled, having finally lost patience with all of the in-fighting that was going on with the team. The others stared at him in a bit of surprise, having never seen Trent ever appear as frustrated as he was at the moment. Then he sternly turned to each person of the team when he next spoke. "Duncan, stop criticizing every little thing that someone does wrong. Justin, stop complaining about how all this physical activity will effect your modeling career. Beth, stop trying to defend Justin unconsciously just because you have a crush on him. Lindsay…" He paused for a moment while the blue-eyed blonde looked at him, wondering what he was going to say to her. "Lindsay, keep up the good work."

"Ah, thank you," Lindsay responded happily.

"Look, everyone just stop bickering and actually contribute some effort to winning for a change," Trent demanded. "Even Izzy was willing to set aside whatever would be on her mind, crazy or not, for the sake of helping the team. How else were we even able to get that only win of ours at all? Can we please put away our differences and find the will to work together on these challenges so that we could possibly get one more victory?"

The other four took a brief moment to let Trent's words sink in. Of everyone within the group, he was generally the least selfish and was putting his own self interests aside for the sake of the team. Only none of the others were exactly doing the same in return, except for Lindsay in a small sense. Feeling quite guilty for having let someone commit so much and gotten so little, they all silently agreed to at least give it a go as a team. Seconds later, everyone went back to working hard to untie Duncan as the water continued to rise.

* * *

"These should help," Gwen proclaimed, pulling flashlights out of a box she had found. Checking to make sure that they would actually turn on, she then proceeded to toss one to each of her teammates. "Now that we can all see what's around us, let's figure out how we're gonna get outta here."

"About time, too," LeShawna said, letting out a slight moan. "All this damp and wetness is startin' to get to me for some reason." She was taking heavy breaths and holding her stomach. At first glance, it would seem as though she was about ready to blow chunks at any moment.

"You okay there, LeShawna?" Gwen asked curiously.

"I think my stomach ain't agreein' with the breakfast we ate this mornin'," LeShawna stated in reply, still moaning slightly.

"Just hang in there, okay," Gwen said, placing a reassuring hand on her friend's shoulder. "We'll be outta here before you know it."

"Check it out, dudettes," Geoff called out. "We got two hatches here. One up top and one on bottom."

"Looks like the bottom has a combination lock," Bridgette observed aloud. She immediately realized something as she snapped her fingers. "Schmoopy-Boo, that sheet of paper you have that Chris gave us. I think those might be the numbers to unlock the hatch."

"You're right!" Geoff said, smiling as he fished into his pockets to pull out the paper. "You're so smart, Schmoopy-Schmoo."

He was just about to take a look at the paper in hand when something strange happened. A seemingly violent sounding noise was heard, roughly similar to that of metal being crushed onto itself. It lasted for a good moment and left everyone silent until they were sure that the sound had gone completely. Geoff would be the first to speak up.

"Dude, who ripped one?" he asked rather casually.

"Geoff!" Bridgette cried sternly. "How can you say something so disgusting at a time like this?"

"Seriously, babe," Geoff responded, as if he needed to defend himself. "It's starting to smell."

Bridgette was about retort when she stopped herself short. Apparently she needed to sniff a couple times, wanting to make sure that she was indeed smelling what she thought she was smelling. Geoff had been right all along. "Oh my," she gasped, trying to cover her nose as best as she could. "It's starting to reek in here."

"I'm really sorry, guys," LeShawna muttered though a moan. "I should not have ate them beans. My stomach never could agree with them." For a moment, the others were rather surprised that it was LeShawna who had been the one responsible for what just happened. But none of them wanted to dwell on it any further and refocused themselves on the task at hand. Even when a fog of green was slowly beginning to appear before them.

"Let's just get that hatch open, okay?" Gwen gagged, covering her nose and squinting so as not to be visually overwhelmed by the fog.

"Right," Bridgette agreed before turning her attention to Geoff. "Can you read off the numbers to me, sweetie?"

"Sure thing," Geoff replied. He looked down at the paper and suddenly gasped in horror. "No way! The numbers! They're melting!"

"You're kidding me," Gwen gasped in disbelief.

"I'm telling you, they're melting!" Geoff cried. He then held up the paper for the others to see. "Check it out!" Sure enough, the girls could see that the ink on the paper was running, leaving no evidence that numbers had been there.

"Okay, even I didn't know my gas could do that," LeShawna noted in amazement.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Bridgette - "LeShawna is such a dear friend and for her to be able to… release something that bad… it makes me feel really bad for her."

Gwen - "I'm not gonna spew the crap that girls don't fart. But man did I ever wish that was the case after the one LeShawna let loose. I feel bad for her and all, but man was that something I really did not need to experience."

Geoff - "Sometimes in a party, me and the other dudes will get so wild that we'd have farting contests. I think LeShawna would've put all my buds to shame with the one she ripped."

LeShawna - /_Looking depressed and sighs._/ "Definitely not one of my proudest… attributes. It's why I try to avoid beans at all costs."

* * *

"Okay, so we're looking at two possible outs," Duncan commented aloud. Once they had successfully untied him, he was able to locate the box that contained flashlights and they all used them to search for a way out of the flooding room. "There's a hatch at the bottom that has a combination lock on it and then there's a hatch up above that requires us to simply turn the latch."

"Let's assume the paper that Chris gave the Screaming Gaffers has the numbers to the combination lock," Trent suggested. "Knowing Chris, he probably had them set up in a complicated order that is going to take them time to figure out. So that means if we want to beat them, we have to get through the hatch above."

"So how are we gonna reach the top hatch?" Beth asked. "It too high for any of us to reach."

"Maybe I could sit on your shoulders and then I could reach it," Lindsay suggested.

"That necessarily wouldn't do," Duncan noted. "But its an idea we can modify. I'll sit on Justin's shoulders and Trent can sit on mine. Then he'll be high enough to reach the hatch."

"You expect me to just stand here and manage to support both of your weights on my shoulders?" Justin asked sternly.

"If you have any better ideas, I'm all ears," Duncan retorted.

Justin made no immediately response. After a moment, he let out a heavy sigh and positioned himself to take the weight that was about to be placed upon his shoulders. Duncan climbed up first, causing the male model to grunt slightly. Then Trent climbed up to sit on Duncan shoulders, causing Justin to let out a heavy groan and Duncan a slight grunt.

"Just give me one second…" Trent said through gritted teeth as she turned the wheel latch to open the hatch. Once he had it open, water poured down out of the hatch, causing the room to fill up to Duncan's chest. When the water had ceased pouring out, a shark's head appeared before them, bearing its teeth. Trent immediately closed the catch back up and locked it tight. "No good. Any other ideas?"

* * *

Bridgette sat on Geoff's shoulders. Sitting on Bridgette's shoulders was Gwen. She was now making an attempt at opening the hatch at the top of the room since they no longer had the advantage of having the numbers needed to tackle the combination lock on the hatch below. Gwen struggled to turn the wheel latch just enough to get the hatch open.

"I got it!" Gwen announced as she managed to open the hatch. Water poured down into the room from the hatch, causing the room to fill up to Bridgette's chest. When the water had ceased pouring out, fire shot out. Combined with the gas that LeShawna had let out moments ago, Gwen quickly closed the hatch and locked it before it could ignite the room. "Nope! No good. Any other ideas?" Gwen dipped slightly before finding herself floating in the rising water. Bridgette and Geoff then surfaced, followed by LeShawna. They looked over at LeShawna, noticing that her hair had puffed out into a giant afro again.

"Did I mention I don't like water," LeShawna stated in a panic. "Cause I don't! Not a fan!"

* * *

"Fire, huh?" Chris noted with concern as he watched the monitors in the control room. He turned to face the Mexican hired help. "Don't'cha think that's a bit much?"

The response he got was not necessarily directed towards him. In fact, it seemed like the two hired hands did not register his presence at all. They were too busy arguing among themselves in Spanish at a rapid speed and pace. Or perhaps they were not arguing with each other and were instead arguing with the Mexican chef, who had joined in on the conversation suddenly for seemingly no apparent reason.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Chris - "M'kay, seriously. These guys are so not working out. I mean, I get the producers went with them so they could save money, and I'm all for cutting corners. But even I'm seeing that this is getting way too outta hand. Although I wouldn't mind keeping Ricardo Balbone Montez de la Vasquez Asa Loca, I think it's time we got some more competent type of help."

* * *

"Really, it might be time to end the challenge," Chris announced aloud. From watching the monitors, he could see that the water was now rising at a dangerous level in both compartments. "The water's getting pretty high and, uh… those kids are terrible swimmers. Well, except Bridgette, but that's besides the point." It looked as though he was still trying to speak to the Mexicans, but to no avail as they continued to argue amongst themselves. "Okay, this is getting serious. Guess I'm gonna have to turn off the water." He reached down to pull the leaver, only for it to snap off as soon as he gripped it.

"Oh boy…" he muttered quietly. He threw the broken leaver piece over his shoulder and immediately pulled out a cell phone and pressed a speed dial button. "Y'ello. Yeah, it's me. We got a problem. Yeah, those hired hands kinda goofed up with the way they installed everything for the challenge. Basically, the kids are trapped and there's no way to stop the water from flooding the rooms entirely."

He paused as he listened to the producers respond on the other end of the line.

"They're not doing any thing," Chris said. "They're just arguing with the chef. I mean, I like the chef, but it's not his job to help out with the challenges. But the other two don't even realize the danger the kids are in and even if they did they wouldn't be able to open the hatches to let them out."

He paused again to listen to the response.

"Well, I can think of only one person who could help us out on such short notice," he said. "But that would require you guys to have to pay him the extra money he's been demanding. And at this point, I'm inclined to give him what he wants. After all, if these kids die, having to try to negotiate his pay as opposed to hiring cheap labor will be the least of our financial concern once the families sue for negligent homicide."

* * *

"Okay, this is really getting out of control," Justin stated in a panic. "Surely they would turn off the water by now. I mean, we've been in here for a good while and the other team has probably already escaped. There's no way they would let us die, right?" When he received no immediate response, he began to freak out. "I can't die now! I haven't even started my modeling career!"

"That still leaves us with two choices," Duncan noted. "Trying to pick a lock in the bottom hatch or risk dealing with a shark in the top hatch."

"I doubt any us would really be able to pick the lock with the limited amount of time we've got," Trent commented. He then thought of something and took a deep breath. Knowing that it was not necessary an idea that everyone on the team was going to enjoy. "I think I know of a way to get through the shark."

"But we don't have bacon or facon," Lindsay responded in a worried voice.

"I was thinking more along the lines of the other thing that, through our experience, sharks like," Trent said.

* * *

"Clearly none of us wants to die right here and now," Gwen stated to the others. "So in order to get out of here, we need to decide on one of two choices. Either try to pick the lock in the bottom hatch or find a way past the fire in the top hatch. It's one or the other at this point."

"I doubt we would be able to get past the fire in any way," LeShawna noted. "We'd have to let the room flood in order to get enough water to burn it out, but by then we'd be outta breath."

"So that just leaves us with picking the lock," Bridgette said with a sigh. "Well, I can hold my breath for a very long time. But I don't know the first thing about picking locks."

"I know a little bit about picking locks," Geoff declared. "I just never tried it underwater."

"We don't much time left," Gwen proclaimed. "We're just going to have to risk picking the lock. Geoff, you swim down there and get to work on cracking the hatch open. Bridgette, give him air when he needs them."

"You sure that's a good idea havin' her provide him with air?" LeShawna asked with a concerned brow raised.

"No time for arguments!" Gwen screamed suddenly, panic finally starting to take hold of her. After taking a moment of silence to calm down, she turned her attention back to Bridgette and Geoff. "Both of you get down there now. We're counting on you two to save us, so please don't regret my turning to you."

Bridgette and Geoff nodded, not willing to say another word in fear of another outburst from Gwen. Both took in the deepest breath either could possibly hold before descending below the water.

* * *

Chris tapped his toe nervously, watching the seconds tick by on his watch. He appeared he had been doing for this quite a long while. Finally, the reason for his waiting so long arrived. A loud tire screech was heard outside and seconds later Chef Hatchet rushed into the control room. He looked extremely out of breath, had bloodshot eyes, wearing ripped, dirty clothes that appeared more ragged than possible, and his dark skin was slightly pigmented in white.

"So they gave you the dungeon, eh?" Chris noted, apparently not surprised with the way the other looked.

"They… played… non… stop…" Chef slowly started to say in a whisper. He paused, extremely hesitant to say any more. But then he mustered the courage to finish what he was about to say. "Justin… Bieber!"

"Eeee…" Chris uttered, letting out a hiss of pain. "That bad, huh?"

"Baby… baby… oh…" Chef muttered, unconsciously singing the lyrics from a particular song that was driving him mental.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that any more, pal," Chris stated. "You'll be getting that increased paycheck you've been asking for and everything will be right as rain. You don't even have to cook the meals any more. Just help out with setting up the challenges and that's it. All you have to do is save the kiddies from drowning."

Chef let out a sigh of relief only to look suddenly crossed. "How come I don't hafta cook any more?" he asked curiously.

* * *

"But are you sure there's no other way?" Beth asked with a mixture of worry and panic.

"We're out of time, Beth," Trent explained in reply. "If we don't do this and do it now, we're all gonna drown. Just make sure he's ready because we're only gonna get one shot at this."

Beth nodded nervously and reluctantly before taking a deep breath and diving down to join Justin and Lindsay below. Trent looked over at Duncan, who appeared to be as ready as he ever would. Both letting out heavy sighs, the proceeded to turn the wheel latch and open the top hatch. The shark immediately dropped out into the water and was about to begin what would been a watery carnage when it suddenly stopped. Its eyes then turned into heart shapes upon seeing the beautiful semi-clothed body of Justin posing at the bottom of the floor. With the shark now completely lovestruck, the Killer Grips began to make their escape through the top hatch. Justin going last to keep the shark distracted for as long as possible.

* * *

Geoff placed an ear against lock and listened as best as he could underwater for the clicks informing him that he had reached the proper combination number. When he started to struggle for breath, he motioned to Bridgette to breathe air into his mouth. Despite the obvious potential of the getting lost in their lip locking, they managed to maintain focus on the objective at hand. Now with a fresh set of oxygen, Geoff resumed cracking the lock. Moments later, he finally came upon the click he was waiting for. Hitting the last combination, he wasted no time in opening the hatch. An excited Bridgette lost control for a brief moment and planted a kiss on Geoff before motioning to Gwen and LeShawna that the exit was finally open. All four preceded to swim their way to freedom.

* * *

It was nightfall in Toronto, Ontario. The contestants, all in bath robes and their hair all rolled up in towels, sat as close to the fireplace as possible. They were exhausted from the activities of the day and wanted to hurry the proceedings as quickly as possible so they could get into the warm saunas that had been set up in-between the trailers. But first, they had to hear from Chris regarding the results of the second challenge and perhaps an update or two on Harold's condition. Of course, they figured that the latter would be wishful thinking considering just how much the handsome host cared for their well-being.

"Well, that was a pretty exciting day, huh?" Chris announced as he walked onto the campgrounds. He ignored the glares that everyone of the contestants were sending his way. "And may I say that you kiddies earned a helluva lotta respect from me today. I mean it. I didn't think you'd be able to escape on your own after we suffered a malfunction on our end to stop the challenge when the water rose too high to our liking."

"Probably only thought about the fact that our families would sue if we had died," Gwen muttered under her breath.

"But you guys managed to overcome and prevail against all odds to escape what could have been your watery tomb," Chris continued, seemingly oblivious to Gwen's comment. "And for that, you guys deserve the sauna we're providing you for the remainder of the show and a more suitable reward for the winning team."

"Still can't believe we gotta go through this winners and losers crap after all we been through," LeShawna noted under her breath.

"The original prize was gonna be an all expenses paid trip to beautiful British Colombia," Chris stated, once again seemingly oblivious to LeShawna's comment. "You would have been staying at the luxurious Inn on the Volcano, a charming lodge teetering on the edge of a little known active volcano on Vancouver Island. But we figured you guys earned the right to pick your own prize. Within a fine budgetary limit, of course, since Chef's back on the payroll with an added K to his earnings."

"Helluva way to get that increased pay," Duncan grumbled under his breath. "Just try to force a contestant to cheat and all."

"Oh, you don't wanna know what Chef had to endure as punishment," Chris said, this time having overheard what a contestant had said. "Because I'm putting some serious thought into using it as a future challenge. And believe, today would seem like a cake-walk in comparison. Speaking of today's challenge, I believe I'm correct in recalling that the Killer Grips just managed to successfully escape from the submarine before the Screaming Gaffers. So they are the winners and therefore entitled to the free prize of their choice, within budgetary limit."

"We'll just take some chips and pop, if that's okay," Trent stated on behalf of the team.

Chris raised a perplex brow upon hearing this and then shrugged. "Suit yourselves," he said. "Guess the producers will be saving some money after all. Now for some last minute good news and bad news before you kiddies can dive into the sauna for some much needed relaxation. The bad news is that the Screaming Gaffers will have to vote one of their own out of the competition regardless of how today went. The good news is that the doctors have cleared Harold to be back in time for the Gilded Chris Awards."

"Oh, thank Heaven!" LeShawna cried, letting out a huge sigh of relief. "The best news I've heard all day."

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Duncan - "I couldn't believe we were actually gonna drown. Did the producers lose their minds? But… it would've been a pretty cool way to on national TV and all."

Bridgette - "I don't usually panic as much for my life whenever I'm around water. But this was a little different. Being trapped in an enclosed space and all. This was one of the few times I have ever been so concerned in a watery environment. I never thought such a thing could ever happen to me."

Trent - "Man… I don't think I have ever been through anything as intense as that challenge. I mean, this really was a true life and death situation we just managed to go through. Can a million dollars really be worth all of this trouble?"

Geoff - "That was so whacked, bra. I'm a pretty mellow guy and everything. But I was so nervous about the whole thing because my Schmoopy-Schmoo was also in the same dire predicament as I was. And that's not cool, man."

Beth - "And with our lives on the line, who is the white knight in shining armor to save us all? Justin, that's who. You see, Duncan? Had it not been for Justin distracting the shark, we would have died in that submarine."

* * *

For the second time ever in the competition, the Screaming Gaffers were forced to sit through and endure the horror show that was the sequence introducing the Gilded Chris Award Ceremony. Once it had finally been completed, the handsome host came out on stage, wearing his now signature light blue tuxedo with red bow tie. Upon reaching the podium, he pulled out the card that contained the results of the voting.

"Well, well, well," he began to announce. "This is surely quite the interesting development indeed. It seems forever and ago since the Screaming Gaffers were last out here having to decide which amongst themselves will be marching down the Walk of Shame and hitch a ride home empty handed in the Lame-o-sine. With the votes having been tallied, it's time to hand out the Gilded Chris Awards. But before we do that, let us all take a moment to welcome back from a brief stint at the hospital… Harold!"

Nearly all of the Screaming Gaffers cheered as Harold was wheeled out to join them by Chef Hatchet. It was assumed that he would remain in the wheelchair just for the night as a precaution. Gwen and Bridgette each gave Harold hugs while Geoff gave him a high five. LeShawna, who had not cheered, was instead smiling before throwing herself into an embrace upon him.

"Okay, enough with all the good cheer and everything," Chris proclaimed. "We need to wrap this up and in a jiffy. The first Gilded Chris Award obviously goes to Gwen." Gwen managed to react just in time to Chef suddenly throwing an award at her. "The next two recipients are Bridgette and Geoff." The surfer girl and the party dude easily caught the awards thrown to them. The mood then turned somber as it came down to Harold and LeShawna. "And the recipient of the final Gilded Chris Award of the night is…"

"Just give it to my Suga Baby already, will you?" LeShawna questioned rather suddenly before Chris could engaged in his dramatic pause. "I'm tired and I wanna get movin' as quickly as possible."

"Spoil sport," Chris muttered.

"You are leaving?" Harold asked in surprise. "But… I just got back."

"I know, baby," LeShawna said with a sigh. "Only today was really rough on me. Not just with you havin' to go to the hospital and all, but also with how I messed up bad for the team in the second challenge."

"This is not fair," Harold uttered, feeling quite sad over what was happening. "You are a better competitor than I am, yet you are the one getting voted off. Let me leave in your place, LeShawna. I got myself knocked out and left you all a man short in the second challenge."

"I appreciate the gesture, I really do," LeShawna assured, placing a hand upon his shoulder. "But this is my call. I was the one who cost the team victory today, so I should be the one to take the fall. My only regret is that I didn't get a chance to see that Mohawk-wearin' punk off before me. So do me a favor, okay? You hang in there for me. Don't let Duncan get you down. And if all else fails, fight for yer honor and never give up."

The two looked at one another for a bride moment before leaning in to give another another a kiss. Seconds later, Chef roughly grabbed LeShawna by the shoulder and pulled her away from Harold. The Screaming Gaffers watched with melancholy as LeShawna made her way down the Walk of Shame and into the Lame-o-sine. She popped out of the sunroof just as it was taking off to wave goodbye to her team. The others waved in return, in particular Harold. When she had disappeared from sight, he bowed his head and let out a heavy sigh. Bridgette and Geoff each placed a hand upon one of Harold's shoulders in the hopes of providing some form of solace.

"And who said this show was lacking in drama of the heart-breaking, tear-jerking variety," Chris announced, turning his direction to the nearest camera. "And that powerful moment of love and loss brings us to the end of another awesome episode! What disaster lies in store for our teams next time? I'm your host, Chris McLean, asking you to tune in, turn on, and find out right here on Total… Drama… Action!"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Gwen - /_Somber._/ "After we sent Heather to the curve, we all got together and agreed that we would decide unanimously who would go the next time we had to vote someone off."

Bridgette - /_Sad._/ "We all had become such great friends and did not want to backstab one another over a slim chance at winning a million dollars."

Geoff - /_Bummed._/ "So when we lost the challenge today, we met as a group and discussed what happened in the challenge today. As much as we didn't wanna vote her off, she insisted that we stick to our promise."

LeShawna - /_Sighs._/ "As unbelievable as it was, my gas erased the combination number on that paper. Had that not happened, we woulda gotten outta there much sooner than we did. Instead, Bridgette and Geoff had to put themselves on the line and that was my fault. I don't ever wanna be in a position of makin' my friends do anythin' like that ever again. I'm really sorry, Harold, but I have to be the one to go."

* * *

Gwen - LeShawna

Bridgette - LeShawna

Geoff - LeShawna

Harold - N/A

LeShawna - LeShawna

…

LeShawna - 4

N/A - 1

…

Voted Off - Owen, Heather, Izzy, DJ (Withdrew), LeShawna

* * *

Now here is a chapter that differed extremely from the original episode almost from the word go. So many changes that had occurred leading up to this moment have really started to take affect. I am actually find it rather difficult to explain further what has happened and why it has happened. All I can say is that, like Izzy's unfortunate exit, this too was also the point when I pre-planned for LeShawna to leave as I honestly could not figure how to keep writing her in the competition any further. Some more of the pieces are beginning to fall into place and soon we are sure to see an absolutely different Total Drama Action than the original.

With one chapter left before the next Aftermath, now would probably be a good time to remind you all that over in my forum you can submit characters for fan participation. Remember to read the rules and have fun.

**DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN THE REVIEWS!**

**Next Up:** Full Metal Drama


	10. Full Metal Drama

**Total Drama Action Redux**

a _Total Drama_ fan fiction story

by Lord Akiyama

* * *

**Author's Note:** This is an alternate universe story based around my idea of how the series would have gone. It begins from the episode _Alien Resurr-eggtion_ onward. Some elements are the same as in the show, but the rest is taken in a different direction.

_Total Drama_ and its characters are copyright © of Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network. This story was created purely out of sheer enjoyment so please don't sue. Or throw me off a thousand-foot high cliff into a shark-infested lake. That would so smarts.

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

Full Metal Drama

* * *

_(Narrated by Chris McLean)_

Last week on Total Drama Action...

Our competitors took it on the chin as they faced an all-you-can-eat buffet of deadly natural disasters. It started with the inclusion of a new awesome cook in Ricardo Balbone Montez de la Vasquez Asa Loca and his fine delicacies. Then the kiddies were pitted against a wicked obstacle course that had them rocking and rolling.

That is, until Duncan hurled Chef Hatchet's memoir onto an unsuspecting Harold in reaction to Justin's lack of commitment to the team.

Ah-ouch!

With poor Harold on the shelf, the Gaffers were given the advantage going into the next challenge while the Grips continued to fight among themselves.

But the Your-Own-Worst-Enemy Award clearly goes to LeShawna. Eating the new cook's beans caused her to rip one so nasty it melted the vital clue they received to win the day. Better call the fire department because LeShawna's pants were seriously on fire. Luckily, we had a submarine tank simulator full of water to douse the flames in a water-logged event that had all our competitors gasping for air.

Unfortunately, the hired helpers that tagged along with Ricardo were inept and nearly cost the boys and girls not only their lives, but ours as well. Believe it or not, those kids dying is something even I would never want to have on my conscious, and not just because me and the producers would have been sued until kingdom come. While scrambling to get Chef Hatchet out of his punishment, the two teams instead impressed the hell out of me by managing to figure on their own how to escape.

Nevertheless, we still needed to send someone home. And though Harold managed to make it back negative for a concussion, his lady-love LeShawna was given the boot, leaving him not only with broken bones, but now with a broken heart.

Sound tough? Get used to it! Because this week... it's all out war!

It's a desperate battle for survival on...

TOTAL... DRAMA... ACTION!

_(Cue Theme Song)_

* * *

Everyone awoke suddenly to a loud thumping sound. Curious, they all slowly slipped out of bed and looked outside to see a butcher knife lodged onto the side of the boys' trailer. They stared at the discovery for a moment before they realized that there was more noise to be heard. The sound of two men yelling and arguing at the top of their lungs. One voice they could clearly understand. The other was utterly incomprehensible.

"HOW DARE YOU COOK IT LIKE THAT!" the recognizable voice of Chef Hatchet was heard. "YOU RUININ' THE TEXTURE BY ADDIN' SALT LIKE THAT! YOU SUPPOSED TO USE VINEGAR, NOT WHITE WINE!"

"Why is Charlie yelling?" Lindsay asked, speaking in a worried tone.

"Who is he yelling at?" Geoff questioned, raising a confused brow.

"Oh, this I have got to see," Gwen proclaimed, a smirk forming on her lips as she started to make her way toward the Craft Services Tent. She turned briefly to explain to the others. "Chef is arguing with that new cook."

"I'm definitely in for this," Duncan chuckled, hopping out of the boys' trailer to join Gwen.

"You sure you want to get that close to the action?" Trent asked with concern, catching up with the other two so that they could hear him. "I mean, they might continue to throw stuff."

"Trust me, babe," Gwen responded with a laugh. "Seeing someone get under Chef Hatchet's skin this bad is well worth the risk of receiving bodily harm."

"This is a pay-per-view quality fight, man," Duncan added with a grin. "I'll gladly take advantage of a free viewing no matter the consequences it might bring."

It wasn't long before everyone was positioned near the entrance of the Craft Services Tent, making sure that they set to move quickly should something be thrown in their direction. They looked in to see Chef Hatchet and Ricardo Balbone Montez de la Vasquez Asa Loca literally going at one another verbally. They were nose to nose, their eyes inflamed with fury, veins popping out of various body parts, and their fists clenched good and tight.

"THAT AIN'T NO WAY TO COOK MEAT!" Chef yelled while Ricardo argued back non-stop in his own Spanish language. It appeared that Chef was doing all he could to outdo the other in terms of who could speak nonsense harder and louder. "YOU SHOULD BE USIN' RAT, NOT SNAKE! HOW ARE THEM MAGGOTS GONNA BE ABLE TO TASTE IT IF AIN'T LIQUIFIED?"

"That's just not right, bras," Geoff muttered, his face contorting into a squirming look with each sentence Chef yelled.

"I don't know how much longer I can handle listening to this," Bridgette noted, looking very uncomfortable. "I don't like the thought of what exactly they've been using to make our food."

"This is revolting," Justin complained quietly. "Isn't there some way we can sue over our food being a health hazard?"

"Yet another reason to always read the fine print before signing any contract," Gwen replied with a sigh. "If this is how those two go about making meat dishes, I shudder to think how they make their idea of a vegetarian dish."

"Gwen!" Bridgette nearly cried.

"Sorry," Gwen responded.

"WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO COOK?" Chef continued to yell at Ricardo. "STEVIE WONDER? I BET YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROAST DOG AND ROAST CAT! HOW DARE YOU NOT MAKE THAT SALAD CRISPY ENOUGH!"

"I do not see how this could be all that exciting," Harold noted. "They are just yelling at each other, which could go on for a very long time. There really is not anything else happening."

"Are you kidding?" Duncan questioned, as if in disbelief over what he had just heard. "This is just the warm-up. Ten bucks says they'll be throwing fists within the next hour."

"So what is the point of watching them argue if this is supposed to be some great showdown you are making it out to be?" Harold asked back in retort. "All it is doing is revealing what we did not want to hear about what we have been eating."

"Look, no one is making you stay and watch," Duncan stated. "If you wanna take off and find something else to occupy your time, be my guest. I ain't gonna stop you."

"Guys, can we please not fight?" Bridgette begged. "It's bad enough to see Chef and Ricardo arguing in there, but for it to spill out here amongst us is too much to bare."

"Especially after what we went through in the last challenge," Trent added. "You would think our nearly drowning to death and having to work together to survive would make us less snippy with one another."

"Hey, I've already eased up on my pranking his sorry butt and apologized for knocking him cold the other day," Duncan said in response. "You two seem to forget that he and I are on opposite teams. At the end of the day, he's my competition. I have no reason to be civil with him any more than I have to."

"Oh, so now I am your competition all of a sudden," Harold immediately retorted. "That is supposed to excuse you for all the bullying you have done not just here, but back on that stupid island when I your teammate?"

"Here we go again..." Gwen muttered with a sigh, shaking her head before burying her face in one of her hands.

"Guys, come on!" Beth pleaded. "Let's not do this now. Not when the next challenge could begin at any minute."

"Perhaps you should have been a real man and come after me instead of getting my Princess booted unfairly!" Duncan stated, completely ignoring the others as he focused all of his attention on Harold.

More would have been said between the two had it not been for the sudden sound of a whistle blowing. One that was being blown into a megaphone, which apparently had the volume dialed to maximum. All of the contestants immediately covered their ears, desperately trying to block out the sudden attack on their hearing. Once the whistling died, a new voice sounded.

"A-ten-hut!" Chris McLean announced through the megaphone. His exact location was unknown, but they were pretty sure he was where the next challenge would be. "All cadets are to report to the eastern side of the film lot! On the double!"

There was a collective moan of relief and dread that was let out from the competitors. Soon enough, they began to sulk their way toward their assigned destination, looking to get through the day as quickly and with little suffering as possible. Before they moved, Duncan and Harold each gave the other one last death glare.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Duncan - "You bet your bottom dollar that I'm starting to lose it here. With the She-Male still managing to survive the cut, I badly need to let off some steam. And now that LeShawna is gone, Dork Boy is ripe for the picking."

Harold - "If Duncan thinks he can keep pushing me around without fear of the consequences, he has got another thing coming. LeShawna is no longer here, so it is no more Mr. Nice Guy. Duncan is going to be so sorry the next time he messes with me."

Bridgette - "What is it about a million dollars that brings out the worst in people? Sure Duncan and Harold were hardly on friendly terms back on the island, but it's like the intensity between them has tripled in the short amount of time we've been here. And there's no sign of it easing down any time soon."

Geoff - "Bridge isn't liking how all this is going down between Duncan and Harold. And when my Surfer Chick is not being mellow, it makes everything all uncool and stuff. I'd do something if I could, but Duncan hasn't been in a happy mood lately. And he won't chill out when he's like that, no matter how hard I try to cheer things up."

* * *

Moments later, the contestants gathered around as Chris McLean paced before them. They could see that he was wearing what was obviously an army helmet. To their surprise, Chef Hatchet was not only also present, but he had already changed into his drill sergeant attire. They could almost guess immediately what this was going to be about.

"Today, we're all about war movies," Chris announced while he was still pacing At the same time, Chef kicked Geoff so that he would be lined up properly with the others. "So, look lively, you..."

"Buckets of horse doo-doo!" Chef suddenly stated, finishing Chris' sentence for him. Almost like it was planned to be that way from the start. Nevertheless, it succeeded in shocking the teens into attention.

"So, get ready for the first death-defying challenge, you..." Chris began to continue.

"Disgusting, slimy crustaceans!" Chef finished.

"Move it, privates!" Chris proclaimed. "Fall in!"

"Sir, yes sir!" all of the competitors responded.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Duncan - "I've always wanted to be a marine. They're rough, tough. They wear rad boots and say 'Hoo-hah!' No clue what that means, but it sounds so cool. Hoo-HAH!"

* * *

"I am so pumped!" Harold proclaimed, pumping his fist with excitement. "My squad in Battlefront has won ten online gaming titles. The secret to our success? Teamwork."

"This is the real world, Virtual-Loser," Duncan snorted in response. "Once I get my Marine on, it's game over for you. I'm the main course, the rest of you are gravy. As in on the side."

"Don't you two have anything better to do than bicker at each other?" Trent asked, letting out a heavy sigh along with the others.

"You won't be saying that when I bust out my deadly Nun-Yo," Harold stated to Duncan, completely ignoring Trent. "No longer must we live in fear of ninja attacks. Not when I'm carrying this bad boy." Quite suddenly, we whipped out two pairs of yo-yos attached together on an independent line. He began spinning them, creating what appeared to be a vortex that surrounded him. "I will defeat all enemies and smite them with dishonor!"

Harold began showing off his Nun-Yo skills regardless of whether or not any one else was watching. It took a grand total of one second for Duncan to officially get bored. Rolling his eyes, he picked up a stick, walked calming over to Harold, and dropped the stick in the middle of Harold's Nun-Yo. As one would expect the results found Harold quickly tangled up with the added insult to injury of one of the yo-yos connecting rather hard below the belt.

"My nether-regions!" Harold cried before falling onto his face.

"Harold just took a Nun-Yo in the Nun-Yos!" Duncan laughed heartily. "What a loser!"

"Not funny, Duncan!" Harold tried to yell, though his voice was unnaturally high pitched and horse with pain.

* * *

"Okay, people!" Chris announced. "Remove your blindfolds." The contestants did so, and thus found themselves inside an airplane. One that looked suspiciously empty. The handsome host continued to speak. "When it comes to making a war movie, jumping out of an airplane is the most dangerous stunt there is." He opened case he was standing next to, revealing a collection of parachutes inside. He then chuckled as he opened the door leading outside of the plane. "So naturally, it's out first challenge!" As expected, there was a gasp of horror that emanated from all of the contestants.

"Dude, we barely survived the last challenge with our lives!" Geoff cried.

"Now you want us to jump out of a plane?" Bridgette questioned frantically. "Are you insane?"

"Just chill out, dudes and dudettes," Chris stated calmly, though having to raise his voice so that he could be heard over the wind gushing through the door. "Everything is under control-"

"Bullsh-/**censored**/!" Gwen yelled. "There is no way this could possibly be under control! Not with how this whole goddamned show has worked since day one!"

"And that's not even taking into consideration whatever sick twist you probably threw in!" Trent stated rather sternly. "What's the deal? We're supposed to jump without parachutes?"

Chris made no immediate response to Trent's question. As a matter of fact, he was sheepishly looking from side to side before taking a quick peek out the door. "Drop zone approaching!" he proclaimed in a poor attempt to skirt the issue. "Form a line! It's time to par-tay!"

"You mean we really are going to have to jump without parachutes?" Beth screamed in dread. "You are insane!"

"Oh hell no!" Duncan angrily declared. "We are not doing this!"

"Not to mention it's highly illegal to make us!" Harold stated.

"My modeling agency will sue your ass from here to kingdom come!" Justin threatened vehemently. "For endangering my life without a photographer present to capture my last one-shots!"

"I don't wanna die!" Lindsay cried, tears flowing out from her eyes like waterfalls. "I'm too young to die! I haven't even had a chance to tell Tyler that I love him!"

"O-kay..." Chris muttered when he finally had a chance to speak. "If you scaredy cats would give me a minute to explain what it is that we're actually doing-"

"What is there to explain?" Bridgette asked in frustration. "You're making us jump out of a plane without parachutes!"

"And this after we almost drowned inside a submarine!" Geoff added.

"You really want a fatality to spike the ratings, don't you?" Gwen demanded firmly.

"This is absolutely not worth a million dollars!" Trent stated.

"I hope you burn in Hell for all the mean things you have been doing to us!" Beth screamed.

"I have no qualms with going back to juvie if it means choking you to death to save my hide, Chris!" Duncan roared.

"When the lawyers are done with you, you'll be choking yourself to death to escape the debt you'll be in!" Justin proclaimed.

"This is totally bogus!" Harold declared.

"Tyler!" Lindsay cried. "If I live through and I get a million dollars, I'll marry you!"

"You'll what?" nearly everyone uttered in shock, turning their attention to the Lindsay. While she could hardly be regarded as the smartest tool in the shed, she was able to recognize what she had just said that caused everyone to look to her in surprise. As such, she began to blush madly and shrink into herself with embarrassment.

"Alrighty then..." Chris managed to say, breaking the silence that had occurred for a moment. "Tell you what, you guys figure out what the beauty queen is talking about and I'll just step out here for a minute. M'kay? Great." Before any one else knew it, Chris took one giant step out of the door and disappeared out of the plane.

The sight of the handsome host exiting the plane as he did caused everyone to gasp in horror. In fact, they honestly did not know what to think or what to do. They were paralyzed with shock and confusion.

"Di-Did he just do what I think he did?" Beth gasped in question.

"What the hell is going on here?" Gwen asked in disbelief.

"Surely he wore a parachute before he jumped out, right?" Bridgette suggested, though it sounded as though she was hoping for it to be the case as opposed to be convinced that it was so.

"I didn't see him grab one before he left," Trent noted.

"And he was not wearing one underneath his clothes," Harold added. "Otherwise, we would have looked as though he had a hunchback."

"I'm just trying to figure if this is a good thing or a bad thing," Duncan proclaimed, his lips flinching slightly as if it was hesitating to form a smile or not.

"How can this not be a bad thing, bras?" Geoff questioned. "What's gonna happen to us with the host gone?"

"Clearly we should be able to get out of this stinking place, right?" Justin tried to declare. "Chris obviously jumped to his death, so that's the end of the show and we can all go home."

"But who's flying the plane?" Lindsay asked.

Initially, everyone was surprised that it took Lindsay of all people to come up with that question. Once they let that register, they then turned their attention toward the cockpit. Who indeed was flying the place if Chris wasn't? Was there any one in there at all? As if to answer their question, the plane suddenly began to tip to one side. Specifically tipping so that the door leading out was positioned near the bottom. And it was sucking out everything violently.

All tried to scramble and grab onto something, but the sudden movement of the plane had caused them to lose balance. Sure enough, everyone began to tumble about before finally falling through the door and out of the plane screaming for their lives.

It was a merely a second later when they all realized that they were already on the ground. In fact, they were all lying on top of a soft spring mattress that had been laid out directly below the plane door. The dust started to settle and they could see that the gust of wind that had been blowing was the result of the Tsunami Maker 5000 being operated by a chuckling Chef. Still further confused, everyone looked around before finally spotting Chris leaning up against the plane with his arms across his chest and shaking his head as though he was disappointed in them.

"As I was going to say before you people rudely interrupted me," he began to announced. "This was to be a simple racing challenge that began with you hoping out of a plane that was no more than three feet off the ground. Three feet off the ground! From there you would have tackled the typical obstacle course used for those training to join the military just over yonder with the first team to finish receiving an advantage going into the next round. But since you kiddies were so sure that I would be stupid enough to force you to jump out of a plane without a parachute after what you went through the last time, I imagine we'll just have to figure some other way to make things interesting for you guys to deal with."

"You... have got... to be kidding me..." Gwen muttered with anger under her breath.

"This bites..." Duncan added in frustration.

"Let's roll, soldiers!" Chris proclaimed. "Because the second part of this challenge is gonna blow your minds! And everything else within a fifty foot radius!"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Lindsay - /_Pauses sheepishly for a moment._/ "... Daddy? I hope you like Tyler. I really think he'll be different from all those other guys. You know, the ones that disappeared after I said that I could, like, see myself marrying them."

* * *

Chef removed the cover to a large mound that revealed a hefty cache of bombs and grenades. Various shapes and sizes in numbers so great that a few of the boys actually whistled how impressed they were. Most of the girls merely groaned with displeasure.

"Are those... paint bombs?" Bridgette asked curiously after inspecting one of the bombs.

"We've divided the camp into two halves," Chris began to explain. "Most creative and controlled splatter wins."

"Talk about a challenge custom-made for me," Duncan declared, rubbing his hands together with delight before diving right in to pick up as many bombs and grenades as he could carry. "I'm all over this."

"Might I suggest you consult your friendly neighborhood chem-expert?" Harold questioned to his teammates. "Because what is an explosion? Other than the chemical reaction of trinitrotoluene, decomposing as C7H5N3O6-3N2 + 5H2O + 7CO."

"Dude, what's that in English?" Geoff asked, rubbing the inside of an ear with his pinky.

"You guys really considering letting four-eyes lead on this one?" Duncan noted. Before long, he was on the ground howling with laughter. "That's rich! Taking orders from him on a challenge like this. I'll smoke him before he even gets a chance to even take one step onto the battlefield."

"It is brains that wins battles, not brawn," Harold stated. "I bet that I am much more attune with developing battle strategies and modifying them on the fly to adapt to changing situations than you are at simply being able to use bombs."

"Oh sure, just because you played a few video games that makes you an expert on how to plan and attack in combat," Duncan said sarcastically. "Face it, Dweeb, you flat out suck at real life and only manage to skate by on dumb luck."

"Again with the disrespect!" Harold yelled in anger. "You and your precious princess have belittled my talents and abilities from day one. Yet ask any one from our old team and they will tell you that it was because of me that we were able to achieve victory on several occasions. As a matter of fact, you have yet to be responsible for winning a team challenge either back then or even now. You are the worst team player on the whole show!"

"Dudes, let's just calm down, alright?" Geoff said, trying to ease the tension that was quickly building.

"You really wanna go for it, Twinkle Toes?" Duncan demanded in a huff. "I don't see your precious LeShawna around to protect your worthless little hide now. How's about you man up for a change and walk the walk instead of talking the talk."

"I am sick and tired of your endless abuse!" Harold responded in kind. "It is time that you are paid back what you are owed!"

"Bring it, Nerdling!" Duncan declared.

"That is it!" Gwen screamed from the top of her lungs, causing everyone to jump slightly and bring their attention to her. "I have had it with the two of you bickering at one another like you're in kindergarten!"

"Same here!" Trent stated in equal frustration. "It's like it only takes one little thing to set the two of you off into a verbal assault on one another. It's driving everyone else crazy!"

"We are not going to sit idly any longer," Gwen proclaimed. "I swear to God, whatever it takes, one of you two is going to get sent home next. We cannot deal with this crap for another f-/**censored**/-king minute!"

"Say, that doesn't sound like a bad idea," Chris interjected excitedly. This followed with a chuckle that sounded rather sinister to some of the contestants. "In place of whatever it was we were going to do for whichever team had properly won the first challenge that you kiddies screwed up, we're going to spice things up a little for the rest of the day. Duncan will now captain the Killer Grips and Harold will captain the Screaming Gaffers. And we're going to live by the old saying that the captain goes down with the ship. The captain of the losing team at the end of the day will be outta here! No votes, no second chances! You either win or you go home! Comprende?"

"Just so long as it stops this whole thing for good, I can accept that," Gwen said.

"Me too," Trent responded with a nod.

"Harshness," Geoff muttered. Nevertheless, it appeared that everyone else was fine with this new development. In particular Harold and Duncan, who each gave the other a determined glare.

"For once, I'm actually glad we have Duncan on our team," Justin proclaimed to Beth and Lindsay. "Vandal Boy beats Big Chem Nerd. It's a simple equation. And with us up five to four, this challenge will be a cake walk." As if to further illustrate his point, Justin had suddenly step up a hammock and hopped on for a relaxing nap.

"Oh, you're not getting off that easily, She-Man," Duncan stated. He spun the hammock hard enough for Justin to spill out onto the ground. "Since I get to be running the show for this team, that means you have to do whatever I say, no questions asked. If I tell you to pull your weight, you're gonna do exactly that. Got it?" Justin glared up at Duncan with immense hatred in his eyes, but said nothing in return.

"I really hope for your sake that your talents are as good you say they are," Bridgette said to Harold. "Because you know Duncan will have free reign to bury you at every turn if you lose this."

"Sh'yeah, man," Geoff noted with a nod. "Everything is gonna be on your shoulders, bra. You think you can handle it?"

Harold opened his mouth and was about to respond, but then stopped himself. In that instant, he displayed a slight bit of hesitation. One that the others in the Screaming Gaffers immediately picked up on, resulting in their becoming quite concerned about how this day was going to go for them.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Gwen - /_In a huff._/ "I have nothing more to say about the issue. I could care less which one gets the boot so long as it stops all this insufferable drama they have with one another."

Trent - "You think it's bad during the competition, you should see what they're like in the boys' trailer. It's only by luck the rest of us aren't caught in the middle. We can't take it any more and something had to be done to put an end to all of this."

Geoff - "Duncan is a cool bra and all, but so is Harold. I mean, we're not on the same wavelength and all, but that's not to say he's any less cool, you know. Really bums me out the way they go off on each other constantly. Brings the mood down and all."

Bridgette - "Harold does rub people the wrong way sometimes, but he's no less of a nice guy. I mean, he hooked up with LeShawna. That's a plus. Duncan is intolerable with how he treats everyone like they're inferior. to him in every way. I would like nothing more than to see Duncan go, but I'll accept Harold leaving if it means the end of all of this fighting they have."

Justin - "Despite the fact that he's a strong competitor, and I will admit that he offers the best chance for us to win this challenges, I would like nothing more than to see Duncan get humbled by Harold. I mean, take one good guess as to who he targets when the Nerd is not around for him to pick on."

Beth - "What is Duncan's problem? Why does he have to pick on people for no good reason than to make himself feel all high and mighty? It's just too bad that he is as good as he says he is from time to time, because I would love to see him go over Harold. And besides, if Harold is gone, he's going to unfairly go after Justin."

Lindsay - "I really don't like it when Harry and Devon fight all the time. It's like they have to fight because it is in their BMA, or something. You know, Body Moving Action. It's all sciency and stuff."

* * *

"Grips, are we ready?" Chris asked as he handed Duncan a detonator.

"Time for a little punk rock," Duncan declared as he pushed the handle down to activate his bombs. The explosions were strategically placed and when all was said and done there was a giant paint splatter in the shape of a skull. A rather obvious, yet admittedly impressive, insignia from the delinquent.

"And who says vandalism doesn't pay?" Chris commented with a chuckle.

"Try and top that, Harold," Duncan said as he walked past his competitor. To add insult to injury, he poked Harold in the chest rather hard. "This is my world you're living in, Dork Boy. Give up now and I just might show you a little mercy." Harold merely responded by grinding his teeth when Duncan was not looking.

* * *

"Are we ready to blow it up?" Chris asked the Gaffers with a curious brow raised in anticipation.

"For LeShawna..." Harold muttered quietly to himself. He took a deep breath and then pressed down on the handle to activate his bombs. Only nothing happened. The other members of the Gaffers groaned in disappointment while Duncan was already laughing.

"Well, folks," Chris began to say. "We seem to be having some technical-"

The explosion caught everyone, even Harold, by surprise. Whereas Duncan had set off a series of bombs to create his splatter image, Harold set everything off in one gigantic go. And it was quite the impressive sight unto itself. The end result was a paint splatter in the shape of a heart. One could argue that it was of equal size to the image Duncan had made. Aside of the shape, the other noticeable difference was how much cleaner Harold had made his to appear.

"How about that," the handsome host uttered with a chuckle. "It was explosive, it was creative, and it was just a tad bit more controlled than the Grips. Well done, Harold. You just won this round for the Gaffers." The Gaffers cheered with excitement and disbelief, though Harold merely sighed with relief. The Grips looked far from pleased.

"Are you kidding me?" Duncan complained. "How can a heart be as creative as that wicked skull I put together?"

"Nice going, Duncan," Justin said, crossing his arms in frustration. "This was a challenge tailor-made for you and you still blow it. Some great leader you turned out to be."

"Test my patience again, Pretty Boy," Duncan growled. "I dare you."

"It is my honor to present your prize," Chris further announced to the Gaffers. "The Big Trunk of Mind Blowing Secrets!" The said prize was rolled out by Chef for the others to observe. The Gaffers looked at it curiously, wondering whether it was appropriately named. "You'll be defending it with your very lives in the grand finale of today's challenge. It's a giant game of capture the flag. Except in this case the flag is... the Trunk of Mind Blowing Secrets! There's only one way to learn what's in the trunk and that's to win the challenge. As a reward, you'll send the other team's captain packing and we'll give you a peek inside. But be ready. The secrets inside will blow your brains to bits!"

"I don't want my brain to be blown to bits," Lindsay gasped. "It would make me all icky and stuff."

"Not to worry," Chris stated, holding up a roll of duct tape. "A roll of tape will be provided so you can tape the gray matter back together." He let out a chuckle while most of the contestants merely rolled their eyes.

* * *

"Gaffers, this is your base camp," Chris said to the team in question, directing them to a tent Chef was standing next to with their insignia present over the outside flaps. Geoff and Harold were carrying the Big Trunk of Mind Blowing Secrets behind Gwen and Bridgette. "Our set decoration team wanted to build you guys a towering castle full of defensive possibilities. But they went to see a movie instead, so we're gonna give you this." Chef removed the tent cover to reveal an extremely broken down tool shed. "I think it's a tool shed." The small building structure then collapsed upon itself rather suddenly. "Was a tool shed. Good luck!" And with that, Chris and Chef quickly exited the scene, leaving the Gaffers to plan their strategy.

"Guess I'll ask the obvious question," Bridgette stated. "How are we going to defend this big old trunk of secrets with no fort?" At once, everyone turned to Harold.

"We will put our heads together and come up with a group plan," Harold answered. He then proceeded into the tool shed wreckage and removed four shovels that just happened to be sticking out enough for him to pick up. "In first World War movies, they always have underground hiding places. Foxholes."

"Don't get me wrong Harold, your plan is better than nothing," Gwen said as he was handed a shovel. "But you can bet that Duncan will take one look and whatever you set up and tear it apart before you even had time to react."

"I am counting on that, actually," Harold responded in a rather confident manner. One that caught the others by surprise.

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Harold - "I have had it with Duncan. I have been giving my all since day one. Then Mister 'Too Cool to Care' suddenly wakes up and everyone falls all over him? He might be standing tall after that first challenge, but the taller the Mohawk, the harder it falls."

* * *

"It would appear that Four Eyes is having his team dig up a foxhole or two," Duncan noted, watching the opposing team through binoculars. "This is going to be like snatching candy from a baby."

"That's not very nice," Lindsay pouted. "Why would you want to steal candy from a baby?"

"I was speaking metaphorically," Duncan responded, rolling his eyes before turn his attention to his team.

"So, fearless leader," Justin said, emphasizing the given title for Duncan sarcastically. "How do we go about winning this challenge for you?"

"It should be pretty straightforward, really," Duncan answered with a confident chuckle. "They're digging up a foxhole over there, so it would be easy to assume that they are going to try to hide in there and catch us in a surprise attack."

* * *

"But even if Duncan did not know that, it would still be a mistake to try to actually hide in the foxhole as we have limited moving space and they still have one more body than us," Harold explained while he and the other Gaffers were digging up the foxhole. "Therefore, we are merely using this as a decoy."

* * *

"The foxhole is gonna be empty," Duncan explained. "Which means they will likely be setting up hiding positions about and around the foxhole to catch us off guard."

* * *

"He will be expecting us to hide in places around the foxhole," Harold noted. "The belief being that we would watch and wait for them to see if they would check the foxhole."

* * *

"Chances are that they will try to booby trap those so-called hiding positions," Duncan said. "Diverting our attention away from what is otherwise hiding in plain sight."

* * *

"Duncan is probably guessing that any hiding position we set up will be booby trapped," Harold stated. "He is going to set his sights on the trunk hidden within the foxhole."

* * *

"Of course, leaving the trunk all alone in the foxhole means that it is probably surrounded by all sorts of booby traps," Duncan noted. "Depending upon the circumstances, someone may need to bite the bullet and set off those traps so as to give the rest of us a clear run at nabbing the trunk."

* * *

"Knowing Duncan, he would be more than willing to sacrifice a teammate to set off the booby traps," Harold said. "But then, who is to say that the trunk itself is not booby trapped."

* * *

"There is the possibility that the trunk itself would be booby trapped or another decoy," Duncan explained. "Given its size and shape, I doubt even with Geoff they would be able to move it very far."

* * *

"He will be considering the option of whether or not the trunk itself may actually be a decoy," Harold stated. "He is also going to think that we would not be able to move the trunk too far, even with Geoff to help carry."

"Dude, that's harsh," Geoff commented. "He should know I can lug stuff here and there with no problem. Sure I'm not Eva or DJ, but I got the strength, yo." He started to flex his muscles a bit, which caught the giggling attention of Bridgette for a moment.

* * *

"This has been very informative and very enlightening, Duncan," Justin said sarcastically with a yawn. "But would you mind telling us essentially how to capture the trunk and beat the other team?" He received a death glare from the punk for a moment, though it would appear that the male model really did not care.

"The busted up tool shed," Duncan answered in a growl. "They're going to hide the trunk in there."

* * *

"We set up the decoy in the broken down tool shed over there," Harold proclaimed, rubbing his hands together gleefully. "I doubt Duncan will realize that there is another good place to hide the trunk until it is too late."

* * *

The Killer Grips cautiously made their way through the clearing where the Screaming Gaffers were last seen. They began to carefully examine their surroundings, keeping an eye out for anything that might look to appear out of place. Of course, not everyone was to follow the team strategy, let alone remember it.

"Hey, look!" Lindsay declared. "There's, like, loose soil over here. Maybe this is where they hid the trunk." Absentmindedly, she made her way over to the loose soil on the ground.

"Lindsay, wait!" Trent called. "That's a-"

Too late. The second Lindsay made contact with the soil, in collapsed downward, taking the screaming blonde with it. When the dust settled, the Grips looked over to find her next to a hefty mound of soil, tangled up in a net and covered with mud.

"Gross!" Lindsay cried. "I'm all dirty!"

"Well, there goes our one body advantage," Duncan muttered with a sigh before turning the others. "How about this time you guys remember to do as I say, okay?" He received no objections from them before they proceeded to leave the area.

"Wait!" Lindsay called out, watching the rest of her team go. "Isn't someone going to help me? Beth? Justin? Trent? I've got mud inside my boots and it's all icky!" A few moments later, she began to notice the mound of soil next to her started to stir. Sure enough, it suddenly rose in place, causing her to scream. "There's something down here! It's gonna eat me!"

"Not really, dudette," said the mound that had a rather familiar voice to it. "Was just waiting to see if someone would set off this trap and you did. So I'll be seeing you." The mound then shook off all the soil, revealing the shape of a certain party dude, who then took off out of the foxhole.

"Oh!" Lindsay whined. "Somebody get me out of here!"

"You sure leaving Lindsay behind is such a good idea?" Trent asked curiously. "Shouldn't we be trying to help her or something?"

"Not enough time," Duncan replied. "The sooner we get this over with, the better. Besides, we would be left open to get picked off by the other team. And I'm not going down without a fight."

"Some teammate you are," Justin muttered under his breath.

"Oh, like you're any better, She-Male?" Duncan responded.

"Stop picking on Justin!" Beth yelled. "He hasn't done anything to warrant you going after him like you do."

"How many times do I have to say it?" Duncan groaned. "That's exactly why I'm on his case. He doesn't do squat! I may be a solo player for the most part, but at least I'm doing something constructive."

"Can we just get back to the task at hand before we give the other team all the time in the world to neutralize us?" Trent demanded sternly. There was a brief moment of silence before the rest begrudgingly continued onward toward the broken down tool shed.

"So you believe the trunk is hidden in this mess?" Justin asked, looking quite pained to be anywhere near the pile of debris.

"Well, it certainly wasn't in the foxhole," Duncan replied. "And we all saw how that was the case. How about you make yourself useful for a change, Justin, and retrieve the trunk. And don't even think about trying to back out of this. You're getting your hands dirty because I, the captain in this challenge, said so."

"I knew you were going to say that," Justin squirmed quietly. He turned to Beth and put on an award-winning smile. "Beth, dear. I would appreciate it if you helped me recover the trunk." As expected, his smile had the exact affect he wanted.

"Anything for you," Beth responded breathlessly.

The two made their way into what was once a tool shed and began digging through. Suddenly, they felt a slight tremor that made them stop dead in their tracks. Seconds later, the ground beneath them collapsed. Their screams were quick and short, meaning that they did not fall very far. Duncan and Trent looked in to find that Justin and Beth were themselves trapped in nets and covered in dust and small pieces of debris.

"Oh my God, I think I have a splinter!" Justin gasped. "It's right there on the tip of my pinky!"

"Help!" Beth cried. "Get us out of here!"

"Okay, I certainly wasn't expecting this," Duncan noted in a curious manner. "Seems Twinkle Toes managed to outwit me on this one and now we're back to having to figure out where they hid the trunk."

"Perhaps it would help if I went down and got the rest of our team free while you work on where to go from here," Trent suggested, crossing his arms over his chest and raising a brow.

"Fine, fine," Duncan muttered, waving his arms up slightly. "Cut the others loose. Gives me the chance to solve this problem alone, which I'm better at doing any way." As Trent hopped down into the newly discovered hole where Justin and Beth await, Duncan made his way out of the debris and back into the clearing. Only to freeze in place and suddenly run back over. "Wait! They probably have another-" He was cut off by the sudden sound of a trap being activated and leaving Trent in the same predicament as the rest of the team.

"Well, this is just peachy," Trent sighed.

"Duncan, you have got to get us out of here!" Justin yelled in a panic. "I need to make sure this splinter is not infected!"

"Will you cut it out with the splinter?" Duncan retorted in frustration. "Besides, they clearly have it set up so that any continued attempt to try to free you guys activates more booby traps. Looks like I really am on my own with this one." With a slight wave, he turned and took off away from the others.

"But you can't just leave us!" Beth cried.

"He has to," Trent stated. "He's starting to realize that Harold is much smarter at these kinds of things than he's ever given him credit for. So he's right to believe that there's probably some more traps set up to prevent him from helping us out."

"This is a travesty!" Justin whined. "My modeling agency will not like to hear what has happened to me!"

"God, I can't even walk ten feet without hearing him complain," Duncan uttered under his breath. Then he sighed and started to think aloud. "Okay, they dug up a foxhole, only for it to be a decoy. That would have left the broken down tool shed as an obvious hiding spot. Yet that ends up getting booby trapped as well. So where else would Dork Boy hide the trunk?" He stood in place and tapped his toe for a moment. When a conclusion was reached, he snapped his fingers. "Of course! The most dangerous place in this Hell hole."

* * *

"Explain again why this is such a great hiding place," Bridgette whimpered while trying not to breath in through her nose.

"Because if the four of us end up getting neutralized, the other team still has at least one other obstacle to deal with," Gwen responded, jerking her thumb behind her.

"AND MAY I REMIND YOU THAT THEM KIDS ARE A BUNCHA WHINY LITTLE SPOILED BRATS THAT WANNA HAVE IT THEIR WAY!" Chef yelled at Ricardo. "THE FOOD IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE THEM FEAR AND RESPECT YER AUTHORITY! YER REVOLTIN' SLOB DOESN'T DO NONE OF THAT!" Ricardo responded as he had always done since first appearing, argue back nonstop in incoherent Spanish with the same amount of intensity as Chef had displayed.

The two colorful characters where going back and forth with one another while perched atop of the trunk in the middle of the kitchen in the Craft Services Tent. Both were also bearing a variety of utensils and cooking gear in each hand. It was just a matter of time before they started throwing their chosen weapons out of frustration.

"No one in their right mind would ever want to get within ten feet of those two for any reason," Gwen noted with a slight laugh. "I must say, it's quite ingenious of Harold to come up with that."

"WHILE WE ON THE SUBJECT, WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YER SO-CALLED ATTEMPT AT EGG DUMPLIN'S?" Chef continued to holler at the arguing Ricardo. "THEY CALL THEM DUMPLIN'S FOR A REASON!"

"Can't we just leave so we won't have to listen to any more of the revolting things they're saying?" Bridgette pleaded.

"Sorry, Babe," a cleaned up Geoff answered. "We need to stay here to defend the trunk despite how gnarly it is having Chef and Ricardo sitting on top of it. Duncan may still be able to get past them, you know."

"And the challenge is not over until we have neutralized all of the opposition," Harold declared. "So it is better to wait for him at that which he seeks."

"HOW DARE YOU USE PIGEON TO MAKE BEEF CASSELROLE!" Chef continued to bark at Ricardo, who in turn was still arguing back at him in rapid, uninterrupted succession. "YOU SUPPOSED TO BE USIN' LADYBUG AND COCKROACH!"

"I think I'm going to be sick if I stay here any longer," Bridgette uttered. She swallowed in an attempt to keep her stomach down.

Soon enough, the silhouette that formed the familiar shape of Duncan entered though the entrance flap of the Craft Services Tent. The delinquent slowly made his way inside to face the entirety of the Screaming Gaffers while in the background Chef and Ricardo continued to verbally assault one another with no end in sight.

"I gotta say, Harold, I am impressed," Duncan said with a smug look on his face. "I thought for sure you would be so gullible that you would think the tool shed would be the best place to hide the trunk. But you managed to outsmart me on that end. Bravo."

"Are you finally admitting that I am a skilled and talented competitor like I have always been since we first arrived on the island?" Harold asked calmly.

"Not in the slightest," Duncan replied with a laugh. "It's still dumb luck that you beat me at something I figured you to be a moron at. But you can bet that there ain't nothing you can do that will stop me from getting that trunk from underneath those two excuses for cooks and sending you packing." The delinquent cracked his knuckles and proceeded forward.

"Your arrogance will be your downfall," Harold proclaimed, pulling out his yo-yos and combining them to form the Nun-yo.

"I've been itching to finally put you in your place, Loser Nerdling," Duncan stated.

"THAT AIN'T NO WAY TO MAKE A DECENT PLACE OF SPAGETTHI!" Chef yelled at the arguing Ricardo. "BY FRYIN' THE WORMS YOU TAKE AWAY THE SLICKNESS SO THEY CAN SUCK THEM DOWN THEIR THROATS!"

Duncan charged forward, only to receive a yo-yo hit to the forehead, causing him to back up slightly. Harold continued to spin the Nun-yo in a defensive stance, waiting for his opponent to make his next move. Duncan charged again, this time dodging the incoming yo-yo. Yet he did not take into consideration how quickly Harold could retract the yo-yo, causing it to smack against the back of the head of the delinquent. Duncan started to growl over the apparent easy hits he was taking.

"If you think you can beat me with a buncha yo-yos, then you got another thing coming," Duncan roared before charging again.

Gwen, Bridgette, and Geoff watched in awe as Duncan and Harold engaged in combat. Harold using his Nun-yo to deflect the incoming attacks and nailing Duncan whenever an opening presented itself. To his credit, Duncan managed to land a smack or two the closer he got to Harold. The speed at which they were moving was so fast the others barely managed to keep pace so that they could see every move that was being made.

The finale came when Duncan threw the hardest uppercut he could. Harold just managed to weave himself out of the way and using the opportunity to launch the Nun-yo at the delinquent, causing him to be tied up. Duncan struggled desperately to get out, but ultimately fell to the ground without success. Bridgette and Gwen quickly grabbed a net and tied it around him, thereby trapping him for good. Duncan let out a painful roar of disbelief.

"You have got to be kidding me!" he cried.

"Yes!" Harold cheered, pumping his fist in the air. The rest of the Screaming Gaffers celebrated along with him as Geoff hoisted him in the air. "We won the challenge!"

"Time's up!" Chris announced as he walked into the Craft Services Tent. "The Gaffers have defended the chest, putting them in the winner's circle. That means the Grips will be sending home one of their own, in this case Duncan, tonight." The handsome host chuckled at Duncan, who rolled his eyes in disgust. "And now it's time to reveal to the winners... the mind blowing secrets within this trunk. But first..." He turned his attention over to the two cooks arguing on top of the trunk. "Hey Chef! Mind freeing the kiddies that are all tied up around here?" Chef turned to glare at him for a moment before looking back at Ricardo.

"We ain't done with this yet, Señor Stinko," Chef threatened in a low voice as he hopped off the trunk. "Not by a long shot." Ricardo continued to argue nonstop at the departing Chef while he himself displaced himself from the trunk and returned to his cooking. He was still arguing even after he looked away from where Chef left through.

"Here is what you have been fighting for, team," Chris declared as he gathered the Gaffers around the trunk.

And then, the trunk was opened.

"Nothing!" Chris proclaimed to the crestfallen contestants. "Absolutely nothing!"

"Are you kidding me?" Bridgette asked.

"We went through so much effort for an empty chest?" Harold questioned.

"Dude, this is so not cool," Geoff pouted.

"Why am I not surprised?" Gwen grumbled.

"Yep, this baby is empty," Chris said, closing the trunk and wiping his hands together. "Turns out that the bonus money we paid to get Chef back on the show meant that we couldn't pay for the sweet prize we were thinking of giving you guys for winning this challenge. Oh well, them's life. But hey, look on the bright side? Duncan's going home!"

* * *

**(Make-Up Confessional)**

Harold - "It was quite the letdown that we did not really get anything for all the work we did to win the challenge. But I must admit that Chris was right. Duncan is leaving and I was responsible for his defeat. That itself makes it all worth it. And it was for you, LeShawna. I did it for you."

* * *

Once again, the Killer Grips were forced to sit through and endure the sheer terror of the sequence introducing the Gilded Chris Award Ceremony. And this was in-spite of the fact that it was already established that there was no need for a vote as everyone knew who was going to be leaving. Nevertheless, they watched as Chris walked out in his signature light blue tuxedo and red bow tie. Once he reached the podium, he cleared his throat and began to speak.

"Tonight, we have a very special award ceremony to conduct," the handsome host began to announce. "In today's challenge, we had one clear winner and one clear loser. No if's, and's, or but's about it. I have to say, though, it's a little disappointing that you Grips managed to successfully squander your opportunity to really give the Gaffers a run with the one person advantage. Then again, you guys have never really been on the same page from the beginning."

"You don't need to tell me how much this team sucks," Duncan stated aloud. "Even without the fart machine and crazy girl, She-Male over here continues to not do anything, Beth unwisely tries to defend him at every turn, and blonde is about as sharp as a ball."

"There you go again, always complaining about the faults of other people," Beth coldly responded. "Well guess what, Mr. Tough Guy. Today was all on you and you lost. So this time you have no one else to blame but yourself."

"And I'll glad take the fall tonight," Duncan said. "But that does not excuse the fact that this has and will always be a terrible team. Emphasis on team, here. And you know what? I find it really sad that this is the case. Because Trent has been one hell of a stand-up guy from day one and is a far superior leader than our results have shown." This caused the whole team, and even Chris, to perk up in interest. "He was immune from elimination for the first several days. But he never stopped trying to push us to work together and make some sort of attempt at succeeding. Hell, even after he gave up his immunity, he still did all he could to inspire us to unite. It really sucks that we have been letting him down time after time for all of the nonsense we put him through. I swear to God, if you idiots try to bump him at the next voting, there is definitely going to be hell to pay."

"Thanks," Trent managed to utter in surprise.

"Someone's gotta recognize and appreciate the hard work you're doing," Duncan said in return. "Might as well be me."

"I guess if there is nothing more than needs to be said about the disaster that is the Killer Grips," Chris stated when the others fell silent. "Right. So the Gilded Chris Awards tonight go to Trent, Lindsay, Beth, and Justin." The four named contestants were managed to catch the awards thrown at them with little trouble. "Which means we say sayonara to Duncan!"

Before Duncan could even move to stand up, Chef grabbed him roughly from behind and threw him very hard across the Walk of Shame and into the Lame-o-sine. The punk barely had anytime to recover before the door was slammed shut and the vehicle sped off out of the lot and into the night. Chef wiped his hands together and chuckled in a sinister manner.

"Well, the hits just keep on coming," Chris proclaimed. "One of the toughest hombres in the competition, Duncan, is going home this soon in the game. Goes to show that you can never tell who will stay and who will go. Heck, we might even see a comeback. Who knows? All you have to do is keep it dialed here and we'll catch you next time on..." He brought his right hand up for a salute. "Total... Drama... Action! At ease."

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Voted Off – Owen, Heather, Izzy, DJ (Withdrew), LeShawna, Duncan

* * *

Sorry it took so long to update this story. But hopefully it was worth the wait.

One of my biggest gripes with the original version of Total Drama Action was how it never really took advantage of really sizzling up the Harold and Duncan feud by actually letting them go all out on one another. In fact, I am still of the opinion that the second season should have paid a great deal to the conflict between Courtney and Duncan against Harold and LeShawna, which I ended up doing in Total Drama Academy. Pushing that rivalry was one of my primary goals with Redux and was the key factor in having the teams set up the way they were. There should have been little chance for Duncan and Harold to be on the same team as a result of the intense hatred they had for one another.

So with this chapter wrapped up, it means that the next update will be the Aftermath. Due to the long delay in getting the chapters written, chances are good that most of you folks either don't know or don't remember about the forum I had set up for you to submit characters for fan participation. With that in mind, you guys can go ahead and do so through the reviews. I would still prefer that you guys do them in the forum, but there hasn't been enough to my liking at the moment. So review the story and then develop a character with their question to ask any of the contestants on the Peanut Gallery or has been eliminated up to this point. The more the merrier.

**DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN THE REVIEWS!**

**Next Up:** The Aftermath II


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